Famous Labor Quotes

[kimbobaloobob]

ohhhh i love this thread
erm lemme think
i had gas and air and pethadine
1. when people asked 'do you know what your having' i would reply 'A little shit'
2. they asked me to go on all fours so i told them i would only do that is they didnt look at my bum
3. my mum was eating a egg buttie while i was in labour and asked if i would like a drink i apparently said 'noooooooooo EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG' so she gave me a little and for aout 30 mins all i did was eat egg butties and go 'mooooooorrrrrreeeeeeeeeee' 'eeeeggggggggggggggggggggggggg' and when they finnaly told me no i showed the midwife what i had left in my mouth
4. i told my OH i was going to chop his d**k of
5. and i grabbed oh by the coller and told him to stop doing this to me

if i remember any more i will let you know
but most of this stuff happened about 44-46 hours of labour so you can imagaine how much i didnt register

 

[maddiwatts19]

i'm not a teen any more (i'm 21) but i was a teen when i got pregnant with no.1, so i still feel like i belong in here hehe

i had a csection with Riley, so there wasnt anything then, but with Josh i was in labour for 44 hours and after my first puff of gas and air i turned to OH and said "they should put this in tanks and sell it! that'd cut drug problems!" and then after i had the epidural, i was so out of it and so relieved to not be in pain anymore and so sleepy that i said to OH, "you could have your way with me right now and i wouldn't even know" - midwife laughed but said it probably wouldnt be appropriate or even that easy right now!! lol

 

[sambam]

omg ! i said sooo many stupid things

I was like... IM POOING !... hes like no your fine honestly - im like - NO REALLY ITS STUCK IN MY BUM CHEEKS

i called the doctor "ball head"

i told the midwife " you know something - i like to lather my hair in shampoo " ( random )

I said to my mum - " this is sooo sore, shes like... yeah i know hun... i said....but how the hell would you know ????? " lol well DUH

I said that the australian doctor was really nice - he was english

Midwife told me to " blow the pain away " ... i told her i was gonna blow her out the window

 

[supriseBump_x]

 

[shelx]

"stop touching me...i said stop fuking touching me im not having a contraction at the minute please let me enjoy it!"
although my labour was quite short i cant imagine 44-46 hours kimbobaloobob u must have been exhausted lol x

 

[JoJo16]

i hardly spoke when i was in labour i was so drugged up. on gas and air i was fine and was just laughing in the beggining.
the first time i spoke was wen she did the epi but did it in the wrong place ad i just shouted FUCK lol and then when epi wore off and they were trying to turn alice's head i was shouting GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF ME.
then i was shouting jsut give me c sections and then i changed my mind and was like no please dont just give me more drugs.
other than that i was quite well behaved except i had to wee allllll the time i just spent the whole time when i was on gas and air going backwards and forwards to the loo! xx

 

[BrEeZeY]

right b4 i got my spinal block i was cryin mom asked whats wrong, i said i just want to sleep but he wont stop coming, she laughed... (thank god fiance didnt hear)

fiance and mom kept saying it be okay,every time he said it i said okay okay, and when mom would say it i said no mom it wont u dont understand, it hurts she said i kno i said no u dont! lol

-after spinal block-
i dialted to 8 b4 i got it, i had to cuz i got to tired and they wanted me to sleep

they just got done giving it to me i couldnt feel my legs and i saw my leg and said is that mine? wtf y cant i feel it!??!?! and then passed out for a few sec and smacked my leg and was pinching it and said i still cant feel it!!!! why?!?! and started crying lol ( so embaressed now but he still laughs and reminds me of it)

 

[amandad192]

LOL at a lot of this!!!

I don't actually think I said anything funny. Although I had a few laughing fits on the gas and air.

My sister was making chicken noises when she had my niece..I don't think she'll ever be allowed to forget that!

 

[dougie]

some of these are great!

after i had the gas and air, they strapped me up to all the monitors
i was CONVINCED (even to this day) that they gave me a button to press when i had a contraction and just kept screaming wheres my button, i forgot to press the button!!

and i kept telling the anesthetist that i liked his accent - i think my OH got jealous 'you sound nice' 'oh i do like the way you speak' 'your accent is lovely' (needless to say this was after the epi and was still quite out of it!)

 

[Novbaby08]

Before epidural-
*on the phone with my sister*
Sister: ok, so you want the heat pack?
Me: YES!!! have you guys left yet?!
Sister: no, mom and me are cleaning your room
Me: Leave my room the fuck alone and get down here
Sister: here's mom (whispers to mom: she must be in pain, what a bitch)
Me: I heard that! i'm not sharing my ice with you!!!

Getting my epidural-
Dr: Hold still
Me: I am
Dr. you need to hold still so I can do this
Me: Haven't I been touched enough?

In labor-
Nurse: Ok lets see where were at?
Me: ok, but its up to you to spread me open, I'm dead from the ribs down


Me: I need a nurse I feel pressure!
Nurse: You were just checked your only a 7
Me: I know but I feel pressure like theres something right "there"
Nurse: ok I'll check you
Me: lol your like the 8th person today to stick fingers in there lol

During birth-
Dr.: ok keep pushing 1..2..3..4..STOP!
Me: *stops*
Dr: look down
Me: *looks down* omg her eyes are open!! Is she suppose to be like that????
My Mom: LMAO

 

[BlazenXx]

^^ lolol aw, so funny

 

[jovigirl93]

Lmao!

 

[Mellie1988]

Hahaha these are great!!!

My MW in my first labour asked me how many children I wanted in total....I was high on gas & air and said to her "I haven't even had my fucking first yet" Haha...I don't even remember it, but what a flippin Q to ask?!?!

With DS, again on Gas & Air, there was like an incubator cot thing & I swear there was a dog lead on it, I actually said to my OH, why is there a dog lead in that cot, i'm having a baby not a dog! haha....turns out it was a dog lead, one of those stretchy ones that retract? I can't for the life of me remember what they said they used it for though!! Haha

 

[samface182]

Hahaha these are great!!!

My MW in my first labour asked me how many children I wanted in total....I was high on gas & air and said to her "I haven't even had my fucking first yet" Haha...I don't even remember it, but what a flippin Q to ask?!?!

With DS, again on Gas & Air, there was like an incubator cot thing & I swear there was a dog lead on it, I actually said to my OH, why is there a dog lead in that cot, i'm having a baby not a dog! haha....turns out it was a dog lead, one of those stretchy ones that retract? I can't for the life of me remember what they said they used it for though!! Haha

i cant stop laughing!

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I haven't been in labor yet but I DID have knee surgery when I was 16. Nearly died during it because APPARENTLY alcohol isn't the only thing my body can't take a lot of. The anesthesia dropped my heart rate to a very dangerous level. (One more reason I'm going for a natural birth when I push some out!)

I remember yelling about how I wanted my ex-fiancee (we were still together at that time) when I was first waking up. Then the nurse came over and goes, "How are you doing, sweetie?" I go, "Honestly? This hurts like a bitch." "So you want some more morphine?" "Yes please."

I felt so ad afterwards that I found the nurse and apologized to her. Now that I'm not drugged to high hell I realize that she probably gets stuff like that all the time. hahaha

 

[turquoise117]

LMAO these are hilarious :ROFL:

 

[djt]

this thred needs 2 keep going ive nealy wet my self a few times ha

 

[Christine1993]

i was squeezing my mum's hand and shes got soft bones so apparently i said..

"cant squeeze your hand, brittle bones and ahin!"

apparently made a song with the gas and air..

"do u think this songs like that song?*inhales and exhales air* there you are there there you are!!" pmsl

the midwife told me i couldnt get an epi cause there was an emergency in..

"that midwife is a f&^%ing liar!!"

me to my boyfriend then to my mum..

"i loooooveeee you, you know i love him mummy DONT YOU?!" apparently sounding quite mad hahaha

 

[trashit]

i donr care that theres a risk ill be paralysed, paralyse me, anything is better than this pain!
Fuck you mum its your fault i cant have a water birth i inherited your stupid heart!
If you think about it, humans are failures really. Like elephants can go 2 years in pregnancy then push an elephant out with no pain relief and we have all this!
I dont like gas and air *takes a big drag* no i really dont like it it feels likr im pissed i hate being pissed *takes another drag* dont let me take this i dont like it!
Noone believes me but this isnt the baby its just a poo im pushing, a stools gonna drop out my arse any minute jusr watch out!

 

[supriseBump_x]

Ellie thats the funniest quotes iv ever read xx