definition of small baby - different to some people.

[vermeil]

meep cowboy's angel please don't think I was trying to belittle anyone else's experience! 25weeker and sb22 said it very well (thanks ladies!). Every preemie journey is very hard and nerve wrenching. I'm glad to hear your daughter's a month old already!

I related my experiences just because this past year I've been thinking of this topic a LOT. How suffering just can't be compared. That woman whose baby was under uv lamps - was her suffering as valid as mine? Yes. Did I resent her a bit for it? Absolutely. Is that right of me? Not really What about a guy who's upset because his prized sports car is scratched? Or the neighbour whose yappy small dog passed away?

Hotmum that means a lot to me, thank you! Made me a bit teary eyed I remember coming to this board in the thick of things and clinging like mad to the stories with happy endings. I would read them over and over and stare at the pictures of the smiling healthy babies. Glad I could return the favor to other moms

indy and lara, well said! Thanks for your thoughts on this. That's pretty much what I was trying to say - those parents whose preemies had brief stays, their journey is just as much tortuous as you say. Was I secretly annoyed when I saw moms crying because they had to leave their babies overnight, and leave empty handed? Absolutely. Was I right to? Nope. I'm sure if roles were reversed I would have been just as upset and thought it was the end of the world. Which it would have been for me! Hope this makes any sort of sense

I've never really related all the awful events we went through because I always feel like I sound either whiny or braggy. Yet like hotmum said it does help others sometimes.

Well! Back to the original topic =p Vincent is a year old and percentile wise is now about 2%. We're almost touching the actual curb now, which starts at 3% yay!

 

[cowboys angel]

I didn't take it that way at all.

 

[Hotmum]

Hotmum that means a lot to me, thank you! Made me a bit teary eyed I remember coming to this board in the thick of things and clinging like mad to the stories with happy endings. I would read them over and over and stare at the pictures of the smiling healthy babies. Glad I could return the favor to other moms

Yea that´s why whenever I see a topic of 30 to 32 weekers I jump into it =)
I just want to return to others what you and these wondeful ladies have done to me,
I do agree that reading and seeing happy endings help SO MUCH and give us the streght of ´´keep going``. I am REALLY glad I made to 32 weeks and honestly I´ve been tru both:
a 34+4 weeker, 2 weeks in the hospital due jaundice and couple spells.
And a crazy pregnancy where my baby could be born anywhere from 26-32 weeks, a short NICU jorney - almost 2 weeks -( Thanks God ! I´m really thankfull it was short ) but well... IDK how many days left in the special care ...

It has been 23 LONG days(and still counting) without my baby girl, but I know is nothing compared to 100 days...
But from my experience I was MORE emotional with my 34+4 weeker than my 32,
I think it was because I was going tru sooo much, crazy pre-e, I fainted couple times due crazy bp, vomiting every single thing, and drinking 4-5 litters to pee 1 to 2, extreme endema and even PTL was hitting me!
Pain and baby getting less and less fluid (even droping heart rates at the very end) it was the worse 4 weeks of MY LIFE but I would not change it people were calling me crazy because many would just give up and have the baby.
But I knew that every day inside me was a BIG thing, so after delivery I was glad I gave my all to her, I did cry when I went home with hands empty but surely remembering why she was there helped me.
We have our up´s and down´s somedays I am smilling as a clown because she is progressing and some I am crying because she regressed a little.

now I realized that I was really lucky with my son !
But honestly if wasn´t for this new experience I was still going to think I had the most awful experience in my life with my son ( haha sorry It makes me laugh how I didn´t know ). It can´t be compared =(
So life make you SEE or FEEL worse situations for you to realize how blessed you are.

In my case, I saw and fell and still feeling that sometimes we gotta go to hell to get to heaven

But nobody knows what you feel like until THEY feel it

I think I´m having a harder time now with my daugther but I finally realized that she is great and I am thankfull that she was born at 32 not 26...

- k I´m crying hehe -

 

[vermeil]

I didn't take it that way at all.

oof good

 

[vermeil]

*hugs hotmum*

 

[Fiestagal]

Thanks ladies for your replies, I apologise for the stirring up of emotions.

Vermeil I can identify with some of the things you have said about the categorization of mums and emotions. I was very much the image of coping and calm on the outside but inside was quite emotional if that makes sense. We all have valid reasons for being upset about our baby being in special care, although I have one friend whose baby spent one night in special care (not nicu) and then 3 days transitional care at her (the mums) bedside on a normal ward before going home and she still tells friends about her daughter's awful first week of her life in NICU, that makes me mad.

I think I see Connor as more small than prem, he was 36 weeks almost and had none of the premmie problems except growth and temperature regulation and a 4 week stay so sometimes a feel a fraud when you ladies have had a bumpy ride.

Gah, I'm rambling and not making sense!

 

[lozzy21]

I think if your childs hospital stay was not the norm its awfull for the mother no matter how long it was or how sick your child was

I know i was extreamly lucky with Niamh, especialy since she was in the NICU since that was the only spare bed they had with all the tiny preemies who were too sick for hugs when she only had jaundice and related feeding issues but when they start talking about blood transfusions "only jaundice" can seem bloody scary.

Any seperation from your child is hell even if its just for one night.

As lucky as we were her first week in hospital was hell for me, more so because i had been lulled into a fase sence of security with her being on the ward with me for 2 days before being taken through. I was lucky that i dident have to leave the hospital without her but at the same time i was stuck on the ward with babys crying.

 

[Fiestagal]

Lozzy - what I was trying to say was about people who exaggerate their story, telling people that her baby was in icu when she wasn't. I'm not judging anyone on here, I mentioned my friend as her story of events has changed from the actual version of events at the time. I'm probably putting my foot in it again!

 

[Hotmum]

Lozzy - what I was trying to say was about people who exaggerate their story, telling people that her baby was in icu when she wasn't. I'm not judging anyone on here, I mentioned my friend as her story of events has changed from the actual version of events at the time. I'm probably putting my foot in it again!

I feel your pain

my 32 weeker is ´´behind`` an ordinary 32 weeker.
everybody use to tell me that she would take MAX of 30 days for her to come home...
Well It´s been 25 today and nobody said anything about it yet and she still on feeding tube and lost weight this week...
so, well... I will wait till her due I lost hope about bringing her home earlier than that...

- And totally put your foot in her fake story if she tells it again ! haha-