Different surname to your child

[laurajo24]

I was just reading a news article about a troubled teen. Someone commented:

'Daughter with a different surname to the mother..... never a good sign'

This has really upset me. Is this what people really think???

My boy has his fathers surname, not mine. We weren't married when we had him but had every intention to marry one day. But sadly things didn't work out between us.

Does this give someone the right to assume my LO is going to be getting into trouble a lot when he's older?

I don't really know why it's bothering me so much. I guess I had never realy thought about it much before. I would never judge someone because they had a different surname to their mother.

 

[tallybee]

I would never judge anyone based on that hun

I know it's easier said than done but please don't take that rubbish to heart xx

 

[laurajo24]

Thanks hun. I'm just feeling a bit sensitive at the moment. It just amazes me how narrow minded people can be sometimes! x

 

[tallybee]

 

[Tasha]

what a narrow minded view. I dont think people in general think like that hun.

So many reasons why a child might have the same name as their mother any way.

 

[bumpy_j]

what a load of rubbish, I have a different surname to my LO and I'm still with FOB - ergh people can be so up their own arse

 

[gingajewel]

Ive been with my OH 11 years and we arent married and my LO has his surname - i sure hope that means Megan isnt going to turn into a criminal when she is older....my gosh some people are sooo narrow minded!!

 

[Dizzy321]

I have a different name to my 3 kids, I dont like it and plan on changing that very soon, but in no way would I judge anyone for that x

 

[vixxen]

Unfortunately that is very common, people assume loads if you have different names, and even if you have the same but dad doesent.

 

[vixxen]

Just wanted to add it is getting better to what it was like 11 years ago but still get some stupid comments!

 

[xolily]

i couldn't care less what people think, why do ignorant people matter? my kids have a different surname to both me and their dad.

 

[babydevil1989]

i have a different surname to my mum (i have her maiden name) and no one has ever said anything to me about it! im definately not a criminal

actually my mum has 4 kids with 3 different surnames and never has anyone said anything.

LO has a different surname to me, it doesnt bother me but me and OH will get married at some point and we will all have the same name x

 

[Redhead84]

I have to say that my wedding is being brought forward because we are expecting and I do not want a different surname to my LO, however that is my choice.

There is somewhat of a social stigma attached to it - not saying it's right or wrong, but it certainly exists.

 

[Angelicous]

When I was younger, ppl just assumed I had a different name to my daugher and used to ask "So.. er.. Mrs..? Miss...? uhm".

As I've got older (and you know.. more comfy looking), people assume I'm married and call me "Mrs"

I'm sure this means I've been/am being judged in some way. Oh well, it makes no difference to us lol

 

[Tasha]

I think it must depend on where you live, because here there is no social stigma at all.

 

[linley]

This is something that really bothered me when I was expecting. I'd never judge myself but I was really dreading being judged. And I didn't see why LO had to have OH's name purely because he's the dad. So we went with a double barrel (with my name first so if it's ever shortened, it's mine they use ) but I'm wishing I hadn't bent to the pressure now cause poor LO has to learn to spell his huge surname one day! Funny how we think times have changed so much and people are far more tolerant and traditional views have disappeared, but they really haven't.

 

[mum_erin]

Charlie and Ruby have my OH's surname and we're getting married in May so then I will have their surname too. it doesn't bother me

 

[charleosgirl]

Me and OH will be married one day, that is why she has her father's name. However when we go to appts and such to me hearing her have a different name than me hurts a little

 

[stepmum]

I think it must depend on where you live, because here there is no social stigma at all.

I agree

Here there is no stigma either, people just assume I'm not married to his dad..which I'm not I'm not viewed any different, we plan to marry at some point in the future. I respect its important for some but for me it's no biggy.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Thats a stupid opinion because some people go back to maiden names etc!

My 2 both have MY surname on their birth certificate but they are "known as" FOBs name at the school etc. Mind you school always call me Mrs Newman too :/