Dinner Time Stress

[monst_18]

Hello you lovely lot!

I need some help i am frustrated beyond belief. Brief history Alfie was born at 26 weeks and was 1lb 5oz- had breast milk for 3 months and has been on nutriprem 2 ever since. He is now 17 months actual - started weaning at 6 months actual, was a slow but sure procees, and has been hit and miss ever since. even milk has been an interesting journey - he just isn't that into food full stop!

Meal times are a contant stress to me and i range from it doesn't bother me ( to avoid the stress rubbing off on him) to crying with frustration!

Today for example

Breakfast - 4 spoons of ready break, a framage frais, a grape.
Lunch - we were out so i tried him with an Organix jar - he had 4-5 spoons then no more, so had a bit of apple and a couple of bit of satsuma, and a mini digestive. most of which he squished up!
Dinner - tried to give him the rest of the jar but he literally spat it out and shuddered! so he had a picky tea, bit of ham, olive, half a pear, and bit like that.

No he is happy to sit and feed himself picky things - he'll eat anything that way, but when i try and feed him with a spon he has none of it! That said when my mother in law feeds him he'll eat it all ( apparently!!)

He is still only 16lb 8oz - i guess he has been gaining 1lb a month- 6 weeks recently. We are under a dietician but she is a useless as a chocolate teapot!

so i suppose my question is weather i should be worried or not and is it ok for hm just to feed himself with picky things or if i should continue stressing us both out by trying to force feed meals!

any help and advice would be so greatfully recieved.

xxxxx

 

[Marleysgirl]

Hiya *waves*

Can we swap? Andrew will only eat textured food (stage 2 EK) from a spoon - he won't eat bits of food like Alfie, won't feed himself. He obviously thinks that if it doesn't come off a spoon, it's not food, it's a plaything instead - and a boring plaything at that.

Our dietitian is equally useless, btw. Andrew still gets most of his calories from his Infatrini, at least she's happy that he can stay on that.

I can only suggest that you try not to stress about it Stressing isn't going to make things better. Our little ones are only our little ones for a short period, why make that time any less happy than it can be?

 

[AP]

I agree, i dont have anything useful to add but dont stress!! I have hated mealtimes til recently, i was often in tears. As he grows and develops his interests will change. Alex hates touching pasta or bread dipped in soup, but im sure perseverance will work, it has with everything else.

Yet shes quite happy to fish out my cornflakes out of the milk....

Keep doing what you're doing, something will click!

 

[clairec81]

Eating probs too- you are not alone! Erin is 13 months and although is doing better now than before (had pda surgery at 11 1/2 months) is still reluctant with lumps. Will happily eat cubes of cheese but gags on porridge with tiny lump! I have found - not that this is great eating associations but - giving her things to distract her helps - watches, bowls, toys etc, she often forgets whats going on and eats, even if it gets a bit into him then offer finger foods? Funny i do things for her that i give my little boy rows for - poor wee soul. Other than that other things i've heard are, give her a spoon and let him try to feed herself while you shovel one or two in or let or let him help with food prep - supposedly makes them want to eat it - maybe not practical with a 17month old!!!
Let us know how you get on.

 

[bob2331]

i am so glad that its not just me who is going through this.

Harry was a 24 weeker, we started weaning at 5 months actual and it went really well, nice and easy, cleary a bit too easy!

He is now 9months actual (5 and a bit months corrected) and because we have introduced finger food snacks, he wont eat off a spoon!

It has gotten to the point, that tonight, rather then put his food in a bowl and fight with the spoon, we just put the food (beef cassole) straight on to the tray of his high chair and he ate it!!! we then gave him some chocolate buttons and again, he ate them but when i tried to give him a yoghurt, we was having no of it!

He weight gain isnt great at the best of times., he is now 13pound 8 and ahalf oz and am worried, the rate we are going, he is going to go to school weighing just over a stone!!!!

 

[25weeker]

I would let him eat finger food. Maybe have a look at the weaning section and get some ideas for finger foods from the parents who are following baby led weaning approach. When he learns how to use a spoon he will probably start eating more things from bowls as well.

I think kids like to take the p*** out of mum & dads my friends son will only eat a few things when he is at home but eats anything for the childminder!

 

[Foogirl]

Don't stress. Please don't stress. And don't try to force it.

We discovered (much too late) that if we don't force her and leave her to her own devices she not only eats more, but she eats different things.

Just like us, sometimes they are hungry, sometimes they aren't.

If you are really worried about weight gain, ask to see a dietitian and they can prescribe a supplement. And try to ensure what he does eat is balanced. I make massive pots of lentil soup with meat and veggies in it. That way I know that even if she only eats half a bowl, it is packed full of stuff. Load it up with olive oil for extra oomph. Stick some pureed fruit in the breakfast too. Same with finger foods. Try roasting some chicken strips or veggie weggies. That way you can be sure he's getting plenty of nutrients. Keep at him with the spoon every now and then and make sure he has one too. Sometimes Abby agrees to a "mummy do one, Abby do one" deal. Encourage him to hold it and help him a little if he needs to. You can also ask him to "feed mummy" with the spoon, turning it all into a game.

But to be honest, you would be surprised how much they can eat with their hands. Ignore the mess and let them get on with it.

 

[AP]

I think kids like to take the p*** out of mum & dads my friends son will only eat a few things when he is at home but eats anything for the childminder!

They do!!!
I have went through months of trying to get her to eat better, she ate the mince pie at Dona's at xmas when i wasnt looking and every tea time is a battle still....just not the same battle.....

.... to get her to eat her dinner and not move onto MINE afterwards

I do agree with Foo though, leaving them to their own devices seemed to be the trick for us, both with milk and with food. Alex wouldnt drink milk unless she was in charge of the bottle. She wouldnt eat finger foods unless she was left to try.

 

[Foogirl]

Claire's distraction tip is a great one too. At this age they're far too young to worry about bad habits or associations etc, any issue is easily enough corrected when they are older. If having him play with toy cars helps you get food into him, then do it. I doubt he'll still want toy cars on the table when he is 15. (although I'm sure if I asked my husband if he wanted toy cars on the table he'd be made up!!)

 

[Cazzyg]

Have you tried pre loaded spoons too? Charlotte never liked being fed so we had to let her go it alone from an early age. She'll also quite happily spurn the food on her plate and ask for mummy or daddy's even if it is the same thing.

With things like the ellas kitchen pouches, I took the top off and let her suck out the contents.

I know how hard it is - I've been there with no weight gain and worrying about them starving and not growing. But they won't starve themselves, if he is hungry he will eat. And sometimes little ones just don't feel very hungry, the same as us.

Try and look at food intake over a few days or a week rather than on a day by day basis and then, I certainly started to see a pattern with her eating well for a few days, then not. But over the longer period it all balanced out.