Do this, don't do that, your a bad mom because you ...

[lozzy21]

The only thing that gets my is the working vs not working. All these studys are saying they children are better with one parent at home but the goverment make it impossible for you to do so.

 

[3011busyyear]

It does get confusing I agree but research needs to be done and without research we would never learn things, the world would still be flat!
I'm kind of glad that we know the benefits of breast feeding, how children develop, what they can see/hear/smell at different ages, what toys are age appropriate so we don't all have our 1week olds in jumperoos!
Advice is sure to change over time as we learn more, they wouldn't do the research if they thought the results would be the same.

But agreed you do need to use your own judgement to filter through all the advice

P.s I'm grumpy today,hence why I'm disagreeing with everyone! Sorry!

 

[moomin momma]

My issue isn't with the researchers, or even with the journalists who report their findings often wildly exaggerated, but with fellow mummies. I wouldn't tell another new mother she was doing it wrong (unless she was actually doing something harmful, and even then I'd try and be tactful) so I get really angry when people judge me. I had someone tell me the other day that it was wrong to let Lucy nap in a sling because it would mean she gets too attached to me (dur, that's kind of the point!) The worst is my own Mum who seems to disagree with everything I'm doing. She told me off last time she was here because I wouldn't let Lucy cry it out when she woke up only ten minutes into her nap (can't bring myself to do it, especially not at 8 weeks old).

 

[Strawberrymum]

Omg totally agree I had it from all the midwives at the postnatal hospital. Each midwife would tell me to breastfeed in different positions then tell me the position suggested by the previous midwife was bad!
I gave my baby formula at two days old cause I thought she hungry I was given a lecture yup a lecture then made to SIGN a form consenting to my baby being poisoned by formula! Psshh she was then breastfeed till 17 months with no thanks to the midwives!

 

[Haych86]

Personally, I am grateful for well researched studies and find their results interesting. If I can do something better for my daughter, I would like to. I don't think I have all the answers just because I'm her mother. There's always room for improvement. Obviously I'm not going to be perfect, and I'm not going to beat myself up if I did something that wasn't ideal, but I'd still like to know. If I was unable to breastfeed, I wouldn't want studies to be repressed just because they might make me feel bad, as they help to support other women.

Contrary to popular belief, researchers don't put their time and money into studies to make people feel guilty.

I have nothing against research IF it is correct in what they say but when I read in the paper that my bottle fed baby is more likely to become a criminal it gets my back up. I was bottle fed, so were my brothers, we have never been in trouble with the law.

Obviously research is good BUT its the things said about mothers that dont do what research says they should be that annoys me. The world is not black and white everyone has their reasons for what they choose! No body should say any parent is better than the next if that parent is doing everything in their power for the health of their child and themselves.

 

[Haych86]

Omg totally agree I had it from all the midwives at the postnatal hospital. Each midwife would tell me to breastfeed in different positions then tell me the position suggested by the previous midwife was bad!
I gave my baby formula at two days old cause I thought she hungry I was given a lecture yup a lecture then made to SIGN a form consenting to my baby being poisoned by formula! Psshh she was then breastfeed till 17 months with no thanks to the midwives!

Sign a form??? WHAT?!!! Poisoned by formula never heared such bull in my life lmao ... For my son my breast milk is poison because of my own health and my medication, so what should I do??? poison him with my milk or poison him with formula. HAHA oh dear!!!

 

[Haych86]

My issue isn't with the researchers, or even with the journalists who report their findings often wildly exaggerated, but with fellow mummies. I wouldn't tell another new mother she was doing it wrong (unless she was actually doing something harmful, and even then I'd try and be tactful) so I get really angry when people judge me. I had someone tell me the other day that it was wrong to let Lucy nap in a sling because it would mean she gets too attached to me (dur, that's kind of the point!) The worst is my own Mum who seems to disagree with everything I'm doing. She told me off last time she was here because I wouldn't let Lucy cry it out when she woke up only ten minutes into her nap (can't bring myself to do it, especially not at 8 weeks old).

And this was my exact point its what works for YOU and YOUR child. The research is there , thats good, but being made out to be a bad mother because of what YOU CHOSE really annoys me. What is right in one family might not work for another!

 

[alynn6758]

Every find that no matter what I do or what approach I take with my children, I get crap either way, because everyone has there own way of thinking and doing things...I say that parents should follow there instincts and learn to absorb information, and then make the decisions that are best for them and their children. Example...co-sleeping was never right for me or my boys, but my little Avonlea loves it and so do I. You can bet your butt I'm getting crap about how dangerous it is. I do feel a little guilty for going against the "research" But she feels safe next to me. I think of all the baby animals sleeping next to their mamas, not in cribs, it seems natural to me. Will she always sleep with me, of course not...but sometimes I like having her next to me. I feel more bonded than I did with my boys at this stage, i can't really explain why but that's just the case. I'm sure I'll get negative responses for this, but that's ok, I've learned to ignore it.

 

[Strawberrymum]

Omg totally agree I had it from all the midwives at the postnatal hospital. Each midwife would tell me to breastfeed in different positions then tell me the position suggested by the previous midwife was bad!
I gave my baby formula at two days old cause I thought she hungry I was given a lecture yup a lecture then made to SIGN a form consenting to my baby being poisoned by formula! Psshh she was then breastfeed till 17 months with no thanks to the midwives!

Sign a form??? WHAT?!!! Poisoned by formula never heared such bull in my life lmao ... For my son my breast milk is poison because of my own health and my medication, so what should I do??? poison him with my milk or poison him with formula. HAHA oh dear!!!

I know I was in tears but it wasn't the midwives fault just hospital policy. She didn't say it was poison just made me felt like I was. My newborn drank nearly 10ml then slept for 5 hours maybe she was hungry.

 

[DanielleM]