DS may have speech and behavioural issues :( UPDATE PG5 :)

[OmarsMum]

He sounds exactly like my cousin who'll be 2 yrs after 3 weeks. He used to say few words few months back but now he points & uses gestures instead of words. He throws tantrums all day, but he's physically advanced & he understands alot. His attention spam is very short, & he doesnt like to sit still to play or look into books.

My aunt is not concerned about his speech or behaviour as her eldest daughter didnt start to use words until she was almost 3 yrs & her speech wasnt clear until she was 5 yrs old. Now at 12 yrs she's an A student & she talks using two languages.

Her second daughter had no attention spam at the age of 2, she used to have the worst tantrums all day, she used to drive her parents crazy as they didnt know how to deal with her. Now she's 10 yrs, she doesnt have any behavioural issues, she's a quiet girl & very sweet.

Try not to worry hun, he's still too young to assume he has problems.

 

[Dragonfly]

We are going to start tying out(or do better with the stuf we already do) all your suggestions!

We actually started using some signs to see if it helped him letting us know what he was needing or what was wrong,but again he forgot these pretty quick.

With his tantrums we used to take him through to his room,explain that what he was doing was wrong and tell him to stay there till he calmed down and wed walk away.We also used the distraction alot too but that often made things worse.

We praise him whenever we possibly can,even if its a simple thing like gently putting his cup down instead of chucking it or saying thank you when giving a biscuit.

I know its gonna take some work but Im willing to do all I possibly can to help him.

Tonight's melt down was in the bath where he ended up hitting his head and got even more hysterical and was gagging/boaking on his saliva all because we asked him to sit down.I honestly think everytime we speak to him he thinks we are giving him into trouble!!

Poor mite

He is sensitive and I dont mean pain wise like the bath hitting him he took that hard and was inconsolable. Two books that may help explain more, Jan Hunts parenting from the heart and Alfie Kohns unconditional parenting. They may give you some ideas and insight possibly.
With thinking he is in trouble a lot and getting upset he may feel insecure and on edge because of it. Even look in to his diet to that can effect behavior.

 

[JakesMummy]

I'm on my phone so no the best reply, I'll add more tomorrow.

But I honestly don't think Autism plays a part here, from what I have read. It sounds like the speech is what's causing all this frustration and the not understanding instructions is hindering his speech, which you're aware of.

My story is very similar. My boy is now 2 years 9 months. At te age of 2, he had so many tantrums, couldn't speak, attention was non-existent and I found myself getting so frustrated too as all the other children he knew were going forward whereas I felt he was struggling. At his 2 year check he was referred fornspeech therapy. Took a while to be seen. He is still attending listening and attention lessons but he has come a long way by himself, without help. I believe he needs time and he's now speaking 6 word sentences.

Back then I knew something wasn't quite right. But in fact, all it was was that he took just that bit longer to learn and I had to repeat, repeat, repeat words all day long!

He went back a bit when Amelia was born, but soon changed again.

Sorry I went off on a tangent there with a story, but wanted to share so you don't feel as bad. Even now, Jake still struggles with some things and attention won't be great until 4 years old, probably! But once he started preschool, he improved too.
It sure takes a patient mummy and daddy!

 

[MadameJ]

You have no idea how much it means to have all your stories and opinions and advice.

Don't get me wrong we get plenty support from family and friends but its hard because some don't have kids,or if they do they are child genius's ha.

Im reading up on lots of different things now,signing,different activities that can make him more confident with his speech and things to help him understand things we ask him.

Iam not exactly the smartest and was always in the bottom groups in school and I got no help and I can't help but think If I had a bit of help I would have strived to have done better after school but instead settled for the only thing I was good at.In saying that with no extra help I still managed an A, 2 B's and 2 C's.I DON'T want that for my kids,I want them to never feel they can't do something.

So do you think the speech therapy won't do any harm,wither he needs it or not??What sort of things are involved in speech therapy???

 

[Dragonfly]

I think it can do no harm thats why i am sending mine there to see what they say. Even my brother was at speech therapy years ago and he is fine now 34 years later and most my aunts kids where sent there and none have autism and all grown up now. Can be fun for them to and get you in to reading and them having fun with books and words.

Also I have nothing when I left school in fact you have more than me but qualifications do not make you a smart person life experience does. Dont let any one make you feel stupid for not knowing something, until we know better we cant do better. You came here for help that says a lot. We all want our kids to do better than us and will try to help them you sound like a great mum.


And your child is a genius cant you see that?

 

[MadameJ]

Leo and Lexie are perfect in my eye's and I will never let anyone tell me any different!Even if he does have some issues he is always going to make me proud to be his mummy.

Right now he's snuggled up next to me getting his back tickled.

 

[Snowball]

He sounds very similar to Ozzie. I find the tantrums are more to do with frustration over him not being able to vocalise what he wants. He only says a few words and he only mastered 'no' in the past week (although fast becoming a favourite ).

 

[Dimples81]

Has he had hearing tests? Hearing imperfections are also important to take into account at this age when thinking about communication issues.

In Early Years incomplete hearing tends to be more of a cause of lack of speech than actual speech problems. Surrounding them in a language/vocabulary rich environment (lots of stories, singing, talking books) can really help if it is not down to hearing issues as well as signing, makaton etc x

 

[MadameJ]

I never thought about his heaing,but that could be a possibility as we often think he's like the typical man n has selective hearing.He had his hearing tested at birth first time only one ear passed but they re tested the next day and passed both and said it was probably cause he still had foof gunk in them!!

Im going to mention that to my HV and see what she says.

Don't get me wrong every day we notice something new,like today he told me when I went in to get him up he said 'up' which Ive never heard before so I repeated it and so did he and then we played an up down game with lots of praise so I hope we are heading in the right direction.

 

[littleone2010]

Hun you sound like a fab mum and I wish you all the best.Your son might just need a nudge and probably wont even have autism or a spectrum.
I am mad for you about your family too. It shouldnt change how they feel about him and Im sure it actually wont they are just making more of a fuss than is needed. HE sounds lovely x

 

[xemmax]

What a lucky little boy to have such fantastic parents! I hope if he does need any extra help then it is recognised early on and that any therapy he requires goes well. You're doing an amazing job, sod what everyone else thinks x

 

[MadameJ]

I promise myself I wouldn't be one of those parents that freak at the slightest thing and over analyse everything and so far we've been pretty laid back and let the kids do things in there own time.Im in no rush for them to grow up any faster lol.But Idk call it mothers instinct I just knew there was something not right and stopping my boy talking.Wither it is cause of his sister or because we've been going about things the wrong way I'll never know but Im going to do my best to make sure it doesnt get any worse.

 

[eddjanuary10]

Reading your post put a wee tear in my eye. I'm sure whatever happens you'll get through together as a family and your little boy will always know he has all the support he needs to get on and do well at things Anyone who has a problem, its their problem and maybe they should get help to understand instead of judging.

DH's niece is autistic and she is 20 now, she goes to college and is quite independant although still needs a bit of extra support. She is very clever and loves to learn new things! Oh, and she can certainly talk!

 

[Dimples81]

I never thought about his heaing,but that could be a possibility as we often think he's like the typical man n has selective hearing.He had his hearing tested at birth first time only one ear passed but they re tested the next day and passed both and said it was probably cause he still had foof gunk in them!!

Im going to mention that to my HV and see what she says.

Don't get me wrong every day we notice something new,like today he told me when I went in to get him up he said 'up' which Ive never heard before so I repeated it and so did he and then we played an up down game with lots of praise so I hope we are heading in the right direction.

it doesn't have to be a total lack of hearing, it can be frequencies, tones or only one side etc that may be being only partially heard rather than just volume, things can sound muffled or can be completely missed if they can only hear certain tones meaning that things that they hear aren't making sense so aren't making the links needed for communication. Hearing should always be checked first as it can be something as simple as a build up of wax or needing simple grommits, im suprised it wasn't suggested first before anything else. If it is something like Autism then that is a massive spectrum and once addressed correctly then children can make massive progress. You sound like you should be congratulated on your proactive attitude towards it.

 

[RachA]

I never thought about his heaing,but that could be a possibility as we often think he's like the typical man n has selective hearing.He had his hearing tested at birth first time only one ear passed but they re tested the next day and passed both and said it was probably cause he still had foof gunk in them!!

Im going to mention that to my HV and see what she says.

Don't get me wrong every day we notice something new,like today he told me when I went in to get him up he said 'up' which Ive never heard before so I repeated it and so did he and then we played an up down game with lots of praise so I hope we are heading in the right direction.

it doesn't have to be a total lack of hearing, it can be frequencies, tones or only one side etc that may be being only partially heard rather than just volume, things can sound muffled or can be completely missed if they can only hear certain tones meaning that things that they hear aren't making sense so aren't making the links needed for communication. Hearing should always be checked first as it can be something as simple as a build up of wax or needing simple grommits, im suprised it wasn't suggested first before anything else. If it is something like Autism then that is a massive spectrum and once addressed correctly then children can make massive progress. You sound like you should be congratulated on your proactive attitude towards it.

Me too - DD has been referred to a speech therapist but before they actual go ahead with an appointment they will be checking her hearing. It is quite possible that she has tonal problems as my nephew, brother, dad and possibly grandad all have/had tonal problems.

 

[Dimples81]

I don't believe he is Autistic,I believe he is quite clever for his age but is just slower in some area's so finds it hard to show us how clever he is.



.

Autistic children can be extremely clever, it is a very varied spectrum ranging from extremely high functioning (Einstein is now believed to have been on the autistic spectrum) to low functioning/high dependency.

 

[JakesMummy]

Speech therapy certainly wouldn't do any harm. The one Jake goes to, is mainly for attention so they play lots of taking go games and learning to wait their turn. Tbh I havemt seen a huge change in Jake and it ends next week. I have noticed that he hade a very stubborn personality, like me so sounds like it's in the family, here!

 

[MadameJ]

The Hv is coming back next thursday with a behaviour expert person so I think I'll mention the hearing thing then.

Do you think the fact he is loud(I mean like really really loud) has anything to do with having hearing problems??I feel stupid for never thinking that could be the problem.

I just want him to be able to speak,I can deal with the tantrums an melt downs I just want him to be able to tell me whats wrong

 

[Dimples81]

i would definately mention the hearing stuff then, im really suprised that wasn't the HVs first point of investigation but im no expert. This is just based on what i have picked up over my years of studying Early Years and Teacher training. I don't know about the loudness thing hun, i just know from experience and training that if there are any communication/behaviour difficulties we recomend ruling out a hearing problem first, Children can't respond if they can't hear/don't understand what is being asked of them.

 

[muddles]

Awww honey from reading your original post I can tell that no matter what the diagnosis your LO will have so much support and all the love in the world from you that it wont matter. Sending you massive