February Valentines 2012 - We have our first Valentines!

[Jokerette]

Okay, this will not make sense to probably...everyone...on here but I need to get this out because I am beyond stressed right now!! I'm a reservist in the Air Force. Not by choice. When I first joined in Jan 99 I was active duty but I HATED it. After my 4 year commitment I got totally out and moved to Florida where my mom and sister were. I met my husband there, who was a active reservist and talked me into giving that a try. It was okay. But I still didn't like wearing the uniform every day and dealing with all the crap. So I became a semi-regular reservist. Instead of having to work 1 weekend per month, I can do it all at once. But I still HATE it. My unit ignore me unless they need something from me and then they YELL at me if I don't do something...even if I've tried for MONTHS to get it done with no help from them.

So that's the backstory. Way back in April I contacted my commander. I'd just had the miscarriage and just REALLY did not want to go up to D.C. (where my unit is) to live in a hotel for a month and a half by myself. I was asking him if I could perform my duty for that year here in AR. It took MONTHS of back and forth and of course at the end of May/beg of June I got pregnant again and so asked if I could Also do the coming years stuff here. He checked it all and said it was fine with him, I just needed to get my supervisors permission. I talked to him and he said he had to check. I've emailed him and gotten NO REPLY. The fiscal year ends tomorrow but the COL said that wasn't a problem...that my time doesn't go by FY. So I felt better. I really Really don't want to do it but I HAVE to.

So today I get a call from a Senior Master Sergeant. I'm a Staff Sergeant. All this means is that this person is higher rank than me. Well, if my unit had promoted me like they were supposed to YEARS ago, I'd be the same darn rank!!! So she proceeds to yell at me about not having done my stuff this year. Then she yelled that I haven't given them any paperwork about being pregnant (I ASKED if it was needed and of course, no one replied). Then she yelled about not returning my evaluation in a timely manner (I am supposed to get one EVERY YEAR. I have not gotten one in SIX YEARS. I have asked probably 20 times in those years to get them done. But NOW it's a priority??). Then she yelled that I haven't done my dental. Fine, my bad. I do need to do that it's just stupid because the one they want doesn't even clean your teeth, they just look at them so I don't like to bother with it!! (I get my teeth cleaned...but that doesn't count). THEN she yelled about how I have some military online courses that are overdue (well, no one told me they were even coming up due). Just this whole line. So she segways into "Well if you don't want to be a part of this unit you don't need to be". Excuse the hell out of me. Other than this past year, I have done EVERYTHING they've asked of me getting NOTHING in return!!!! I finally was able to sneak in that my husband is a Captain (far above her rank) and that got her to at least stop yelling at me.

I'm just SO TIRED of it. I have 8 years or so until I can retire and that's why my husband doesn't want me to just quit. And sure, a month and a half of work a year isn't bad, I know that. But it brings with it SO MUCH stress that you just wouldn't believe it. And now I'm totally confused as to if I can do my time here, if it's too late for the current year, etc etc.

JP- thank you for your service to our country. I'm really sorry that this year has not been easy and it sounds like you did everything you could to communicate to your officers well in advance! thinking of you, I hope it gets better

 

[Jokerette]

Amandad- oooh I'm sorry about the fleas! ugh, that really sucks hope it gets resolved soon!

Guppy- great tips!!!! Are you starting those now?? I have an anterior placenta so I think I'm higher probability of sunny side up baby... I'm going to use your tips!!!

 

[swanxxsong]

JP, I’m sorry to hear that they’re giving you such crap –and for no justifiable reason! What a pain!

Tiger, sorry that Jesse is ill again, and that you’re feeling it now. That stinks! I hope you both have a fast, and full, recovery asap!

TheRealMe – yay for your scan, can’t wait to hear your results!

Amanda – ugh, hope you are able to fix the flea issue soon! they are such nasty little buggers; what a pain!

Warning, rant ahead – feel free to ignore this but I need to vent and I’m sure once I unload, I’ll just feel better. Haha.

I am really reaching my breaking point in so many directions right now, ladies, I don’t even know what to think. :/ Firstly, my MIL – now I love her, and I know I’ve been very blessed with great in-laws who’d do anything for their kids. Plus I know I could be a lot worse off with her as I’ve heard some horrible stories on here and elsewhere, so I hate even venting about her. But ever since I got pregnant, she’s been just 10x more overbearing than before, and I’m struggling to lose patience. It’s always little things – like she got snotty at me because friends and coworkers got me gifts when I told them what we’re having – you know how it is, people can’t resist buying cute clothes! I did it for my nephew and still do. She was like, “Well you can tell them that Aria has two sets of grandparents and doesn’t need people buying stuff for her.” Um no, excuse me? First of all, that’s horribly rude to say to someone and also, who am I to turn down anything – hand-me-downs, gifts, whatever? I’m not trying to sound selfish here, as I expected none of these gifts and expect none from anyone, but people do what makes them happy! I work with a lot of women who are my MILs age or older, so babies excite them immensely and my closest girlfriends are PUMPED for me. I’m not going to be a jerk if they want to buy Aria an outfit, no matter how impractical or practical it is, or matter who is in her life.

Then she decided to take all the clothes home to wash and I didn’t want that as they were tagged and couldn’t be used until next summer anyway – so no point to wash them now. Plus she doesn’t use sensitive skin detergent so I’d need to wash them again anyway, AND the lady at consignment told me never de-tag things until they’re worn, because otherwise if Aria never fits into them, the consignment value is higher. So when I left with my parents, she TOOK THEM ANYWAY and they’re all neatly washed and folded at her house now. I’m like “…” but if I say anything, I look like an ungrateful jerk. I try not to vent to hub because he knows she’s overbearing and he stands up to her often, and I hate putting him in that position over such minor things… but it’s driving me nuts.

She always has comments to make, always tells me I’m buying too much and accepting too much free stuff, that HER baby never needed all this, etc. etc. and I am struggling with not telling her where to shove it.

I could go on, but I already whined enough about that. I feel awful being upset, but I am. Hormonal I guess? :shrugs:

Also, my friend. Mostly just one of my friends is giving me crap because she misses me and wants to see me. She doesn’t have a vehicle and the past two or three times I’ve been up to visit, she’s bailed because she was with her BF and whatever. That’s fine. But she keeps saying she misses me and needs me to come visit soon – however it’s not convenient because on weekdays I’m working (which she doesn’t work, so she doesn’t get) and weekends when I’m off, she’s with her BF and doesn’t want to be bothered.

But I try to explain this and she doesn’t get it. I do have PTO, sure, but I don’t really want to use it for driving a couple of hours each direction just to hang out for the day. Gas is expensive, that’s a pain drive for me and since she doesn’t drive, she doesn’t quite get that I guess? I’m just unsure what exactly she thinks this is – because she then gripes because I don’t text back fast enough (I’m at WORK, hi) and this and that.

To make matters worse, work is killing me and I can’t imagine how I’ll be sitting here in February, waiting to pop and working like I am now.

Basically, I’m whiny and you can all ignore me. I just had to get it off my chest and amazingly, I feel better!

 

[dizzyangel]

JP - your work sounds bloody useless! hope you can get things sorted asap!

Amandad - hope you get rid of fleas, the pesky little things!

swan - think you cant partly blame the hormones for having less patience. I have noticed Im getting a bit mood more easily and little things are starting to piss me off a bit!
I guess its nice to have a MIL that is nice and cares but I bet one thats a bit OTT can be a pain too!! Unfortunately I wont have a 'MIL', apart from never wanting to get married, OH's mum passed away a few years ago before we ever knew each other so peanut is down to just one grandma already.
Your friend sounds a little selfish, expecting you to go to visit her all the time is a bit of a piss-take! Could you not tell her that you visited her the last few times you have met so can she come to you this time?

Quick update from me - Just had a client come into the office and informed us that it stinks of gas in here! Great, nothing like making me panic! Then Ive been told that one of the women I work with could smell gas yesterday AND this morning!! The boss doesnt seem to think its a problem as 'we dont use gas in our office'. Maybe not, be we are inbetween a flat and a kebab shop that does!!!!!!!!
Have been feeling pretty tired the past few days so now Im worried that Im slowly being poisoned rather than me just getting tired from pregnancy!!!

 

[amandad192]

Ahhhhh We've got rid of the carpets. The carpet in Liam room was in a right state underneath. There was an old carpet being used as underlay and the bottom of it was falling apart. (was already here when we moved in)

So in the middle of cleaning it all up...my 3 day old hoover decides to break.
Well at least I still have the receipt. I'm waiting for my dad to bring his hoover over so I can finish off...but he's on a long trip to pick up my sisters up from their mums so I have about half hour-hour to relax and play with Liam...then it's back to busy busy busy. MY FEET HURT!!!

 

[TeQuiero]

Swan, I can understand being upset for some of that. Babies need a lot of things, so if friends want to give you things it is not really something to try to stop. That means that you can have some outfits that you put up for Aria to wear to nicer things (weddings, parties, etc.), as babies have a tendency to make clothes stained so fast!! Just try to not let it get to you (I know, easier said than done). My MIL is 1500 miles away, so even though I don't have her here to be overbearing I still here "But my mama said to do it this way".... which sometimes makes me want to strangle DH, and I say "the DR said to do it this way!!"


Amanda, relax a little while you are waiting for your dad to get there, don't overwork yourself!!

Dizzy, I hope that they check out the smell of gas!

 

[tiggertea]

Tell your MIL the grandparents can buy the bigger things, like a crib or pram. That'll shut her up.

 

[JohnsPrincess]

JP, I’m sorry to hear that they’re giving you such crap –and for no justifiable reason! What a pain!

Tiger, sorry that Jesse is ill again, and that you’re feeling it now. That stinks! I hope you both have a fast, and full, recovery asap!

TheRealMe – yay for your scan, can’t wait to hear your results!

Amanda – ugh, hope you are able to fix the flea issue soon! they are such nasty little buggers; what a pain!

Warning, rant ahead – feel free to ignore this but I need to vent and I’m sure once I unload, I’ll just feel better. Haha.

I am really reaching my breaking point in so many directions right now, ladies, I don’t even know what to think. :/ Firstly, my MIL – now I love her, and I know I’ve been very blessed with great in-laws who’d do anything for their kids. Plus I know I could be a lot worse off with her as I’ve heard some horrible stories on here and elsewhere, so I hate even venting about her. But ever since I got pregnant, she’s been just 10x more overbearing than before, and I’m struggling to lose patience. It’s always little things – like she got snotty at me because friends and coworkers got me gifts when I told them what we’re having – you know how it is, people can’t resist buying cute clothes! I did it for my nephew and still do. She was like, “Well you can tell them that Aria has two sets of grandparents and doesn’t need people buying stuff for her.” Um no, excuse me? First of all, that’s horribly rude to say to someone and also, who am I to turn down anything – hand-me-downs, gifts, whatever? I’m not trying to sound selfish here, as I expected none of these gifts and expect none from anyone, but people do what makes them happy! I work with a lot of women who are my MILs age or older, so babies excite them immensely and my closest girlfriends are PUMPED for me. I’m not going to be a jerk if they want to buy Aria an outfit, no matter how impractical or practical it is, or matter who is in her life.

Then she decided to take all the clothes home to wash and I didn’t want that as they were tagged and couldn’t be used until next summer anyway – so no point to wash them now. Plus she doesn’t use sensitive skin detergent so I’d need to wash them again anyway, AND the lady at consignment told me never de-tag things until they’re worn, because otherwise if Aria never fits into them, the consignment value is higher. So when I left with my parents, she TOOK THEM ANYWAY and they’re all neatly washed and folded at her house now. I’m like “…” but if I say anything, I look like an ungrateful jerk. I try not to vent to hub because he knows she’s overbearing and he stands up to her often, and I hate putting him in that position over such minor things… but it’s driving me nuts.

She always has comments to make, always tells me I’m buying too much and accepting too much free stuff, that HER baby never needed all this, etc. etc. and I am struggling with not telling her where to shove it.

I could go on, but I already whined enough about that. I feel awful being upset, but I am. Hormonal I guess? :shrugs:

Also, my friend. Mostly just one of my friends is giving me crap because she misses me and wants to see me. She doesn’t have a vehicle and the past two or three times I’ve been up to visit, she’s bailed because she was with her BF and whatever. That’s fine. But she keeps saying she misses me and needs me to come visit soon – however it’s not convenient because on weekdays I’m working (which she doesn’t work, so she doesn’t get) and weekends when I’m off, she’s with her BF and doesn’t want to be bothered.

But I try to explain this and she doesn’t get it. I do have PTO, sure, but I don’t really want to use it for driving a couple of hours each direction just to hang out for the day. Gas is expensive, that’s a pain drive for me and since she doesn’t drive, she doesn’t quite get that I guess? I’m just unsure what exactly she thinks this is – because she then gripes because I don’t text back fast enough (I’m at WORK, hi) and this and that.

To make matters worse, work is killing me and I can’t imagine how I’ll be sitting here in February, waiting to pop and working like I am now.

Basically, I’m whiny and you can all ignore me. I just had to get it off my chest and amazingly, I feel better!

Thank you!!

As for you mother in law - . First off...shouldn't she be HAPPY that so many people are looking forward to the birth of your child...so much so that they willingly went out and bought gifts?? What's it matter if she has 2 sets of grandparents or 4 or whatever? More love is a GOOD thing. I'd try to ignore the comments she makes. She has her way of thinking and more than likely, you won't change it. Just say "Thanks for the advice" and then do it your way anyways. But, the clothes thing would totally bug me. She took them from YOUR HOUSE and brought them to hers to clean? And took all the tags and stuff off? Yeah, that would actually piss me off. My baby - my stuff. I'm not sure if you really say anything about that, but I'd go get them and maybe just tell her that in the future you'd appreciate her not taking anything without asking. Maybe 2 people gave you the same thing and you were going to return one, who knows. But that's not right!!

And your friend...ugh. She's just going to have to deal. You work and are pregnant. Maybe she can get her bf to drive her out. I'm sure that's not ideal but it would be better than you making the trip and having her hang out with him anyways!!!

*hugs*

 

[JohnsPrincess]

JP - your work sounds bloody useless! hope you can get things sorted asap!

Amandad - hope you get rid of fleas, the pesky little things!

swan - think you cant partly blame the hormones for having less patience. I have noticed Im getting a bit mood more easily and little things are starting to piss me off a bit!
I guess its nice to have a MIL that is nice and cares but I bet one thats a bit OTT can be a pain too!! Unfortunately I wont have a 'MIL', apart from never wanting to get married, OH's mum passed away a few years ago before we ever knew each other so peanut is down to just one grandma already.
Your friend sounds a little selfish, expecting you to go to visit her all the time is a bit of a piss-take! Could you not tell her that you visited her the last few times you have met so can she come to you this time?

Quick update from me - Just had a client come into the office and informed us that it stinks of gas in here! Great, nothing like making me panic! Then Ive been told that one of the women I work with could smell gas yesterday AND this morning!! The boss doesnt seem to think its a problem as 'we dont use gas in our office'. Maybe not, be we are inbetween a flat and a kebab shop that does!!!!!!!!
Have been feeling pretty tired the past few days so now Im worried that Im slowly being poisoned rather than me just getting tired from pregnancy!!!

Oh that's not good!!! You should def get it checked out!!! If it builds up enough and is actually gas...there could be an explosion, not to mention the gas itself could be dangerous!!!!

 

[swanxxsong]

Thanks ladies! I just... try to be patient, I really do. And as I said, I'm blessed to have her and her husband in my life, and am glad Aria will have grandparents (I've only had one grandparent my entire life) who are proactive participants in her life. But goodness gracious, it's called gratitude! I'm thinking she'll see, in time, that things will get used, and her things will be appreciated just as much as things from others. I mean, she already gave me a huge bag of hubby's baby blankets, and I willingly accepted every last one and said I'd use them. Just need to figure out where on earth to store them all But thanks for letting me rant. I feel much better now.

My friend... is just selfish. I've decided I'm just letting it go at, "Well hopefully I'll see you at my shower!" since that's in just over a month anyway. Er, well closer to 2 months but whatever. She can wait. I'm too tired to adjust myself otherwise.

((now I'm being selfishhhh and I don't care LOL))

--

Hope they figure out what's going on Dizzy, that's scary!! Take care of yourself!

Ugh, Amanda. You poor thing! Kick up the feet and have a nice glass of water... you deserve a break after this nonsense!

 

[KellyC75]

I'm having an absolutely terrible time at the minute. We have 4 cats that I didn't put enough thought into decided to get them. We got the 1st 2 as mum and 6 week old kitten when SIL's OH left her last May/June and she was homeless. Krystal soon became pregnant again and we kept 2 kittens from that litter. As much as I love them and would never get rid of them, I'm currently wishing we hadn't got them. I seriously look from the neck down as if I have chicken pox. We have a SERIOUS flea problem upstairs. Downstairs is no where near as bad because we have laminate, but as soon as you step into either bedroom we're being attacked by fleas. We tried flea powder, flea spray but this week I've decided enough is enough, me and Liam went out for the day and OH flea-bombed. After he'd hoovered I came home and we've scrubbed pretty much the entire house. The cats have had a treatment of spot-on and or the next 3 weeks I'm going to be hoovering AT LEAST twice a day. Once I'm sure the fleas are gone I'll cut back to once a day, but at the minute I imagine my electric bill will be quite large.
I HATE FLEAS!!!

Fear not.....I have the solution Frontline, I have done a quick google & found it for less than £10 for 3 pipettes (cats have to be over 8 weeks old)

https://www.petdining.co.uk/frontline-spot-on-cat-3-pipettes-8142.html

Please do use this, it really really works, lasts for ages too & ive had 4 cats & 2 dogs over the years...Ive also told my Mum & Sister about it & they wont use any others now

 

[KellyC75]

To everyone that needs them

 

[Tobaira]

JP - that just blows.. I've never been in the reserves, but living in pretty much a military town I hear so many crappy stories about it that it blows my mind that anyone ever enrolls! I hope it gets better for you!

sorry to hear about the fleas amanda.. that sounds like no fun!

swan.. sounds like you need a too. Ranting always make me feel better. I've been pretty lucky so far seeing as the in-laws are in NY and very far away. I'm sure my ranting will come after the babies do as apparently the in-laws are planning on coming out for 2 mos after they are born. I can foresee things getting really ugly. They actually asked if they could bring their 2 cats with them when they came out. I was floored.. and said not a chance in h@&# (ok well I thought that - I honestly just said no). I have 2 cats who are going to be traumatized enough when I bring 2 little ones home, I don't need to bring 2 cats into the house (who have claws when mine don't). Plus, really - 4 cats underfoot with newborn twins.. yeah.. no....

 

[JohnsPrincess]

Ladies, I have the Best husband!! He usually stays out of my work business - letting me handle things on my own. But there are sometimes when no amount of me handling things will work and so he'll step in. I'm a SSgt which is about mid-enlisted. He's a CPT which is an officer so he has a lot more pull than I do!! He RARELY uses this but sometimes, he has to. He wrote the chick who first yelled at me over the phone and then sent me a nasty email (and cc'd everyone) a LONG email and CCd my COL! It's a great email, lol. I have no clue if she'll bother replying...seeing as she hasn't bothered replying to the emails I sent her about a couple of the things she asked for, but just the fact that he totally stepped up had my back really makes me feel better. Love that man!!

 

[Junebugs]

I'm having an absolutely terrible time at the minute. We have 4 cats that I didn't put enough thought into decided to get them. We got the 1st 2 as mum and 6 week old kitten when SIL's OH left her last May/June and she was homeless. Krystal soon became pregnant again and we kept 2 kittens from that litter. As much as I love them and would never get rid of them, I'm currently wishing we hadn't got them. I seriously look from the neck down as if I have chicken pox. We have a SERIOUS flea problem upstairs. Downstairs is no where near as bad because we have laminate, but as soon as you step into either bedroom we're being attacked by fleas. We tried flea powder, flea spray but this week I've decided enough is enough, me and Liam went out for the day and OH flea-bombed. After he'd hoovered I came home and we've scrubbed pretty much the entire house. The cats have had a treatment of spot-on and or the next 3 weeks I'm going to be hoovering AT LEAST twice a day. Once I'm sure the fleas are gone I'll cut back to once a day, but at the minute I imagine my electric bill will be quite large.
I HATE FLEAS!!!

Fear not.....I have the solution Frontline, I have done a quick google & found it for less than £10 for 3 pipettes (cats have to be over 8 weeks old)

https://www.petdining.co.uk/frontline-spot-on-cat-3-pipettes-8142.html

Please do use this, it really really works, lasts for ages too & ive had 4 cats & 2 dogs over the years...Ive also told my Mum & Sister about it & they wont use any others now

^ ---- very true. I am a nurse at a vet hospital and i can tell you that none of the flea bomb, baths, shampoos and so on work... flea live though all of it and your not going to get rid of the whole cycle that way. You need to go to the vet and get medication (like Frontline, although we do not carry that in Canada). Fleas need a host and they will want to jump on your cats so your cats will be the best treatment for all the fleas in the rest of the house. You will have to treat for 3 months to get rid of the WHOLE flea cycle or they will just keep coming back.

 

[EngineerGirl]

Been doing a lot of reading.. Secrets of Childhood by Maria Montessori (ok I confess I got 90% of the way through, it's a bit dry) and now I'm working on The baby whisperer and next on the list is one of the babywise books. Want to make sure I have lots of tools at my disposal since there's two and they are my first =) Has anyone else read any of these books or have any thoughts?

The author of Babywise has been kicked out of three very good Christian churches for arrogance and lying about his credentials. There's a lot more info here. Plus many pediatricians disagree with his advice on parent-directed feeding. I've had friends who followed Babywise very, very loosely and did well, but they all had friends who followed it strictly and their children had growth issues. However there may be some ladies on here who've used it and had great results, and I am just going off of stuff I've read, but I know that Babywise is huge among young Christian parents in the US and so I've heard tons about it and am really cautious about it. Most of my friends who've read it say that there's some good stuff in there but they don't follow it closely.

 

[EngineerGirl]

JP, thanks for your service and so sorry about the rough situation. As an Air Force brat (both parents!), I know it can be tough in the military, but those retirement benefits do count for a lot! So glad your DH went to bat for you.

Amanda, so sorry to hear about those awful fleas!

swanxxsong, sorry your MIL and friend are frustrating you. Hopefully your OH can help you as you work on boundaries.

Our house APPRAISED today, which removes the last big hurdle to buying it. We close on Oct. 21, 9 days after our anatomy scan. So many big things going on!

 

[Tobaira]

The author of Babywise has been kicked out of three very good Christian churches for arrogance and lying about his credentials. There's a lot more info here. Plus many pediatricians disagree with his advice on parent-directed feeding. I've had friends who followed Babywise very, very loosely and did well, but they all had friends who followed it strictly and their children had growth issues. However there may be some ladies on here who've used it and had great results, and I am just going off of stuff I've read, but I know that Babywise is huge among young Christian parents in the US and so I've heard tons about it and am really cautious about it. Most of my friends who've read it say that there's some good stuff in there but they don't follow it closely.

That's good to know, I'm actually on a waiting list for the book from the library so I haven't read it yet. Honestly I didn't realize that it had as much of a religious base as it apparently does. I probably would have put the book down after 5 mins just due to that - now I will just save myself the trouble of not even looking at it. I'll stick with mishmashing information from the other bazillion books I've read together to come up with something that works. Thanks for the advice! =)

 

[tiggertea]

I didn't read ANY books on parenting etc when I was expecting Abbie. My plan was to "just wing it" so I'm no help with recommendations.

 

[becstar]

I didn't read any either... until she came! Nothing worked but I found The No Cry Sleep Solution worked best out of them all and sat best with me.