Entering the world of Assisted Conception...like it or not...

[AngelaALA]

Goodluck Lemon FX this is uour month and you get your BFP xx

 

[AngelaALA]

Well I received a call today from the clinic we go for our first consultation next Friday at 8:30 we have to fill out some consent forms there sending out, take photographic ID and also a passport photo for them to keep on file the consultation can take up to an hour and we have to do blood tests for viruses which they make you take every three months the shocking thing is she said we make couples take the blood tests on consultation if theyre starting IVF right away which shocked me as its sounds like theyre not going to make me take all the tests again and we could be starting by the end of this month or next month. I will also find out our results next week to but I guess they must be okay if we're going to be starting ASAP xx

How is everyone else doing xx

 

[lemon_tree]

That’s exciting, Angela! I hope things move along quickly for you!

 

[Hiker1]

Well IVF #3 is a bust. Got my negative beta today. Sorry I don't post as much as before, but really I can't fixate on this anymore as I will drive myself crazy. And posting on message boards too much can make me crazy. I haven't cried - I am honestly so numb and used to disappointment it's like totally normal now. The only thing keeping me going is just to keep moving forward. Like "ok, now what." So I have contacted several out-of-state facilities- going for the big guns. Places that are known in the country for handling difficult cases. For doctors who aren't afraid of a challenge and won't push donor eggs for a quick fix. Now, if I get second opinions and the doctors say that's my best option, then I'll reconsider. But I'm not going down without giving it my all. I have a consult scheduled with Dr. Wang at SIRM in Manhattan on the 28th. He's supposed to be fantastic. I've also reached out to CRM (Cornell) and CCRM in Denver. I have no idea how I'll do this with my job (I'm a teacher) but I guess there's FMLA and unpaid leave and all that. We are switching Jan 1 to a new insurance that will give us fresh IVF coverage - thank GOD - so hopefully next year will bring a great doctor and positive news. 2016 can go to hell.

 

[MMW430]

Well IVF #3 is a bust. Got my negative beta today. Sorry I don't post as much as before, but really I can't fixate on this anymore as I will drive myself crazy. And posting on message boards too much can make me crazy. I haven't cried - I am honestly so numb and used to disappointment it's like totally normal now. The only thing keeping me going is just to keep moving forward. Like "ok, now what." So I have contacted several out-of-state facilities- going for the big guns. Places that are known in the country for handling difficult cases. For doctors who aren't afraid of a challenge and won't push donor eggs for a quick fix. Now, if I get second opinions and the doctors say that's my best option, then I'll reconsider. But I'm not going down without giving it my all. I have a consult scheduled with Dr. Wang at SIRM in Manhattan on the 28th. He's supposed to be fantastic. I've also reached out to CRM (Cornell) and CCRM in Denver. I have no idea how I'll do this with my job (I'm a teacher) but I guess there's FMLA and unpaid leave and all that. We are switching Jan 1 to a new insurance that will give us fresh IVF coverage - thank GOD - so hopefully next year will bring a great doctor and positive news. 2016 can go to hell.

There is a girl on this site, her name is "ashknowsbest". She traveled to CCRM, and now has twins. She went through a TON, but they were able to help her. Good luck. It'll work out eventually.

 

[lemon_tree]

Hiker, we're all rooting for you so hard. I totally get needing to stay away to stay sane, but I hope we'll still hear from you now and then.

Big hugs. You're giving it your all, and that's awesome.

 

[Smille24]

I'm still rooting for you and thinking of you. I totally get staying away. It has been a rough year for you, but I believe 2017 will bring you great things. I hope you find a dr who is committed to your case and doesn't give up so easily. Praying for good news for you.

 

[BronteForever]

Hiker. I'm so sorry. I also know CCRM is supposed to be fantastic. Don't know anything about SIRM but only because I haven't researched clinics much. I think it's great you are going to bring in more progressive doctors that have worked with challenging cases. It's also fantastic your new insurance will give you more IVF converage. I love seeing that since all the insurance around me sucks!!

 

[AngelaALA]

So sorry to hear that Hiker here's hoping a second opinion and new Dr will do the trick xx

 

[Hiker1]

Thank you guys for all your encouragement. It really does mean alot. Any more I feel like I am so used to this black cloud that I don't even remember who I was anymore. I feel forever changed and I just don't know how long I can keep fighting. I know eventually we will have our family some way but this constant feeling of letdown is just weighing so much on me. It's like the feeling, not right after someone close to you dies, but maybe a week or 2 later when you are able to go back to work but you still feel the ache of the loss...and that feeling just hasn't left me and has slowly crept in and has stayed for going on 2 straight years. All I can do is try to move ahead but I don't know for how much longer.

In the meantime I have found this: https://www.augmenttreatment.com/ which I am getting super excited about since my doc says the issue is the mitochondria in my eggs have something wrong which is why the embryos aren't progressing as they should. It's not FDA approved, but if it's being done in Canada, it can't be that "out there". It is extremely pricey ($25K from what I've found) but if it might give us a chance, it might be the best $ ever spent. Will ask the docs in our second opinion appointments what their take is on it, but I am definitely intrigued... anyone know anything about it?

 

[BronteForever]

Hiker - so interesting. I haven't heard of the augment treatment but it's similar to one my doctor told me about they are working on to try to take a small portion from a donor egg (maybe it's the mitochondria - can't remember) and insert it in your egg. So the egg would keep your DNA but the transplanted part would assist in the growing and division of the embryo. Fascinating stuff. He said they can't do that in a clinical setting at all yet but the one you mentioned looks even more interesting. Would you need to travel to Canada then to have the procedure done? Or hopefully the doctors have another plan they can perform that will fall under your coverage.

I totally get you on the cloud thing. I just expect nothing to work now so I think since the expectations have somewhat changed it does make it easier. You want to have a bit of hope but every time that happens I just get more bad news and then it's harder. Not sure I've found the correct balance yet either.

 

[Regin7]

Hardly have I ever thought we will face this one day. But no one seems to be ready emotionally for the treatments. Furthermore when you're told your eggs won't do. So you need another woman for the ivf procedure.
I remember that was heartbreak for all my family.
So dropped in to share our story. Me - 40 yo, a teacher working with kids every single day of my life. Watching others growing and developing but not ours.. Started TTC in June 2012 with no luck. After 8 months of trying started doing investigation and got to know about my endo and PCOS. That very year tried 1 round clomid - BFN. 1 fresh ivf with 5-day 2 blasts the following year ended in early miscarriage.
Then devastated we all had to take a long break for emotional recovering. Though continued trying naturally. 2015 - another fresh ivf with OE - failure. DH's results came in healthy. Year 2016 started with the waiting for the miracle with Ukrainian Biotexcom clinic where we applied for ivf with donor egg. Previously had our free consultation with the patient coordinator in London through eviternity.org. This lovely lady shared her own family story, she was passing the treatment herself. And we were so thankful we could share things and absolutely understand each other.
Our 1st app was conducted on 24th March. Since that date time flew. The process went quite fast and smooth. Donor matching program completed less than in 3 weeks. Synchronization -- finally ET. Our doc didn't reject so we put back 2 nice 5-day blasts. (3 blasts is the max with them and no age issue, only the health one).
Well every start is a rollercoaster as we don't know what to expect. All these attempts and waiting and trying again.. But one thing is for sure - it's definitely worth doing! And I'm so thankful we could take egg donation route which brought me to life..
Good luck to all of you, lovely people, on this path X

 

[AngelaALA]

Thats a lovely story Regin I hope you have luck and it gives you your beautiful baby FX for you xx

Me and DH have already discussed the poor egg quality scenario Im fortunate enough to have a twin who has two beautiful children so we said if it turns out that that is our problem then we'll ask her to be a donor which I know she will be in a heartbeat I mean due to us being twins she's the closest match DNA wise to me xx

 

[star_e]

That sounds like a very good plan should you need donor eggs Angela. Fx that everything goes well for you. Is your appointment this Friday?

Hiked - I had never heard of augmented treatment. I read up about it and it sounds very interesting/promising. Hopefully when you speak with your new docs they have some suggestions on a protocol that works for you fx. Nice to know the augmented plan is there should you need it. Fx.

 

[AngelaALA]

AFM AF has arrived 5 days early since coming off Clomid my body clock has been off normally I have a clockwork LP every 15 days after O but since coming off Clomid Ive had a 13 day LP a 15 day LP but my post O temps were all rocky which is strange and now a 10 day LP I will bring this up in my consultation on Fri. I started spotting yesterday and today woke up in the morning and I was heavy sorry for the TMI but my temps are still high so they should plummit come tomorrow but it's still really odd, I also took a hpt today just to make sure and it was stark white BFN so Im definitely not preggo just hope its not a sign of any underlying problem got me a little worried xx

My appt is this Fri Star e and I am worried about it now as they may send me off for more tests now xx

How are you hun xx

 

[Hiker1]

Hi Regin,
Thanks for sharing. I am a teacher as well, and surrounded by and love all the little ones I work with. So I get it and how much I long to be able to do the same for my own child someday (hopefully) soon. You said you transferred your donor blasts - when do you find out the results? I hope you finally will get your child(or children) from this transfer. I am not opposed to DE but only after we have tried everything before that. We are lucky to live in a day and age with so many options - it's just how much do we want to fight for what we want and for how long?

Angela, how wonderful you have a twin. It would make the donor egg process so much easier! Your consult is Friday? Let us know how it goes. Will this be to start IVF process?

As for me, I'm feeling really good actually. We had our consult with CCRM last night. It's unlikely we'll go there simply due to distance at this point, as we have some great options within driving distance (NYC). But the consult was eye opening in several ways because it confirmed a few things about my clinic and situation that I had been wondering about. First, the doc was very concerned as to why if our embryos arrested after day 3, did the clinic still push to have the embryos go to day 5? She said they absolutely should have transferred them early. (I asked the same at the time and it was like not an option). So that pisses me off that basically those 2 were a waste and who knows, may have turned out differently had they been transferred sooner. And second, she said the fact the embryos slow after day 3 actually might be the sperm and NOT the egg quality! Not that that's great news, but anything to not make me feel like I am to blame for this does give me some small consolation. She said (and I had found this on the internet after the first failure) that the sperm DNA drives the development past day 3. I asked my doctor this and she said "no, no, it's all the egg." So she is WRONG! So perhaps there is something we can do in terms of testing my hubby's sperm further and that will help?

Also, it's been a stressful few days but I was able to lock down 2 in-person appointments at Cornell and SIRM - NY. We are going on my day off, Nov. 28, and meeting with some of the top docs there. I feel really excited and encouraged and hopefully the better facilities will know what to do with us. And it's not too far away so this is all good. I can't wait!

 

[AngelaALA]

Hiker thats interesting so if there is an issue with the sperm is there something they can do about it xx

AFM had my consultation today and did mention about myearly cycle he said its more than likely caused by the clomid and no to worry as they will be regulating/manipulating my cycle with drugs and putting me on progesterone after the insertion of the egg but I think its still wierd since that one day of heavy bleeding all Ive had is slight spotting and thats it but Ill not stress too much as Dr seemed fine about it xx

Well my egg reserves are fantastic a score over 5.5 is considered good and I got 12.4 so Im happy with that, they have found an issue with DHS sperm though he has low mobility so that looks like our issue which is odd as his first test 3 yrs ago didnt pick up on that but these guys now are the specialists and due to that we have to have the more intrusive IVF called ICJS where they physically inject his sperm into the egg. Due to me already having AF we cant start till next cycle so theyre sending all the drugs out then I go back on 16th Dec to go through all the drugs and a test as due to me having an op 12 yrs ago to remove pre cancerous cells they need to make sure that there is no scar tissue causing a blockage. At the appt they will tell me when to start the drugs and hopefully if all goes well by beginning of Jan I should be all pupped up xx

 

[BronteForever]

Hiker - I've also heard that about the sperm being a reason after Day 3. Most of mine were bad prior to that, but I did question my doctor about it about the two that survived past day 3 if it could be sperm related. He said it's possible, but frankly there isn't a good way to tell.

I'm kind of with you though, that I just want to feel like something in this process is not all my fault. It's not a fun feeling and I want to share some of this with my husband. So possible is all I needed on that front.

I'm curious to see what they tell you specifically though and what they recommend for it. Excited to hear about your next steps. Good luck!

Angela - great news about your egg reserves. It's always nice to get some positive news during this process. And sperm motility can vary some on the tests, but I'm glad they found it so your DH can work on improving the issue. And I"m assuming ICJS is similar to ICSI as we call it here. It's pretty common and does seem to help bypass lots of sperm issues! Good luck. I'm starting next round in January as well, so we might be cycle buddies.

 

[AngelaALA]

Bronte that would be lovely to have someone to go through the process with FX the Jan cycle is the one for you hun xx

 

[Hiker1]

Just popping in to say hello!

Hardly seems worth updating much anymore. In summary, did a cycle of Mini IVF at New Hope in NYC. They got 4 eggs and 2 fertilized. Sadly neither progressed past 2 cells. So that confirms to me that either: Mini IVF is terrible for me, or, my egg quality has rapidly declined.

Either way we are starting this new year with fresh insurance, fresh lifetime IVF coverage, and a new doctor at SIRM-NY. He is so far so supportive and fantastic and I think is our best shot before resorting to donor eggs.

How are the rest of you? Here's hoping that 2017 is better in so many ways!