does this annoy anyone else?

[ChuggaBump]

i know its my choice to bf, and i havent been expressing cos i was worried about nipple confusion and cos i like bf-ing, and dh isnt fussed about being able to feed lo with bottles. so its my choice to exclusively bf and never have a 'night off'.

but it annoys me a bit when friends complain about how tired they are and cant wait for the weekened when their oh can do the nights and they can have a 'night off', or when their mum can have lo for the day to 'give them a break'.

i haven't had a 'night off' or a 'break' in 3 months and I don't even want one so I don't know why it annoys me! just wondered if anyone else felt the same!

 

[Tacey]

I agree, but what is worse for me is when my friends get annoyed at me for not going out with them. They all express, but Alice has never taken a bottle, and I've never forced the issue. They seem to think I'm overly fussy for staying in with her.

 

[lyre]

as you said, its your choice. My lo doesnt take bottles either and I would like a break sometimes, but not enough to force the issue, so i kind of see your point, but its not your friends issue.

 

[anothersquish]

it annoys me that people think I WANT time off....like "Oh poor you breastfeeding and not being able to get a break" I dont want a "break"???? My children arent a chore or a job, I dont need a night out drinking or a night without feeding, I ENJOY taking my baby out with us when we go for a meal or whatever. Why people must assume babies get in the way I dont know. I did choose to have children and I do choose to get up every night as many times a night as Im needed because Im a mum....its not a friggin prison sentence!

Rant over LOL Ive got an evil cold today

 

[Christine1993]

it annoys me that people think I WANT time off....like "Oh poor you breastfeeding and not being able to get a break" I dont want a "break"???? My children arent a chore or a job, I dont need a night out drinking or a night without feeding, I ENJOY taking my baby out with us when we go for a meal or whatever. Why people must assume babies get in the way I dont know. I did choose to have children and I do choose to get up every night as many times a night as Im needed because Im a mum....its not a friggin prison sentence!

Rant over LOL Ive got an evil cold today

I totally agree. people say this to me all the time!! They sound like breastfeeding is a chore, and to me it's really really not. It's just part of our lifestyle now which me and Aidan enjoy. I think that breastfeeding is mine and Aidan's little 'break', our time to chill out watching TV, lying in bed or just me reading him a story.

anothersquish, i've got the cold too, it sucks

 

[The Missus]

It bugs me that I am really tired (of course!) but if I moan to my friends they immediately blame the fact I'm BF and start with the "you've done really well...but you need to have a break...it's time to stop..." etc. I'm sure they think they're helping and think the only reason I BF is because I've got some weird guilty hang-ups they need to persuade me to let go of.

I always have remind everyone that
a) I love BF
b)yes I feed 3 times a night but I'd probably have to do that anyway and this way I hardly have to get out of bed
c) it's pretty unlikely my DH would take over the night shift even if he could!

 

[ChuggaBump]

it annoys me that people think I WANT time off....like "Oh poor you breastfeeding and not being able to get a break" I dont want a "break"???? My children arent a chore or a job, I dont need a night out drinking or a night without feeding, I ENJOY taking my baby out with us when we go for a meal or whatever. Why people must assume babies get in the way I dont know. I did choose to have children and I do choose to get up every night as many times a night as Im needed because Im a mum....its not a friggin prison sentence!

Rant over LOL Ive got an evil cold today

I totally agree. people say this to me all the time!! They sound like breastfeeding is a chore, and to me it's really really not. It's just part of our lifestyle now which me and Aidan enjoy. I think that breastfeeding is mine and Aidan's little 'break', our time to chill out watching TV, lying in bed or just me reading him a story.

anothersquish, i've got the cold too, it sucks

That's exactly how I see it. I love it! I really don't want a break at all... I think that's what annoys me - the fact they want a break and I think, hang on a minute, didn't you want this baby?! Cos I really honestly don't feel jealous of them at all having their OHs giving them night offs - if anything I feel like it's a shame for them not to get to feed their baby every time. So I really don't know why it bugs me. Lack of sleep making me grumpy I guess!

 

[kerrie24]

I always have remind everyone that
a) I love BF
b)yes I feed 3 times a night but I'd probably have to do that anyway and this way I hardly have to get out of bed
c) it's pretty unlikely my DH would take over the night shift even if he could!

This is what I try to explain to people,my oh gets up at 4.15am for work and I wouldnt expect him to get up (even if he gets up with my older daughter I cant sleep till shes settled anyway) and that quiet time feeding through the night was some of my favourite,especially as everything is so hectic during the day when you have more than one child.

 

[kerrie24]

Just forgot to add aswel, it does my head in when my mam or grandma say "are you feeding the baby yourself?" Erm,even if the baby took a bottle Id still feed it 'myself',its my baby why should I hand it to someone else to feed?!

 

[Mrs Muffin]

I agree to all of the above

 

[ellie]

yeah, although it kind of doesnt annoy me as much as it makes me feel that they think im not doing a good enough job?
i do have moments where i'd like a break, but im committed and they pass fairly quickly replaced with thoughts about how id hate to not be bf'ing! i enjoy our special times, theyre like nuggets of peace and quiet and if ever I think i need to be doing other things I immediately remember how quickly time is going and I wont always have this, a cliche but i'll never 'get this time back'. So I enjoy it and dont pressure anyone to get the EBM down him (i secretly like it that he's not keen on taking it)

 

[angelstardust]

When Amber was breast fed I used to get 'oh I can't wait till we can have her overnight once your not feeding her anymore'. Well since I stopped breast feeding she has been away twice and I hated every last second of it! Was DH that forced me into it so we could go out for a meal.

Also, DH has never done a night feed, even when formula feeding (or with the boys, sorry, he tried once with DS1). I actually like night feeds, a special time when it's just mummy and baby.

 

[Bec L]

So agree with these comments! I don't get the whole thing of people saying, 'I need some me time, I need a break etc etc.' What about enjoying your babies while they are little, because it won't last long!!

 

[Seraphim]

It doesn't annoy me, but I do feel a fish outta water about it.

I guess I don't say 'No I love it' because I second guess that they'd think I'm lying/over compensating or crazy

MIL mentioned 'if only I had a pram I could take her out and give you a break' - I almost choked to a violent death.

I have one best friend who keeps saying 'poor you' etc... but it's meant kindly, her sister had a rough time with her LO so she now thinks we're all ready to top ourselves because of babies