Do we risk another preemie?

[buttonnose82]

Just wanted to brain dump and figured I would do it here as some of you might be in a similar situation depending on why you had a preterm baby.

Back story

Pregnancy number 1, no issues what so ever, baby born a couple days before due date, not alot to report

pregnancy number 2, baby delivered by emergency section at 32 weeks due to severe HELLP syndrome, my liver, kidneys & clotting had all packed up, my blood pressure was sky high and I was starting to get some brain swelling, they were discussing sending me to intensive care and starting Dialysis at one point and we were told after delivery that both me & baby were hours from death.

So, we always wanted more than 2 children, we had planned either 3 or 4, I saw the consultant after this happened and she advised that the chance are this will happen again in future pregnancies but hopefully wouldn't be as severe and hopefully later in pregnancy (she said she would be happy to get to 34 weeks and over the moon to get to 36 weeks). I am just having trouble getting my head around it all, we want more chilren but I am also scared stiff of pregnancy now, would we be right to risk this happening again or would that be selfish?

sorry, just have noone else to really talk to

 

[kelly6407]

My story is very similar.

My first baby was a straight forward pregnancy, over due and born very healthy.


My 2nd went wrong, delivered at 28+6 due to severe PE, cord failure, iugr and other things. She weighed 1lb 8oz but now a healthy almost 15m old.


I always wanted 3 kids but after my 2nd I was to scared and didn't want to risk having another preemie.

BUT
The choice was taking away from me when a little sperm managed to dodge the iud coil I had in place and fertilised my egg lol

Now I'm currently 25+3 weeks preg with a little boy, it's very scary to be pregnant just now, I'm terrified of it happening again. But they r watching me very closely, and unfortunately I'm showing signs of the PE returning this time but the good thing is they know about this and because they r watching me so well they r aware and doing something about it.

I'm on a daily dose of aspirin and having my bp and urine checked every 2 weeks just now and regular scans, just back from mw actually and she said they will probably check me weekly after my 28w scan.


They r very positive I will get further and even possibly full term with all this monitoring.


It's a risk to go for another baby but sometimes u just have to take that risk and hope for the best. It could turn out better than u think and it would be worth it.

 

[lozzy21]

If you so decide to have another then they will be watching you more carefully and i doubt things will get as bad as they were last time if you were to get it again.

 

[Foogirl]

In a bizzare way, I'm envious of you. At least you know for sure what the cause was, they can monitor it, but you can prepare for another pre-term and they are advising you may well go further.

My consultant simply said "no reason for it to happen again" They have no idea why I bled, nor why my waters broke or if I would have gone longer if they hadn't had to take her out for our own safety so no reason to suspect it can happen again. However, to me there is no way they can say that. Just because there was no reason, doesn't mean there's any less risk in another pregnancy. I am trying for another but I'm scared shitless - especially as our NNICU experience resulted in Abby having Cerebral Palsy. I'm worried next time round the baby could be smaller, sicker and more affected.

Sorry, I have no advice, just joining the brain dump!!

 

[mummy3]

Your second experience is similar to my first, severe HELLP, I got to 35 weeks though and although we were both in hospital for a couple of weeks things settled down and it was a good outcome in the end. I was monitored SO closely in my 3 susequent pregnancies No signs of HELLP or PE in them. All 3 were preemie though for different reasons. I was told that HELLP does increase your chances ( 50/50, is what they said to me) of getting it again but like you said its usually later and less severe. Can you get into perinatology for a pre conception chat?

 

[AP]

I agree with Lozzy hunny, because of what happened before, they know what they will be trying to prevent, so really, you will have a better chance than you did last time.
Its a hard decision to make, I know xxxx

 

[cherry22]

I have been asking the same question to myself! My husband and i always wanted 3 children,
Pregnancy number 1- Was fine up untill last month then bp shot up was in hosp but went into natural labour had my son, he was sick with missed GD and ended up in scbu for 10 days!
Pregnancy number 2- Absolutely fine apart from GD (wasnt missed this time!) up untill 32 weeks when he stopped moving rushed in for and EMCS, we had,had a fetal maternal hemorrahge and was hours from loosing him, he had the lowest levels of blood the doctors had ever seen! because his blood had mixed with mine and im resus neg i had to have 6 times the does of anti-d!! At that point i said never again and im still trying my best to tell myself never again. BUT i do want another one eventually, my husbad isnt up for it at all so we are giving our selfs about 4 years and then see how we feel that way if finley has eny issues we will know!
But ive been really hurt by peoples comments more so from my family i get dont have enymore your obviously not very good at it! And dont you dare have another one i couldnt go through it again, i replied did you have the section? no! Dis you sit up in the NICU for a month? no! Have you had the sleepless nights thinking of what his future will be? no! Its my life and my family and if me and my DH make an informed choice to do it one more time then thats up to us!!!

Good luck with what you decide if only we could see our future hay! Even if i could have seen what was going to happen to us i still would do it again to have him here!
x

 

[buttonnose82]

Cherry we have had the same comments, MIL was horrified and I mean horrified at the weekend when I said we were keeping the little dudes clothes he had outgrown, she has made NO secret of the fact she hopes we have no more, and to be honest I wouldn't mind if it was because she was worried about me or the baby, but no, it is because she doesn't know how SHE would cope or what SHE has done to deserve this upset in her life!

 

[Foogirl]

Oh Buttonnose, I remebmber my MIL saying she could have done without all the extra stress and worry we had caused her. I nearly punched her.

 

[lozzy21]

Cherry we have had the same comments, MIL was horrified and I mean horrified at the weekend when I said we were keeping the little dudes clothes he had outgrown, she has made NO secret of the fact she hopes we have no more, and to be honest I wouldn't mind if it was because she was worried about me or the baby, but no, it is because she doesn't know how SHE would cope or what SHE has done to deserve this upset in her life!

Your MIL has all-ways been a cow who only thinks about herself, tell her to go shove her opinion up her arse.

 

[Mumof42009]

From my experience's the care does getting better after having preemie's, action plans get put into place and you are given more scans. But it's still always at the back of your mind that the baby might be a preemie and you sort of prepare yourself for that x

 

[lindseymw]

After having Joshua prem, I was in the same boat about deciding whether to have another. There was no obvious reason why I went into labour.

2nd pregnancy, I was shitting myself all the way through. I didn't getting any extra care as my previous preterm was 'one of those things' so was deemed a low dependancy pregnancy from 12 weeks. (i saw a consultant at 12 weeks after my scan but was discharged from her care straight away). I managed to last an extra week! Still no reason has been given as to why I can't carry full term.

Sorry I'm not much help.

 

[maxxiandniko]

I had my twin boys at almost 29 weeks and for no identifiable reason. My cervical length started to decrease significantly at around 23 weeks. The twins are a little over 1 (corrected age of 1 later this month) and are both doing really well. I'm also on the fence about trying for another. I had to do ivf to get these 2 and since my husband will not willingly do ivf again (he'll do it if I really want to but is terrified of us going through another high risk pregnancy) I realize that I may not get pregnant again anyway. I was pregnant this past March but miscarried. I still can't help but want to try though.

 

[BleedingBlack]

My first was born at 35 weeks via emergency induction. I had Placenta Accreta with her and low fluids. During delivery my cervix got severely damaged and I later was diagnosed with Incompetent Cervix.

My second was born at 39 weeks and my third at 38 weeks. I struggled to keep them in the womb. We had a lot of ups and downs. A lot of scares.

My third was born at 33 weeks via emergency induction. She stopped growing at 29 weeks and we were both doing horrible.

All my pregnancies are high risk and I'm watched really close. I'm now 12.4 weeks pregnant and I'm told I'm at a high risk for another preemie due to IUGR and the fact that my weakened body never healed completely after my preemie was born.

 

[cherry22]

Cherry we have had the same comments, MIL was horrified and I mean horrified at the weekend when I said we were keeping the little dudes clothes he had outgrown, she has made NO secret of the fact she hopes we have no more, and to be honest I wouldn't mind if it was because she was worried about me or the baby, but no, it is because she doesn't know how SHE would cope or what SHE has done to deserve this upset in her life!

Its that age old thing with people not thinking before they speak! I would say 95% of people have looked at me shocked or stupidly if ive said that i'd be lying if i said i didnt want one more! The only person who gets it is my sister and thats because she's been trying for a baby for over a year now!
Its not fair for people to make comments like that, i dont care how close they are to you they are not you or your husband so they just dont know! i flipped at my mum the other day after having a conversation, after another comment i just said look its my life i dont want to get to 60 and think its my biggest regreat not having a third child! But i'll cross that bridge when i come to it!
All i can say is follow your heart! x

 

[cheree89]

I totally understand. My son was born at 30 weeks from premature rupture of membranes. I want another so badly, but am terrified of another preemie.

 

[Jen1802]

I was in the same boat, our first was overdue born via induction, our second was born at 26 plus 4 due to incompetent cervix, must have been damaged and weakened from first time round. I often asked myself over the past 10 months whether we would risk having another one because of the chances of it happening again and well the decision has kind of been taken out of our hands. Just found out last week we're expecting no 3, obviously not planned and I'm so nervous about what the months ahead hold for us. I am taking comfort in the fact that the hospital explained to me how close an eye they'd be keeping on me if I were to get pregnant again! Scary all the same!!! xoxo

 

[kelly6407]

I was in the same boat, our first was overdue born via induction, our second was born at 26 plus 4 due to incompetent cervix, must have been damaged and weakened from first time round. I often asked myself over the past 10 months whether we would risk having another one because of the chances of it happening again and well the decision has kind of been taken out of our hands. Just found out last week we're expecting no 3, obviously not planned and I'm so nervous about what the months ahead hold for us. I am taking comfort in the fact that the hospital explained to me how close an eye they'd be keeping on me if I were to get pregnant again! Scary all the same!!! xoxo

Totally the same story as me lol
My 1st over due, induced labour.
My 2nd preemie 28+6 weighing 1lb 8oz
My 3rd, surprise, decision taken out of my hands when baby managed to get in there lol now 26weeks preg.
Let's hope we both have happy long 3rd pregnancies