Do you ever not want kids?

[Mammyduffy]

I know this sounds odd coz I am sooooo baby mad as in all I have ever wanted my whole life is a baby and planned like mad...

But sometimes I'm just like - you know what F it! I can't be bothered / don't want it... this is usually just when I have found out ANOTHER person is pregnant!! I have every woman I work with pregnant plus friends and cousins, in total 12 babies due between now and April and 4 recently born!

It's just too much... I have been married nearly 6 years now whereas most of these people haven't even been with their partners that long.... I wanted to be first! And now it's just like well everyone else has already done it so I don't want to now coz they will be thinking they know better than me!!

I know this is a very childish immature reaction, but I just cannot help it! Does anyone else feel the same or am I the only crazy one?!?!

 

[wombat1]

You're not crazy

Often after seeing someones travel photos or reading about ancient temples somewhere I want to just book flights for the next 10 years and forget kids. But I know I want them, and they are portable and pretty much have to do what I tell them so they're going to see ancient temples too! Or they can visit grandma for a bit. Sometimes the amount of work and energy makes me feel tired just thinking about it so I wonder if I'm really cut out for it or if I'd actually enjoy it, but my partner always points to how much I love the cat and tells me we'll be fine. I like kids, I've worked with them a lot but to get one you can't give back.. that's scary!

 

[MellyH]

I definitely had/have lots of the same feelings. I went through a phase for a few years of not wanting kids, and some part of that was definitely 'everyone around me is having kids, I want to be different and blaze a trail, I don't want to follow in everyone's footsteps!'. I've gotten more and more clucky in the last couple of years though (damn biological clock!) and am now at the point where I think part of blazing my own trail is having kids. Since neither of our siblings are in serious relationships at the moment, our kids will almost certainly be the first grandkids on both sides, so there is still that element of 'first' about it. Which, I agree, is not the most important thing, but since our kids are SO important to us, you like to feel they are important to other people too.

 

[Mammyduffy]

yey I'm so glad I'm normal x

 

[tverb84]

Sometimes yes but the want to have children outweighs not wanting.

 

[HoneyBee144]

I hope you don't mind me replying as I have a baby but I do know how you feel. I used to always feel like that, I convinced myself that if my SIL got pregnant while we were waiting then she was going to ruin everything and there would be no point in us having a baby. When I write it down it seems ridiculous but I can still remember the feeling.
We were due to start TTC in May last year and my friend at work announced she was pregnant in the April, I was so upset and felt she had 'stolen my thunder'. I got pregnant in the July and now we're much closer and meet up with our LO's regularly.

Anyway the whole point of my rambling was to sympathise as I know exactly how you feel but also to reassure you even though it doesn't feel like it at the time it's nice once your baby is born to know others with LO's the same age. Plus when it's your baby it is x100 times better and more special and they'll never know better than you as no one knows your baby better than you

 

[LockandKey]

I went through the same thing last winter, 2 people I didn't expect just came out of no where saying they were pregnant, and they were 2 of many who were already pregnant at the time, I'd say there were at least 10 others as well. We were trying and I told DH, "well, let's just stop trying now, I don't want to be pregnant the same time as everyone else is." Sounds completely selfish and childish I know, even silly, but that's how I felt at the time, and we are only human, we can't control our feelings either.

Well it turns out I was already pregnant anyway, so I eventually got over it, mostly because I had to, but I do understand where you are coming from.

 

[Hollynesss]

When I think of all of the places I want to travel to I have these moments of "all that money that could be spent traveling and being selfish is now going to go to daycare :/"

But these passing fancies go away pretty quickly. As wombat said, we can just bring the kiddos with us! (or have them visit grandma!)