do people really have problem with women bf.

[vintage67]

Here's the difference.

If you are being judged for breastfeeding, you can know in your heart that you are doing the healthiest thing for your baby. You can sit back and know that the judger is a bit prudish, or doesn't know any better.

If you are being judged for feeding a bottle, you have no defense of yourself whatsoever, because no one cares what you went through, what medication you might be on--nothing. If the judger in that case believes formula is evil and you are lazy and stupid, there is really nothing you can do. You're just lazy and stupid. ANd selfish. And your baby is to be pitied.

While judgment is hard to deal with in any form, the judgement against bottle feeders is very real, and mostly in the form of the "look." I found myself blubbering to a waitress one day this past week about my 11 day post partum hospitalization and probably more than she ever wanted to hear because I caught "that look" in her eye. Or my son's uber-crunchy science teacher at school who still likes to ask me if I'm breastfeeding for the 10th time in 6 months when she knows I was in the hospital and all the health issues I went through and my heart medication.

I feel sorry for anyone being judged, but I would rather be judged to be a hippy or even a "boob flasher" than lazy, stupid, uninformed, selfish and brainwashed by teddy bears on cans of formula.

 

[Kelly81]

I've never been a huge fan of feeding in public just because of my own insecurities but when I have done it I've only had one older couple in a cafe have a bit of a stare but they didn't say anything.

The main issue I've had is from my own family. My Mother on the few occasions I fed when she was with us kept insisting on covering me up with a blanket, a bit annoying when we were sat at an event outside in blazing sunshine and I was already wearing three tops and wasn't showing an inch of skin then when my Gran had loads of family over to her house at Christmas she made it clear to me and my cousins wife who was also BFing that she had reserved her small sitting room for feeding the babies and her bigger one (weird house layout!) was for everyone else. I didn't actually mind this one though as she'd lit the fire so it was nice and cosy and it was nice to have a bit of quiet time away from everyone fussing over LO

 

[Kelly81]

Here's the difference.

If you are being judged for breastfeeding, you can know in your heart that you are doing the healthiest thing for your baby. You can sit back and know that the judger is a bit prudish, or doesn't know any better.

If you are being judged for feeding a bottle, you have no defense of yourself whatsoever, because no one cares what you went through, what medication you might be on--nothing. If the judger in that case believes formula is evil and you are lazy and stupid, there is really nothing you can do. You're just lazy and stupid. ANd selfish. And your baby is to be pitied.

While judgment is hard to deal with in any form, the judgement against bottle feeders is very real, and mostly in the form of the "look." I found myself blubbering to a waitress one day this past week about my 11 day post partum hospitalization and probably more than she ever wanted to hear because I caught "that look" in her eye. Or my son's uber-crunchy science teacher at school who still likes to ask me if I'm breastfeeding for the 10th time in 6 months when she knows I was in the hospital and all the health issues I went through and my heart medication.

I feel sorry for anyone being judged, but I would rather be judged to be a hippy or even a "boob flasher" than lazy, stupid, uninformed, selfish and brainwashed by teddy bears on cans of formula.

Sorry you've been judged I hate thinking women feel guilty for something beyond their control. Also, for an educated woman your son's science teacher sounds like a fruit bat.

 

[Poppeteer]

I'm genuinely shocked people have had so much negativity when bf'ing in public...

I have nursed my two kids everywhere in public.... Not even with a cover... And I can honestly say I've never had any comments... Could it be because I seem so unapproachable or is it because I'm so brazen with it?

 

[Natsku]

I don't recall ever getting any negative comments or looks about breastfeeding. Sure I had some looks while NIPing but I don't think they were negative looks, more just 'oh look at that' kind of looks. But I think breastfeeding is more common here so maybe thats why.

The only thing close to a negative comment was my mum saying, when Maria was a year old, that maybe it was time for me to stop, but she wasn't being pushy or anything, just giving her opinion and was happy enough when I told her it wasn't time.

 

[justplainTIFF]

I have only been bf for two weeks now and braved doing it in public a few times already. More for my hubby's comfort than mine, I've covered up with a blanket but I always leave a "peekaboo hole" so I can look down at my son as he's eating. I haven't had any comments from anyone negative or positive yet but I actually got an approving glance from a nice lookin Indian woman while at the photographers the other day. Everyone in my family has been supportive of me nursing and are proud since most of them were unable to or were made to feel uncomfortable by others when they attempted it. B

 

[andella95]

My MIL made snide little comments about if she was getting enough...which she wasn't and I didn't know for sure until she was hospitalized due to my crappy milk supply. Does that count?

 

[raychmumtobe]

I myself only breast fed for a mere 4 months, 2 of those being combi feeding.
I fed in public in total like 4 times, 3 of those i was made to feel like i was doing something indecent and wrong.

The first time i ever breast fed in public was in a busy shopping centre.. i went upstairs, sat on a bench with my back to everyone and my coat was over my babe and boob... a group of young men, mid twenties, noticed what i was doing and started shouting really vulgar comments at me... i burst into tears, but refused to stop as my babe was hungry, and my OH confronted them and they ran off...

This put me off going out for about 2 weeks, and when i got the courage to do it again, i went to a cafe with my OH, that we went to frequently with his parents, and we bought drinks and were sat in the far corner with our backs to the rest of the room and i started feeding LO, within around 2 minutes, the manager came over and asked me to stop, or leave.. I asked her why and she said because it was a family restaurant and children and men came in there. I simply had no reply as i was dumbfounded and literally felt like id done something obscene.. I had to unlatch my daughter, who then proceeded to scream whilst my OH demanded a refund for our drinks, as we hadnt even had chance to drink them... i then had to walk to the public toilets so that i could feed my daughter, then got on the first bus home. Weve never been back to that cafe.

But i think the worst thing for me when breastfeeding, was feeling uncomfortable feeding in front of my family... My dad and my BIL wouldnt stay in the room if i needed to feed LO, and my brother literally shouted at me to go in the other room.

I really dont understand the stigma... Its perfectly natural, but i was made to feel like i was being vulgar by whipping my boob out to feed LO.. although i was always completely covered, and you couldnt actually see anything.. I never understood it... but i really do wish id carried on past four months. I miss the closeness with my daughter, especially since i only get 2 hours in the morning of co-sleeping now too.
I want more snuggles!

 

[justplainTIFF]

I myself only breast fed for a mere 4 months, 2 of those being combi feeding.
I fed in public in total like 4 times, 3 of those i was made to feel like i was doing something indecent and wrong.

The first time i ever breast fed in public was in a busy shopping centre.. i went upstairs, sat on a bench with my back to everyone and my coat was over my babe and boob... a group of young men, mid twenties, noticed what i was doing and started shouting really vulgar comments at me... i burst into tears, but refused to stop as my babe was hungry, and my OH confronted them and they ran off...

This put me off going out for about 2 weeks, and when i got the courage to do it again, i went to a cafe with my OH, that we went to frequently with his parents, and we bought drinks and were sat in the far corner with our backs to the rest of the room and i started feeding LO, within around 2 minutes, the manager came over and asked me to stop, or leave.. I asked her why and she said because it was a family restaurant and children and men came in there. I simply had no reply as i was dumbfounded and literally felt like id done something obscene.. I had to unlatch my daughter, who then proceeded to scream whilst my OH demanded a refund for our drinks, as we hadnt even had chance to drink them... i then had to walk to the public toilets so that i could feed my daughter, then got on the first bus home. Weve never been back to that cafe.

But i think the worst thing for me when breastfeeding, was feeling uncomfortable feeding in front of my family... My dad and my BIL wouldnt stay in the room if i needed to feed LO, and my brother literally shouted at me to go in the other room.

I really dont understand the stigma... Its perfectly natural, but i was made to feel like i was being vulgar by whipping my boob out to feed LO.. although i was always completely covered, and you couldnt actually see anything.. I never understood it... but i really do wish id carried on past four months. I miss the closeness with my daughter, especially since i only get 2 hours in the morning of co-sleeping now too.
I want more snuggles!

If it was a "family" restaurant she should have realized that you were in fact feeding your family!

 

[raychmumtobe]

I myself only breast fed for a mere 4 months, 2 of those being combi feeding.
I fed in public in total like 4 times, 3 of those i was made to feel like i was doing something indecent and wrong.

The first time i ever breast fed in public was in a busy shopping centre.. i went upstairs, sat on a bench with my back to everyone and my coat was over my babe and boob... a group of young men, mid twenties, noticed what i was doing and started shouting really vulgar comments at me... i burst into tears, but refused to stop as my babe was hungry, and my OH confronted them and they ran off...

This put me off going out for about 2 weeks, and when i got the courage to do it again, i went to a cafe with my OH, that we went to frequently with his parents, and we bought drinks and were sat in the far corner with our backs to the rest of the room and i started feeding LO, within around 2 minutes, the manager came over and asked me to stop, or leave.. I asked her why and she said because it was a family restaurant and children and men came in there. I simply had no reply as i was dumbfounded and literally felt like id done something obscene.. I had to unlatch my daughter, who then proceeded to scream whilst my OH demanded a refund for our drinks, as we hadnt even had chance to drink them... i then had to walk to the public toilets so that i could feed my daughter, then got on the first bus home. Weve never been back to that cafe.

But i think the worst thing for me when breastfeeding, was feeling uncomfortable feeding in front of my family... My dad and my BIL wouldnt stay in the room if i needed to feed LO, and my brother literally shouted at me to go in the other room.

I really dont understand the stigma... Its perfectly natural, but i was made to feel like i was being vulgar by whipping my boob out to feed LO.. although i was always completely covered, and you couldnt actually see anything.. I never understood it... but i really do wish id carried on past four months. I miss the closeness with my daughter, especially since i only get 2 hours in the morning of co-sleeping now too.
I want more snuggles!

If it was a "family" restaurant she should have realized that you were in fact feeding your family!

Thats what i thought

 

[mamaduke]

I personally haven't but I try to avoid BFing in public to avoid the people who are uncomfortable with it. I have to admit that I went into my pregnancy anti-BF as I am uncomfortable with seeing breasts whipped out in public, even for something as natural and normal as BFing due to my upbringing. But expressing and bottles made it a more comfortable thing for me, and now, I'm a bit more comfortable with the idea of public BFing.

 

[soph77]

Australia is very pro breastfeeding. I often get people coming up to me congratulation me for nip or saying how lovely it is to see a mother bfing.

I think that's awesome. I loved visiting Australia when I was 16. It seemed like such a down to earth country

Australia is pretty awesome, even if I do say so myself!

 

[Menelly]

In real life? Yes, I have and Kesslie's only 8 weeks old.

Between mother in laws that say "a bottle won't hurt, and you can get some sleep" (yes, a bottle will hurt at 2 weeks old) to a restaurant employee that asked "wouldn't you feel more comfortable in the ladies' room?" while feeding her.

I've been at family functions and had the entire family walk away leaving me alone to feed her when I started tending to her needs, even though I was happily still talking to them.

I've had a doctor ask me "when" I was going to start doing formula top ups.

I'm sure I'll have more stories, she's still a newborn. But yeah, it's amazing how many people will subtly try to undermine breastfeeding, even when they're tiny. It's like you get "breast is best" in one hand and absolutely no support or help in the other. I'm just lucky I have the world's most supportive OH.

 

[Menelly]

I had a friend tell me in all seriousness that breastfeeding has no place in modern society. He seemed to think that formula was invented so that guys don't have to share their partner's boobs. It's insane that breasts are so sexualized that this type of thinking exists!

My BIL said that he wouldn't let his fiancee BF cause it would ruin his fun bags. She was sitting right there too

Haha, the jokes on him then since its the pregnancy that "ruins" them.

Would be a moot point for me... someone who tried to dictate what I do with my body would be an "ex" pretty fast.

 

[Menelly]

I'm genuinely shocked people have had so much negativity when bf'ing in public...

I have nursed my two kids everywhere in public.... Not even with a cover... And I can honestly say I've never had any comments... Could it be because I seem so unapproachable or is it because I'm so brazen with it?

Could also just be location. I live in an area that's 70% Mormon, and if I was using one of those giant breastfeeding covers, I doubt anyone would care. Children are numerous out here, and so are Udder Covers. But I find them hot, sticky, and obnoxious to faff around with, as well as it puts a giant sign over your head that says "BABY NOMMING ON BOOB, STARE OVER HERE" that annoys me.

So I think I "offend" more people around here by being "not modest enough to use a cover" as opposed to offending them by actually breastfeeding, if that makes sense?

 

[LockandKey]

I've never had a problem with it. I've had people comment on my nursing cover, and some people stare as they walked on by, and if I did by chance get a dirty look, I didn't notice it. Oh well, they can give me dirty looks all they want, but it's not going to change anything, I'm still going to bf DD in public, at home, same goes for any other children I may have in the future

 

[hayz_baby]

I think its a major reason why some ppl wont bf.. Coz of at some point u have to nip.. I had heard horror stories and it scared me senseless im not the best person to take things like tht on a good day.. This is defo someyhing the goverment shud approach considering u always get the breast is best. I never personally tho had n e adverse reactions in bf.. But i was too scared to do it in public and certain ppl i didnt really know.. But tht is jus me.. Ivwill always fully stand for n e one who chooses to nip..
Also i love watching bf.. Like even before i was pregnant.. So i sometimes look when i see ppl nip.. Then i look away purely because i dnt know them and i dnt know how cpmfprtable they wud feel with a stranger staring.. Even if it is for a positive reason.. But i can imagine tht bein taken the wrong way. The only time i got away with it was when i was over due and walking round town and took a seat to relax and near me was a nursing mummy and i watched and i know she knew i was watching and from.what i gathered was quite happy to let me stare.. In a this is what it is like.. She was also v discreet and even with me being a perve (lol) i didnt see n e boob.

 

[jenniferttc1]

I have. I can clear a room in public in seconds!

 

[oblada18]

I myself only breast fed for a mere 4 months, 2 of those being combi feeding.
I fed in public in total like 4 times, 3 of those i was made to feel like i was doing something indecent and wrong.

The first time i ever breast fed in public was in a busy shopping centre.. i went upstairs, sat on a bench with my back to everyone and my coat was over my babe and boob... a group of young men, mid twenties, noticed what i was doing and started shouting really vulgar comments at me... i burst into tears, but refused to stop as my babe was hungry, and my OH confronted them and they ran off...

This put me off going out for about 2 weeks, and when i got the courage to do it again, i went to a cafe with my OH, that we went to frequently with his parents, and we bought drinks and were sat in the far corner with our backs to the rest of the room and i started feeding LO, within around 2 minutes, the manager came over and asked me to stop, or leave.. I asked her why and she said because it was a family restaurant and children and men came in there. I simply had no reply as i was dumbfounded and literally felt like id done something obscene.. I had to unlatch my daughter, who then proceeded to scream whilst my OH demanded a refund for our drinks, as we hadnt even had chance to drink them... i then had to walk to the public toilets so that i could feed my daughter, then got on the first bus home. Weve never been back to that cafe.

But i think the worst thing for me when breastfeeding, was feeling uncomfortable feeding in front of my family... My dad and my BIL wouldnt stay in the room if i needed to feed LO, and my brother literally shouted at me to go in the other room.

I really dont understand the stigma... Its perfectly natural, but i was made to feel like i was being vulgar by whipping my boob out to feed LO.. although i was always completely covered, and you couldnt actually see anything.. I never understood it... but i really do wish id carried on past four months. I miss the closeness with my daughter, especially since i only get 2 hours in the morning of co-sleeping now too.
I want more snuggles!

Thats bloody disgusting and so completely illegal!!
If you give me the details of the cafe you went to I will go there myself to feed my 8 months old and god save her if she tries to say anything!! I'm not even joking!!

I have been quite lucky, I think people dont really dare to make nasty comments at me and I never really noticed any nasty stare. I know most women at work dont agree with me completely on bf but they know better than to try and tell me what to do anyway lol My family is really supportive so that the main thing really.

A friend of my mother (I have known all my life) emailed me at the beginning to ask me why I was breastfeeding, whether I really needed to breastfeed to 'feel' like a mother, hinting that I was basically being selfish and explaining that my daughter's brain development was going to be affected by not being given formula

 

[Natsku]

I'd like to add that I was never very discrete when feeding in public (didn't like the nursing covers) and Maria liked to pull off and flash me to everyone passing by but still no one said anything. I dunno if its cost breastfeeding is more common or nudity is just less shocking here (I once saw a naked man swimming in the rapids at a huge family event and no one batted an eyelid)