Does anyone else worry that....

[calm]

Yes, you are right, I am sorry, and its not the first time I have to be careful, I get people mixed up. It was iwantbebebad that said the list that I put in your DH mouth. I don't want to judge, I don't want to make some people in baddies and others in goodies, I just want you to live the life you want and not be held back xxxx

 

[lilmissmup]

Aww hun don't worry I took your advice well anyway.

I am trying not to stress about it but its hard, at least I have here

 

[mikababy]

Sorry to hear that your OH is being 'resistant' to the idea of TTC. For what it's worth, my DH is 37 and only just ready after 5 years!

I hate to ask this, but have you asked him outright "do you want to be a father?". If so, does he want a child 'one day' i.e it is still a possibility, just not yet. Or, 'not at all'.

 

[lilmissmup]

Its just not yet, if it was not ever I wouldn't stay with him as I want to be a mother.

I know he would make a great dad which is another thing that annoys me too!

 

[mikababy]

Well... I guess that is at least something positive. I know of 2 women who married in their 30s and then were told by their husbands that they never wanted children and that was absolutely devastating for them.

Although, it really isn't fair of your OH to get your hopes up and then dash them, however well intentioned. Perhaps explain to him that he just needs to be more sensitive and not tell you (or give the impression) that he wants to TTC unless he is absolutely serious about it himself.

(Again, I have a friend that secretly wants to get married, but her OH is perpetually joking about marriage and making 'mock' proposals, and it really makes her up and down).

This probably sounds really drastic, but you could always plan a round the world trip if he wants to do 'other' things that make him feel that he has 'lived' a bit more.

 

[calm]

I must say, I havent really tried BCP, I did but before I had sexual relations, for my spots, and I started a different post about if anyone had ever got pregnant when not TTC, and many did on the pill, I am really surprised that it happens so much, if it did happen to you, you would certainly be one in many.

 

[Winter Belle]

Aww hon, I'm sorry to hear OH is being so difficult. I think a lot of it does come down to the age old story of a woman becoming a mother as soon as they become pregnant where as the man doesn't become a father until he holds his newborn baby. Men just can't see the bigger picture until it is right in front of them.

my OH has moments just like this. One day he'll be really positive about babies, the next it will be a 'not yet' with no discussion. but when he is being honest he says it really is just a fear of his life changing. He likes what he has now and thinks a child will take it all away. he also can't see the good that the child may actually bring to our lives.

I'm hoping to come off BCP after we get married in August this year. this probably wont be a joint decision though. I have had a rough year with the pill and just want a break from it, so it will be a case of telling OH that it's now his turn to start preventing as I've been doing it for the last 6 years!

Has your OH said what specifically he wants to do before having a child? Perhaps it is just fear of such a responsibility that is holding him back. I started the conversation with "In an ideal world would you have any children?" I'm afraid I didn't get a good answer but my OH was at least honest and we could begin talking from there.

I really hope your OH makes things more clear soon as it really isn't fair on you to have to deal with all this uncertainty.

 

[lilmissmup]

Hi Girls,

I haven't been on here since last weekend so thanks for the messages again.

Mika, thats the problem, I am like well what do you want to do then and he says he doesn't know!

I have decided I am not going to discuss it anymore with him for a while and just see what happens.

He turned 30 on Thursday, maybe he will suddenly decide to grow up.

 

[lozzy21]

Littlemissmup can i use my oh to hit your oh with?

 

[lilmissmup]

Yep!!!! Maybe we should lock them in a room with cute baby videos playing 24 hours a day until they give in

 

[lozzy21]

I think we should just put a needle into there balls and get the sperm out and impregnant ourself's.

 

[lilmissmup]

LOL. Thats a slightly more direct approach

 

[lozzy21]

Quicker!

 

[kate.m.]

Hi,
This time last year i could have written ur 1st post myself! Baby mad, on the pill, scared that if i got pregnant he would think i tricked him into it. Well, guess what? I did get pregnant on the pill! & because of those silly irrational guilty feelings i was having (& other reasons too), i convinced myself that a termination was the best option- to prove i hadnt tricked him! (gotta say here- he didnt think i had tricked him, not even for a moment! It was just my silly brain thinking of the worst case!)

 

[lozzy21]

Stick in there hun, it was only friday that i was calling my OH everything under the sun for not giving me a date and on sat i got one. Persivere (sp?) and things will work out.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

i worry about this all the time. I am completly useless at taking mine on time/at all during the day. I always tell him straight away when that's the case.

I really HATE when people assume that I am skipping on purpose! I'll ask someone for advice and they get all on me about "how irresponsible! How can you do that? That's backstabbing!" and telling me that if I am trying to get pregnant that I should jsut stop taking them all together! What is it? My age? Up yours. You sir, suck.

Not saying that to you guys....jsut ranting in general. I mean, here I am, worrying about my LIFE'S DIRECTION and you're gonna pull that crap? Pft...assholes....