hi redfraggle. only joined site yesterday and not sure how it all works, or what all the lingo means yet!! I've read some of your posts as you seem in a similar situation to me. if you get this message would be good to hear from you. Hope it all goes well for you, sounds like a long old journey you've been on!!
Delayed Ejaculation
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SaraJewel
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Looking to share experiences and woes!!! We have been ttc for over 7 months now. I don't know if my OH has delayed ejaculation or performance anxiety, but basically he couldn't finish for the first 4 months of ttc and has only finished 2 times in the past 3 months.
I have been going crazy with this. We talked about it a few months ago and took the pressure off a bit, and since then I have stopped talking about ttc. BUT I cannot see the situation improving. I want to broach the subject about AI with him or other methods to help him finish, but he is quite old fashioned and I am worried that he will not be able to talk about this.
How has everyone else broached the subject? Also, has anyone sought help from their Doctor and if so, were they receptive? I am over 35 so am wondering whether we should go and see our Dr for advice............... Help!!!!
I have been going crazy with this. We talked about it a few months ago and took the pressure off a bit, and since then I have stopped talking about ttc. BUT I cannot see the situation improving. I want to broach the subject about AI with him or other methods to help him finish, but he is quite old fashioned and I am worried that he will not be able to talk about this.
How has everyone else broached the subject? Also, has anyone sought help from their Doctor and if so, were they receptive? I am over 35 so am wondering whether we should go and see our Dr for advice............... Help!!!!
Hello,
This is my first post so excuse me if I don't use all the lingo yet. My husband is also a DE guy and we have just started IA at home. I have started to test for Ovulation and I am currently CD14 and no lines yet. I have few questions and I am hoping someone can answer!
1) Does the "cup" need to be sterile or will a new paper cup each time be ok?
2) does the syringe need to be new or sterlized each try?
3) how long will "his boys" be ok in the cup? I have read anywhere from minutes to 72 hours..?
4) My periods sometimes start with a very tiny amout of blood on the TP. Just a little speck. Then it may take a day or 2 for it to fully flow. So, when would I say my period started? when the flow started or I saw the first drop?
5) assuming that I get a sense of when I ovualte, I sould be doing IA from around CD10 to CD18? correct?
We literally started this week and I am already going insane. This is going to be hard.
This is my first post so excuse me if I don't use all the lingo yet. My husband is also a DE guy and we have just started IA at home. I have started to test for Ovulation and I am currently CD14 and no lines yet. I have few questions and I am hoping someone can answer!
1) Does the "cup" need to be sterile or will a new paper cup each time be ok?
2) does the syringe need to be new or sterlized each try?
3) how long will "his boys" be ok in the cup? I have read anywhere from minutes to 72 hours..?
4) My periods sometimes start with a very tiny amout of blood on the TP. Just a little speck. Then it may take a day or 2 for it to fully flow. So, when would I say my period started? when the flow started or I saw the first drop?
5) assuming that I get a sense of when I ovualte, I sould be doing IA from around CD10 to CD18? correct?
We literally started this week and I am already going insane. This is going to be hard.
I was also really worried about the IA discussion but it is what it is. I used a humor approach and it worked well. He wasn't stressed because I wasn't stressed. It is a fact and it needs to be addressed. Try talking about it as light hearted as you can!
ummm I meant AI....BTW
I meant AI ....BTWHello,
This is my first post so excuse me if I don't use all the lingo yet. My husband is also a DE guy and we have just started IA at home. I have started to test for Ovulation and I am currently CD14 and no lines yet. I have few questions and I am hoping someone can answer!
1) Does the "cup" need to be sterile or will a new paper cup each time be ok?
2) does the syringe need to be new or sterlized each try?
3) how long will "his boys" be ok in the cup? I have read anywhere from minutes to 72 hours..?
4) My periods sometimes start with a very tiny amout of blood on the TP. Just a little speck. Then it may take a day or 2 for it to fully flow. So, when would I say my period started? when the flow started or I saw the first drop?
5) assuming that I get a sense of when I ovualte, I sould be doing IA from around CD10 to CD18? correct?
We literally started this week and I am already going insane. This is going to be hard.
LilMrs224
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My husband has the same issue and has the whole time we have been together. At first it was an issue because I have never been with a guy who couldn't "accomplish" from just having sex with me. After we talked ALOT about the whole thing it just didn't matter anymore so much if he did or didn't "accomplish" but with us TTC it has been a huge road block. We have found that some things help. (TMI) but he can when we do oral most times. So we kinda trick his body! We have sex normally then after I get mine we switch it up and he gets oral until he literally is about to then we very quickly switch it up he sticks it in and BAM the deed is done. It took us alot of practice but thats how I got pregnant the first time. Also we realized that if we do this enough regularly he lossens up and after a while he can do it from just sex.
I know thats way too much info but I just wanted you to know your not alone and if you need to talk or to vent or whatever else then inbox me
I know thats way too much info but I just wanted you to know your not alone and if you need to talk or to vent or whatever else then inbox me
SaraJewel
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LittleLunisis
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I have the same issue with my partner, though he insists it's not psychological (even though I know it clearly is from many conversations we have had).
We are now TTC and he was in complete denial and used to make excuses, 'I've eaten too much', 'I didn't stretch', 'I am tired'. He doesn't do this any more since I pointed out that it's a known condition.
I don't put any pressure on him and I always say as long as he had fun it doesn't matter but when you are TTC the pressure is always there as much as you try to forget about it.
I want to approach the subject of artificial insemination at home to help things along. Not quite sure how I am going to do this yet. He is the one that wanted children from the beginning and we are now in a really good place. I just feel if we don't try other methods it'll never happen.
We are now TTC and he was in complete denial and used to make excuses, 'I've eaten too much', 'I didn't stretch', 'I am tired'. He doesn't do this any more since I pointed out that it's a known condition.
I don't put any pressure on him and I always say as long as he had fun it doesn't matter but when you are TTC the pressure is always there as much as you try to forget about it.
I want to approach the subject of artificial insemination at home to help things along. Not quite sure how I am going to do this yet. He is the one that wanted children from the beginning and we are now in a really good place. I just feel if we don't try other methods it'll never happen.
The mailman
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Hi new to this as I google it last nnight, Me and my wif are trying for a third and last night we had sex but I couldn't get my self to come. This happened when trying for our second as well. And having long sessions is just not fun when you know the outcome isnt going to be what you want. I kinda knew it was in my head , I think it comes down to pressure. The. Pressure of knowing that in the end, it all comes down to me, if I don't come, there will be no babies. So I broke it down like this..
I have never had problems coming when having sex with my wife, she knew that and that was wery important because she understood it had nothing to do with her. And since it all come down to one thing, We want a baby, then it was simple.
I told her that I could go into another room and masturbate to the point of coming and then come into the bedroom and finish inside her. She agreed that that wasn't such a bad idea and so we did and I worked like a charm.
I needed to get this of my chest as I found very little help online. Can't really afford therapy
I went in to this site to tell the worlds men that I had a solution and when I couldn't find the thread I found yesterday I stumbled on your answer.
Thank you and good bye
I have never had problems coming when having sex with my wife, she knew that and that was wery important because she understood it had nothing to do with her. And since it all come down to one thing, We want a baby, then it was simple.
I told her that I could go into another room and masturbate to the point of coming and then come into the bedroom and finish inside her. She agreed that that wasn't such a bad idea and so we did and I worked like a charm.
I needed to get this of my chest as I found very little help online. Can't really afford therapy
I went in to this site to tell the worlds men that I had a solution and when I couldn't find the thread I found yesterday I stumbled on your answer.
Thank you and good bye
I have the same problem .Hope you are pregnant now.. How did you get over this problem? have tried 2 IUI's and no success
Hello, my husband has this problem! Think there is only three of us on this site who have this problem. No happy ending for me yet but the other women is in 2nd tri so there is hope!
I'm over in the LLTTC bit and have a journal there with our story.
My husbands problem is psychological as well but in our case it only started about five years ago (and only with me, he is fine on his own). We went to the doctors about it and got referred for counselling. It did help a bit, we discovered the cause of it and he gave us loads of techniques and "homework" to do each week. I can give you more details of it if you want. It was a partial success. He can now ejeculate if pleasure him by hand or mouth but we can't seem to do it through intercourse (although he keeps insisting we are getting really close to it now - which we never were before).
I know how fustrating it is for you and how difficult it is to stay relaxed. Can't tell you how many times I have waited for DH to fall asleep after sex and sneaked off to the bathroom for a good cry.
Any questions at all just ask. There is fantastic support here and it is easier to be relaxed with my husband when I can come on here and rant and rave about it all to the girls in here instead of ranting to him!
Its exactly the same problem that me and my husband are facing.. You said with few tips you were able to get over the problem.. could you please tell them and do you have any good news now?
hi guys i just want to give u a sucess story my husband has this same problem he always has done however we have a 2 yr old daughter and a baby on the way he cant ejaculate at all with my help or during intercourse but on his own he is fine so i know it is not easy but when we were trying ttc our children i just laid on the bed while he knelt between my legs i would lay with my eyes closed for abit less embarrasedment for him he would pleasure himself and just as he was about to ejaculate he would go inside if u get me i would then put my legs up the wall lol give thea helping hand and i have alway sfallen pregnant 1st month of trying hope this helps feel free to pm me if u would like a chat as i know how frustrating it can be especially if u have a man who is embarrassed by good luck and lots of
me and my hubby have the same problem and your success story is a great news to me .. just waiting to try the same way as you said... just a question..dont know if its awkward to ask. Wont his penis become soft(loose erection) by the time he pleasures himself and then enters.. ?
mum2beagain
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It took bit of practice but he now enters me about 3 seconds before he cums I lay In front of him with my legs open and eyes closed get kneels between my legs so hes in the right place to quicy get in there lol x good luck
I am soooo glad I found this post. My DH and I are ttc for for a few months. Went to a fertility specialist, however, I want to conceive naturally I.e no ivf etc. My DH has DE and low sperm count and linear progression, I have pcos.
For DE we will try :-
1. Artificial insemination.
2. Practice putting "it" in right before he comes.
3. Iui as last resort
pinkribbon
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I haven't read the whole thread so I hope you are getting on ok 
When my partner and I first got together he had this problem (I am his only sexual partner) and he was worried about it too, was concerned it could be all sorts of things.
He found out that when he relaxed and stopped tensing up he found ejaculation very easy and now we have no issues whatsoever. Maybe worth a go?
When my partner and I first got together he had this problem (I am his only sexual partner) and he was worried about it too, was concerned it could be all sorts of things.
He found out that when he relaxed and stopped tensing up he found ejaculation very easy and now we have no issues whatsoever. Maybe worth a go?
I know that your post is old and I am hoping this gets to you! My hubby and I are having the same issue. It has been very emotional for me! I am being super patient and understanding but it's hard when you have no one to talk to about the issue. I wanted to reach out to you and see what your results were. If you have a successful story and if you could share your story with me. Any advice would help and be appreciated.
