Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Allie84]

Good job, Vicky!!! I can totally picture you crashing once you got home. Geez! Well done on making it through the day.

Jenny, so sorry about Paul.

I think we're moving Alistair's crib into our room tomorrow. He's just too big for his bassinet, I caught him stretching out and the poor little guy had his feet up on the end of the bassinet! :doh: Part of me wants him in his own room now, but a bigger part of me wants him to stay for now...at least until 6 months! He always wakes up for two feedings in the middle of the night so it's most practical he stays with us anyways.
Vicky, when did Hero move into her own room?
Lucy, I'm glad Benjamin did well last night! Hope it goes the same tonight.

 

[jenny25]

Aarron was in his own room from around 12 weeks if I remember correctly this is for. Almost 8 years his transition was pretty easy xxx


Thanks allie xxxx

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Glad the presentation went well vicky, great job.

I'm planning on moving milo out at 12 weeks, poppy slept in her own room at 9 months which was far too late in my opinion but we had no choice! Getting your bedroom back is amazing!

We had our 4d scan yesterday, baby is soooo far down in my pelvis, locked and ready to come so we couldn't get great photos but we see his face and omg he's the spit of poppy, same lips and nose and masses of hair

Happy Monday, hope you all have a great week, I have a mega hectic one coming up, new car, new house, 2 hospital appointments and I've decided to get Poppy's ears pierced, which I'm not actually looking forward to!x

 

[jenny25]

Ooo yay sassy are you going to upload photos xxx

 

[vickyd]

Good job, Vicky!!! I can totally picture you crashing once you got home. Geez! Well done on making it through the day.

Jenny, so sorry about Paul.

I think we're moving Alistair's crib into our room tomorrow. He's just too big for his bassinet, I caught him stretching out and the poor little guy had his feet up on the end of the bassinet! :doh: Part of me wants him in his own room now, but a bigger part of me wants him to stay for now...at least until 6 months! He always wakes up for two feedings in the middle of the night so it's most practical he stays with us anyways.
Vicky, when did Hero move into her own room?
Lucy, I'm glad Benjamin did well last night! Hope it goes the same tonight.

Hero is still sleeping in my room, right next to me!!!!!!

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Vicky - Does Hero still sleep in your room because she wakes so much or because your not ready to move her? If Poppy still woke so much I'd never have moved her out either.x

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Yes Jenny, I'll upload a pic and one of Poppy to compare.xx

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Advice please.

Me and Hubby had a bit of a falling out last night which left me really upset, cut a long story short he was angry at me for not letting his Mum have Poppy whilst we were going to the scan! She did ask and I said no, in-laws were going out for lunch with his nan and grandad and really wanted to take her and I just refused, if they were staying at home I would have left her but I didn't want them to take her out. Hubby kept asking me why, I told him I just didn't like her being away from me, I feel lost without her and she's my baby and I always want her with me, he said I was pathetic and that I was ruining Poppy and that she would become a clingly child! Also that I need to let her spend time with other people and stop being so selfish!

Grrrr, I cried then he felt bad! I'm now worried that my feelings are not normal, I'm so obsessed with my child and her health and well being, surely thats normal? But I have major fears that when I'm not there something will happen to her, I never let anyone else feed her as I worry she'll choke, I won't let anyone take her in the car cos I'm so scared they'll get in an accident, I don't let anyone dress her, change her nappy or anything, I feel sick at the thought of not being near her and something ever happening, does everyone feel this way?

It's so difficult for me, I just waited so long for her, she's so precious and all I ever want and need is her, I just don't know how to ease up and relax a little

I've told hubby and it's 100% true, I wouldn't care if he walked out on us, I have my baby and now nothing else really matters, how can I make our marriage work if that's how I feel, god I am pathetic, he's right!

 

[vickyd]

Sass I think you answered your own question. You went through so much to have her that the thought of being away from her creates all these feelings. I think to a point these feelings are justified but I also think that the only way to overcome these anxieties is to allow yourself to be away from her every now and then. You dont have to start by letting her in in the car with your inlaws obviously! Let her go out for a small walk or to the park and work from there. The thing is with baby number two arriving shortly you will have to be able to let someone care for Poppi every now and then. Maybe you should start practicing now before Milo arrives. Im sure Danny nderstands how strong your bond with Poppy is but maybe he also wants to be able to spend time with you alone as a couple and feels like he will never be able to that again. I dont know....

Hero is with me cause im so unorganised that i still have no second bedroom ready for her. Plus the fact that she wakes up several times a night doesnt make the move seem all the urgent.

 

[jenny25]

Sassy I agree with vicky I was very much like that when aarron was little I'd hate him being wwy from me and I think I was so over protective was due to being pal he was my jest rainbow it's normal too feel like that Hun don't be hard in yourself hubby should be more supportive xxx

 

[Round2]

Awe Sassy, I totally know how you feel. I'm like that still. I swear all the other mom's on our street snicker at me because I still won't let Maddy play outside without my constant attention.

It will get easeir though, I promise. Soon, you'll have no choice but to let others care for her. One day you'll be sending her off to daycare or school. At first you go a little crazy, but then you'll learn to relax and learn that it's good for her to be exposed to others as well.

 

[LucyJ]

Amanda the advice here is to keep them in the same room untill 6 months Benjamin room was ready for him and he was still getti g up regularly during the night for feeds so it was easier to have him in with us as I could just scope him up feed him and put him down again. He's still not sleeping through but we wondered whether it was us waking him but he still needs his night feeds night 2 was a bit rougher but not bad and I think it was the time to move him. I was ready before now.

Vicky well done glad it went well hope you had a better night.

Sassy you are not pathetic I think its normal what your feeling especially with what you've been through being PAL does have an impact on everything I think but I agree with Vicky it might be good for you to start leaving her a little bit now to get you ready before milo arrives, do it a bit at a time so your comfortable. I havent left Benjamin yet apart from his dad taking him out for an hr or so so I can get ironing done or have a bath hes with me the whole time. The thought of leaving him really worries me but I know I'll have to start doing it soon especially as at some point Im going to have to go back to work and put him in nursery. My mum's coming to stay in a few weeks and shes going to have him so steve and I can go out we will literally be down the road its scary but I know I need to do it having said that I dont think I would be able to leave him with anyone other than my mum at the moment.

 

[Megg33k]

I agree with Vicky... It's going to take baby-steps to change how you feel. I have a friend who is every bit as neurotic about leaving her baby, but she's forcing herself to do it every once in a while and it's hard.

The feelings are normal considering the circumstances of getting her... It's totally understandable. I hope you don't take "neurotic" as an insult. It's not meant that. I'm neurotic about a lot of things too! LOL

 

[Jaymes]

Vick good luck with your speech! I hate stuff like that too. I get so nervous. At least you don't have to give it in Spanish!

You girls are hilarious. You would totally pass the parent test! Unless you are secret crack addicts!

Am I delusional in thinking I'm moving my baby out of my room by 6 months at the latest? You girls make it sound so hard. Except for Rounders! She evicted that baby super quick! LOL! I have a feeling I'll be more like that. Or at least my husband will be.

I moved my first out at about 1 week... He was so squirmy and noisy that I couldn't sleep so I decided for everyone's mental health it was best. He slept through starting about 8 weeks and gained rapidly, so there was no worries there. Lex stayed with us the longest, but that was because we needed her bed for my nephew and sister who came to visit about a month after she was born. I think she was about 1.5 months. I never had a problem going and sleep rocking while feeding in her room.

Glad the presentation went well vicky, great job.

I'm planning on moving milo out at 12 weeks, poppy slept in her own room at 9 months which was far too late in my opinion but we had no choice! Getting your bedroom back is amazing!

We had our 4d scan yesterday, baby is soooo far down in my pelvis, locked and ready to come so we couldn't get great photos but we see his face and omg he's the spit of poppy, same lips and nose and masses of hair

Happy Monday, hope you all have a great week, I have a mega hectic one coming up, new car, new house, 2 hospital appointments and I've decided to get Poppy's ears pierced, which I'm not actually looking forward to!x

We got our girls done after thier first tetanus shot, if you can get them done at the same time, 2 girls 2 guns, then give her a bottle after (you do bottle feed right?) loads of cuddles and a comfort feed after is helpful.

Sassy I agree with vicky I was very much like that when aarron was little I'd hate him being wwy from me and I think I was so over protective was due to being pal he was my jest rainbow it's normal too feel like that Hun don't be hard in yourself hubby should be more supportive xxx

Umm, I never left Chris with sitters until after Bee was born... So he was 2 (not including G-ma while I was having Bee). Then it clicked that she may not do it the same way as me, but he lived and was fine and happy! I still get nervous when I hear sirens or see an ambulance go in the general direction they may be in... If I forget my phone it is full on panic mode all day thinking they may be trying to get a hold of me.

 

[Sparkly]

Jen - I'm so sorry about Paul hun

Vicky - OMFG @ the park woman!! WTF is wrong with some people??

Sass - Honestly the way you are with Poppy is completely normal. When I had Ben I hated other people even holding him, and never let him out of my sight. He had turned 1 before I ever left him and had a night out, and even then I made sure that he was asleep and not aware that I wasn't there. We still have a good relationship to this day.

 

[hoping:)]

Jen- so sorry to hear about Paul. Congratulations on team blue!!!

Megg- 100%

Vicky- that is shocking!!! So basically she was saying SIDS is pretty much baby suicide?! Horrible! You are amazingly talented to give an awesome speech with only 2 hours of sleep! I dread presentations even on a full night’s sleep

Lucy- that story about the little boy is heartbreaking. I would have wanted to take him home as well. I’m glad Ben’s first night went well. Penny’s first night (she was about 4 months) was nerve wracking for us but it gets easier. Tim even slept on her nursery floor but she did awesome and has been in her own room ever since. Sometimes we will bring her into our bed early in the morning. When she wakes up in our bed she looks at us with wide puzzled eyes as if to say “ Mom! What are you doing in my bed?!”

Sassy- good luck with all of the upcoming changes. I agree with what Vicky said. It is hard not to be overprotective once you finally get your baby after being through so much. I knew that it would be rough and I would want to be over protective so I’ve tried really hard to share my baby with other people that love her so that she is well rounded but some days it is difficult and I worry about her… it gets easier though! SIDS was the thing I worried about the most but as Penny gets older I have lightened up a little. Penny loves meeting new people and is fascinated when we take her anywhere out of the ordinary. We have lots of close family and friends who are always volunteering to watch Penny. It’s a win win because Tim and I get our alone time and she gets to hang out with other people who love her. My relationship with my husband is very important to me so I try to make a huge effort and set aside time for just the two of us. Maybe you could just start out small and have Poppy’s grandparents watch her at your house while you and the hubby go out for a nice dinner or even for a walk. You are not alone in how you feel I hope it gets a little easier for you!


Our weekend was so much fun. Penny was a little weary when we first put her in the hot springs (one of the lowest temps- they had about 10 pools that ranged from 85 degrees to 111) but after a while she was happily splashing and kicking her feet Her grandpa hung out with her for a while so Tim and I could explore the other pools. The place we stayed at was amazingly beautiful. It was a million dollar house in the mountains with a downstairs apartment that we got all to ourselves

I came back to work today to find out that I won the Ipad for my presentation It has been a good day

 

[Allie84]

Well done Hoping!!! Sounds like a fantastic weekend as well.

I'm thinking we will try to move Alistair into his nursery at 6 months. Now that we've moved his crib into our room his nursery looks pathetic and like a storage room. You have all made me think it might be nice to have our room back...maybe then Alex and I will have sex again, hahahaha. And I can read in bed again, and maybe Alistair will sleep better without us in the room. But as Hoping mentioned, my big worry is SIDS, and they (whoever they are) suggest that you keep baby in your room to reduce the incidence of SIDS. I also keep a fan on and am neurotic about the temperature of the room for this reason as well. I'd say I worry more about SIDS than I do leaving Alistair with people. That said, he's only ever been left with Alex, my cousin and his paternal grandmother and I thought about him the whole time I was away from him lol. But I agree with Hoping about relationships with OH being important and I can tell my relationship with Alex has kind of been relegated to 2nd place as we seem to spend much more time and energy with Alistair than on eachother.

 

[hoping:)]

thanks!

It is nice to not have a baby kicking you in the ribs and tugging on your face while you sleep Another bonus is the sex... before we used to have to sneak into the hallway or the nearest part of the house I started to worry less about SIDS once Penny was over 4 months. I read that the high risk time is between 1 month & 4 months.

 

[vickyd]

God the SIDS fear....This is one reason that i wouldnt want to have another baby. I was worried about SIDS for the whole first year! I read and re-read every fucking article i could get my hands on and ended up being even more scared and confused in the end. So bumpers are a no no but its ok to let your baby sleep in a moses basket which is essentially a crib with bumpers??!!! Give a dummy, Hero hates dummies, do this do that AWWW!!! When Hero was hospitalised with the choking incident at 1 month old we were sharing a room with a woman and her 3 month old who was in for a similar reason. She would wrap her baby in two blankets to a point where you couldnt see her head! The nurses and doctors would see this but never say anything. Im not the kind of person who would ever say anything to another mother about her choices so one day I asked the resident doctor in private about the dangers of the baby being so bundled up. The doctor looked at me kinda funny and said SIDS and suffocation are different things and that as long as the mother is awake and watching her baby it isnt dangerous SIDS wise. SIDS is totally unexplainable and the giudlines are stretched to make sure that parents are more alert to accidents and other stuff.

So we finally catch a break and a flat opens up near my parents at a resonable price, we went to see it this evening and it was pretty nice. At the end of the interview i tell the owner that we have a dog and he rejected us. This has never happened to us in the past...I didnt see this coming and now im stressed that we will be rejected again in the future hence making the finding a place near the rents even harder.

 

[heart tree]

All the worries I have to look forward to! Will I let my baby out of my sight? Will I keep her in my room for 3 years for fear of SIDS? Oh god, I'm going to be a bigger mess than I already am. But the lesson I'm learning from you all is that all reactions are normal.

Vicky what's a dummy?

That sucks you got rejected. Damn! Can you lie next time? Don't mention the dog? That's probably not the best thing to do, but it's similar here. Not many landlords want dogs. It's why I don't have one now. We're not allowed to have one.

I had my scan yesterday and my cervix hasn't improved but hasn't gotten worse either. A full update is in my journal if feel like reading. As a precaution I'm on bed rest for another 2 weeks until my next scan. But it's going to be a big more modified and I'm going to incorporate small walks into my daily routine.

Here are some pics of her face. She's starting to look like a real human now. They did a lot of 4D so I got to watch her move a lot. She's quite active! I love those little lips. I can't wait to kiss them.

Spoiler

https://i1234.photobucket.com/albums/ff419/ahartrey/baby%20bump/446e0280.jpg

https://i1234.photobucket.com/albums/ff419/ahartrey/baby%20bump/ee9e193b.jpg