Deployment?

[terra1985]

I'm 19.5 weeks with my first and dad is deployed. I am feeling as though he is being unsupportive and not being understanding to my need for a little extra support during this time. This is the first deployment that i have experienced that is not combat related so i feel as though a little more of his down time should be spent calling or emailing with me. Instead he is out to dinner for hours every night.
Part of me knows i am being a brat, but i feel very alone. I get extremely jealous of my other preggo friends who get to be with their men, even something as simple as another woman's facebook update of daddy getting to feel the baby kick will drive me to tears.
Part of it is trust issues, but there is part of me that feels like he'd just rather have this time alone for him. I don't want time alone for me so maybe i can't relate.
I'm probably not making sense, but is there anyone else who has had a similar situation? how do i make this better?

 

[CatherineK]

I spent 10 years in the military (USMC) so I've been deployed myself (before kids). Don't take his going out as a slight to you. Honestly, when a group of young men are away from home, their bonding time together helps keep them strong and not lonely. Men cope with deployment differently, but believe me, the deployed people who spent hours every day on phone an email to home were normally depressed and homesick. Let him have fun, as long as he's not blowing all your money and still keeps regular contact. It's not easy work, even during peacetime, and those bonds he builds with coworkers will help him through the deployment. Believe me, I know it's hard for you! But realize this is just normal

 

[jazzylady]

My hubby is deployed now for the next three months...there is nothing I can do.I can't get upset because makes no sense. Is not the first time here but if we knew at the moment where he sign the papers to be sent away that we are pregnant he wouldn't have done it.But the money is good and 3 months will go somehow.

Now I don't have an advice for your situation because we don't have those kind of issue, but what my hubby told me 2 days before he left was even if he smile,laugh,make jokes always busy,never complaining it does not mean that he does not suffer,that he don't wish to be here because he does.he just have a different way to cope with the situation.

How long until he comes back?

 

[terra1985]

He'll be back about 2 weeks before my due date, about 4 more months

 

[jazzylady]

Yeah that is a while.I know it sucks.especially when you have no one else around you,like me!

 

[TatorMom]

My DH spent 6 years in an Army SpecOps unit and 10 years total in the Amry. Like CatherineK said, it's important for them to go out and bond with the guys and not worry about what's going on at home. Doing what my husband was doing, the last thing I would want is for him to be thinking/worrying about me and be distracted while he was out on a mission. I would never expect him to call or email me all the time either, although he usually couldn't call much, if even 1x during his deployments, but none the less. His Ranger buddies are his "brothers", and their families became family to us. I would want him to unwind with his buddies, although a phone call every couple days(if possible) is nice, just to hear his voice. When he was away training and could have his phone he'd text quite a bit and call 1-2x a day or when ever he could, but he still went out to dinner or such, which is good. He has loved being around during my pregnancies, especially as my belly gets bigger. He really likes that for some reason. I feel for you, but also know he needs to bond and not constantly be worrying about you or worrying about having to call or email. Hang in there! I'm glad DH got out and so's he. As he says, it's better for single men.

 

[amjon]

My husband isn't deployed, but has had to work in NYC for the whole pregnancy so far. He's been able to come home a few times. The doctor grounded me at 8 weeks, so I couldn't make any trips up there. We've lost our first 3 pregnancies, so for us we're both worried about the babies. I can't wait until he can be home to feel the babies kick. It isn't easy, but we make it work. The doctor wrote us a note that he needs to work in the area as I have a high risk pregnancy and really need his help. She wrote it in December, but he didn't give it to his employer until recently and will start working from home next week. If you are having issues in your pregnancy the doctor may be willing to do that for you and I'm sure they would have to make accommodations (DH's employer isn't quite as accommodating as they are India based and don't really completely understand American labor law).

 

[IndieBelle]

My hubby is being deployed for 3 months when our bub is about 8 weeks old. Not to mention that we have just been posted again so I have absolutely nobody up here. Some of my family will be coming up for a visit.
My sister went through her pregnancy with her hubby in Afghanistan, he was away when she found out she was pregnant (only gone for a week! nothing suss! haha) and came home a week before bub was due, so he missed pretty much the entire pregnancy. She already had two kids so she had to chase those two around too. Don't know how she did it!