Feel like giving up on TTC

[LAdodgerMama]

I have not been TTC long but I already feel like giving up. I hate the wait, having it always on my mind and the disappointment both my husband and I feel with a BFN. My heart goes out to you all who have been trying and unable to conceive. Wish you all the very best of luck.

 

[cass2615]

hey , how long have you been trying ? and maybe more relaxed feel is just what you need , it took me over 3 years between my two it was when me and oh decided to stop trying to hard it happened .

i know how horrible the tww is im still in one and its driving me crazy ive decided that im gonna give it all we got for 6 months and than it will be if it happens then it does approach because i dont want the most inmitate thing in the world to become a chore for either of us .

 

[LAdodgerMama]

Only a few cycles,which is why I feel so insensitive to say this when I know the struggle other go through to conceive. I have never been pregnant so this is all very new to me. DH and I enjoy the trying part as we do keep it relaxed and try to keep it exciting so that it doesn't become like a chore. It's just the after part. The TWW, and the feeling when AF arrives. I just can't do it. I'm over this feeling. Really thought this would be the month as I've had so many symptoms but getting a BFN is heartbreaking every time.

 

[SarahxLynn]

That feeling is the worst, and it only feels worse when you know that there are others out there who have struggled for years. This month, I made it through the TWW and kept my cool, but then my AF was a week late. So that whole week, I had convinced myself that I was pregnant and I started having "those symtoms". I took the first test 3 days after AF was due, but it was BFN. AF still hadn't come, so I didn't count myself down and out. Then after another 3 days, I took a test again and it was still negative. I clutched onto "sometimes it take more than a week to have enough HCG to register" then the next day AF arrived. I managed to get through work and just went home and cried. I had built it up so much in my head that it just hurt finding out there wasn't anything there in the first place.

I'm only on cycle 3, so I felt like it was wrong to be so disappointed. I had a few days where I was considering just giving up out of fear of having this experience get worse and worse every month. But in the end we decided to keep trying.

Where was I going with this? You aren't the only one to feel that disappointment so early on in your TTC journey. Seeing these stories of women who have been long term TTC and seeing some of the heartbreak makes it hard to validate my own feelings since we've only been trying 3 months, but don't push aside that feeling. Whether it's the first month or you've been trying for years, your feelings are your own. One person's experience doesn't make your experience any less important.

Also, don't give up. I'm holding on to the fact that when I'm finally holding that LO all of the heartbreak to get there will be worth it.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Awe hun I'm with you on that one. The TWW is hard for all of us. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat but with my DD and DS I was pregnant within 2 months of trying both times. I was also younger then and I guess more fertile. In September 2014 we decided we wanted to try to expand our little family. It was a not trying, not preventing type deal. I did get twice, only to have them taken away from me at 7/8 weeks. It felt like the rug had been jerked out from under me. I feel more determined than ever to get our rainbow baby so I can hopefully have more earth babies than angel babies but I am not too thrilled with this current cycle I am on. I just don't feel pregnant... maybe we are trying too hard. Idk. I'm too afraid to test, afraid I'll be disappointed with another Sometimes I regret TTC again at all! I just wanted to let you know that, even though our stories are different, I know exactly how heartbreaking it is.

 

[Hopeful.89]

Hi there...

I just thought I would share my story with you.

My husband and I started trying to conceive 3.5 months before our wedding (We got married June 21, 2014) the first month I started having horrible cramping on my lower right side, I thought it was an ectopic went to the hospital turned out it was my appendix - that surgery put us off about 4-6 weeks. Then I thought the stress from the wedding wasn't helping us get pregnant, we went to Vegas right after our wedding and then really started giving it our all, it wasn't until about 9 months of trying that I started to get really frustrated. I started BBT charting and doing Opk's - I didn't want to involve the stress of doctors until I hit 1 year of trying - I noticed a pattern on my charts but my temps were very low, but I was still getting positives on the ovulation kits, so I figured everything was working fine. In January I decided I needed to focus on something else so I started working out and putting all my energy to that - I was at a hockey tournament with a team my husband coaches and thought I was late so when we got home I looked at my schedule - that I forgot to take with me - and realized I was 10 days late!! I was so excited - I also noticed soon after that, that I had at least 10 early symptoms - I was so excited I took a HPT and got a blood test and they both came back negative - My doctors think I had a chemical and the hormone was already gone by the time i tested. Soon after that I booked in for a full physical it took them two months to get me in for it, we discovered that my thyroid was low. I started taking a hormone for my thyroid and just yesterday found out it is in ideal range for TTC - I have only been on the meds for 1 month. But for the first time I felt ovulation on my left side! FIRST TIME EVER! I will find out in a week or so if we were successful this cycle.
This is my 15th Cycle! and with the wait times in Canada I will not get in to an RE/OBGYN for another 4 months.

I know this is a lot to read but doing the little things to make sure that you are in optimal baby making shape is important. Get a physical and get your levels checked - Thyroid should be between a 1-2 for fertility (always ask for the number)
- Get some Red Rasberry Leaf tea (I found it comforting to know I was doing something to help, I love the tea so it also helped me relax)
- If you are a smoothie drinker add Maca (It is full of great nutrients so it is great whether you are TTC or not)
- Look into Pre-seed you can add it as a Lube if you feel you don't have enough EWCM. (Only get lubes that are approved safe for sperm - others will kill sperm)
Lastly - Try to schedule fun events in your TWW to help pass the time.

I know that it is not easy to get that BFN and then AF every cycle but there are little things you can do to put your mind at ease that you are helping and also to help distract you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about where my baby is and with everyone around me having kids like crazy it doesn't help.

Baby Dust to you and sorry for writing a novel.