Don't know what I want

[x-amy-x]

dunno if this is in the right section or not... we're not ttc yet... but I dont even know if i want to tbh

feeling so crap today... have cracked open the malibu, doubt it'll make me feel any better but it tastes nice and allows me to be a little more honest with maself!

im absolutely terrified of getting pregnant again... ive lost 2 of my little girls. I clearly dont do being pregnant very well this isnt how id planned things. I should have 2 gorgeous little girls now (caitlyn and evie) instead ive got caitlyn and 2 angels. Im so grateful for the time i got with them but why did they have to go. And after seeing darcie and her fight for life, i dont know how i could cope with ever putting a baby through that again.... even though they wont remember it was torture for me.

I want another baby... i just dont think i can do it

 

[Vickieh1981]

Awww sweetie. I am sorry you are feeling this way.

I know I didn't lose Isabella as late as you lost your girls but I felt this way too - not sure if I wanted to try again because I couldn't bear the pain of burying another baby.

I can't help you as only you can decide how to go forward and whether to try again so I shall just send you hugs.

 

[strawberry19]

hun i didnt want to read and run but i dont really know what to say i cant imagine how hard it is for you. all i can suggest is dont start ttc until you feel ready to do so emotionally and physically and then maybe start thinking about ttc again if you feel ready too. if it helps i suppose you could talk to a doctor or other proffessional about the chances of anything happening again and things.. i really do hope it works out for you
xx

 

[x-amy-x]

the pain i put everyone through isnt fair... if only my body would work out what its supposed to do

we have our consultant appointment on 28th...doubt there'll be much she's gonna do next time though. I cant bear the thought of having 3 memorial plaques on that baby wall at the crem. I feel like such a failure

xx

 

[dawny690]

Amy babe its not your fault this happened life is a cruel bitch sometimes and always to the best people you do whatever you think is best and when your ready and make sure if you do decide to try again that the doctors will help you xxxx

 

[Blah11]

Oh hun, it must be so difficult for you I was thinking about this the other day (not you personally, just in general) and it must be so difficult to decide whether to give it another go.
Was there any reason you had premature births or was it just random?


p.s. not your fault at all and you're no way a failure.

 

[x-amy-x]

we dont know.. they assumed it was random with evie... but twice cant be random

 

[cazza22]

Oh huny i am so sorry for ur losses, i was with u in September Stars but I lost my bean at just over 9 weeks, I cannot imagine what you are going through losing Darcie. U are such a strong woman to get through both these horrendous loses Amy u really. U can only do what feels right to you, nothing will ever replace ur girls but one day u might find the strength to try again & u should get care to make sure this Never happens again, ur right there's no way this can just b a random thing if it happened twice & ur Doc should be well aware of that now surely?? I will be thinking of u kn the 28th sweet pea I hope u get some answers sending massive lov Caz x x x x pm if u ever need a shoulder Hun x

 

[meow951]

I think it will take time before you can make a decision. I haven't been through what you have but when i lost my bean i decided not to make definate decisions and put pressure on myself. Basically it was if/when we decided.

I haven't got much advice but i can't imagine what you're going through, it breaks my heart to read some of your stories and yet you're always there to be supportive and offer advice to other people.