Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[LucyJ]

Nato my excema isnt as bad as it was with Benjamin and has been much better untill I got this cold then it flared up badly. The worst thing is my face as its so dry and flaky And sore it feels like Im being constantly stabbed my millons of tiny needles plus it feels like its burning, cant seem to get any moisture into my normal creams makeit burn so using the emolient from the dr. Thinking of trying to do a patch test with olive oil see if that helps. I ate better yesterday but have struggled today trying to eat little and often my diets not very healthy at the moment but to be honest Im just trying to geting anything in me.

I did drink in the tww I think like hearty said its ok but for me I wouldnt take the risk. I stop drinking all together when we were trying and made the decision after suffering my 2nd loss not to start again I was worried that I might start using it as a way to numb the pain figured it would be easy to just drink so apart from the odd glass of wine here and there I didnt drink. I didnt drink when I was bf either and now Id be a very cheap date a glass or two and Id probably being in corner asleep

 

[NatoPMT]

I had a lot of people tell me how I was creating a rod for mine own back as I let him sleep with me nap on me etc. I was told that by letting him sleep with us/on me (as he use to when he was tiny) I would create a clingy baby who was dependent on me wouldnt go to other people which is the exact opposite I have a very confident happy little boy who doesnt cling to me I sometimes think he doesnt notice when I go
.........

Sometimes I worry that he sleeps with us to much and worry that its becoming a habit as I know he can sleep through and self settle (so when he doesnt theres something wrong I think). With number 2 on the way it I worry what we will do as our bed isnt big enough for us, him a baby and not forgetting mickey mouse for a small cuddly toy he takes up a lot of room!!

Don't believe the anti-hype Luce (although it sounds like you dont and that Ben has proved it wrong anyway!). The whole point of attachment parenting is to help your baby feel secure enough (to do exactly what Benjamin does) when they are ready. So sleeping on you doesn't make a habit, the theory is that it creates a baby who is happy to try what they want to when they want to, and eventually grow up feeling secure to detach when they are ready. If he self settles before getting upset then fantastic, if he starts to whimper and you 'give in' (translation: do what you feel is right) then thats what he needed there and then and you have met his needs.

Of course it is only theory, but I'm sure Mickey Mouse feels very secure too

I think for me, I grew up feeling so insecure, I was frightened all the time, I lived in the scariest house EVER (it had inverted crosses in stained glass windows, there was straw crosses nailed to every internal door when we moved in, Blair Witch Stylee) and my mum didnt give a hoot and constantly threatened to send me to the children's home and the dogs to the glue factory. I just don't want Eloise to ever feel any fraction of how I felt.

Nato my excema isnt as bad as it was with Benjamin and has been much better untill I got this cold then it flared up badly. The worst thing is my face as its so dry and flaky And sore it feels like Im being constantly stabbed my millons of tiny needles plus it feels like its burning, cant seem to get any moisture into my normal creams makeit burn so using the emolient from the dr. Thinking of trying to do a patch test with olive oil see if that helps. I ate better yesterday but have struggled today trying to eat little and often my diets not very healthy at the moment but to be honest Im just trying to geting anything in me.

I did drink in the tww I think like hearty said its ok but for me I wouldnt take the risk. I stop drinking all together when we were trying and made the decision after suffering my 2nd loss not to start again I was worried that I might start using it as a way to numb the pain figured it would be easy to just drink so apart from the odd glass of wine here and there I didnt drink. I didnt drink when I was bf either and now Id be a very cheap date a glass or two and Id probably being in corner asleep

ouch, that sounds massively crappy. I really hope when the cold goes the eczema will calm too.

I don't normally drink at all. Not even a glass of wine on a Friday night with a meal. Its just I have this reunion and I will be seeing people I haven't seen for 21 years so I will be nervous and they are all going on an all day bender. I wont be doing that obvs, but I think i will have a couple in the evening, even half a drink is enough to get me tiddly

 

[heart tree]

Thank you all so much for your replies! Very helpful. I definitely don't have an issue with co-sleeping. She always goes down very easily between 7 - 8pm. But lately she's been waking up around 10pm. Tim tried to settle her the other night so I could sleep, but she wouldn't have it. She ended up in bed with me and Tim slept on the couch. She slept for 5 hours straight until she was ready to nurse. I will let her cry a little, but I have a difficult time with it. I can tell when she is crying but still sleeping and when she really needs something. I won't ignore her cries when she really needs something. I've realized that I think she still needs to nurse. At 10pm she definitely doesn't. But after that, I feed her. Last night she cried at 10pm, but then settled herself quickly before I went to her. Then she was up at 12:45am and I nursed her and put her back down. Then she was up at 4:15am to nurse again. Then up at 7am for the morning. It's hard, but I can deal with that schedule. Our bed is generally too small for all 3 of us. I don't get sleep when we are all in bed together. If she cried after I nursed her, I would bring her into bed with me. But she always goes right back to sleep after I nurse her and never cries. That tells me that the reason she is waking is because she is hungry. I read that they outgrow that around 9 months. She's 8 months today, but her adjusted age isn't quite 7 months.

I'm not sure CIO is for us. Just wondering how other people were coping.

Gibs, Tim's cousin hired a sleep consultant for $500. That consultant told them to do exactly what you did. She said that the baby can be mad, but not scared. So she had the parents sit in the room while the baby cried. You just saved yourself $500!

I don't think there is such a thing as spoiling a baby. I get tired sometimes by giving her so much of me. I carry her everywhere and talk to her all the time. But at the same time, I love that she looks to me for comfort.

Nato, thanks for the article. I'm off to make myself some lunch and sit down and read it while she naps. And for the record, I'm all in favor of you having a little wine!

 

[NatoPMT]

I remember saying to John once when he got home that i had effectively just been talking to myself all day. It's emotionally quite hard work to do that, let alone without sleep. I have a king sized bed which makes all the difference if you have room and John puts a bolster between him and Eloise to stop her headbutting him in the middle of the night. Sometimes I open my eyes and Eloise's face is right in front of mine, smiling at me. I defo get something from it too.

Can you get a bednest? an extra bit of cot that slots onto the side of the bed so she has her bit of space..not sure if this is the best but its NCT so prob pretty good

https://www.nctshop.co.uk/NCT-Bednest-Bedside-Crib/productinfo/4364/

I know a few people who have hired sleep consultants, they must all operate under different theories as one parent I know who did that is very much a believer attached parenting but her son was ill. The other was just desperate and tried everything she could.

Sorry I cant offer any more on the specifics of your night...I didnt bf and Eloise just fell into her routine, I did nothing to train her. Literally nothing. She just slept through but was early doing it as she was bottle fed.

Thats the other option, not sure if you have introduced any formula but it might help, although I know if I could have bf then i wouldn't have wanted to introduce formula, but I don't know what its like to still not be sleeping at 8 months old. Then again, it might not help and you might regret it.

 

[LucyJ]

Nato I say have a couple glasses of wine it wont do any harm hope you have a great time at your reunion.

I agree with you. I remember a HV telling me all that (others has mentioned it too) she made me feel really bad about the decisions I was making for Benjamin it didnt last long as I soon realised he was my baby and I was going to do what I felt was right. I also felt that as he was a little early he needed that extra time and security of being with me (whether thats right or not I dont know but I have a gorgoeus little boy who will chat away to anyone and I always get comments about what a happy soul he is I like to think thats down to me as a mum and steve as a dad).

Hearty reading that about Delilah nursing has triggered a thought in my head and Benjamin sleeping through at 9 months coinsided with him dropping his feeds, at 8 months he was still feeding once or twice through the night and several times during the day then all of a sudden he naturally starting dropping them so by 9 and half months he was on just a morning and evening feed. He also starting eating more solild food during the day.

 

[Sugarlove2]

Hearty, I should add that from about 3 weeks old, I started giving Charlotte a bottle of formula on a night as I was struggling so much with BF and pain. I think it certainly helped fill her up and keep her going through the night, but like Nato said, you may not want to introduce formula.

 

[vickyd]

Sugar Hero had broncholitis, didnt have the laboured breathing but just a massive cough at night and a recurrant fever. At first they said it would run its course but after a month of relapses they did an x-ray and saw some fluid so they gave us a course of antibiotics. Thankfully its been 3 weeks since and no cough.

 

[heart tree]

Nato, we had a "bednest." It's called a co-sleeper here. She slept in it until she was almost 7 months. We just transitioned her into her own room and her crib. She was getting really restless in it. I think it was getting too small for her. I wish we had a king size. Ours is a queen and Tim isn't small. I would definitely do more co-sleeping if we had a bigger bed.

Yes, we've given her formula. We used to give her a bottle before bed but now we're giving her solids and I nurse her. The formula never seemed to get her to sleep through. Though maybe I'll try again. The only thing is that if we give her a bottle, then I have to pump in order to keep up my supply and I hate pumping. I'll try it tonight though.

Lucy, that's encouraging to hear about Ben. I think Delilah is still hungry at night. She's so petite and I think she's trying to catch up. At 8 months, she's only 15 lbs. She has tripled her weight since birth, but she's small. I can't fault her for being hungry and I want to make sure she gets what she needs. Thanks for the encouragement.

Sugar, I hope Charlotte feels better. Is she on antibiotics?

Girls, when you introduced solids, how often did you give them and when? The way I'm doing it now is 3 times a day spaced in between breastfeeding. I feel like I'm constantly feeding her! How did you all do it?

 

[msarkozi]

Sorry girls, it was just after 9:30pm when I got home Friday night, and then I have been busy since. Kash had a birthday party to go to yesterday, and then his birthday party today.

SO! the baby was pretty much folded in half, and legs tucked under and crossed. The tech said at one point that she thought it might be a boy, but she didn't know if that was the umbilical cord or not. She wasn't very friendly. We are team yellow leaning to blue I guess you could say, and we will find out for sure on March 28th when I go for a 3d scan (and baby sure better be playing nice then!!). This is torture to have to wait another month!

Kash's party was great today. It was a construction themed party, and his cake was amazing (I had one made). I had the kids make their own pizzas for lunch and they LOVED it! The parents all thought it was an awesome idea as well and it's not something they have thought of doing, but would now for sure. Kash got spoiled of course from his friends. He definitely did not get his unwrapping abilities from me; he would rip off a little piece and then hand it to me, instead of just tossing it lol! He is a little slow to unwrap, but he thanked his friend after each present he unwrapped. He was SO happy when he seen the buzz lightyear we got him. We also bought him a tank and goldfish for his birthday. He was a happy boy.

I am leaving him for the first time in 2 years tomorrow, and I am very unsure about it. I feel happy to have some time on my own and go see movies and what not, but I am very sad that I can't wake him in the morning, or tuck him into bed at night.....I could just cry.

Hearty, I think I just fed solids once a day in the beginning. Then once I knew the food was ok and no allergies, then I added in a couple meals, and then later changed it to 3. And I would give cereal before bed.

It wasn't until about 8 months when Kash started sleeping through the night, and then around 10 months he started waking again, and then he eventually went back to sleeping again. It seems to go through periods where it happens, but when it does, I generally know that something is up - teething, sick, etc.

I did CIO with Kash, but it took 2 days I believe and he barely cried. I try not to co-sleep much at all, because then I find he wakes in the middle of the night wanting to be in our bed. It's just not a habit I want to get into with him (especially since one of my friends has done it a lot, and her daughter is 3 and still has sleep issues that she can't break her of). Everyone has their own preference though, but it's not for me.

 

[LucyJ]

Really quick one as Im tearing round the house like a crazy women doing last min packing as Benjamin and I are going home with my parents today for a week steves coming to get us at the weekend. We've got our scan today at 8:15am little nervous if Im honest but praying all will be ok having cramps last night didnt help

Mel glad Kash had a good birthday sorry baby to play nice hopfully march you'll get a definite answer.

Amanda havent got time to respond to you about solids but will later.

V waned to wish you good luck for your scan today will be thinking of you.

to everyone hope you have a good day.

 

[vickyd]

Hearty when we introduced solids we started off with rice cereal once a day for a week, then we added apple and pear puree and after 10 days we added a proper lunch of chicken or beef with vegetables. She would only eat a few spoon fulls though, so she was getting a bottle almost like before. She started dropping botttles 3 weeks after the weaning started. She was still drinking too much milk, and after our paed voiced his concerns over her weight (80th centile) we were giving her water instead of milk. It was really tiring and yes it felt like we were feeding her all the time lol!!

Luce good lucj with the scan!!!

Mel the first time i left Hero was when she was 5 months old and i went to China on buisness. It was hard and I cried a few nights, but at the same time it felt good to be on my own again. I have left her anothe 3 times since for buisness trips and once to go to UK for a wedding. It gets easier each time.

 

[Sparkly]

Good luck to Lucy and Ginny for your scans today

 

[VGibs]

Thanks...I'm more nervous about having to have a full bladder and not peeing my pants LOL

 

[NatoPMT]

Cant wait to hear scanning news! Good luck both

Mel: Hope Kash had a lovely birthday. Boo at lack of winkie / fufu news

Yes, we've given her formula. We used to give her a bottle before bed but now we're giving her solids and I nurse her. The formula never seemed to get her to sleep through. Though maybe I'll try again. The only thing is that if we give her a bottle, then I have to pump in order to keep up my supply and I hate pumping. I'll try it tonight though.

Lucy, that's encouraging to hear about Ben. I think Delilah is still hungry at night. She's so petite and I think she's trying to catch up. At 8 months, she's only 15 lbs. She has tripled her weight since birth, but she's small. I can't fault her for being hungry and I want to make sure she gets what she needs. Thanks for the encouragement.

Sugar, I hope Charlotte feels better. Is she on antibiotics?

Girls, when you introduced solids, how often did you give them and when? The way I'm doing it now is 3 times a day spaced in between breastfeeding. I feel like I'm constantly feeding her! How did you all do it?

Come to think of it, I think I remember reading that solids dont make a difference to sleeping through, but its the baby's weight that matters...although that cant be strictly true as the 1st time eloise slept through she was 5 weeks old. I think there must be some truth in it albeit with a margin of error and a margin for personality etc. If she's little then that might be why and all the sleep training in the world wont necessarily help until she's bigger. That said, introducing solids does make them put weight on so that might be why solids are usually linked to sleeping through

I gave solids 3 times a day directly after milk - like Vic is was only a spoon or two at a time to start with. Milk is supposed to be the primary source of nutrition until 1 year old so up till 1 year they are just practising eating (sorry if you know all this) and if you space it out between milk, it might reduce her appetite for milk.

I gave fruit and vegetables 1st, i tried baby cereals but i just didnt know what to do with them. I gave weezie mashed bananas, pureed prunes, mashed avocado, mashed raspberries, stewed apples, mashed cooked carrots, anything soft i could squidge up basically. Making me nostalgic.

Had a lovely morning with my weasel until i noticed the fucking squirrels had dug up my crocuses and eaten the bulbs. Squirrels are on my shit list.

 

[VGibs]

I have SIX squirrels living in my porch eaves. They drive me insane and throw walnut shells at me when I leave the house. I have it out for those buggers.

 

[Round2]

Hearty, I love that your baby is the same age as mine! I'm struggling with the exact same issues - which proves to me that they aren't really abnormal issues, just crap that mom's have to deal with!!

We did CIO with Maddy and it worked like a charm. She was 8 months old, cried alot the first night then settled into a nice routine after that. She's been a great sleeper ever since.

Bryce on the other hand is the opposite. We tried CIO a few weeks ago, he slept the first night and his gotten worse every night since! Last night he was up at 10:00, 12:00, 2:00, 4:00, 5:30 and for good at 6:30. I tried letting him cry at 10:00 and he kept falling asleep then waking again, which made me think he really was hungry as he could put himself to sleep, but obviously was uncomfortable. I feed him and he went back down for another hour. The rest of the night, I just gave up and fed him each time he woke.

I really think he needs food too. He's above the 100th percentile for height but only in the 30th percentile for weight. For a boy his height, I think he really should weigh more and is waking because he's so hungry. Sometimes I know he's waking just to be cuddled, but most of the time he does feed for a good 10 minutes at least.

As for solids, I'm feeding him about twice a day. He has cereal and pureed fruit in the morning and around super time I've been giving him more cereal, some veggies and just this week I've started him on little peices of bread and rice husks as he's really interested in feeding himself.

I give him one bottle of formula in the evening, a few weeks ago it seemed to keep him happy till midnight or so...but the last few nights he's waking at around 10 pm.

Co-sleeping is not for me. I barely slept a wink the entire time my kids were in the crib at the end of my bed. I tend to wake at every movement and spend the whole time worrying over every sound. If I was a better sleeper myself and less panicky, I'd love the idea of sharing my bed with my kids.

So I really have no advice, just sharing the pain with you!

 

[Round2]

BTW - Good luck with scans today girls. Can't wait to hear all the happy news!

 

[LucyJ]

Great news from my scan baby is doing really well measuring 11 weeks and 2 days which is bang on. We have a real little wiggler baby was moving loads even doing somersaults, so relieved that all is okay and baby is doing well.

Benjamin came in with us and loved it he was as good as gold when he saw the screen he said buba.

My 12 week scan is on the 7th March.

 

[Round2]

Yayyyyyyy!! Great news Lucy.

Oh boy, you're gonna have your hands full soon!! Get some rest now....

 

[vickyd]

Great news Luce!!!