Do you ever wish that the women who fought to be able to work hadn't?

[Pearls18]

We were living on 2 incomes for 6 years before we had LO.....transitioning to one has not been so hard, we have a house payment, one car payment, hospital bills etc....but we live very frugally and don't have to have the brand new thing, all the time. Our TV' are old, we don't have a lot of gadgets, neither of us has a brand new car....sometimes it seems people have to work to keep up with the things they want, rather than trying to limit it a bit and live on less.

Just IMO, no bashing towards anyone.....

I agree!!! You do not HAVE to go to work--just figure out what you can give up if you want to stay home. I think a family is much better off with a parent at home. I for one, will not be returning to work as i plan on taking care of my own childern. We don't need fancy cars or need to go on expensive vacations. We believe our family and time spent with our children is more important to us than material things. I'm so lucky my mom stayed home with me and my sister and that our parents made SACRIFICES for our family. I think that's what is wrong with families today - there are so many moms that head back to work instead of spending time with their children during their most critical learning years. If you want to go back to work, do it but if you hate your job and you want to stay home with your children you will have to make sacarifices but it will be so worth it! Please don't take me the wrong way. I just feel sorry for moms who feel that HAVE to go back to work.

Oh please get off your pedestal, what is wrong with society today is women being judgemental about other people's decisions (and being ignorant to other people's situations) not the fact that we have choices. Live and let live.

No one's beging judgemental! I simply gave my opionion. If you disagree that's OK!

It wasn't what the thread is about, the OP is asking about what we think about the ability to have a choice not what are choices are/will be, your opinions could ostracise those who choose to work but didn't want to get into that debate on here. I suggest you look for a SAHM vs WM thread.

 

[Elephant5740]

We were living on 2 incomes for 6 years before we had LO.....transitioning to one has not been so hard, we have a house payment, one car payment, hospital bills etc....but we live very frugally and don't have to have the brand new thing, all the time. Our TV' are old, we don't have a lot of gadgets, neither of us has a brand new car....sometimes it seems people have to work to keep up with the things they want, rather than trying to limit it a bit and live on less.

Just IMO, no bashing towards anyone.....

I agree!!! You do not HAVE to go to work--just figure out what you can give up if you want to stay home. I think a family is much better off with a parent at home. I for one, will not be returning to work as i plan on taking care of my own childern. We don't need fancy cars or need to go on expensive vacations. We believe our family and time spent with our children is more important to us than material things. I'm so lucky my mom stayed home with me and my sister and that our parents made SACRIFICES for our family. I think that's what is wrong with families today - there are so many moms that head back to work instead of spending time with their children during their most critical learning years. If you want to go back to work, do it but if you hate your job and you want to stay home with your children you will have to make sacarifices but it will be so worth it! Please don't take me the wrong way. I just feel sorry for moms who feel that HAVE to go back to work.

Oh please get off your pedestal, what is wrong with society today is women being judgemental about other people's decisions (and being ignorant to other people's situations) not the fact that we have choices. Live and let live.

No one's beging judgemental! I simply gave my opionion. If you disagree that's OK!

It wasn't what the thread is about, the OP is asking about what we think about the ability to have a choice not what are choices are/will be, your opinions could ostracise those who choose to work but didn't want to get into that debate on here. I suggest you look for a SAHM vs WM thread.

I was simply adding to what socity said.

 

[NellyLou]

Exactly, I don't have the choice. We both have to work. We have a tiny house, one car, and that is it, and good jobs! But housing is crazy expensive here. Although now that I have been back to work for a month I am loving it!!! And my daughter loves daycare

 

[Pearls18]

Exactly, I don't have the choice. We both have to work. We have a tiny house, one car, and that is it, and good jobs! But housing is crazy expensive here. Although now that I have been back to work for a month I am loving it!!! And my daughter loves daycare

I'm glad you're enjoying it, I think the thought of going back is more daunting then actually going back sometimes. Although I pretty much ran out the door my first day hehe.

 

[Elephant5740]

Exactly, I don't have the choice. We both have to work. We have a tiny house, one car, and that is it, and good jobs! But housing is crazy expensive here. Although now that I have been back to work for a month I am loving it!!! And my daughter loves daycare

You said that you would prefere to stay at home in your first question.... I believe the women who fought for us to work had all the right intentions and i thank them for that. We are now able to choose if we want to work or not. I'm glad to hear you love your work! I think just because women fought for the right to work doesn't mean you HAVE to. That is my point...sorry if i was confusing

 

[NellyLou]

Exactly, I don't have the choice. We both have to work. We have a tiny house, one car, and that is it, and good jobs! But housing is crazy expensive here. Although now that I have been back to work for a month I am loving it!!! And my daughter loves daycare

You said that you would prefere to stay at home in your first question.... I believe the women who fought for us to work had all the right intentions and i thank them for that. We are now able to choose if we want to work or not. I'm glad to hear you love your work! I think just because women fought for the right to work doesn't mean you HAVE to. That is my point...sorry if i was confusing

Yeah it was when I was just returning and was having a hard time all good now!

 

[DragonflyWing]

You said that you would prefere to stay at home in your first question.... I believe the women who fought for us to work had all the right intentions and i thank them for that. We are now able to choose if we want to work or not. I'm glad to hear you love your work! I think just because women fought for the right to work doesn't mean you HAVE to. That is my point...sorry if i was confusing

I would just like to point out that some people actually don't have a choice. Even with 2 incomes, DH and I barely cover all our bills each month. Both of our cars are over 12 years old and were purchased used, we have one TV from the 1990s (it has a VCR! ), we don't even have cable, and we do not buy "the newest gadgets." DH works from home so is able to take care of the babies while I'm at work, but honestly we may have to put them in daycare soon, because DH can't get enough work done while watching them. If one of us stopped working entirely, it would not be a matter of cutting out unneccesary expenses. We simply wouldn't be able to make it. If making sacrifices means losing your home and being destitute, that's certainly what we'd have to do in that case. I'd love to be a SAHM, but my salary makes up 80% of our income, so that's not an option for me.

 

[NellyLou]

You said that you would prefere to stay at home in your first question.... I believe the women who fought for us to work had all the right intentions and i thank them for that. We are now able to choose if we want to work or not. I'm glad to hear you love your work! I think just because women fought for the right to work doesn't mean you HAVE to. That is my point...sorry if i was confusing

I would just like to point out that some people actually don't have a choice. Even with 2 incomes, DH and I barely cover all our bills each month. Both of our cars are over 12 years old and were purchased used, we have one TV from the 1990s (it has a VCR! ), we don't even have cable, and we do not buy "the newest gadgets." DH works from home so is able to take care of the babies while I'm at work, but honestly we may have to put them in daycare soon, because DH can't get enough work done while watching them. If one of us stopped working entirely, it would not be a matter of cutting out unneccesary expenses. We simply wouldn't be able to make it. If making sacrifices means losing your home and being destitute, that's certainly what we'd have to do in that case. I'd love to be a SAHM, but my salary makes up 80% of our income, so that's not an option for me.

Thank you! This is what I have been trying to say. Lots of us don't have the choice of whether or not we work.

 

[korndogger123]

We were living on 2 incomes for 6 years before we had LO.....transitioning to one has not been so hard, we have a house payment, one car payment, hospital bills etc....but we live very frugally and don't have to have the brand new thing, all the time. Our TV' are old, we don't have a lot of gadgets, neither of us has a brand new car....sometimes it seems people have to work to keep up with the things they want, rather than trying to limit it a bit and live on less.

Just IMO, no bashing towards anyone.....

I agree!!! You do not HAVE to go to work--just figure out what you can give up if you want to stay home. I think a family is much better off with a parent at home. I for one, will not be returning to work as i plan on taking care of my own childern. We don't need fancy cars or need to go on expensive vacations. We believe our family and time spent with our children is more important to us than material things. I'm so lucky my mom stayed home with me and my sister and that our parents made SACRIFICES for our family. I think that's what is wrong with families today - there are so many moms that head back to work instead of spending time with their children during their most critical learning years. If you want to go back to work, do it but if you hate your job and you want to stay home with your children you will have to make sacarifices but it will be so worth it! Please don't take me the wrong way. I just feel sorry for moms who feel that HAVE to go back to work.

I would like to point out is a HUGE sacrifice to decide to go back to work! What about single parents who can't have a parent at home at all times? I guess they better just become homeless to spend more time with their children. What about the few people who have already responded that even living with the bare necessities ends wouldn't meet? It is unfair to make people seem like they don't want to stay home with their children. Sometimes you have to go to a job you hate because you don't have a choice because your family would suffer if you did not make that sacrfice.
My parents on the other hand BOTH worked outta the home, and I remember them spending LOTS of time with us. My mother was always a super woman to me, she was able to work and raise us. I wanted to be just like her! She became disabled and ended up a SAHM in my teen years and wasn't as happy, she missed working.

 

[DLA]

I wish it were that simple for us to just cut unnecessary spending but we've done that already. I can't tell you the hours I've spent trying to figure out a way to live on just my OHs salary so I could stay home. It's not possible. His salary wouldn't cover our housing, student loans & car payment (even if we got rid of my car), let alone all the other necessary expenses to live. I'm an extreme couponer so we pay virtually nothing for our groceries. We don't use credit cards. I'm a master at frugality by now but it's just not enough. It's our student loans that kill us. We both went to 4 yr schools...

Maybe I shouldn't blame it on the women's movement, but I'm not sure who to blame it on. Economy? Idk I just wish I had that choice.