Deciding to have another baby after 13 years....

[dfbm78]

I am 37 years old and happily married. We have 2 beautiful girls, 18 and 13 years old. We had our girls pretty young and somewhat relieved that they are now grown and we have part of our freedom back (sometimes); better vacation, financially stable; having our "me" time. My husband and I do our little vegas trip once a year; we have our date nights; outings with friends and have talked about future vacations for ourselves once the girls have found their careers and are stable. But now that my baby (13 year old) is growing up to the "leave me alone" teenage stage, we are going through the baby blues phase. We have briefly talked about having a third child off and on...but we always found reasons to brush it off... my husband brought it up again and while i had the strength to shake that off of him... i have been stuck in thought of having another... Talk about starting over after 13 years..... I know i brushed off this idea from my husband and I havent told him that ive been thinking about it for days (otherwise, he'll jump to his feet and drive me to the doctor to have my IUD removed asap)....I feel too selfish to have another...how about our future vacations? my weekly wine splurge? wine trips with my girlfriends? I feels so free!!! Can I handle another one? Is this just a phase? ----super undecided.

 

[Qmama79]

I can't give you any advice on that! Whatever you choose, I'm sure you and your husband will be on one line by the sounds of it & that's what counts. You've been through it all and you know what it entails. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

[Mthoodmom]

I had my first two children at 22 and 24, and am now pregnant with my third at age 37. My husband has no children of his own, and it was either now or never for us to have a baby together. Going from being able to do adult activities all the time, drinking, dinner, long hiking trips, to being at home with a baby will probably be a bit of a challenge at times for me, but the sacrifices are worth it for us to build our family. There have been many times where I felt too "selfish" to go through pregnancy, babyhood, and the toddler stages, now that my children are so self sufficient, but I try to remind myself that it goes by so quickly, and that we will get great joy out of experiencing these milestones.

If I were you, I would ask myself why I was considering having a third NOW. Are you bored? Worried you will miss your window? Aching for a baby? Sad that your teens don't need you any more? Only you know what your motivation is, and weather you really want to parent a third baby when your other two are nearly grown up!

Even though I worry about missing out on all my favorite "grown up" activities when our baby is born, I know that I will find some sort of a balance even if life isn't exactly the same as it was before. Good luck with your decision! it's not an easy one! I had a tubal ligation when my youngest was 1 year, and so deciding to conceive again at 37 involved quitting my job and traveling for IVF.