• Xenforo Cloud has scheduled an upgrade to XenForo version 2.2.16. This will take place on or shortly after the following date and time: Jul 05, 2024 at 05:00 PM (PT) There shouldn't be any downtime, as it's just a maintenance release. More info here

Famous Labor Quotes

ohhhh i love this thread
erm lemme think
i had gas and air and pethadine
1. when people asked 'do you know what your having' i would reply 'A little shit'
2. they asked me to go on all fours so i told them i would only do that is they didnt look at my bum
3. my mum was eating a egg buttie while i was in labour and asked if i would like a drink i apparently said 'noooooooooo EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG' so she gave me a little and for aout 30 mins all i did was eat egg butties and go 'mooooooorrrrrreeeeeeeeeee' 'eeeeggggggggggggggggggggggggg' and when they finnaly told me no i showed the midwife what i had left in my mouth
4. i told my OH i was going to chop his d**k of
5. and i grabbed oh by the coller and told him to stop doing this to me

if i remember any more i will let you know
but most of this stuff happened about 44-46 hours of labour so you can imagaine how much i didnt register
 
i'm not a teen any more (i'm 21) but i was a teen when i got pregnant with no.1, so i still feel like i belong in here ;) hehe

i had a csection with Riley, so there wasnt anything then, but with Josh i was in labour for 44 hours and after my first puff of gas and air i turned to OH and said "they should put this in tanks and sell it! that'd cut drug problems!" and then after i had the epidural, i was so out of it and so relieved to not be in pain anymore and so sleepy that i said to OH, "you could have your way with me right now and i wouldn't even know" - midwife laughed but said it probably wouldnt be appropriate or even that easy right now!! lol
 
omg ! i said sooo many stupid things :blush:

I was like... IM POOING !... hes like no your fine honestly - im like - NO REALLY ITS STUCK IN MY BUM CHEEKS :haha:

i called the doctor "ball head"

i told the midwife " you know something - i like to lather my hair in shampoo " ( random )

I said to my mum - " this is sooo sore, shes like... yeah i know hun... i said....but how the hell would you know ????? " lol well DUH

I said that the australian doctor was really nice - he was english :blush:

Midwife told me to " blow the pain away " ... i told her i was gonna blow her out the window :haha:
 
"stop touching me...i said stop fuking touching me im not having a contraction at the minute please let me enjoy it!" :haha:
although my labour was quite short i cant imagine 44-46 hours kimbobaloobob :nope: u must have been exhausted lol x
 
i hardly spoke when i was in labour i was so drugged up. on gas and air i was fine and was just laughing in the beggining.
the first time i spoke was wen she did the epi but did it in the wrong place ad i just shouted FUCK lol and then when epi wore off and they were trying to turn alice's head i was shouting GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF ME.
then i was shouting jsut give me c sections and then i changed my mind and was like no please dont just give me more drugs.
other than that i was quite well behaved except i had to wee allllll the time i just spent the whole time when i was on gas and air going backwards and forwards to the loo! xx
 
right b4 i got my spinal block i was cryin mom asked whats wrong, i said i just want to sleep but he wont stop coming, she laughed... (thank god fiance didnt hear)

fiance and mom kept saying it be okay,every time he said it i said okay okay, and when mom would say it i said no mom it wont u dont understand, it hurts she said i kno i said no u dont! lol

-after spinal block-
i dialted to 8 b4 i got it, i had to cuz i got to tired and they wanted me to sleep

they just got done giving it to me i couldnt feel my legs and i saw my leg and said is that mine? wtf y cant i feel it!??!?! and then passed out for a few sec and smacked my leg and was pinching it and said i still cant feel it!!!! why?!?! and started crying lol ( so embaressed now but he still laughs and reminds me of it)
 
LOL at a lot of this!!!

I don't actually think I said anything funny. Although I had a few laughing fits on the gas and air.

My sister was making chicken noises when she had my niece..I don't think she'll ever be allowed to forget that!
 
some of these are great!

after i had the gas and air, they strapped me up to all the monitors
i was CONVINCED (even to this day) that they gave me a button to press when i had a contraction and just kept screaming wheres my button, i forgot to press the button!!

and i kept telling the anesthetist that i liked his accent - i think my OH got jealous 'you sound nice' 'oh i do like the way you speak' 'your accent is lovely' (needless to say this was after the epi and was still quite out of it!)
 
Before epidural-
*on the phone with my sister*
Sister: ok, so you want the heat pack?
Me: YES!!! have you guys left yet?!
Sister: no, mom and me are cleaning your room
Me: Leave my room the fuck alone and get down here
Sister: here's mom (whispers to mom: she must be in pain, what a bitch)
Me: I heard that! i'm not sharing my ice with you!!!

Getting my epidural-
Dr: Hold still
Me: I am
Dr. you need to hold still so I can do this
Me: Haven't I been touched enough?

In labor-
Nurse: Ok lets see where were at?
Me: ok, but its up to you to spread me open, I'm dead from the ribs down


Me: I need a nurse I feel pressure!
Nurse: You were just checked your only a 7
Me: I know but I feel pressure like theres something right "there"
Nurse: ok I'll check you
Me: lol your like the 8th person today to stick fingers in there lol

During birth-
Dr.: ok keep pushing 1..2..3..4..STOP!
Me: *stops*
Dr: look down
Me: *looks down* omg her eyes are open!! Is she suppose to be like that????
My Mom: LMAO
 
Hahaha these are great!!!

My MW in my first labour asked me how many children I wanted in total....I was high on gas & air and said to her "I haven't even had my fucking first yet" Haha...I don't even remember it, but what a flippin Q to ask?!?!

With DS, again on Gas & Air, there was like an incubator cot thing & I swear there was a dog lead on it, I actually said to my OH, why is there a dog lead in that cot, i'm having a baby not a dog! haha....turns out it was a dog lead, one of those stretchy ones that retract? I can't for the life of me remember what they said they used it for though!! Haha
 
Hahaha these are great!!!

My MW in my first labour asked me how many children I wanted in total....I was high on gas & air and said to her "I haven't even had my fucking first yet" Haha...I don't even remember it, but what a flippin Q to ask?!?!

With DS, again on Gas & Air, there was like an incubator cot thing & I swear there was a dog lead on it, I actually said to my OH, why is there a dog lead in that cot, i'm having a baby not a dog! haha....turns out it was a dog lead, one of those stretchy ones that retract? I can't for the life of me remember what they said they used it for though!! Haha

i cant stop laughing! :rofl:
 
I haven't been in labor yet but I DID have knee surgery when I was 16. Nearly died during it because APPARENTLY alcohol isn't the only thing my body can't take a lot of. The anesthesia dropped my heart rate to a very dangerous level. (One more reason I'm going for a natural birth when I push some out!)

I remember yelling about how I wanted my ex-fiancee (we were still together at that time) when I was first waking up. Then the nurse came over and goes, "How are you doing, sweetie?" I go, "Honestly? This hurts like a bitch." "So you want some more morphine?" "Yes please." :haha:

I felt so ad afterwards that I found the nurse and apologized to her. Now that I'm not drugged to high hell I realize that she probably gets stuff like that all the time. hahaha
 
this thred needs 2 keep going ive nealy wet my self a few times ha
 
i was squeezing my mum's hand and shes got soft bones so apparently i said..

"cant squeeze your hand, brittle bones and ahin!"

apparently made a song with the gas and air..

"do u think this songs like that song?*inhales and exhales air* there you are there there you are!!" pmsl

the midwife told me i couldnt get an epi cause there was an emergency in..

"that midwife is a f&^%ing liar!!"

me to my boyfriend then to my mum..

"i loooooveeee you, you know i love him mummy DONT YOU?!" apparently sounding quite mad hahaha
 
i donr care that theres a risk ill be paralysed, paralyse me, anything is better than this pain!
Fuck you mum its your fault i cant have a water birth i inherited your stupid heart!
If you think about it, humans are failures really. Like elephants can go 2 years in pregnancy then push an elephant out with no pain relief and we have all this!
I dont like gas and air *takes a big drag* no i really dont like it it feels likr im pissed i hate being pissed *takes another drag* dont let me take this i dont like it!
Noone believes me but this isnt the baby its just a poo im pushing, a stools gonna drop out my arse any minute jusr watch out!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,227
Messages
27,142,430
Members
255,694
Latest member
irenetta
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->