Do you think CC/CIO is wrong?

[oliviarose]

I don't agree with CIO. But we have used CC. Harrison will not fall asleep in your arms. You cannot rock him to sleep. He doesn't take a dummy. Nothing worked to get him to sleep.

So I just bit the bullet and knew I had to get him to learn how to sleep on his own. He will have a moan. I usually leave him 5 mins and if I know he isn't going to settle, I will go in to comfort him. But having a moan is harrisons way of getting to sleep. He always goes to sleep very quickly. He will wake on the night moaning (no crying) and he just goes back off to sleep.

This works for us and I understand not everybody agrees with it. I feel that it is important for my babies to be able to settle themselves off to sleep. Luckily it has worked for is quite easily. If he had really kicked up a fuss I would of had to find a different method.

If it is working for you, don't listen to other people.

 

[minties]

Any form of controlled crying is not reccomended before 9 months as far as I knew!

For myself and Thomas it is wrong and I would never do it.

 

[moomin momma]

I can't bring myself to do it to Lucy. If she's crying, I've found there's ALWAYS a reason. Maybe it's different once they get older, but I definitely don't think it's right for small babies.

My Mum did CIO to me (and keeps saying I should do it to Lucy), but not the version where you go in every so often to check on them, the version where I was just left to wail for ages. I have a rubbish relationship with her and have never felt close to her or like I could go to her. Not saying CIO is solely responsible for that but I want to do everything I can to help Lucy have a better relationship with me when she's older so don't want to risk it

 

[Nibblenic]

Im not really a fan of CIO especially for any child under 1 year
I didnt really do CC but deffinately would have.

I think all children need to be sleep trained so they can self settle. I have a friend who as never sleep trained and allowed to fall asleep on the sofa next to someone until she was 8 years old and at 27 she still cannot get herself off to sleep if not one is in bed with her. Since her OH does night shift that was a big problem.

With regaurd to waking for a dummy. If they arent old enough to find it themselves and put it back in we did the gettingup for a dummy thing but once she was old enough to find it we stopped. Hope that helps

 

[LittleBoo]

No I don't think it's wrong, it worked for us.

 

[Mrs IKW]

I am very much against CIO. I can see how in extreme circumstances then CC might be an only option if LO just wont settle but I think PUPD would be my preference.

The above is only my opinion and each Mummy has to do what they feel is right for them and their LO but CIO etc just isnt for me. It would break my heart and it makes me sad when I hear about it. A friend has a 3 month old and wrote on FB that shes started sleep training and leaving her LO to cry. I very nicely and politely said its best to wait till LO is 6 months before CIO etc and recommended askdrsears.com as she was asking for advice...

 

[Tanikit]

I can't use either method but don't think they are wrong - my baby cries in the car on longish journeys and there is nothing I can do about it - she doesnt need anything as I feed and change her before I go out. Usually she falls asleep after a long cry but I do not like it and would not choose to do it at home.

We did CC with my first DD at 6 months but it didnt work and upset me, so I stopped and rocked her to sleep til she was 2 years old. She slept through the night after 2 and can settle herself back to sleep fine. I thini every mother and baby is different and will have to find what works for them.

 

[BethK]

We did CC with LO to get her to self settle after 6 months old.

It only took 3 days and she only cried for 3 minutes at the most. Also made sure it was just a tired whingy cry rather than an 'i need you' cry.

I wouldn't do CIO though.

 

[charlotte-xo]

As i understand it from reading posts from members on here theydont use CC or CIO unless they absoloutely have to. It must be heartbreaking to hear your baby cry, i dont like it when people do it for the fact that they want LO to self settle instead of rocking, holding them to sleep but when their LO's find it hard to drift off at all then thats when i can understand why they would use it iykwim providing babies well over 6-8 months old. I wont personally ever do it as i just know i couldnt

 

[brunette&bubs]

Before having James I thought I'd be really against it...
But as soon as I put him down without his paci its just whinging and fussing, no real crying or tears for about 10-15 min until he falls asleep.
SOOOO, it hasn't been too difficult or heartbreaking.
I think if he was really crying or was just hysterical it would be something different and much harder to deal with for me

 

[Sazzoire]

I wouldn't do CIO but have just done CC and I am sooooo glad we did!! She was waking up at 3am (ish) and then whinging solidly for 1.5 hrs on average...every night! We were exhausted! There was no reason for her to be awake, ie, hungry, wet etc. It really was a last resort but really worked for us. It took about 4 nights and about 15 mins on average per night, in total....

I don't think it's appropiate for small babies but at 12.5 months, Lucy was definately ready with no physcolgical (sp?) damage..imho. She wakes up happy, alert and ready for action. We do too.


xxx

 

[blinkybaby]

Nope! I don't think they are wrong, just not something I would ever do. (assuming we are talking over 6 months here, under 6 months IS wrong). CIO I would never do, CC I would consider as a last resort.

xxx

 

[Natsku]

I don't really like CIO (although I did it without meaning too when she was screaming so I was trying to take her out in the pram as that always calms here but she screamed for a few mins til she passed out while I was rushing to get dressed. Felt pretty horrible about it and had to resist the urge to wake her up again to cuddle her!)

I don't think CC is as bad and can see why people would use that. I have to do shh pat because Maria won't fall asleep in my arms unless she's so exhausted that she screams herself to sleep in my arms, so I have to put her in her bed to get her to sleep (or the pram and I bounce it). No chance of getting rid of her dummy yet and she usually wakes for it several times in the night but I just have to lean over my bed to give it to her so that doesn't bother me but it would be different if she was sleeping in another room.

I also couldn't do CIO cos we only have one room as she is so loud! I'd go deaf!

 

[brunette&bubs]

Nope! I don't think they are wrong, just not something I would ever do. (assuming we are talking over 6 months here, under 6 months IS wrong). CIO I would never do, CC I would consider as a last resort.

xxx

Can I ask why you think under 6 months is wrong?
James is 5 months

 

[Lellow]

Its wrong if thats your first choice method of sleep training...

However if all other avenues have been tried, tested and failed and your literally at the end of your tether then CC is acceptable...but again only as a last resort!

Ive never tried CIO - Never had to thankfully....But i imagine that its the most difficult thing a mother could choose to do, id like to think that this is only done in really extreme situations!

I dont judge anyone who has chosen these methods tho, as it must be a hard choice to make to do either of these, mainly CIO!

 

[KatelynsMummy]

IMO they are wrong, no-one at any age should be left to cry, ever. It breaks my heart to think people can just leave their children to cry, yes it must be hard but surely the instinct should take over that voice in your head telling you to leave them?

Not judging, just non of them are for me, i more of a cuddly mummy so as soon as my LO cries or gets upset, i pick her up and have cuddles

 

[lilly77]

OP - if you're on 2nd day and its going well, persevere!! you are doing great! i did cc on my 7 month old son (he is now 8 yrs old) and it was the best thing we ever did - he slept through on the third night and has done ever since.
i had terrible issues with him from birth, he was an unhappy baby with acute colic for the first few months, we even took him to a&e one day after him crying 7 hrs straight, took him to cranial osteopath which didn't help at all... and he woke up every hour and half throughout day and night until we did CC.
Research has shown it does NOT cause any psychological problems with the child - my relationship with my son has always been extremely close (he is from a previous relationship) and now he is just the best behaved boy in the world and has no sleep issues whatsoever, CC literally saved my sanity.

Good luck! x

 

[lilly77]

ps IMO people who think CC is wrong obviously have never had to deal with a baby like I did. If it comes to the mother literally going crazy with sleep deprivation and constant screaming for months on end then there's no question.. it really does work.

 

[RileysMummy]

I never thought we'd do either and i still wouldnt do cio..but we're trying cc now. I hate so much that we're doing this and i spent most the night crying lastnight but Millicent is going through a needy stage. My fault really, ive been so tired lately then when shes woke crying ive got her into bed with us as i know she'll sleep, now when she wakes she wants me i'm crap, wish we didnt have to do it but lastnight she settled after 5 mins and later on 10 mins, so she did good. Know we'll have to do the same tonight which im dreading

that was a ramble x

 

[lozzy21]

I dont agree with CIO or even CC is wrong. The only reason i belive a baby should be left to cry is if the mother finds herself getting fustated and needs 5 mins to calm down and compose herself. The only form of sleep training i would use is PUDP.

Babys cry because they need us, we are all they know and everything else is scary and confusing. I want to teach my children that mammy will allways be there for them no matter what.

Put it this way, im work with adults with disability's and if i left a client at work crying because they need to learn to sooth themselves i would be getting pulled in for a disciplinary for emotional abuse.

CIO babys dont stop crying because they have learnt to self settle, they dont cry because they know no one is coming.