Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[NatoPMT]

my therapist specifically told me not to work with people with fertility issues, let alone people who pretend they have fertility issues

i didnt mean to sound quite as sanctimonious as that either!

 

[Sugarlove2]

You didn't come across as sanctimonious poppet.

Hearty, I hated my whole pregnancy and was an hysterical wreck through most of it. I also had an anterior placenta, so movement was often muffled.
Strangely enough, I'm far more relaxed now she's here. I really thought I would be obsessed with cot death, meningitis etc. Although I do worry about these things, I have surprised myself at how well I've kept these worries in check. Hopefully you will be like this too.

I've just eaten a Dominos pizza and am supping a glass of red. I feel even more like a lard arse!

 

[heart tree]

Nato, I agree, you don't sound sanctimonious!

Sugar, thanks for that reassurance. Luckily I have a posterior placenta so I feel every little thing. I could pick her up on the doppler at 10 weeks and have felt her since 16 weeks. Sometimes I wish her movements were a little more muffled! LOL! I'm scared for how hard the kicks are going to become very soon!

I was just writing on my PAL thread that I feel like I'll be a wreck as a mom too. SIDS terrifies me. I'm glad to hear that it's possible to be more calm once they are here. I hope that's the case for me. I'm very much looking forward to a glass of wine (or 3) again. I always said I would have a few glasses during pregnancy, but that was before all my losses. Now I can't bring myself to have a glass even though I really don't think it's a big deal. But I really do miss it!

 

[Sugarlove2]

You may well surprise yourself Hearty. Buy yourself a good monitor (I've got the Angel one) and have her in the room with you for the recommended time. It's still a very rare thing to happen.
I waited till 20 weeks to have wine, and then had 1 or 2 small glasses of wine a week. My Consultant said that was fine, but you do what you feel comfortable with.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

I recommend the angel monitor too, they're brilliant and I honestly think I'd have been a wreck without it! I keep pops in with us until 9 months but she definately sleeps a lot better in her own room!

I was kind of crazy of poppy for the first 5 months (pnd) but since that I've felt fine. Ok I still don't let her out my sight but the crazy thoughts have gone, thank god!x

 

[heart tree]

Thanks girls Sugar, it's so nice to have you back.

Sassy, do you think you'll be as protective with Milo?

 

[LucyJ]

Oh my god I go out for the day and miss loads

I'm loving all this talk of trying for number 2 I'd love another although the thought of being pregnant again is abit scary especially with a little one to look after. Theres a lady at little explorers a groups we go to who has a 10 month old and is pregnant again due in Nov Im so exicted for her. We might be in the paper a photographer for the local paper came to the group and took pitures typical that I'd gone out with no make up on

Sassy not long to go are you doing anything to encourage Milo along so sorry your in so much pain I hope its over for you soon and you dont have to go for an induction. Clever Poppy shes doing so well.

Hoping thats so cute about Penny and the avocado Benjamin does that especially when hes tired his worst was spag bol it ended up everywhere.

Nato Eloise is beautiful she would so get the main role of mary. I've got a picture of Benjamin like that at christmas doing his best nativity pose.

Allie sorry about the lack of sleep hope you have a better night.

Megg lovely to see you.

Amy Benjamin weigh 15lbs 20z at 8 months he always been little and is on the low end of the charts. My hv was shit in fact she didnt give a dame even though I was worried but I did see another hv by chance who was lovely (wish she was mine) and she told me to go by what he looked liked and how he was she said if hes happy contented, eating well having plenty of wet/dirty nappies and seem happy in himself then not to worry. She also said you know your baby best so you'd know if things werent right. Benjamins weight was very up and down he suffered from reflux which didnt help and its only since hes been on solids that his weight has stablised. He seems big to me as he was so little but next to other babies of the same age he looks little but thats just him hes only just going into 3-6 months clothes and they are big on him a lot of what he is wearing is still 0-3 months bless him. It sounds like Ela's doing really well just little.

 

[prgirl_cesca]

Hello ladies!!!

Loads to catch up on, so much i've forgotton already too.

I don't know of dawny but honestly nothing surprises me on the net. Hearty, your post touched me so much. It is completely true, why would anyone lie about something like recurrent losses for attention, you feel so isolated from everyone in real life. However, online you do get a lot of support and help online so I imagine that's why she did it. I am so open talking about my miscarriages online but IRL I don't really talk about them. Why anyone would lie about it though when it is the most traumatic thing ever...eurgh just makes me mad.

All this talk about second babies!! ARGH. God I don't know when i'll ever be ready for number 2. This motherhood thing hasn't come naturally to me like I thought it would and I just keep thinking if I am this stressed out with one how the hell will I cope with two?! Although I bumped into an acquaintance at a toddler group today, she has a proper chilled 5 month old girl and a really hyper 3 year old boy. She was convinced she'd not handle a second child but she said it's been so much easier than having one and thinks her daughter is so chilled because she is now.

 

[heart tree]

Note to self: If I want a chill child, I must be chill.

Repeat to self daily...

I must be chill.

 

[LucyJ]

Amanda I was farily crazy when he was first born but I have relaxed a bit well kind of he was in with us till 8 months and have found it hard him being in his own room at times but it is the best thing for him ( and us nice to have the bedroom back) but I still check on him regularly. I have found Ive become more confident and feel I trust my mummy instinct more. What has surprised me is I cope well if he has a fall or chokes on something as he did this morning little monkey pulled a magazine of a table and was munching on it while my back was turned then started to choke I got the hazard out asap and he was ok (note to self he can pull himself up on the furniture nothing is safe)

I had my first glass of wine on sunday night it was lovely

 

[Allie84]

Note to self: If I want a chill child, I must be chill.

Repeat to self daily...

I must be chill.

While I'm sure being chill certainly helps with both pregnancy and motherhood, I have to say that I wasn't a chill pregnant woman and Alistair is a very chill baby!

People say to me "Oh, you must be a super relaxed person to have such a relaxed baby" and it's like, um, no.

So miracles do happen!

Oh, Lucy, the choking on a magazine sounds scary! When you mean choking do you mean he wasn't even coughing? Glad he's okay and you were calm and level headed.

Hi, Cesca! When do you think you'll start trying for number 2? I reserve the right to change my mind come November! You know better than I do what it's like to have a toddler now that Luca's turned one. I'm a bit worried about the energy it will take to have two toddlers. I'm looking forward to watching Sassy do it....although if Poppy's any indication Sassy has abnormally easy babies!

 

[NatoPMT]

This your-child-is-chilled-if-you-are thing, a lot of people have said this to me, inc HV's and midwives, but i have never repeated it cos i am worried thats someone with a hyper baby will think im saying its their 'fault', when i don't know if it is, or if it can ever be someones 'fault' what personality their baby has. Is it generally considered to be true or is it somert people just say?

right, interrupting that chain of thought to ask if anyones having serious problems tonight on here? i am trying to read back to see what has been said and i keep getting logged out when i try and open page 2361

anyway Hearty, if i can be anything other than hysterical, you defo can. I had serious anxieties about SIDS but somehow it didnt translate into being an anxious mummy. Somehow, my need to be relaxed for my baby's sake has taken over, she's more important than my fears and tiny tiny chances of something happening - making sure i dont worry her by proxy has meant i have gone into an automatic chilled state which has been almost out of my conscious control.

For me that might be my need to undo my mother's influence and break her cycle as she is a bit hysterical and anxious and i dont want to repeat her behaviours

I have a friend with a mental older toddler and a very relaxed younger baby too

 

[heart tree]

The site changed URL's from babybump.com to babybump.momtastic.com and it's causing some problems. I keep getting kicked out too and have to log back it. I tried posting a response to Lucy's post and it didn't work. Let's see if this one does.

Thanks Nato and Allie! My brother is not chill at all and my mom is. My step-father was a very hyper active man. I think part of it is genetics. My brother was eventually diagnosed with ADHD. I think my husband has it too. Uh-oh! Might have a non-chill baby on my hands no matter what I do.

I hate it when this site isn't working properly. It's my life line! Especially while on bed rest!

 

[NatoPMT]

Nato Eloise is beautiful she would so get the main role of mary. I've got a picture of Benjamin like that at christmas doing his best nativity pose.

haha and Ben would so get the part of Joseph

Im sorry but cant reply specifically to stuff thats been posted cos i can read back on the thread for some reason

 

[vickyd]

Non chilled baby over here! As you all know i was a mental preggo and very non- chilled mama for the first 6 months. I have become quite chilled now that Hero is a toddler. She bumps her head 3 times a week, eats sand and dirt everyday, still cant eat non-pureed food without choking but i dont seem to panic anymore.
From what ive seen if one baby is chilled than your second is more high maintenance and vice versa. I chant this to myself everytime i say i couldnt possibly handle another baby lol!

Well ive been up since 7 and just now sat down so im off to bed.

 

[Allie84]

The site is wonky for me too. What is with this momtastic nonsense? Ever since the site became momtastic it's also become ad-tastic. I'm like you, Hearty, I freak out if I can't get the page to load hahaha.

 

[hoping:)]

Lucy- yay for your first glass of wine!

When pregnant I tried to be as relaxed as possible but I definitely had my moments and I remember at least 3 separate occasions when Tim had to calm me down because I was having panic attacks. Even with all of that Penny is a very chill baby. In the begining I was constantly worrying about her and was terrified of SIDS but once she reached 4 months I relaxed ALOT.

I'm having issues inserting smilies but that is all

 

[Allie84]

anyway Hearty, if i can be anything other than hysterical, you defo can. I had serious anxieties about SIDS but somehow it didnt translate into being an anxious mummy. Somehow, my need to be relaxed for my baby's sake has taken over, she's more important than my fears and tiny tiny chances of something happening - making sure i dont worry her by proxy has meant i have gone into an automatic chilled state which has been almost out of my conscious control.

For me that might be my need to undo my mother's influence and break her cycle as she is a bit hysterical and anxious and i dont want to repeat her behaviours

I like this. Gosh, I'm desperate not to repeat my own parent-child relationship. I'm already the opposite of my parents so I don't think it will happen, thankfully. I wonder if that's how I turned out so cautious, risk-averse and religious...my parents are total hippies with a 'screw it' approach to lifestyle choices, really the opposite of me, although I inherited their liberal politics. Hmmmm just musing out loud here really.

Anyways, I didn't worry about SIDS until I had that damn monitor a month ago and it keeps going off (still!!!) so I want to say "lucky you!" to Sassy and Sugar and others for whom it has worked, but would really caution against them....I know they've been mentioned again today. Oh, and Alistair's doctor told me yesterday that a patient of his died of SIDS a few months ago and told me the baby was about 4 months old, "close to Alistair's birth date" and it haunted me all day because I kept wondering if it was someone I was in lamaze with , or someone I saw at the hospital, or at my breast feeding group, etc. I really feel like I was a relaxed mom about SIDS until I put that monitor up. But maybe I shouldn't blame an object! My anxiety in general has surfaced in the past weeks.

 

[heart tree]

Oh yeah, I wanted to congratulate Lucy on her glass of wine! I can't wait!

Loving all the chill/non-chill stories. Vicky I was super chill and my brother wasn't. I happen to think it's because we have different fathers, and well, let's face it, I'm just better than my brother LOL! But maybe there is some truth to the one chill/one not chill child theory.

Allie, I can't see you repeating your own parent-child relationship. In part due to the fact that you don't have bi-polar. I think that must have played a huge part in the relationship. As for your doctor, that's just a lovely thing to tell someone! God! Maybe he could have waited to tell you that when Alistair was, oh, 20 years old!

Amber, Penny seems as chill as they come. I'll be so happy to get past the 4 month stage. Then I won't worry about SIDS as much. One thing at a time though. Let's just make it to 38 weeks!

 

[LucyJ]

I've been having problems with the site too keeps kicking me out.

Allie, he started of coughing but then was just making a weird noise, I'd left him on his mat playing while I popped upstairs to get something and could hear him coughing then this strange noise so I ran down the stairs and he was there on all fours sort of rocking and making this noise I picked him up smacked him on the back then he coughed and spluttered and up came whatever it was. Its happened a few times with food as Ive been trying to get him on lumpy food and taking finger foods problem with him is he sometimes shoves so much in his mouth he cant cope or tries to swollow something to big then it gets stuck & cant get it up hes quite often sick if he gets something stuck and needs helping bringing it up. Today was the scariest as I didnt know what it was.

Benjamin is a very calm contented baby people quite often comment on how happy he is. He's so quite when were out but so chatty when we are at home its like when we are out he's taking it all in.

I should be doing my personal statement for my job application ahhh but cant get my brain working ok must do some more of it.