DH had an affair

[msbene]

I agree with you - dont tell family until you have an idea of what you want to do with your marriage. Good luck and I'm deeply sorry you're experiencing such a betrayal.

 

[darkriver]

I am sorry hun. What a disgusting thing to do for him to do. Glad your getting counselling.

 

[smileyfaces]

Woah that's so wrong of him to do that anyway but to do it while he had the baby? And to let her hold the baby etc? That is way way way overstepping the mark!

Hope you are OK.

 

[marmoset]

Thank you very much for the continued support. Your words are reaching me and giving me strength.

I am doing OK. We are talking a lot. It's hard. It's hard trying to feel my feelings without creating a stressful environment for baby.

One day at a time.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thinking of you

 

[caz_hills]

Sending hugs xxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Firstly big hugs . I'm sorry you are having to experience this . Things are not ok right now but they will be ok again xxx what is important now is that you look after yourself and DO what you feel is right for you wether that is calling to quits or working things out . Only you know what feels right for you so get people around you that will support that .

There is no rush to work this out , take all the time you need . Take care of you and your baby right now xxxxx

 

[catty]

That story made me feel a bit sick. Infront of the baby?!? The woman holding the baby, having sex in your bed!!

Firstly i am so sorry this has happened to you.

Secondly it really does sound like some sort of thing he needs to see a counsellor about. Why now after having a baby? Why take the baby? Etc etc if it sounds very out of character than i think he must be having some issues since becoming a parent. Not excusing his behaviour at all though.

As for the woman is she desperate to be a mum? Has she lost a baby? It just sounds so strange to me. She also sounds like she has a whole suitcase of issues.i hope you are ok and you can work through this. The trust may be gone but i definately think going to a professional to talk things through could help you both and you could decide from there where to go. X

 

[marmoset]

Thank you (again) for all your kind words.

Would anyone have book recommendations on healing from infidelity? When I'm facing an issue I like to read a lot about it.

Much love and thanks again. Today has been easier than yesterday, which was easier than the day before.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I am glad that things are gradually getting easier

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Thank you (again) for all your kind words.

Would anyone have book recommendations on healing from infidelity? When I'm facing an issue I like to read a lot about it.

Much love and thanks again. Today has been easier than yesterday, which was easier than the day before.

Power Of The Praying Wife

ill name some others in a bit that helped me. There really isnt a ton but there are some.

 

[Left wonderin]

Feal the fear and do it anyway is a book that I love to red when I'm feeling disempowered in any situation

 

[Jessicahide]

I may be overstepping the mark here and if i am, please ignore me, but to me, this sounds a lot deeper than most infidelity... It sounds like he was almost lashing out at you, i mean he had sex, in your bed in the same room as your newborn when you were only gone for 2 hours!!! I think there is some deep issues here that only he can fix, a resentment of some form that he has. This has been used to smash you, you need to find out why and if you can move on.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I may be overstepping the mark here and if i am, please ignore me, but to me, this sounds a lot deeper than most infidelity... It sounds like he was almost lashing out at you, i mean he had sex, in your bed in the same room as your newborn when you were only gone for 2 hours!!! I think there is some deep issues here that only he can fix, a resentment of some form that he has. This has been used to smash you, you need to find out why and if you can move on.

well yeah... MOST men dont just wake up one day and decide at that moment to cheat for no reason. Of course there is a reason that is deeper and with HIM.

 

[Jessicahide]

I may be overstepping the mark here and if i am, please ignore me, but to me, this sounds a lot deeper than most infidelity... It sounds like he was almost lashing out at you, i mean he had sex, in your bed in the same room as your newborn when you were only gone for 2 hours!!! I think there is some deep issues here that only he can fix, a resentment of some form that he has. This has been used to smash you, you need to find out why and if you can move on.

well yeah... MOST men dont just wake up one day and decide at that moment to cheat for no reason. Of course there is a reason that is deeper and with HIM.

No i think its more, it seems almost animalistic or territorial.... This is not a case of him running off and pretending he is not a family man, he is taking his trash home with him....

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I may be overstepping the mark here and if i am, please ignore me, but to me, this sounds a lot deeper than most infidelity... It sounds like he was almost lashing out at you, i mean he had sex, in your bed in the same room as your newborn when you were only gone for 2 hours!!! I think there is some deep issues here that only he can fix, a resentment of some form that he has. This has been used to smash you, you need to find out why and if you can move on.

well yeah... MOST men dont just wake up one day and decide at that moment to cheat for no reason. Of course there is a reason that is deeper and with HIM.

No i think its more, it seems almost animalistic or territorial.... This is not a case of him running off and pretending he is not a family man, he is taking his trash home with him....

I cant help but agree.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I may be overstepping the mark here and if i am, please ignore me, but to me, this sounds a lot deeper than most infidelity... It sounds like he was almost lashing out at you, i mean he had sex, in your bed in the same room as your newborn when you were only gone for 2 hours!!! I think there is some deep issues here that only he can fix, a resentment of some form that he has. This has been used to smash you, you need to find out why and if you can move on.

well yeah... MOST men dont just wake up one day and decide at that moment to cheat for no reason. Of course there is a reason that is deeper and with HIM.

No i think its more, it seems almost animalistic or territorial.... This is not a case of him running off and pretending he is not a family man, he is taking his trash home with him....

He can " run away and pretend to not be a family man" and do it right in his home. Many men do it all the time sadly. If you sat in on one of the mens sex/porn addiction groups, youd be sick and shocked at everything they do.

 

[marmoset]

OnErth&InHvn based on my story do you think this sounds like it could be sex addiction? DH brought that up but I thought it sounded like a cop-out. Admittedly I don't know anything about it though. :-/

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

OnErth&InHvn based on my story do you think this sounds like it could be sex addiction? DH brought that up but I thought it sounded like a cop-out. Admittedly I don't know anything about it though. :-/

Its a possibility. Does he watch porn? ( guys will tell you no big deal all guys do it it but im talking every day ( or most days), quite a bit) Does he have a history of reaching out to others ( even if not following through)?

If HE is saying its an addiction, then he needs help and there IS help for him. A regular counselor can help but he needs to find a group like 12 step/AA but for addicts of sex/porn. ( i can get you some resources in a bit). There he will be with other guys in recovery and not and they will work through it. You will be with other women if you want who are going through it.

If hes just claiming its an addiction and its not, then he still needs help because hes passing the buck instead of owning it and fixing his issues.

PS- ill add more later, we are stepping out and i can explain in better detail how its an addiction vs 1 time fluke of a bad choice.

 

[Jessicahide]

I may be overstepping the mark here and if i am, please ignore me, but to me, this sounds a lot deeper than most infidelity... It sounds like he was almost lashing out at you, i mean he had sex, in your bed in the same room as your newborn when you were only gone for 2 hours!!! I think there is some deep issues here that only he can fix, a resentment of some form that he has. This has been used to smash you, you need to find out why and if you can move on.

well yeah... MOST men dont just wake up one day and decide at that moment to cheat for no reason. Of course there is a reason that is deeper and with HIM.

No i think its more, it seems almost animalistic or territorial.... This is not a case of him running off and pretending he is not a family man, he is taking his trash home with him....

He can " run away and pretend to not be a family man" and do it right in his home. Many men do it all the time sadly. If you sat in on one of the mens sex/porn addiction groups, youd be sick and shocked at everything they do.

No sorry you are missing my point, i am being very clear about it too.