Does anyone want visitors after delivery?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Jaylynne, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. Jaylynne

    Jaylynne Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    3,700
    Likes Received:
    0
    So, I've been reading all the nightmare threads about overbearing family wanting the delivery experience to be about them and totally ignore what the new mom wants, and that's perfectly fine to deny the drama for a bit to bond. But, does anyone want family there after you've recovered a bit and bonded with baby (as in a few hours after birth if no complications)? I don't have really overbearing family and I really like my inlaws so I don't think I'd mind having SHORT visits where they can see the new addition. I'm thinking a few at a time and about 20 min each as I'm sure I'll be exhausted and will want more time myself to bond.

    Anyone else not mind having family over a few hours after delivery?
     
  2. youngmommy2

    youngmommy2 Guest

    Ill be having everyone in the hospital to visit instead of when i get home.. I want to have baby all to myself and concentrate on him and his needs instead of my guests when i return home.
     
  3. victorial8

    victorial8 Mummy to Freya

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2010
    Messages:
    2,835
    Likes Received:
    45
    I would like my parents and brother to come visit straight away but can't be bothered with the in laws coming in :( hopefully I will be so happy and wanting to show off our little girl I won't mind x x
     
  4. erikab922

    erikab922 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2011
    Messages:
    3,969
    Likes Received:
    1
    Not really, which is why we chose a hospital clear on the other side of the county from where my UK relatives live!

    I hate hate hate being the center of attention and so does my OH so we just want it to be us. We're getting married next week and were just going to have it be the two of us until we realised we needed two witnesses, so we very reluctantly are allowing 10 relatives to be there. They're all excited but really in our hearts we still wish it was just us, and we feel the same way about the birth.
     
  5. Maybe1daysoon

    Maybe1daysoon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    787
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have a big family as well as sorority sisters, additionally OH has lots of friends and family too. so I will have the maximum of 5 in the delivery room and another 10 probably in the waiting room... all I can do is pray that everything goes well lol.
     
  6. Jaylynne

    Jaylynne Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
    3,700
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh, I just want me and DH in the delivery room! No way I want a crowd!
     
  7. MissJennayee

    MissJennayee Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2011
    Messages:
    198
    Likes Received:
    0
    I do :) I have a big, supportive, tight knit family and I would die if my dad, my brother, his wife, and my close girlfriends didn't come visit me, I've already promised my mother she could be in the delivery room with me.
    I want to share this experience with everyone as I'd want them to share with me, plus I can't wait to show my beautiful bundle off :)
     
  8. Cazlabump

    Cazlabump Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2011
    Messages:
    761
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ive not really given it much thought, i suppose i should haha. i'll get back to you! x
     
  9. 1stimemomma

    1stimemomma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    325
    Likes Received:
    0
    I plan on having my immediate family there, but not in the room....only my OH and maybe my mom. All my family is welcome and encouraged to come if they want but I have peace of mind knowing that I'M the one admitted to the hospital and that it's MY and MY babies room and if anything gets outta hand that's what the waiting room is for and the nurses can deside if they want to deal with them or not. But I am planning on having my baby shower AFTER we have our baby and it will be more like a huge family get together a couple weeks after we get home. That way everyone can come at once and see our baby and we can have a lot of fun. But personally I want the delivery to be intimate and really just care that my OH and mom are there. Of course I want OH's family there just not in the room and like I said if I'm too tired to deal that's what the waiting room is for. LOL
     
  10. bumpbear

    bumpbear First time mama

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2011
    Messages:
    3,306
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sadly, its not an option for me to have anyone visit because they live half way across the world.

    If I was having the baby in the UK, I would be gutted if all our siblings and parents didnt visit the hospital on day 1 to welcome our baby in to the family (after we'd had a couple of hours to ourselves of course).

    Last summer, I flew home to the UK a couple of weeks before my sister's due date just so I could be there to see my niece on the day she was born. I also ended up extending my stay so I could help her out for the first few days (Im the only person in the world who understands her exacting cleaning expectations around the house). That's what families are there for!

    The delivery room is just for me and OH though - and the waiting room would also be off limits to family whilst I am in labour. I cant think of anything worse than having family eagerly waiting outside while I am in the worst pain of my life ever.
     
  11. PegLeg2na

    PegLeg2na Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,185
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just me and OH in the delivery room! We absolutely HATE being the center of attention (plus I don't want anyone else seeing my vag!). Still don't know if we'll have family visit in the hospital. I'm thinking probably yes if they want to make the trip, otherwise maybe later? I like the idea of having the baby shower after the birth and making it a family get-together.
     
  12. 1stimemomma

    1stimemomma Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Messages:
    325
    Likes Received:
    0
    The delivery room is just for me and OH though - and the waiting room would also be off limits to family whilst I am in labour. I cant think of anything worse than having family eagerly waiting outside while I am in the worst pain of my life ever.[/QUOTE]

    That's exactly how I feel!!! I think it would be a bit distracting. I'm not too sure how I'd be feeling afterwards as this is my first pregnancy, but if all goes well, and when the hard work's done, then bring on the friends and family!!!
     
  13. pooch

    pooch Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2011
    Messages:
    2,220
    Likes Received:
    43
    my one SIL isn't able to get pregnant and she said this weekend that she wants to be in the delivery room during the birth because it will be the closest she will get to having one of her own...how can you say no to that? i would much rather people visit me in the hospital (all family members are either 3 or 4 hours away) then gone when i go home. i really don't want people at my house when i return home with the new baby, plus i have 3 dogs that we're going to hvae to deal with getting used to the baby (they're all momma's boys). the last thing i want is 3 more opinions telling me what to do and how to do it.
     
  14. Mon_n_john

    Mon_n_john Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2,861
    Likes Received:
    1
    I don't want anyone there but me and my DH. Its our time to be alone with our new baby.
     
  15. twilliamssbt

    twilliamssbt Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2011
    Messages:
    779
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am booked to have Elective C Section, so only fiance (then husband) will be allowed in theatre with me.

    I lost my mum last year and don't speak to my dad, but have aunties and cousins that will visit in hospital which I am very happy with.

    In Laws will come see us as soon as they are allowed to, and I really don't mind them coming. As will sister in law.

    Friends will probably wait till I get home unless my hospital stay is longer than 48 hrs, in which case a couple of really close friends will come visit me, they may come anyway, depending on how I feel.

    As things stand atm, due to us seling a house 110 miles from where we want to be, we will probably be staying with in laws, I really don't mind visitors, and they don't either. 12 days after baby is due to be delivered by c section, in laws go on a 10 night cruise anyway, so that time is our alone time I think. I would rather have visitors tbh, after a c section with my reduced mobility anyway, it will be nice to have extra people around so that fiance is not just waiting on me and looking after house, he will actually be able to sit down and spend some time with me and baby.
     
  16. addie140910

    addie140910 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,051
    Likes Received:
    0
    All of my family lives in the states, and we are living in Korea and so there will sadly probably be no visitors. My step mom wanted to fly out for the birth, but she is so busy and I do not know if she will have someone to watch the kids for the amount of time she would be here (she has been trying to find someone for 2 months now, as my dad has to work and works out of state). (She is raising my step sisters kids)

    If she is able to fly out then i just want her and OH in the delivery room. I wouldn't want a huge crowd as I hate attention and would not be able to deal with the drama and the comments that I am sure would be made. Aside from the fact that my birth mom and step dad and brother do not get along at all with my dad step mom and step sisters.

    Just my personal preference though.
     
  17. SAJ

    SAJ cautiously pregnant

    Joined:
    May 7, 2010
    Messages:
    708
    Likes Received:
    0
    DH will be the only one with me in the delivery room. When I had my son I had an entourage of dr's, nurses, and 2 EMTs in training (to deliver babies; they just observed) so I couldn't have imagined any additional people in there. Plus, I don't want my cookie out for family members to see...no matter how much pain I'm in. As for after the birth, I'd prefer if my inlaws waited til the next day to visit, but I highly doubt I could be so lucky....
     
  18. SouthernC

    SouthernC Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    1,006
    Likes Received:
    0
    Whoever wants to come to the hospital is more than welcome, I would prefer they all come to the hospital then when I get home.
     
  19. AngelUK

    AngelUK Mummy of twin boys

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,355
    Likes Received:
    2,411
    Gosh I could have written this! One of the main reasons why we are not getting married is cause we don't want ppl there with us. We both hate being the centre of attention and don't want a Do and feel that could it just be the two of us it would be so much more romantic. But I know that several members of my family and my best friend would be wounded to the soul if I got married without them and her there. So we just won't.

    As for the birth, only OH is allowed in at the birth and even there I am uneasy cause I am worried he will be so shocked/freaked/grossed out at what happens during birth, he will never want to look at me again sorta thing. Probably silly but then that is me lol.

    My mum wants to come from Switzerland and stay to help for a week or so. But we have no space for her really and the idea of her being in a hotel feels wrong too. I am worried I might need her help but I also think I would like to try and muddle on on my own first and bond with my babies. Saying that, if visitors only came for an hour or so once we are home, that would be fine :)

    Edit: But there is no way I am going to breastfeed with an audience there! Huh-uh, no!
     
  20. DaisyBee

    DaisyBee Mom of 2

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2009
    Messages:
    8,993
    Likes Received:
    0
    Before Megan was born I said I didn't want any visitors, even at home. I wanted everyone to stay away and wanted tons of bonding time. Once she was born I changed my mind and realized that because of my attitude before birth, people really didn't feel like they should come visit or come help out. So this time I've realiZed that I probably do want visitors and help the first few weeks. I was so worried about family overstepping or overstaying that they weren't around as much as I wanted. This time I will be telling them that I do want them to come, and they are welcome whenever... As I realize that they won't overstay or overstep.

    Inlaws did come visit the next day at the hospital and I was happy to have them there. Megan was born at 6:16pm and there is no way I would have been up for visitors that evening. I was exhausted and those first hours were so special with just the 3 of us.

    If this baby is born early in the day then I can see having visitors later in the day though.

    I only had dh during labor and delivery and feel the same this time. It was great bonding for me and dh. I wouldn't have felt as comfortable with anyone else there.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice