Do you smack LOs hand/bum?

[Wobbles]

And before anyone comes in high and mighty this thread isn't to judge those who do tap their children so if you have nothing nice to say say nothing.

So does anyone tap/smack their kids hands bum? If so what age did you start at a guess or what was the child doing to get you to start using this method?

Now I have issues with this ...with myself. My stepfather was an asshole and I was at the hands of abuse for about a year of my life so this really makes me edgy obviously I'm not on about marking the child, making the skin raw etc but I still fear using this method as a 'no' I laugh when OH tells her off too it makes me nervous which annoys him but I can't help it yet of course I'm comfy when I tell her off even though I have gave her a cuddle 2 seconds later feeling bad eek!

Anyway the reason for my question is because my lil girl is becoming a brat lol

I spotted her lil temper some time ago how wrong was I that it was the max she is screeching screamin crying so loud when she doesn't get her own way and mostly does that AT us. Has to stop somewhere esspecially as now its a case of getting her own way to stay up til 12/1/2am this last 3-4 nights.

 

[redberry3]

Since I am just a new mom I have not done this before but from the way I was raised I WILL be giving him a little smack/tap on the bum if he gets a little moody. It did me good and put things in perspective when I was bad or misbehaving.....I do it to my pets too.... Not to compare raising children to raising pets but I think it is effective as long as it is not taken too far.

 

[ryder]

hmmm I dunno... I have mixed feelings on physical punishment, I dont think I will though... have you tried setting up a quiet place for time outs?

 

[sam#3]

I tap dylans bum when he is REALLY out of line but he has to really push it, i try to use the '1,...2,....3' and the 'naughty step' first but if he is really bad then he does get a smacked bum, not really hard but just so that he knows that ive had enough.
I started this with him fairly recently as he used to be good as gold but then about 6 months ago the devil infected him with rage!!!
I had a violent upbringing too so i would never want my kids to fear me but at the same time im not going to let them walk all over me!
I found with dylan he went through an awful stage when harry was 1st born but he seems to be calming down a bit now so if i were you i would try and get the naughty phase over with before bump comes along and the jealous monster kicks in!!!

 

[Wobbles]

hmmm I dunno... I have mixed feelings on physical punishment, I dont think I will though... have you tried setting up a quiet place for time outs?

I do also Ryder - Physical punishment is harsh I'm purely talking about a tap of 'no'. I have BIG issues with that as mentioned slightly above which is why I don't want the narky replies and for it to be twisted into something this thread is not about.

She really is too young to understand 'time out' this is definately something we would use in the future as a take 2 seconds to collect your thoughts and calm.

 

[Vickie]

Stan has tapped Hannah's hand and told her no before. Must admit I didn't care for it Though he was completely right in doing it (she was pulling an electrical cord ). Hannah's still young but I can already tell she's going to be a handful, gets mad when things are taken away, whines if she doesn't get what she wants etc. and I won't rule out us using this method as a way to teach her right from wrong.

 

[Wobbles]

I tap dylans bum when he is REALLY out of line but he has to really push it, i try to use the '1,...2,....3' and the 'naughty step' first but if he is really bad then he does get a smacked bum, not really hard but just so that he knows that ive had enough.
I started this with him fairly recently as he used to be good as gold but then about 6 months ago the devil infected him with rage!!!
I had a violent upbringing too so i would never want my kids to fear me but at the same time im not going to let them walk all over me!
I found with dylan he went through an awful stage when harry was 1st born but he seems to be calming down a bit now so if i were you i would try and get the naughty phase over with before bump comes along and the jealous monster kicks in!!!

1 - 2 - 3 worked now she knows its NO she'll scream at us.

I know this isn't a couple of days thing and she will be perfect soon lol which is why I've created thread.

TBH she is a well behaved lil girl she always has been and we get so many comments on her its lovely & (big head) its true lol but hey ho they all do this stage.

I do fear the reaction a lil when her sister arrives which is round the corner.

 

[alio]

hmmm I dunno... I have mixed feelings on physical punishment, I dont think I will though... have you tried setting up a quiet place for time outs?

I do also Ryder - Physical punishment is harsh I'm purely talking about a tap of 'no'. I have BIG issues with that as mentioned slightly above which is why I don't want the narky replies and for it to be twisted into something this thread is not about.

She really is too young to understand 'time out' this is definately something we would use in the future as a take 2 seconds to collect your thoughts and calm.

I don't think there's anything wrong with defining situations with a tap on the hand or bum. Especially for young kids who have to learn distinctions between safe situations and dangerous situations. Of course it's hard to label and 'police'. I'd like to think that no-one would take it too far but there are some horrid and some misguided people out there. Interesting post which I'm sure will bring about some debate.......

 

[sam#3]

I have a feeling this will cause some erm...heated conflicting opinions!!

 

[littlelady]

I tell leeon firmly no and move him from what hes doing or if i have hold of him and he bites out him down on the floor but lately hes becoming naughty

other day had his hands in video player normally i say no he moves away but not this time laughed at me did it again so i moved him away and he bit me so put him on floor then he jumped up bit inside of my leg and no didnt tap him or hed have done it back thinking it was ok like the biting x

 

[Wobbles]

I have a feeling this will cause some erm...heated conflicting opinions!!

The Q was for Mums who tap hands not a nod for causing harm to child so if anyone makes this heated I'll delete it because theres no need to.

Obviously EVERYONE has problem with marking a child a smack that marks red is too hard thats not what my question/thread means.

 

[taperjeangirl]

I didnt hit my oldest, but it was for the same reasons as you wobbles I suppose.
My Dad was brutal with physical punishment and I really didn't want to do that to my kids.
i don't suppose it would hurt to just Tap their hand or bum though, it's not like you will be beating her!

My sister and friend went for that approach with their LO's (tapping their hands when they were naughty)
My friends little boy used to go around smacking people though!

Caitlin is maybe just having her terrible 2's early!
I honestly can't remember how I dealt with the naughtyness my first one had at that age! I've maybe mentaly blocked it out otherwise I wouldn't have had anymore kids!

Hope you find the right way for you all xxxx

 

[Wobbles]

I tell leeon firmly no and move him from what hes doing or if i have hold of him and he bites out him down on the floor but lately hes becoming naughty

other day had his hands in video player normally i say no he moves away but not this time laughed at me did it again so i moved him away and he bit me so put him on floor then he jumped up bit inside of my leg and no didnt tap him or hed have done it back thinking it was ok like the biting x

Tbh I think childs natural reaction is to do these things ...biting Caitlin learnt how to do that even does it to my coffee table lol and has been throwing her hands about and tapping me now that imo isn't from anything other than its her way of no that is naturally picked up.

I think they all go through that at some point like they go through other 'moments' throughout their childhood.

 

[kelly2903]

lilly already no's what no means and she smacks me for saying it, so yes i tap her hand, i hate doing it but she quits what she is doing and she doesnt smack me back, i had to curb this before it got out of hand smaking mummy for saying no is really not good, and also she likes the plugs and the cables and fire, she rags at the fire gaurd which i tap her hand she trys to take the plug covers out and i again tap her hand, to be honest the only thing she has stopped doing is smacking me back, she now shouts at me when i say NO, im gonna have a brat tooo! and i dont really no wat to do about it as i really dont think the tap works she doesnt cry, she just laughs or shouts at me??? i was thinking maybe i should just ryde it out till she understands time out, naughty step ect...... if you do come up with an idea thats suitable, let me no, if its also suitable for 11month old. hope you find a way round it

 

[brownhairedmom]

Obviously Renah is really little and hasn't done anything. I think that if she was doing something dangerous I probably would (like Vickie mentioned above). If she throws a temper tantrum I think I'd be more likely to move her to a safe area and let her throw her fit until she calms down, but hold consequences for it (ex. if you throw a fit over this toy, you won't get to play with it).

If it really comes down to it, I'd do it, but I'd explain why and give her a cuddle after like you said. You can't let kids walk all over you.

 

[Wobbles]

I'm a big softy with my lil girl I love her very much as all you Mums I would never bring harm to her but these moments that come have to be nipped in butt somehow - I mean I said brat in a joke way but Itruely don't want her to turn into a do as please lil girl.

Its the things that are dangerous like wires or expensive shouldn't touch things like pushing the Wii out the back of the unit onto hard floor, pushing and slapping the TV screen, thinking laptops are to play with, wanting to play at the bottom of the stairs etc you can only move and protect so much and there has to be a line for every child and them to accept no not just plod along thinking its ok I'll go do it again in a second.

 

[kelly2903]

oh christ i just read my post it sound really bad, i wrote she doesnt cry..... i dont wan her to cry i just want her to understand, that she is doing something that can be dangerous xxxx

 

[Wobbles]

Obviously Renah is really little and hasn't done anything. I think that if she was doing something dangerous I probably would (like Vickie mentioned above). If she throws a temper tantrum I think I'd be more likely to move her to a safe area and let her throw her fit until she calms down, but hold consequences for it (ex. if you throw a fit over this toy, you won't get to play with it).

If it really comes down to it, I'd do it, but I'd explain why and give her a cuddle after like you said. You can't let kids walk all over you.

I'm such a softy for cuddles even if I tell her off I can't do it without guilt.

She goes in her playpen sometimes but of course the screeching is MADNESS and what I'm thinking is that with another - her alone maybe more doeable but theres going to be 2 soon MADLY

 

[TashaAndBump]

I don't tap on the hand / bum and don't think I will... I have the same issues / feelings about as you do Wobbles, I just wouldn't feel comfortable. Another thing is, when you use 'tapping' as a form of discipline, I believe the child would find it hard to distinguish between discipline because something is naughty or dangerous and anger from the parent because often when you say "no" you can sound angry, not because you are necessarily but because it is important for the child to know you are serious, if you know what I mean? So I believe that all a child could take from that is that when you are angry you hit. And I assume that you use tap to distinguish between a real slap that would leave a mark and be abusive and a controlled tap of discipline, meaning nothing more than 'no', but it must be intended to sting / hurt just a little because otherwise what would the child take from it? I dunno

I personally have not had to deal with this yet as Anna is too young to be naughty, really as such... When the time comes we will be using time out. I don't think she is too young as it won't be a time to reflect on what she has done, just a calm, collected and immediate reaction from me to her doing anything wrong - she won't like it because she will be excluded and children don't like that, but she will associate it with what she did eventually because it will fallow immediately every time she does that thing. I'll have to be really consistent for her to learn from it, though obviously.

It is a personal choice very much so, and although I would not use smacking as a form of discipline with Anna, for some it clearly works very well or nobody would do it. As a first time mum, you're very much just feeling your way around - I'm sure you will find something that works for both of you in your own time Good luck x

 

[Wobbles]

oh christ i just read my post it sound really bad, i wrote she doesnt cry..... i dont wan her to cry i just want her to understand, that she is doing something that can be dangerous xxxx

lol bless ya - i knew what you mean

This is what I mean I don't want this thread twisted thats why I won't let it x