do people really have problem with women bf.

[YoshiPikachu]

I've had a lot of negativity for BF, and most of it has been from health professionals sadly. When its health professionals saying these things it really does set doubts in your mind as it isn't like they are just an ill-educated average joe member of the public. My in-laws used to be anti-BF but now they are not as they have seen my boys thrive on it. In this particular 'neighbourhood' BF rates are pretty high but in other areas of this borough, including where I used to live, and in the hospitals around here BF rates are pretty much zero, and it is really looked down upon. I had dirty looks, tuts and comments for NIP very discreetly in A&E when my son was a week old, and again when I was waiting to be signed off by the midwife when he was 5 weeks, if I'd have cracked open a jar of baby food and started feeding him with that the reaction would have been less bad. I honestly weighed up FF from birth with my youngest just because they are so anti-BF around here and I couldn't go through it again; I am glad I didn't go down that road though as we discovered at a week old that he had quite a serious CMPI and cutting stuff out of my own diet worked well and was no hassle. My GP (who also trained as a paediatrician) is very supportive of BF so she is a big exception to the general rule around here and if it wasn't for her I probably would have thrown in the towel a long time ago. xx

Oh my god that is really really sad.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

I myself only breast fed for a mere 4 months, 2 of those being combi feeding.
I fed in public in total like 4 times, 3 of those i was made to feel like i was doing something indecent and wrong.

The first time i ever breast fed in public was in a busy shopping centre.. i went upstairs, sat on a bench with my back to everyone and my coat was over my babe and boob... a group of young men, mid twenties, noticed what i was doing and started shouting really vulgar comments at me... i burst into tears, but refused to stop as my babe was hungry, and my OH confronted them and they ran off...

This put me off going out for about 2 weeks, and when i got the courage to do it again, i went to a cafe with my OH, that we went to frequently with his parents, and we bought drinks and were sat in the far corner with our backs to the rest of the room and i started feeding LO, within around 2 minutes, the manager came over and asked me to stop, or leave.. I asked her why and she said because it was a family restaurant and children and men came in there. I simply had no reply as i was dumbfounded and literally felt like id done something obscene.. I had to unlatch my daughter, who then proceeded to scream whilst my OH demanded a refund for our drinks, as we hadnt even had chance to drink them... i then had to walk to the public toilets so that i could feed my daughter, then got on the first bus home. Weve never been back to that cafe.

But i think the worst thing for me when breastfeeding, was feeling uncomfortable feeding in front of my family... My dad and my BIL wouldnt stay in the room if i needed to feed LO, and my brother literally shouted at me to go in the other room.

I really dont understand the stigma... Its perfectly natural, but i was made to feel like i was being vulgar by whipping my boob out to feed LO.. although i was always completely covered, and you couldnt actually see anything.. I never understood it... but i really do wish id carried on past four months. I miss the closeness with my daughter, especially since i only get 2 hours in the morning of co-sleeping now too.
I want more snuggles!

Thats bloody disgusting and so completely illegal!!
If you give me the details of the cafe you went to I will go there myself to feed my 8 months old and god save her if she tries to say anything!! I'm not even joking!!

I have been quite lucky, I think people dont really dare to make nasty comments at me and I never really noticed any nasty stare. I know most women at work dont agree with me completely on bf but they know better than to try and tell me what to do anyway lol My family is really supportive so that the main thing really.

A friend of my mother (I have known all my life) emailed me at the beginning to ask me why I was breastfeeding, whether I really needed to breastfeed to 'feel' like a mother, hinting that I was basically being selfish and explaining that my daughter's brain development was going to be affected by not being given formula

raychmumtobe- OK that is soooo wrong! I would snap at the person at the cafe, there is no reason for BS like that. And I think your brother is pathetic. I breastfeeded around my my brother and he didn't care at all.


...oblada18-Really that is sad. I would of been like, Breastfeeding is affecting the brain alright, but in a good way!

 

[raychmumtobe]

Just wanted to say... I miss breast feeding!!!
So much that i wanna cry.
I went to baby massage again today, and there were 2 bfing mums, and seeing them just made me miss how close it used to make me feel to Catey. Bottle feeding her just isnt the same.
Id gladly endure all that humiliation again if it meant i could feel like that again with my daughter.
Obviously i love her to bits... but not having that closeness just doesnt feel right.

 

[Menelly]

Raych, without wanting to pry, why did you stop again? It might be possible to relactate, it takes a lot of work and time and committment, but it is possible. Maybe not enough to be 100% of the feeds, but it could be something.

I know TheNewMrs has a thread running in the BF forum on relactating. Could be worth looking into?

 

[ahcigar1]

I don't have a problem bf an infant. And I have never come across anyone who has had a problem with it.

 

[raychmumtobe]

Raych, without wanting to pry, why did you stop again? It might be possible to relactate, it takes a lot of work and time and committment, but it is possible. Maybe not enough to be 100% of the feeds, but it could be something.

I know TheNewMrs has a thread running in the BF forum on relactating. Could be worth looking into?

i stopped after i had surgery. i was combi feeding as LO was really hungry... but when i had surgery i wasnt allowed to BF for 36 hours, then i ended up back in A+E 3 times and on morphine, so couldnt BF for over a week. By the time i could again, my milk had pretty much gone. Wish Id pumped to try and keep my supply up, but barely had time to think through passing out every few hours.

Thanks so much. ill go and have a look.

 

[Wantingbbbump]

I have got tons of dirty looks and comments from NIP. It really just makes me mad. People say that I offend them by pulling out my breast to feed my child and that I need to think about how others feel and to cover up...WTF to me there is NO difference in me feeding my baby from my breast or a bottle. My breast IS her bottle. I got into a debate with a woman because she said that I needed to cover up and I pointed out that we don't see bottle fed babies eating with a blanket over it's head or even adults having a meal like this so why should my daughter. She just got really nasty. I was even called a whore for NIP. I don't get how feeding my newborn makes me a whore but okay I guess to that person it did. I have also been told that when a perv see's me nursing and I end up getting raped it's my own fault. Yes there is crazy people that will say all kinds of shit to try and stop a mom from NIP here covered up or not. It really pisses me off because bf'ing is natural and is the best food for our babies, shoot it's even on formula cans that the breast is best. I feel that people should support how women choose to feed their babies be it from a bottle or from the tap, breast milk or formula. So from what I've had to deal with while feeding my 5 kids, yes people DO have problems with breastfeeding women, covered up or not you will get looks and rude comments.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I have got tons of dirty looks and comments from NIP. It really just makes me mad. People say that I offend them by pulling out my breast to feed my child and that I need to think about how others feel and to cover up...WTF to me there is NO difference in me feeding my baby from my breast or a bottle. My breast IS her bottle. I got into a debate with a woman because she said that I needed to cover up and I pointed out that we don't see bottle fed babies eating with a blanket over it's head or even adults having a meal like this so why should my daughter. She just got really nasty. I was even called a whore for NIP. I don't get how feeding my newborn makes me a whore but okay I guess to that person it did. I have also been told that when a perv see's me nursing and I end up getting raped it's my own fault. Yes there is crazy people that will say all kinds of shit to try and stop a mom from NIP here covered up or not. It really pisses me off because bf'ing is natural and is the best food for our babies, shoot it's even on formula cans that the breast is best. I feel that people should support how women choose to feed their babies be it from a bottle or from the tap, breast milk or formula. So from what I've had to deal with while feeding my 5 kids, yes people DO have problems with breastfeeding women, covered up or not you will get looks and rude comments.

The ignorance of the world never ceases to amaze me

 

[YoshiPikachu]

I have got tons of dirty looks and comments from NIP. It really just makes me mad. People say that I offend them by pulling out my breast to feed my child and that I need to think about how others feel and to cover up...WTF to me there is NO difference in me feeding my baby from my breast or a bottle. My breast IS her bottle. I got into a debate with a woman because she said that I needed to cover up and I pointed out that we don't see bottle fed babies eating with a blanket over it's head or even adults having a meal like this so why should my daughter. She just got really nasty. I was even called a whore for NIP. I don't get how feeding my newborn makes me a whore but okay I guess to that person it did. I have also been told that when a perv see's me nursing and I end up getting raped it's my own fault. Yes there is crazy people that will say all kinds of shit to try and stop a mom from NIP here covered up or not. It really pisses me off because bf'ing is natural and is the best food for our babies, shoot it's even on formula cans that the breast is best. I feel that people should support how women choose to feed their babies be it from a bottle or from the tap, breast milk or formula. So from what I've had to deal with while feeding my 5 kids, yes people DO have problems with breastfeeding women, covered up or not you will get looks and rude comments.

Oh my freaking god! If that was me someone would be getting yelled at big time!

 

[Wantingbbbump]

I would of yelled at them if I wasn't feeding my baby. It just is a shame that we are judged for how and what we feed our babies. I don't think that we should feel shame or that we are doing something wrong for breastfeeding. I do have to say that I have found the elderly to be very supportive and I do love the very loving smiles that they give me while feeding my baby. I have even had them stop me to say what a wonderful thing it is to see a mother nursing their baby. Both women and men. They are the greatest support for it where I live.

 

[Dragonfly]

So familar what some are saying, here is you pull out a bottle you dont get looked at. Today I was at the dentist with Alex and like they all do they assume hes bottle fed. Then go in to shock when told different. Blame his front teeth on it, blame breastfeeding because he dosnt like solids the docs. I got so much crap from when I started to feed my kids i lost all my friends and some of my family dont come near me any more. I think my aunt feels guilty as she went weird with me and was grabbing her kids away from me when I was feeding my son. And my mum thinks I should hide in my bedroom of my home if I have visitors. Or indeed the toilet if we go shopping. I have thought a few times if i stop breastfeeding they will all leave me alone, no more comments, everyone gets to have my child to feed and give me a break apparently. No more remarks about social disorders, remarks about feeding him through the school railings, bitty, people just staring at me not knowing what to say when they have to be corrected about formula as I never used it. You can read their faces theres no "well done" on their faces. No more having to lie when I just dont feel like being interrogated. no more avoiding meeting mums for the same reasons, no more avoiding play groups i can blend in with the formula mums. Had I had done all this I wouldnt have had so many headaches but my heart would have had a massive ache. One I would never get over. I decided I rather have no friends around me and do what I felt right. It still feels right, I wont regret it. And if I have another I will do it all over again with an extra bit of FU to health professionals who are crap at their jobs because I had to do my education on bnb.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

So familar what some are saying, here is you pull out a bottle you dont get looked at. Today I was at the dentist with Alex and like they all do they assume hes bottle fed. Then go in to shock when told different. Blame his front teeth on it, blame breastfeeding because he dosnt like solids the docs. I got so much crap from when I started to feed my kids i lost all my friends and some of my family dont come near me any more. I think my aunt feels guilty as she went weird with me and was grabbing her kids away from me when I was feeding my son. And my mum thinks I should hide in my bedroom of my home if I have visitors. Or indeed the toilet if we go shopping. I have thought a few times if i stop breastfeeding they will all leave me alone, no more comments, everyone gets to have my child to feed and give me a break apparently. No more remarks about social disorders, remarks about feeding him through the school railings, bitty, people just staring at me not knowing what to say when they have to be corrected about formula as I never used it. You can read their faces theres no "well done" on their faces. No more having to lie when I just dont feel like being interrogated. no more avoiding meeting mums for the same reasons, no more avoiding play groups i can blend in with the formula mums. Had I had done all this I wouldnt have had so many headaches but my heart would have had a massive ache. One I would never get over. I decided I rather have no friends around me and do what I felt right. It still feels right, I wont regret it. And if I have another I will do it all over again with an extra bit of FU to health professionals who are crap at their jobs because I had to do my education on bnb.

Wow sad. Some people need to grow up!

 

[babyhopes2010]

ermmmmmmmmmm only yesterday i had a nasty comment about FF.

'poor baby,drinking from a cold bottle,God knows what shes just put in it'


LO isnt well with her reflux so have to put stuff in it.the bottle also wasnt cold FF.

i just bit my tongue-really shouldnt have

 

[Yammas]

I dont have a problem with breastfeeding Ive never noticed if a woman has been NIP near me and wouldnt say anything if she did I'm shocked that people can be so horrible about something that your body is supposed to do I;d love to know how theyd cope if they were around before formula was invented???

As for formula I wouldve thought youd be less likely to get comments as its seen as the norm imo as long as baby is happy its no one elses business. I work in childcare and the majority of children have formula although there was one parent who expressed milk and brought it in daily, one of the women I worked with started making a big fuss after the parent left about how she had to touch breastmilk and it was sooo disgusting blah blah blah I just though it was in a sealed sterile bag all you had to do was put it in the fridge get over yourself ffs

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont have a problem with breastfeeding Ive never noticed if a woman has been NIP near me and wouldnt say anything if she did I'm shocked that people can be so horrible about something that your body is supposed to do I;d love to know how theyd cope if they were around before formula was invented???

As for formula I wouldve thought youd be less likely to get comments as its seen as the norm imo as long as baby is happy its no one elses business. I work in childcare and the majority of children have formula although there was one parent who expressed milk and brought it in daily, one of the women I worked with started making a big fuss after the parent left about how she had to touch breastmilk and it was sooo disgusting blah blah blah I just though it was in a sealed sterile bag all you had to do was put it in the fridge get over yourself ffs

I have a friend like that, I once expressed a bottle and let people feed WIlliam, once. A splash of milk went on her hand as she was putting the bottle in his mouth and you swear she was near throwing. Looked proper disgusted and holding her hand out looking for someone to clean it. You would have thought I took a dump on her hand .

 

[Yammas]

I just dont get it people will happily touch milk from a cow which in comparison is a lot dirtier than the average person so whats the difference??? I wouldve seriously have something to say if my friend did that to me, did she even think how bad that must make you feel???

 

[YoshiPikachu]

I dont have a problem with breastfeeding Ive never noticed if a woman has been NIP near me and wouldnt say anything if she did I'm shocked that people can be so horrible about something that your body is supposed to do I;d love to know how theyd cope if they were around before formula was invented???

As for formula I wouldve thought youd be less likely to get comments as its seen as the norm imo as long as baby is happy its no one elses business. I work in childcare and the majority of children have formula although there was one parent who expressed milk and brought it in daily, one of the women I worked with started making a big fuss after the parent left about how she had to touch breastmilk and it was sooo disgusting blah blah blah I just though it was in a sealed sterile bag all you had to do was put it in the fridge get over yourself ffs

I have a friend like that, I once expressed a bottle and let people feed WIlliam, once. A splash of milk went on her hand as she was putting the bottle in his mouth and you swear she was near throwing. Looked proper disgusted and holding her hand out looking for someone to clean it. You would have thought I took a dump on her hand .

Wow that is pathetic.

 

[RaspberryK]

My mil acts like this! ^^

But I have a friend who's actually tasted my milk - not directly from the source I will add :wink:

x