Do this, don't do that, your a bad mom because you ...

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by Haych86, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. Haych86

    Haych86 Well-Known Member

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    GRRRR SHUT UP!!!!

    This thread is mainly aimed at media and scientists and people who generally come up with things that in my opinion don't really matter¬

    All these do's and don'ts and people telling you your a bad mother because you bottle feed or you wean early or you dont. You work or you dont work.

    Somebody is ALWAYS telling us that what we do for our kids and they way we are bringing them up is wrong and we should do it this way, or that way.

    WHY?!!!

    Obviously in some cases parents need guidance or in some cases the parents actually are harming their children in what they are doing BUT the majority of us no matter what our morals, choices in feeding etc are doing a good job. So what if you breast or bottle feed? So what if you wean at 4 months or 8 months. Is your child happy? is your child healthy? is your child loved?

    Everybody needs guidance, everybody asks for help and opinions but what we dont need is being told that we are bad parents because we chose from a number of options given to us.

    Some people choose routine/ some don't
    some choose the bottle/ some choose the breast

    Sorry I'm just sick of being told that the way I choose to bring up my son is wrong.

    Wrong in who's world?
     
  2. KayBea

    KayBea Mummy to Xanthia Lily

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    I know how you feel!!
    The whole weaning thing bugs me!! You cant wean until 6 months now but 3 years ago it was 4 months now new research says 3 months...

    :S
    X
     
  3. msmissa

    msmissa Mommy of 1 & expecting

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    I second this!! It's ridiculous! The thing I get most is I must be a bad mom cuz I'm so young and my husband is miltary...what awful parents we must be because there's no way we know what we're doing *rolls eyes

    People need to mind their own business for the most part. If the child is happy, healthy, loved and well taken care of, then back off

    OOOh sorry for hijacking your rant lol

    But I totally agree with you
     
  4. Haych86

    Haych86 Well-Known Member

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    I weaned a week before he turned 4 months and he is happy healthy takes enough milk as well as food not over weight infact he is tall and slim. A big boy but its all height. He's never been ill from my early weaning and is ahead in many milestones. I dont think their should be a set age for weaning, you wean when your baby is ready be it 3 months or 10 months who cares if they are healthy?
     
  5. blinkybaby

    blinkybaby Well-Known Member

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    Here here. Totally agree with that sentiment hun xx
     
  6. KatelynsMummy

    KatelynsMummy Mummy to Katelyn!

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    10000000000000000000000000% agree... :flower:
     
  7. Aidan's Mummy

    Aidan's Mummy Mummy to Aidan and Oliver

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    Agree. Yes advice can be great and certain things really help. But mothers need to stopped being judged for doing what's best for their individual baby/child xx
     
  8. Haych86

    Haych86 Well-Known Member

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    Age has nothing to do with being a good parent really I know 35 year olds who are terrible parents and a 15 year old who actually turned out to be an amazing mother considering the troubles she went through.
     
  9. Fabby

    Fabby mummy to my amazing boy x

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    I so agree with you! X
     
  10. msmissa

    msmissa Mommy of 1 & expecting

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    I agree. But one day a few weeks ago, these 2 older women were talking bad about how I'm way too young to be a good mother and my poor child doesn't stand a chance. The nerve of some people! :growlmad:

    Like I said, people need to butt out
     
  11. sez

    sez Well-Known Member

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    Completely agree... I used to find it very stressful when Katie was born as there was so much conflicting information advice everywhere. Now I just do what I think is right for my baby and try not to worry about she said/he said information :) Mummy knows best and I truly believe that :thumbup:

    Today I found out that using talcum powder is a big NO NO??? Apparently it can get in their lungs????!!! :saywhat: Never did me any harm? :shrug:
     
  12. KayBea

    KayBea Mummy to Xanthia Lily

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    Yeah apparently if they breathe it in which is why liquid talc has been introduced lately...
    Dont ask me, just money making imo!! X
     
  13. babyjiva

    babyjiva 1st baby

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    never been told i was a bad mum before, can't even imagine someone would have the nerve
     
  14. whoops

    whoops Just me and my LO

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    Not just official studies - I think mums can be very hard on each other as well. Especially in regards to parenting styles.
     
  15. smokey

    smokey Mummy to a monkey

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    The way I have always seen it is by the time you finish reading this the guidlines for one thing or another will have changed AGAIN so sod it all I cant be bothered with them and ill do it my way.
     
  16. smokey

    smokey Mummy to a monkey

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    We are buggered then, I used to completly cover myself in the stuff and Brian looks like hes been in an explosion in a chalk pit when he gets hold of it behind my back :)
     
  17. JamRolyPoly

    JamRolyPoly Mother of 1

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    LOVE this thread!!

    I have never been told I'm a bad mother but constantly feel like it. I do get "suggestions" though... I feel crap because:

    a) I gave up breast feeding after 6 weeks
    b) I'm giving her a little taste of solid food with baby food jars at 4 months
    c) Whilst we have a feeding and bed routine, no day nap routine exists
    d) She seems to be suffering with separation anxiety and I'm giving in

    There are many other things that make me feel rubbish, but every now and then I stop and think "so what"? She's happy!! She's not overweight, she could do with putting a little bit more weight on. Only problem is she cries when I'm not there, even if she's with daddy, so I don't have a life. But never mind!
     
  18. Gen79

    Gen79 Well-Known Member

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    I don't know that any scientist has concluded any study with "therefore if you don't follow my results you are a bad parent". Don't worry so much about what other people think, there aren't nearly as many judging you as you think. Most of them are too worried about their own lives to bother. :hugs:
     
  19. supertabby

    supertabby Well-Known Member

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    a) you didn't give up - you gave your baby an amazing 6 weeks of breast milk. And formula is still full of goodness and perfectly healthy for them.

    b) I thought they could have it at 4 months? My baby book and hv both say wean between 4 and 6 months. Apparently 4 months is when their digestive systems are mature enough and 6 months is when they start needing vitamins and minerals not supplied by milk alone.

    c) we have no day nap routine, only a bedtime routine. During the day we do different things and I don't want to be tied down (or restrict her experiences) by routine. She's happy and contented with that, and nods off where she feels like - at home or in her pram or car seat while out. I let her lead the day routine.

    d) Isobel is ok being away from me but I know if we have a separation anxiety phase I'll end up giving in. It's so hard to let them be unhappy, even when you know they need to learn. She's also still young and might grow out of it herself in a few months when they start figuring out independence.

    You are NOT a crap mother - sounds like you're making sacrifices and giving her lots of your time and love!
     
  20. Tacey

    Tacey Well-Known Member

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    Personally, I am grateful for well researched studies and find their results interesting. If I can do something better for my daughter, I would like to. I don't think I have all the answers just because I'm her mother. There's always room for improvement. Obviously I'm not going to be perfect, and I'm not going to beat myself up if I did something that wasn't ideal, but I'd still like to know. If I was unable to breastfeed, I wouldn't want studies to be repressed just because they might make me feel bad, as they help to support other women.

    Contrary to popular belief, researchers don't put their time and money into studies to make people feel guilty.
     

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