ex and benifits rant!!!

[davidjoemum]

hiya i dont want read and run but i see your point tell her that Faye is your and her child and cost should be split if she want buggy for £80 give her £40 and tell her to provide outstanding amount simple as that and for future reference keep record all things you buy for Faye and all bank transfer you make to your ex so if she want to use it against you that you cannot provide for own baby u will have prove that you can.

you good dad Faye is lucky girl

 

[purpledahlia]

^^ I agree, Dont hand cash over if shes untrustworthy!

 

[stevon111]

hey guys!
thanks for all the comments...ive just went through them all.

shes getting around 700 a month and im paying 80 a month in maint so say around 780... thing is ive mentioned to her that i get 100 pounds more than her per month 900 pounds and i do 40 hour full time work. and i cannot understand why she cannot just accept a 30 pounds NEW pushchair from argos which is just simple for a bus to get off and on but shes annoyed becouse she thinks its not suitable for the snow during the winter. and that she wants a MATCHING mamas and papas footmuff when i have a perfectly suited winnie the pooh 1 which does the exact same job as the mamas and papas 1 she wants.

like i said i get 100 pounds more than her per month and i live with my parents and pay around 150 board so im actually coming out less than her!

what annoys me is that she does not have her own place.... does not have a job on the sly.. sees faye 4 days a week as i take her 2 days and her sister who she lives with takes her 1 day. and she can AFFORD to pay for her friend on a night out.

she comes and blackmails me saying fayes my daughter also.. yes i know shes my daughter and faye gets EVERYTHING she needs when i have her and i wouldnt feel so bad buying things for jen if i generally knew she was strugling with money which i know fine well she is not.
my wages mostly go on faye at the end of the day to get her different things and i get told by my x that its me who can afford all the good things for faye but really its becouse 1. i dont drink very much now.. 2. i rarely go out (dont have many friends) 3. i dont smoke ....so yes i can afford good things for faye becouse she comes first before anything else in my eyes.

and yeah guys i used to give her cash in hand but it was horrible doing that and thinking that the money would be spend on drink or cigs.. but now it just goes direct into her bank account each sunday and it doesnt bother me as much

 

[purpledahlia]

How old is faye? I cant see how she gets 700 alone in benefits .... still trying to get my head around it.

She def sounds unreasonable though. Just tell her straight you've bought a buggy if its not the one she wants she could sell it and use the money towards the one she wants but you cant afford to just keep buying unnessecary things that are not NEEDED. and in future if she really needs something to discuss going halfers instead of asking you to pay for all of it as you do pay maintenence and you provide for her 2 days a week..

In a courts eyes i dont think they'd make you do any more than your doing.. I think its great you put her first. (dont think shes getting almost 800 a month though :/ )

 

[Laura2919]

She gets around £630 in state benefits £80 of Steveo and £6.20 a week in healthy start vouchers so thats around £735 a month so its not a bad estitmate of what she has coming in.
No matter what money she has coming in, you should go halves with her on the buggy speak to her about it, especially if you are getting use out of it too.

Just say to her that you are happy to buy her a buggy and there is one at £30 at Argos or you will go halves on getting her the buggy that she wants...

Seems a very fair assesment to me!

£3.10 in healthy start. She only has one child and if he is paying child support and she is declaring it they would deduct it off her benefit.

They dont take maintence off benefits anymore hun, changed last year or the year before i think. FOB tried that one with me when he first started paying ' ill make sure the social know so they take it out of your benefits so it makes no difference if i pay you anyway' well spoke to someone and researched online and from a certain date maintence payments dont affect the amount of benefit you get, but you should still notify them x

Ahhh right! That helps families a bit more.

 

[kirst1805]

I'm the same, I can't see how shes getting 700 in benefits.. Unless shes taking advantage of the fact you can earn £20 before it affects your income support.

xxx

 

[stevon111]

faye is 9 months old now.

im not sure how she is getting all these benifits to be honest. she used to stay between 2 different addresses ..her dads...her mothers.. i dont know if this could effect how much she is getting as her application form was to her mothers address and her mother is on benifits also and does not work and has not for many years but claims benifits for being an alcoholic as far as im aware.

she openly admits to that amount of benifits so i dont see why she would lie about something like that becouse you would imagine if she told me she was getting much much less then i would be more inclined to help her more and buy other things.

 

[purpledahlia]

hmm her benefits wont be affected by whatever her mum claims...

I dunno, Dont see how shes doing it, legally. But dont know why she'd lie? I hope she calms down a bit for u.

 

[rachyh1990]

income support = 270pm
child tax = 240pm
child benefit= 80 pm

total = 590+ maintenance 80 = £670pm

 

[purpledahlia]

income support = 270pm
child tax = 240pm
child benefit= 80 pm

total = 590+ maintenance 80 = £670pm

Yeah i worked it out to be the similar on page 1, (think i got £630) But i thought i must have done it wrong! I was right afterall! its not almost 800 at all is it.

Stevon i think that shes either lying about how much she gets or lying about getting cash in hand work!

 

[bambinoccino]

income support = 270pm
child tax = 240pm
child benefit= 80 pm

total = 590+ maintenance 80 = £670pm

Yeah i worked it out to be the similar on page 1, (think i got £630) But i thought i must have done it wrong! I was right afterall! its not almost 800 at all is it.

Stevon i think that shes either lying about how much she gets or lying about getting cash in hand work!

£67.50 Income Support
£59.36 Tax Credits
£20.30 Child Benefit
£3.10 or £6.20 Healthy Start (How old is child?)
£20.00 Child Support

= £170.26/£173.36 a week.

= £681.04/£693.44 every 4 weeks.

= £737.93/£751.22 a month.

It is almost £800 a month

 

[purpledahlia]

Theyre not paid 4 weekly. Theyre paid weekly...

Its 120 every second week for IS. so one week she will only get 59 ctc, then 20chb and 20maintenence

then the second week she will get that plus 120 for IS.. maybe that was the week it fell on for her giving her friend money? (no excuse but still)

I wouldnt count healthy start tbh, Its not actual money and id assume would be used for formula at 9months..?

I find people dont realise sometimes that budgeting on benefits its very much a week to week thing.. not month to month. One week she might get no IS, and have a bill, which means hardly any money, then maybe no bills on the week that IS comes thru.. so a bit extra money.

Its not 800 a month because shes not given the money monthly then..

I get 2 IS payments a month.

IS £120 x 2 = £240
CTC £59pw x 4 = £230 odd
CHB £20pw x 4 = £80

Maintenence £20pw = £80

240 + 230 + 80 + 80 = £630

Healthy start if shes 9months would be 6.20 (2 vouchers a week) but theyre not money so i couldnt count them. Its litterally a voucher and if shes only 9months and on formula, then the 24quids worth of vouchers, would only cover 2 tubs of formula. Its not actuall money so i personally wouldnt count that. If i did tho, it would take my calculations up to £650 odd a month?

 

[purpledahlia]

Just worked out what I get weekly and times it by 52 then divided it by 12, and it came out £602 a month. Add on the 80 maintnence she gets, its def not almost £800.
As a single mother on IS, Im baffled by the almost 800, what am i not getting then that she is? Bar an extra 3.10 in vouchers for milk? :/

 

[xSophieBx]

Purpledahlia - how come u only get £120 IS? I get £135... but then I only get £57 CTC.

I agree though... its noway nr on £800 a month!!

& as its weekly, I'm exactly like u purple, living from week to week... I never go out as I can't afford it...

 

[purpledahlia]

Dunno, Ive always got 120 IS?

Living week to week is HARD! Fair enough i have bills and petrol to buy aswell and get no maintenence but Stevon's ex has no bills really. Not that i think her behaviour is ok i just hate people assuming single mums on benefits are loaded with almost a grand a month cos its simply not true.

59 CTC a week i live off basically. my IS goes on bills and my CHB goes on debt. So its messing with my head that someone can somehow get so much, i think that it must be the way uve been working it out but its definately not that much a month..

unless she's claiming some housing benefit but not actually having to give it over as rent and is keeping the money? Maybe they made a lease and used that to claim a portion of the 'rent' of where she's living?? (illegal FYI)

 

[bambinoccino]

I didnt say they were paid 4 weekly, they are paid weekly, fortnightly and 4 weekly... she gets £751 per calander month into her household no matter when its paid or how I worked it our using the exact amounts above. it's quite simple maths.

You work out the amount of benefits at their weekly rate, add them and it gives you the total weekly rate, then to work it out 4 weekly you times it by 4.

To work out the calander monthly rate you times the weekly rate by 52 and divide by 12.

I am really struggling to understand why people are confused?

Purple you are working on a 4 week month but NO months have just 4 weeks in them so your calculation is totally flawed. Most apart from Feb have 4weeks + 2 or 3 days so 4 1/2 weeks in a month. You cannot work it out correctly basing it just 4 weeks.

I am also on single parent benefit, this is right because I have sat and worked it out for budgeting.

 

[purpledahlia]

Actually i worked it out the same as you, by using 52 weeks per year, And i got £603 per month..

IS £60 pw
CTC £59pw
CHB £20pw

= £139pw

£139 x 52 = £7228

£7228 divided by 12 = £602 per calendar month!

!?

Add her 80 per month, its not almost 800pm!?

I am also confused how your getting a different amount by a few hundred to me?

I would certainly be in a much better position if i got that much, but i dont! and the rates are set and should only be a few quid difference per person. Not different by hundreds?

 

[bambinoccino]

Actually i worked it out the same as you, by using 52 weeks per year, And i got £603 per month..

IS £60 pw
CTC £59pw
CHB £20pw

= £139pw

£139 x 52 = £7228

£7228 divided by 12 = £602 per calendar month!

!?

Add her 80 per month, its not almost 800pm!?

I am also confused how your getting a different amount by a few hundred to me?

I would certainly be in a much better position if i got that much, but i dont! and the rates are set and should only be a few quid difference per person. Not different by hundreds?

Because you are not using the exact amount you have short changed yourself by £8.16 a week not including healthy start, that is £424.32 a year you are not including, plus £322.4 a year she will be getting in the first year of Faye's life in healthy start vouchers and £1040 a year in Child support she is getting.

You've basically discounted £1786.72 a year of her income which is £148.89 a month! It's alot of money for you to not count and no wonder your calculations are wrong.

 

[angelpkj]

if i was you i would just say your skint so cant pay the full amount but can meet her half way and offer her half of the money towards

i'd be grateful for anythin someone bought my son,i wouldnt throw it back in their face and say i want a more expensive one etc

 

[Laura2919]

Actually i worked it out the same as you, by using 52 weeks per year, And i got £603 per month..

IS £60 pw
CTC £59pw
CHB £20pw

= £139pw

£139 x 52 = £7228

£7228 divided by 12 = £602 per calendar month!

!?

Add her 80 per month, its not almost 800pm!?

I am also confused how your getting a different amount by a few hundred to me?

I would certainly be in a much better position if i got that much, but i dont! and the rates are set and should only be a few quid difference per person. Not different by hundreds?

Because you are not using the exact amount you have short changed yourself by £8.16 a week not including healthy start, that is £424.32 a year you are not including, plus £322.4 a year she will be getting in the first year of Faye's life in healthy start vouchers and £1040 a year in Child support she is getting.

You've basically discounted £1786.72 a year of her income which is £148.89 a month! It's alot of money for you to not count and no wonder your calculations are wrong.

If you mean the £80 he gives her thats £960 a year.