ever feel like your LO is a side show act?

[special_kala]

I might just be being really silly and ungrateful but..

we went round the inlaws and the SIL was down with her boyfriend. I put River on the floor to have a kick and wiggle and soon as i did they decended!

they all crowd around her talking to her and wiggling fingers and toys at her.

I find it really really uncomfortable and find myself getting really angry, i know i'd hate that so how must River feel. Its way to overwhelming for a baby and tbh over stimulating.

Am i being stupid or would you feel uncomfortable to?

Also i know River much prefers laying on the floor rathr then be held (unless she is tired) so alot of the time i dont offer her to people to hold as IMO shes a baby not a doll.

God xmas day is going to be horrible

 

[Kitten]

I hate it. I hated when he was first born and if I met up with people they'd be like "when can I hold him?", yet they were blatantly bored by my talking about him.

 

[mummytobe]

Oh i feel like this too!! people treat her like a toy not a baby.. insist on waking her up, over stimulating her, making her overtired and when they go we cant settle her !! GRRRR

Exactly know how you feel, i dnt think people mean to do it tho! But your def not alone

 

[amazed]

That would drive me bonkers my mum can be abit like that when mine were younger...xx

 

[special_kala]

Iv asked my OH to have a word with them, they never let her settle or sleep.

I will repeatedly say shes tired and they continue to talk to her or jostle her about.
River was trying to sleep on the sofa and MIL just kept rubbing her belly.

were sleeping ther christmas night, im considering going into their room as they sleep and talking to them and rubbing their belly, see how they like it|!! lol

 

[kelly2903]

it will wear off hun dont worry about it. xxxx hugs xxxx

 

[special_kala]

it will wear off hun dont worry about it. xxxx hugs xxxx

im really worried it wont tho their just as excited to see her as the first time they met her, which i know is nice but way to much

 

[faille]

We don't get the whole overcrowding thing - they're good at "waiting their turn" but nobody ever wants to let her sleep and that seriously pisses me off. They sit there going on and on about her being tired and yet still don't let her sleep

 

[Rachel_C]

Oh god yeah, my MIL is annoying! She organised a gathering of about 40 people to come and meet the baby then wouldn't let me hold her all evening. Every time I looked up, Leyla was being passed to another person and being made to pose for photos and woken up... MIL even took her off me HALF WAY THROUGH her feed but didn't take the bottle to carry on feeding her! What's even worse is that all the people were cousins and second cousins and third cousins or whatever - I didn't even know their names and they were putting their skanky fingers all over my baby. It won't happen again - I'll put my foot down next time - cos Leyla was quite poorly for the week after, she picked up a tummy bug.

 

[nikki_j]

Yeah I totally get this, it's so annoying, and then Aiden becomes over stimulated and tired and starts screaming the place down (and he is VERY loud lol) and then people either start fussing him - which makes him worse - or start to get a little irritated with the screaming, and provide me with all sorts of solutions, the main one "is he hungry?" No, he is not hungry, he is now completely unsettled and doesn't know what to do with himself. Ended up leaving a big family gathering last week because of this. Was so mad, one family member in particular kept poking him / stroking his face etc (he was asleep when we got there, and would have preferred to keep it that way as if he gets woken up, boy is he grumpy!!) and then when he did wake up "ooohhhh sorry little man did I wake you up???!!!" ERRR YEAH - How would you like it if I poked and stroked your face when you was asleep you idiot, lol!!!!

Okay sorry for taking over with my own rant - short version - yes, I agree with you lol, we get this too!! x

 

[rubywoo77]

I might just be being really silly and ungrateful but..

we went round the inlaws and the SIL was down with her boyfriend. I put River on the floor to have a kick and wiggle and soon as i did they decended!

they all crowd around her talking to her and wiggling fingers and toys at her.

I find it really really uncomfortable and find myself getting really angry, i know i'd hate that so how must River feel. Its way to overwhelming for a baby and tbh over stimulating.

Am i being stupid or would you feel uncomfortable to?

Also i know River much prefers laying on the floor rathr then be held (unless she is tired) so alot of the time i dont offer her to people to hold as IMO shes a baby not a doll.

God xmas day is going to be horrible

Your not alone hon, I am exactly the same, your not being stupid . I hate my little girl being bounced around like some human teddybear/toy. Every time my SIL comes around she picks LO up and starts to bounce her around on her knee and sing loudly to her - then her kids start talking to her and crowding her, LO just looks bewildered most of the time and eventually ends up crying. The worse thing is if I do say anything or try to remove her from the situation I get "certain" looks like I am being a neurotic over protective mum, or get made to feel guilty because I am not allowing LO to spend any time with her family.

Worse than people holding LO or upsetting her is the reaction you get if you try and prevent your LO from getting overstimulated - its a no win situation for me because basically I cant say anything because if I do it just ends up upsetting people and causing family drama - where I am the bad guy... yet again.

 

[nikki_j]

Oh god yeah, my MIL is annoying! She organised a gathering of about 40 people to come and meet the baby then wouldn't let me hold her all evening. Every time I looked up, Leyla was being passed to another person and being made to pose for photos and woken up... MIL even took her off me HALF WAY THROUGH her feed but didn't take the bottle to carry on feeding her! What's even worse is that all the people were cousins and second cousins and third cousins or whatever - I didn't even know their names and they were putting their skanky fingers all over my baby. It won't happen again - I'll put my foot down next time - cos Leyla was quite poorly for the week after, she picked up a tummy bug.

God... I would have HATED that... it was bad enough for me - I came home 6 hours after he was born to a house full of family members - all be it they were all immediate family from both sides, but I have a huge family, there were ike 20 people there, and poor little Aiden, 6 hours old, was being passed from person to person and people asking to change his nappy etc etc etc, I hated every second of it - I won't be doing that again, I'll stay in hospital overnight if I have too!! x

 

[twists183]

Ha! I wish my problem was this easy to solve! It's not other people who do this to Henry but his father!

Every night he comes back from work around half 6 or 7 and treats Henry as a cool toy he can wind up. Henry gets over stimulated and worked up and then were trying to settle him for hours after. I keep telling him he needs calm at night, he's had the excitement during the day etc etc but he just throws a strop and treats me like I'm being a misery arse.

I know it's hard for him not seeing his son all day but he should either make an effort to come home earlier sometimes or just zip up and shut up. If henry was bottle fed I;d just say you settle him I'm off to bed then but cause he's breast fed it's often me soothing him and trying to relax him.

I can't even leave Henry with him in the middle of the night to go to the toilet - I come back to find him sat up on his Daddy's lap, Daddy chatting away at full volume and Henry wide eyed and perky! It's a nightmare! Give me overbearing relatives any time, daily dopey daddy is too much to handle!

 

[twists183]

Just to add - Rachel C said something about people putting their hands all over baby. My best mate came to visit just after I got out of hospital and was cuddling Henry - and she just stuck her finger in his mouth when he grizzled. I didn't actually see this at the time, her angle to me was blocked by her arm but my OH had taken a pic of the two of them and the evidence is there!

Don't you find that disgusting and damn right horrible? You wouldn't stick your own finger in your mouth without washing it first, definately not another adult so why a little baby who doesn't have a dummy or anything because it's a few days old? I'm gonna watch her next time she's here and prepare a tactful way of telling her not to do that again or I'll murder her.

 

[lozenge]

I totally agree hun. My OH's father is a very hands on grandad, which is nice, but it does drive me nuts and p*ss me off when he wont let him sleep!!! Poor LO is clearly overstimulated, is looking away from him and yet he carries on talking rubbish to him and jostling him about!

The first (and last for a little while!!) time he babysat we were up until 3am with a screaming baby (which never happens), because he hadnt let him sleep at all and had spent the whole 3 hours talking constantly at him. ARGH. It really stresses me out.

I too am dreading Xmas day- his Grandad wont put him down and his routine is going to be all messed up - can just see it being a nightmare. I know I should relax about it but I cant.

 

[Panda_Ally]

I totally agree!! When ever SIL see holly she spends the whole time literaly 2 inches from her face... it must be horrible for her and she starts crying so she does it more saying 'cos she wants her aunty' PFFT!!! Totally bugs me, therefore SIL doesnt see LO very much, hopefully til shes not a 'baby' anymore or til shes less selfish and controlles herself....

Sorry that turned in to a mini rant!!!

 

[special_kala]

rant away ladies. im so glad its not just me

i thought i was being silly my OH thinks its "nice" but i hate it.

 

[DizzyMoo]

Just to jump in i actually kinda wish my family were alittle more like this, None of my family give a toss. My mum doesn't bother about jax at all if he cries at hers & im not there she will try settle him but soon as i walk back in room she'll hand him back to me. she dont talk to him or show any interest, my birth partner (cousin) lives 2 streets away & hasnt bothered with me or jax since the day he was born, hasnt seen him or anything. My brothers & their mrs dont bother unless i go to their house, then my bro will just ask if hes ok. Aunties & uncles arent bothered, jaxs dad hasnt even asked about him yet.
Only people who actually give a toss & enjoy him are me & his big brother josh.

So sometimes i wish he actually got some attention.

 

[Abz1982]

Hmm, I'm 50/50, as sometimes Emma would love it, others she wouldn't.

But it hasn't done her any harm. She loves ANYONE. She will go up to folk when they are over and she gets super excited to see people and when they interact with her.
She also makes it v clear when she is tired or pissed off tho.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Hmm, I'm 50/50, as sometimes Emma would love it, others she wouldn't.

But it hasn't done her any harm. She loves ANYONE. She will go up to folk when they are over and she gets super excited to see people and when they interact with her.
She also makes it v clear when she is tired or pissed off tho.

Yeah Ruby is the exact same.