I don't tap on the hand / bum and don't think I will... I have the same issues / feelings about as you do Wobbles, I just wouldn't feel comfortable. Another thing is, when you use 'tapping' as a form of discipline, I believe the child would find it hard to distinguish between discipline because something is naughty or dangerous and anger from the parent because often when you say "no" you can sound angry, not because you are necessarily but because it is important for the child to know you are serious, if you know what I mean? So
I believe that all a child could take from that is that when you are angry you hit. And I assume that you use tap to distinguish between a real slap that would leave a mark and be abusive and a controlled tap of discipline, meaning nothing more than 'no', but it must be intended to sting / hurt just a little because otherwise what would the child take from it? I dunno
I personally have not had to deal with this yet as Anna is too young to be naughty, really as such... When the time comes we will be using time out. I don't think she is too young as it won't be a time to reflect on what she has done, just a calm, collected and
immediate reaction from me to her doing anything wrong - she won't like it because she will be excluded and children don't like that, but she will associate it with what she did eventually because it will fallow immediately every time she does that thing. I'll have to be really consistent for her to learn from it, though obviously.
It is a personal choice very much so, and although I would not use smacking as a form of discipline with Anna, for some it clearly works very well or nobody would do it. As a first time mum, you're very much just feeling your way around - I'm sure you will find something that works for both of you in your own time
Good luck x