Did a man really just say this to me about my vagina??

[Tasha]

Haha smokey, so true.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would have taken his comment with a pinch of salt. It wouldnt have offended me.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I agree with Tasha. Just because he's a man doesn't mean his opinion isn't valid. So what if he said all women should breastfeed? I'd be pretty damn impressed by that, lol!

Seems a natural follow on to the conversation, but it's all based on our comfort level. Wouldn't have bothered me.

 

[Liesje]

It's not really his opinion that I was weirded out by, it's that he was just some stranger that came up to me in a park. He's not my doctor, my significant other, or even a friend... Who is this person to bring up such a personal topic? Would it be ok for him to hunt me down in a park to express his opinion on what brand of tampons or contraception I should use also?
I thought it was odd for him to be asking about whether my baby was on time, but I thought since his wife is currently overdue, it might be somewhat closer to a relevant topic than it normally would have been so I indulged him... But just because I've had a child doesn't mean I should be excited to yik yak about vaginas everywhere I go..

 

[Ozzieshunni]

He was probably nervous himself. It's not all the time that people have alterior motives Maybe he was just being polite.

 

[deafgal]

It's not really his opinion that I was weirded out by, it's that he was just some stranger that came up to me in a park. He's not my doctor, my significant other, or even a friend... Who is this person to bring up such a personal topic? Would it be ok for him to hunt me down in a park to express his opinion on what brand of tampons or contraception I should use also?
I thought it was odd for him to be asking about whether my baby was on time, but I thought since his wife is currently overdue, it might be somewhat closer to a relevant topic than it normally would have been so I indulged him... But just because I've had a child doesn't mean I should be excited to yik yak about vaginas everywhere I go..

next time, say "I believe all guy should wear natural lamb rubber"

 

[Liesje]

It's not really his opinion that I was weirded out by, it's that he was just some stranger that came up to me in a park. He's not my doctor, my significant other, or even a friend... Who is this person to bring up such a personal topic? Would it be ok for him to hunt me down in a park to express his opinion on what brand of tampons or contraception I should use also?
I thought it was odd for him to be asking about whether my baby was on time, but I thought since his wife is currently overdue, it might be somewhat closer to a relevant topic than it normally would have been so I indulged him... But just because I've had a child doesn't mean I should be excited to yik yak about vaginas everywhere I go..

next time, say "I believe all guy should wear natural lamb rubber"

I had to google that.... OMG they have a drawstring!
This shall be my new position on male prophylactics

 

[JASMAK]

Haven't read though. The only thing I thought from it was, gosh...I hope his wife doesn't ever need a section, because he comes off as someone who would blame and think of her as a failure. The word vagina does not creep me out...its like saying elbow. Labia is a word I find not creepy, but heard less often, so shocking, although normal.

 

[cupcakekate]

It's not really his opinion that I was weirded out by, it's that he was just some stranger that came up to me in a park. He's not my doctor, my significant other, or even a friend... Who is this person to bring up such a personal topic? Would it be ok for him to hunt me down in a park to express his opinion on what brand of tampons or contraception I should use also?
I thought it was odd for him to be asking about whether my baby was on time, but I thought since his wife is currently overdue, it might be somewhat closer to a relevant topic than it normally would have been so I indulged him... But just because I've had a child doesn't mean I should be excited to yik yak about vaginas everywhere I go..

next time, say "I believe all guy should wear natural lamb rubber"

I had to google that.... OMG they have a drawstring!
This shall be my new position on male prophylactics

just googled...can't think of anything worse

 

[Ozzieshunni]

In the old days, they used to reuse condoms without washing them and they were made from various animal intestine

 

[Andypanda6570]

I don't think it is what he said but who he said it to. I would not be offended but it would be strange for someone I don't know to say that I would probably just roll my eyes and not give it a second thought..

 

[fluffpuffin]

I don't think the issue should so much be what he said but the context- the OP had just told him she had a c section and he thought it appropriate to say he thinks women should give birth naturally...well yeah most of us think that too but life doesn't work like that, and frankly the fact he is a man would piss me off more about it! Not that he isn't entitled to his opinion of course he is, but I don't think it was the time or place for it and the OP wasn't asking for it. I just hope his wife does get the vaginal birth they desire because in the UK 20% of women don't give birth naturally.

I agree it's very judgemental to judge how the OP has given birth. Some people are ignorant though. I had people, especially blokes say the same to me, surprisingly enough. I find it shuts people up pretty quickly when I tell them that in the age before c-sections me and Isla would have probably died in labour.

 

[Abigailly]

I don't understand how it's acceptable for you to say that you've had an elective section and will be having another but he can't talk about a vaginal birth? Surely they're the same thing. That's like been able to talk about bottle feeding but saying breastfeeding is taboo?

You may of explained this, I've not read the whole thread. I think the only issue here is that the man stated his opinion so boldly. But, I think it's wonderful a man feels strong enough to talk about a 'women's subject'.

 

[mummylove]

To me its not creepy. Its only creepy if u make it creepy

And reading what u put he never actually said anything about ur vagina. He just said he thinks WOMEN should give birth vaginally

 

[Blah11]

I hate the word vulva

 

[Pearls18]

Labia....yak

 

[smokey]

Would still be "creepy" if it was the wife you where having the conversation with?
Is it just because it was a man?

 

[Eala]

The OP has the right to feel how she feels... Just because someone else wouldn't be offended or find it creepy doesn't mean she is somehow "wrong" for feeling that way. We all have different tolerance levels. And in some ways, he was talking about her vagina, as he was implying that by having an ELCS, she wasn't using her vagina for one of its "proper" purposes.

It's the judgemental attitude which would wind me up more than his use of the word "vaginally". But it's a very "first-time parent" way to look at the world, isn't it? I think the majority of first-time parents have this idea that things will always go according to plan. I know I did, and quite a few of my friends did too. Even if you were kinda thinking "Well, I'll go with the flow", really, you were hoping/planning for things to go the way you'd like them to go. I wonder how he will feel if his wife requires an EMCS?

 

[Liesje]

Would still be "creepy" if it was the wife you where having the conversation with?
Is it just because it was a man?

I think the conversation would have been less creepy if it was an overdue woman asking me herself, yes.
My OH is well aware that even if he had opinions on any feminin issues, they would not be taken into consideration while I'm making decisions about my body.
I was just as offended/annoyed when they had an all-male panel of "experts" making decisions on contraception in the US a few months back.

 

[deafgal]

Would still be "creepy" if it was the wife you where having the conversation with?
Is it just because it was a man?

I think the conversation would have been less creepy if it was an overdue woman asking me herself, yes.
My OH is well aware that even if he had opinions on any feminin issues, they would not be taken into consideration while I'm making decisions about my body.
I was just as offended/annoyed when they had an all-male panel of "experts" making decisions on contraception in the US a few months back.

yeah, in the U.S., they have a reputation of making decisions, and even laws about what they feel is best for women and their vagina