***December Snowflakes 2012 Parenting***

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I hand expressed colostrum in the hospital which they gavage fed to LO. I started pumping pretty early too - second or third day? Milk came in day 5 after 2 days of fenugreek and pumping every 3 hours.

Damn, it sucked!
 
GenY think I may need your help with this (or anyone willing to offer advice). I'm having a terrible time breastfeeding. I keep getting conflicting information like everytime baby cries put her to breast, baby will/will not use you as a pacifier so don't let her suck and fall asleep, you should wake her up every 45 minutes, you should wake her up every 3 hours.... I'm losing my ever loving mind!

Two nights ago DH convinced me to supplement with formula as we hadn't had a pee diaper in over 14 hours and she was so lethargic. I cried for an hour because I feel like I should have been able to properly feed my baby. I see so many people who are just able to breastfeed and I also feel like I'm going to be judged. I did the whole no pain med natural birth and what kind of awful person am I to cop out after three days with formula.

I've been trying to get her latched with a shield, pump colostrum when she's done (falling asleep) and then add the colostrum to a formula bottle. She's basically keeping her tongue to the roof of her mouth and barely drawing the nipple in at all. The shield seems to be helping but I'm so close to just giving up the breast completely and trying to exclusively pump and supplement.

Had our first ped appt today and at the advice of my midwife asked about her tongue and what I could do to help her keep it down. Of course the pediatrician didnt seem concerned at all and when LO started fussing and rooting said "you should probably feed her I will be right back". I totally didnt feel confortable trying in the office and when she got back told her that and she said "well you need to feed her and get comfortable with it". Ok thanks since most of our feeding sessions are ending in sobbing sessions on my end and hysterical crying from the baby. I feel worthless and like I'm failing.
 
Lilly lots of :hugs: i'm not sure if i can answer all your questions, i'm just going off my own personal experience with my two kids ... Hopefully other mums here can fill in the gaps when they get a chance to read your post.

I think with feeding schedules, let baby lead you and let you know when she is hungry. With my newborn he can demand a feed every 30mins/1hr (cluster feeds during growth spurt), and within the same day he can go for a 3-4hr stretch until the nxt feed. I have read that you shouldn't let a young baby go more than 5 hours without a feed, but in my experience 3 or 4 hours is okay for us.

Regarding wet nappies, bothmy boys in the first 2-3 days didn't have many wet nappies at all, not during thecolostrum phase, it was only after my milk came in that this changed. In the first days, this little one only did about 2 sticky tar poo nappies a day. Has your milk come in yet or are you still producing colostrum?

About baby using you ad a opacifier and falling asleep at thebreast, i'm not entirely convinced it's a bad thing. If you can use your body to comfort your baby, i think it's just an extra tool at your disposal to keep baby happy. Often babies get milk drunk while at the breast, but i find my babies seem asleep with their eyes closed snd temporarily pause suckling, but then they resumeand still keep going (sometimes a single feed can be up to an hour). You will be thebest judge to know if your baby is drinking or just comfort sucking ... She will likely suck more vigorously if she's feeding and swallowing. But keep in mind when they're so young, bf can tire them out so they take short breaks here and there but itdoesn't always means they are done.

Please don't feel like you are worthless because that is so far from the truth. Breastfeeding is difficult and both mama and baby need time to gt the hang of it, but you can and will.

Also, i wantedto add to becareful about nipple confusion when introducing the bottle as baby couldstart establishing latch habbits that are not ideal with breastfeeding, or even refuse to latch etc. try to hang ithere, but having said that, if it iscausing you too much stress andheartache, noone can judge you for switching to bottle feeding whether with formula or expressed breastmilk. This is your personal choice to make for yourself and your family ... Don't let anyone else make you feel otherwise.

Maybe if baby is really upset, just cuddle and rock her until she settles a little and try latching later. A trick i found that works for us is to put my nipple on baby's top lip to get him to open his mouth, but not inset my breast in ntil his mouth is nice and wide. Hopefully is your babyhas her mouth wide open (and when she isn't crying), this could possibly work for you? I also sometimes pinch my breast/nipple together like it's a sandwich to help with the latch.

I'm sorry i wish i could help more.
 
Lilly, i just wanted to add that despite feeding baby every hour (i basically put him on the boob if he ever fussed), he still didn't produce many wet nappies while in hospital. I was in hospital for2 nights and3 days and on the last day he had only lost 100g, and by the 7 day checkup hd had gained past his birth weight.
 
Lilly, Bay has pretty much got it covered but i'll add a few extra ideas too if you dont mind?

I would try and get in touch with a lactation consultant they are worth their weight in gold!! They can really help you get going with breastfeeding and can offer loads of advice. My first baby i started breastfeeding but then he was sent to the city and i couldn't fly until the next day so they had to bottle feed him and then when i got to be with him 36hrs later he wouldnt latch on anymore but they had a fantastic lactation consultant at the hospital who helped us both. Never feel like you cant do it or that your worthless i've been there in your shoes and felt like giving up many of times and even though it took us 6 weeks to be exclusively breastfeeding we got there :thumbup:

Babies are quite often sleepy in the first week so i found feeding on demand helped. They can cluster feed for hours and then have a sleep for upto 5 hours its completely normal. Your baby is your best guide as to when she wants a feed and when shes tired its not something you can learn from a book but something you and your baby will learn together. I find when im feeding my baby if he falls asleep half way through a feed i'll change his diaper to wake him a bit and then finish feeding him it seems to work for us and he gets a decent feed in before going back down for a sleep. As far as baby comfort sucking, in the first few weeks i would allow it as it stimulates your milk production and soothes baby all at once so its a win win situation :)

My new baby was slightley jaundiced so was extra sleepy and the pain relief i was offered ( had an emcs) made baby unco-ordinated in sucking (never told me this before i had the drugs :growlmad:) but the midwifes suggested when he wasn't latching on correctly to express into his mouth so he was still getting some colostrum (and milk when my milk came in) and this seemed to help. Also you can express into a sterile cup and feed this to baby (it does work) to ensure you're little one is getting some colostrum/milk. Be careful introducing a bottle if your baby isnt established in breastfeeding as like i said earlier it can really confuse baby and make it even more difficult to get breastfeeding going.

Also like Bay said when getting her to latch on just rub your nipple on her lip and wait for her to open her mouth wide open and bring baby on to the breast. When baby is latched on correctly you shouldnt be able to see hardly any of your areola it should be mostly in lo's mouth. If she isnt opening her mouth wide enough and she latches on to just the nipple she wont be feeding efficiently and you will get sore nipples very quickley. If she has latched onto your breast correctly she shouldnt be able to hold her tongue to the roof of her mouth. I would try getting her to get that big open mouth before latching her on and if she gets upset just try and settle her and then try again.



I can offer more advice if she is already feeding on the bottle and fussing with the breast to help you get her onto the breast again if you need it. :hugs:
 
Lilly-I had terrible problems trying to bf my son. It seemed like everything I tried didn't work. I got too stressed about it and went to supplementing pumped milk and formula. I felt like a failure. But it's better for baby to have you okay than stressed out. A lactation consultant is a godsend in my opinion. I wasn't having problems with my daughter. She was feeding fine after about 12 hours. But when the hospital lc came in she gave me a few tips and she was doing so much better.

I don't have many suggestions and I'm sorry I can't help you anymore.
 
Bay, Nellie, Stark thank you ladies so much for your support and advice. I'm not quite sure what's going to work out best for us right now. I am worried about nipple confusion but DD has to be put in daycare at six weeks due to my job and I've been worried about her refusing a bottle if I wait too long to introduce one to her.

My milk is about to come in as I've been pumping colostrum and its getting a lot more liquidy, lighter in color and instead of just a few drops I'm pulling almost an ounce out of both breasts. Before bed last night DH and I decided it would be a much easier night if I pumped as much as I could and then at feeding time mix with formula so the entire household could avoid code red crying. Once she fed and fell promptly back to sleep at 3am I wanted to cry just for relief.

I certainly don't want to give up breastfeeding but I'm wondering if exclusively pumping is going to be our ticket. It certainly meant a much happier mommy who didnt want to flick her baby in the forehead for keeping her tongue up, a much happier baby who could finally get a full tummy and a much happier daddy who didnt want to strangle mommy.
 
Lilly, I exclusively pump and it works wonders in our household. Like you I have to go back to work at 6 weeks so I didn't really worry too much when we couldn't get the hang of bf. plus with pumping I am able to store up extra milk for when I go back to work or when baby goes with her dad.
 
Lilly, for what it's worth, I was in so much pain from BF my first few days that i wanted to give up too, but the lactation consultant really helped with latching technique and now BF has gotten so much better (i'm 4 weeks into it). You are definitely NOT a failure if you switch to formula or just pumping milk only. Certainly frees you up to not be attached to your LO 24/7. Sometimes my DD starts to suck her bottom lip instead of my nipple so i just wipe her face with a burp cloth, use my fingers to unlatch her lip from her mouth, and kinda tickle her lips, chin with my nipple to get her to open wide, and once she is open wide, i shove the nipple in :) Very ungraceful, especially at 3am, in the dark, but it seems to work. It is an amazing feeling tho when she latches on and just listening to her gulp my milk. She makes such cute noises, I am happy i stuck it out. I think for BF to work tho, you have to really really want to do it, and not care about the toll it takes on your mental state, because it is quite taxing, and certainly not for everyone. I'm not sure about nipple confusion, but at my 2 day ped appt, the doc said DH should give her a bottle at night so I could get a 4 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep. So i pumped and he did that when she was only a week old, and it was fine, she was not confused. Now my body is used to sleep deprivation and DH no longer feeds her a bottle at night, he just brings her to me when she is hungry and takes her back for burping/putting in crib when she is done so i don't have to get out of bed. Its something, I guess!

I also don't think its bad to give them the boob when they are crying. I don't think DD uses it as a pacifier, but it certainly does comfort her. Ped said to stop waking her up once she has reached her birth weight, so now I don't wake her up to eat, only feed her when she is awake and rooting/screaming like a banshee! I think you should trust your mommy instinct, whatever it is telling you!

Good luck going back to work at 6 weeks...you will definitely need DH support with the night wakings then. I could not imagine going back in 2 weeks...thankfully i get 12 weeks, and even that will be rough, although i must admit i am getting bored/flustered being home with DD all day. She doesn't nap well, so i pretty much just hold her all day. I need to get her into the crib for naps more often. Tried to put her in a ring sling yesterday and she wanted none of that...not sure if i did it wrong, or if she just wasn't feeling it at that moment.

Hope everyone had a great Christmas!
 
Lily I hope bfing becomes easier for you :hugs: it's still very early days so please be easy on yourself. It's best to feed on demand as it helps your supply :thumbup: I ended up exclusively expressing for DD1 for 3-4 weeks and it became very stressful and depressing, my supply diminished and trying to get it back up was such hard work. Bfing this time has been hard to start off with too but I stuck it out and its now a breeze and I love it so much :)

Bean, thinking of you :hugs: I hope baby's back with you soon x
 
hi ladies! for those of you with LOs who are 4 weeks or older, can you tell me how often they nap, and if you have been able to get them to nap where they sleep? Gabby doesn't like to nap in her crib, and she fusses in her swing, and I can sometimes get short naps in her carseat. She has no problems sleeping on me tho! She is also starting to be awake for hours at a time during the late morning and evening hours. I like awake time, but only if she sleeps so I can rest, or at least get something accomplished around the house!
 
Millie is starting to awaken more often too. it's hard to say how often she's awake though... she'll sleep from 12am-9am(ish) waking for feeds and changes, sometimes it can take an hour/1.5hrs for each feed/change to get her back down (3x during the night usually). Then she sleeps a lot during the morning and really comes to life during the evening between 4-9 PM. I haven't actually tried her for a nap in her basket during the day as it stays upstairs and I like to keep her down stairs with me, but she doesn't settle on her own, I'll have to hold or rock her and then slyly transfer her to her swing or chair when she's deeply asleep!
 
Summer is most awake in the early mornings and a stint in the evening. She still doesn't self-soothe well so if she's had an awake period she needs a lot if help getting to sleep (swaddle, shhh-ing and rocking). At these times, if she isn't deeply asleep when I put her down she wakes and cries (doesn't matter where!) if its nighttime she goes to sleep easily after her feed and she will sleep anywhere.

One thing I learned the hard way is to not let her be active/awake longer than an hour and fifteen mins before reducing stimulation, swaddling her and trying to get her asleep. I wrongly assumed a baby would fall asleep when tired...but she fights sleep then gets overtired and then it's really hell to get her asleep!
 
Oh, and Lilly...after going through a hell of a time getting my milk in, LO didn't suck well and needed supplementation with a bottle (also so I could sleep for a half-second). I got so frustrated because she would get too tired trying to BF then would be too sleepy to take her bottle and I was so stressed about her weight.
I went to exclusively pumping and my supply was amazing...but I got PPD and pumping was soooooooooo depressing (plus interfering with sleep which was making PPD so much worse), I finally admitted that I hated it and we transitioned Summer to formula on day 17.
I felt guilty for a while, and still have dreams about going back to BF-ing, but truth is that my PPD is waaaay better, Summer is gaining like a champ, and our household has normalcy again.
There is a guilt/loss of breastfeeding thread on the formula feeding board...check it out...you are not alone and you are a great mommy!!! The BEST thing for baby is a happy mommy...if that means a bottle of formula occasionally or all the time, it's worth it.
 
Lilly big hugs to you. You're definitely not a failure!!

Ambers test results came back positive yesterday so she is still in the NICU. They started her on immunoglobulin serum yesterday and now we have to just wait and see how long it takes to work and whether she will need another dose of it. We got to see her through the window for two minutes. We are hoping they will finally let us hold her for a few minutes today. Its been very hard but I'm trying to stay strong.
I started pumping yesterday so really hoping to get my milk in soon. My blood tests came back with elevated red blood cell count so no sign of when I can leave the hospital.
 
Thanks, ladies. Gabby self soothed for bed tonigh after dh woke her from her sleep after we got back from our night out. Woo hoo! Although I wanted to punch dh for waking her to begin with...

:hugs: bean! What kind of infection is it? I hope you get to hold your lo soon!
 
I have my baby!!!!! And I'm feeding her as I type. She is amazing! Will post photos and my story when I get home to real internet!

Chloe she had something called ABO incompatibility. She's got it because I'm o positive and she is a positive. My body tried to fight her off basically. Similar to rh negative but often occurs in first pregnancies. Major complications are jaundice-the bad one often and anemia.
 
Oh Bean, big hugs your way, that must be difficult. Hope you get to hold your LO really soon. Stay strong and keep on pumping. X
 
Yay Bean!!!! Your post came through after I posted! So happy for you. Enjoy every second :)
 
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