do people really have problem with women bf.

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw painted pony thats awful it is true that whatever parenting choice you make there is someone somewhere that not only disagrees but goes out of their way to either compete about how their way is better or how your way is wrong

i'm sorry you have been treated so incredibly badly over ff

 

[soph77]

Australia is very pro breastfeeding. I often get people coming up to me congratulation me for nip or saying how lovely it is to see a mother bfing.

 

[painted_pony]

aw painted pony thats awful it is true that whatever parenting choice you make there is someone somewhere that not only disagrees but goes out of their way to either compete about how their way is better or how your way is wrong

i'm sorry you have been treated so incredibly badly over ff

I know BF is best, that it requires dedication and it has so many benefits....I feel horrible that no matter what I tried, I just couldn't produce enough milk for my son. He was basically starving so I had to switch to formula. Do I feel bad because my son won't have those benefits? Hell yes I do, BUT....he started gaining all his lost weight back when he started formula and was a lot happier. To me, that's the best thing I could have done for him in that situation. I may have failed him in one way, but I didn't fail him entirely. People shouldnt be judged no matter which way they decide to feed, the important part is that the Baby is being fed and thriving.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Australia is very pro breastfeeding. I often get people coming up to me congratulation me for nip or saying how lovely it is to see a mother bfing.

I think that's awesome. I loved visiting Australia when I was 16. It seemed like such a down to earth country

 

[LeeLouClare]

aw painted pony thats awful it is true that whatever parenting choice you make there is someone somewhere that not only disagrees but goes out of their way to either compete about how their way is better or how your way is wrong

i'm sorry you have been treated so incredibly badly over ff

I know BF is best, that it requires dedication and it has so many benefits....I feel horrible that no matter what I tried, I just couldn't produce enough milk for my son. He was basically starving so I had to switch to formula. Do I feel bad because my son won't have those benefits? Hell yes I do, BUT....he started gaining all his lost weight back when he started formula and was a lot happier. To me, that's the best thing I could have done for him in that situation. I may have failed him in one way, but I didn't fail him entirely. People shouldnt be judged no matter which way they decide to feed, the important part is that the Baby is being fed and thriving.

the same happened with me - you haven't failed him at all

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I would never begrudge a mother for trying to BF and being unable (for what ever reason).

 

[beth_terri]

I sometimes wonder if people THINK they are being given evils for breast feeding in public when actually people just notice, stare for a sec before realising?? However it was in my local paper a while ago about a cafe manager from our area asking a woman to stop breast feeding because a customer complained!

 

[Lauki]

I'ven ever heard anything negative in real life. It's mostly media and forums and the interwebs .

 

[BattyNora]

I don't think I 'mistook' a man staring at me with a face like thunder for a good few minutes in a Costa, before the person he was with came back and he simply said 'that's so disrespectful'. It was my only real issue with BFing - apart from family.

BUT..I mentioned on another thread that I actually got more 'bad looks' and snidy comments when I moved on to FF (some from local BFing mum's at baby group, some from OH family, a couple when out). I'm semi-young and I overheard one woman saying to her friends 'another young mum who didn't bother breastfeeding' (bear in mind LO was 6 months and I'd gone through hell with BFing up to then).

So...basically, it depends on where you are, what you're feeling about what you're doing and how much attention you pay to others.

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

exactly pponny! i ff my first, he was in hospital for the first two weeks of his life, i was too distraught to pump enough to build a supply and then obviously when we got him home new mummy i just couldnt keep up with the pumping etc plus he preferred the bottle. even now i still feel like i have to give the reason behind why i ff him. i did feel judged for doing it i just had a feeling that people were being like gah could have tried to bf at least! when i knew i had tried but the circumstances meant that i hadnt established a supply. my boy was 11.6 at birth, the mite needed a lot of milk he was on 5onz 8 times a day at 2 weeks old lol!

i had someone say to me huh so you didnt give birth to your child (emergency (an actual my baby could have died) c section) and now you arent feeding it either hmmmmm well done you. well now i have vbac and am bfing that same person is like oh why didnt you just get another c section, ohh your still bfing why not bottle.... you can literally be damned if you do damned if you dont with some people.

its just horrible that even though we shouldnt let anyone make us feel bad about whatever parenting choice we make its hard not to get upset about it. especially feeding choices, being branded digusting etc for bfing is just so horrific but also being made to feel second rate and a failure for ffing was just as upsetting

 

[Randianne]

I had a friend tell me in all seriousness that breastfeeding has no place in modern society. He seemed to think that formula was invented so that guys don't have to share their partner's boobs. It's insane that breasts are so sexualized that this type of thinking exists!

 

[mlyn26]

I think people find it embarrassing.
I am going to a wedding in Dec and hope to breastfeed. I asked if the baby could come and the bride said yeah and then added, 'you can use the room we have allocated to freshen up in/store our bags to feed in.' She was just being nice but what's wrong with discreetly feeding at my table? Will I make others feel uncomfortable? I may not even be able to do it but if I can I don't want to have to leave the room to do it!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I had a friend tell me in all seriousness that breastfeeding has no place in modern society. He seemed to think that formula was invented so that guys don't have to share their partner's boobs. It's insane that breasts are so sexualized that this type of thinking exists!

My BIL said that he wouldn't let his fiancee BF cause it would ruin his fun bags. She was sitting right there too

 

[Lauki]

I think people find it embarrassing.
I am going to a wedding in Dec and hope to breastfeed. I asked if the baby could come and the bride said yeah and then added, 'you can use the room we have allocated to freshen up in/store our bags to feed in.' She was just being nice but what's wrong with discreetly feeding at my table? Will I make others feel uncomfortable? I may not even be able to do it but if I can I don't want to have to leave the room to do it!

You can probably just breastfeed at the table . I doubt anyone would even notice! I had Sophie in a sling when we went out to a pub when she was 10 days old. She breastfed for about 75% of the time and not even family who were at the table with me noticed!

 

[Maxy1]

Where I am there are prejudices both ways so a new mum can't win. You get scowled at for FFing and BFing by certain ppl in society. Its just the way it is. I have never personally had a bad response and have not seen anyone else have a bad response for either.

I agree with pp that if it bothers people then they are looking too long or too hard at it.

 

[CatandKitten]

I had a friend tell me in all seriousness that breastfeeding has no place in modern society. He seemed to think that formula was invented so that guys don't have to share their partner's boobs. It's insane that breasts are so sexualized that this type of thinking exists!

My BIL said that he wouldn't let his fiancee BF cause it would ruin his fun bags. She was sitting right there too

Haha, the jokes on him then since its the pregnancy that "ruins" them.

 

[Itsychik]

I think people find it embarrassing.
I am going to a wedding in Dec and hope to breastfeed. I asked if the baby could come and the bride said yeah and then added, 'you can use the room we have allocated to freshen up in/store our bags to feed in.' She was just being nice but what's wrong with discreetly feeding at my table? Will I make others feel uncomfortable? I may not even be able to do it but if I can I don't want to have to leave the room to do it!

Sorry, it's just my opinion, but I think that if the bride/groom asked you to use another room then that would be the most polite thing to do (and if you disagree with them, then don't go to the wedding). It's their day, their party, and while it may be inconvenient for you, it's not an unreasonable request.

Just my opinion though

 

[LannieDuck]

I nipped all the time with my LO (just recently finished bfing), and never got a single comment. If there were snide looks, i didn't spot them. I was very discreet about it (loose fitting top that covered most of the boob and the baby's mouth), but I imagine it was still relatively obvious what I was doing.

My OH said that apparently my G-MIL was a bit shocked when I nipped at the restaurant we went to for lunch, but she didn't say anything to me. I think that was probably the closest I came to upsetting anyone with it.

 

[Lauki]

I think people find it embarrassing.
I am going to a wedding in Dec and hope to breastfeed. I asked if the baby could come and the bride said yeah and then added, 'you can use the room we have allocated to freshen up in/store our bags to feed in.' She was just being nice but what's wrong with discreetly feeding at my table? Will I make others feel uncomfortable? I may not even be able to do it but if I can I don't want to have to leave the room to do it!

Sorry, it's just my opinion, but I think that if the bride/groom asked you to use another room then that would be the most polite thing to do (and if you disagree with them, then don't go to the wedding). It's their day, their party, and while it may be inconvenient for you, it's not an unreasonable request.


Just my opinion though

I suppose your right !

What you could do though is suggest that you can feed really discreetly with the use of a sling or something like it. Surely they would understand it wouldn't be fun to be locked in a room for ages on your own!

 

[RaspberryK]

Yes, my oldest friend whom I went to primary school AND WHO IS A SCHOOL TEACHER, finds breastfeeding disgusting. She is only just got used to me feeding LO and still is a bit uncomfortable.
I have had some terrible filthy looks from people when NIP but I don't care!
Most of my family, DH family, think I should have stopped at 6 months and will be horrified when I haven't stopped at 12 months.
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