Feel weird about nursing a child of the same sex?

[jo14]

its ok I had a girl first and throughout i knew I wanted to BF but was worried if she was a girl I would not be able to, was not a problem when she was born it just happened, had two boys since and fed both of them, but must admit them thoughts have come into my head again this time for some werid reason that is will be werid if its a girl!!!

 

[KangaandRoo]

You can go to some nursing classes they can help. I felt weird about it at first but after she was born I didn't mind your thoughts change so much through a pregnancy and very much after delivery. Just talk to you Doc or midwife about your feelings and they will give good advice and set you up with what you need.

 

[Sunshine12]

What is it about it that makes people feel weird? Im not judging BTW, just curious. xx

 

[KangaandRoo]

I felt odd Probably since it was my 1st and my in-laws didn't like BF I was contently asked when I was going to switch to the bottle but my mom really helped so did the BFing teacher that came to the room every day to help and came by the home to check up I got allot of support from the hospital! I bf till 2 years lol

 

[Silverlilly]

I think it's normal to have these feelings cross our minds. But I also think at this important time in our lives we all need to rise above what society has put in our heads about what is right, wrong, normal, or abnormal and look at the facts. Breastfeeding is what we were designed to do as women. Our breasts produce colostrum and milk for the sole purpose of nourishing a baby with the best possible nutrition we could give him or her. Any baby, whether male or female. Breastfeeding gives our babies an incredible advantage and the best start in life: immunity, protection against allergens, developmental advantages etc. To deny the baby that because of an emotional or mental hangup over gender would be doing the baby a disservice. Not breastfeeding for other reasons (inability, nursing issues etc) is a completely different matter - this can't be helped sometimes despite a mother's best efforts. But not doing it because it is "weird" is something I really believe we should all try to get past for the good of our babies! Our babies deserve it

Here is an article outlining research on the benefits of breastfeeding: https://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_more.html

 

[momof2wonderf]

Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that those are completely normal feelings, and also that they will go away. My oldest is my son, and as you said, I never thought about it and breastfed him just fine. However, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I had the same thoughts you did. I didn't think I could do it. However, right after labor, all of those feelings go out the window and it's all totally natural and instinctual. After I had my daughter, she breastfed beautifully and I never thought about it again. It was only after reading your post did I remember having those feelings. All will be fine!

 

[Arisa]

I am actually the other way around, if we have a boy I would find it so strange nappy changing and feeding and all...I don't know why, its my issue I guess

 

[pinklightbulb]

I don't get it either, just me though. It wouldn't have crossed my mind that it would be any different had this LO been a girl.

 

[arlosmama]

thanks for (almost) all of your replies ladies...I don't know why a sexual aspect was brought into it since it was never brought up...as I stated in my post...I just have this memory of a beautiful nursing relationship with my son and the fact that I am pregnant with a daughter and not another son is throwing me for a loop. I am extremely nervous about having a daughter for reasons being that I am so comfortable raising a boy, I am not a girly girl, I have a not so great relationship with my own mom, and my little guy and I have this special special relationship. I realize it should just be your baby and you feed it...but I am just having a hard time picturing myself nursing my daughter. Maybe because all I can picture is me nursing my son...I nursed my son on demand until he self weaned and was devastated that we couldn't go at least 2 years...so nursing isn't an issue. I know what my breasts are for, I know the benefits of BF'ing, I have never ever thought about not nursing my children. My son and I had a 4 month journey until I was pain and bleeding free...I was determined because I know how important it is...I just think it's the whole package of getting a girl, bonding, nursing...I can see why people would think "it's just your baby, what's the problem?" and trust me I am bothered because something is askew in my mind and I was curious if I was alone in these thoughts.

I have contacted my LLL leader and plan on attending some meetings to get more comfortable with myself...

I know I will be fine and I know I will nurse no matter how hard...there is just something internally throwing me off.

Thanks for all the encouraging posts and the ones that make me feel like I am not alone.

Sorry beth-terri if I made you over think it. So so sorry...

I really do appreciate all of the kind posts...it has made me feel less nervous...

 

[barasti]

Arlosmama... your thread title states that you "feel weird about nursing a child of the same sex", not "nervous about having a girl after raising a boy".


In that sentence alone, you've displayed some kind of convoluted homophobia.
Perhaps you should re-word your initial post if that's not the message you want to send.

 

[pinklightbulb]

arlosmama I don't understand about the BFing a different gender being weird but I think you are brave to come out and ask the question if anyone else has felt the same before. I think that your child is your child regardless of gender and you will go into BFing as you did last time once you see her little face, you will want to nourish her exactly the same way.

 

[arlosmama]

Arlosmama... your thread title states that you "feel weird about nursing a child of the same sex", not "nervous about having a girl after raising a boy".


In that sentence alone, you've displayed some kind of convoluted homophobia.
Perhaps you should re-word your initial post if that's not the message you want to send.

Well if you read my post it shows that I am nervous about having a girl after having my son and the trepidation I am showing. I don't feel like I need to reword it...I feel like my posts have been pretty self explanatory. I am not trying to have a discussion about homophobia especially when it comes to my own child...and there are going to be people who read into something that isn't there...and clearly I am not the only one who has had these worries...

sorry if how I am feeling is offensive to you...or how I worded it...but that is what it is...I nursed my son who was male and now I am nervous about nursing my daughter who is female...but my reasons for nervousness are fairly clear. I can't help it if people want to focus on the title and not the multiple posts themselves...

 

[pinklightbulb]

I don't think any sort of sexual connontation needed to be brought up either. It might be strange to those of us who don't understand but that doesn't mean anyone should start making interesting assumptions either...

 

[arlosmama]

arlosmama I don't understand about the BFing a different gender being weird but I think you are brave to come out and ask the question if anyone else has felt the same before. I think that your child is your child regardless of gender and you will go into BFing as you did last time once you see her little face, you will want to nourish her exactly the same way.

Thank you very much...I honestly have read and contacted people and clearly want to remedy my concerns...and advice from others who feel this way or went through it I would think be helpful...that was really my only reason for posting...because of a huge case of of self doubt in myself. I appreciate the response and I think you are right...my instincts will kick in...thanks again. It is much appreciated...

 

[pinklightbulb]

Anytime hun!

 

[Steph32]

Arlosmama- I know exactly how you feel. My son is 4, we have a very close relationship, and I nursed him for almost 2 years very successfully. We have always had this special bond that I believe was enhanced from the BF experience. I only know what it's like to raise and nurse a boy. I am not nor have ever been a girly girl either. I have always had more guys friends than girl friends. As much as I want and hope that I am having a girl this time, it is difficult to wrap my brain around it. I am definitely going to breastfeed no matter what, that's not even an issue... I understand that a baby is a baby, all babies need the nourishment... obviously... but it's just something that I'll have to get used to, as you are saying. So I think for many of the comments on here, maybe for some people it's hard to understand because their situation and experiences have been different. Like you, I have never really been as comfortable around girls or girly things, so I think that has a lot to do with it.

 

[arlosmama]

Arlosmama- I know exactly how you feel. My son is 4, we have a very close relationship, and I nursed him for almost 2 years very successfully. We have always had this special bond that I believe was enhanced from the BF experience. I only know what it's like to raise and nurse a boy. I am not nor have ever been a girly girl either. I have always had more guys friends than girl friends. As much as I want and hope that I am having a girl this time, it is difficult to wrap my brain around it. I am definitely going to breastfeed no matter what, that's not even an issue... I understand that a baby is a baby, all babies need the nourishment... obviously... but it's just something that I'll have to get used to, as you are saying. So I think for many of the comments on here, maybe for some people it's hard to understand because their situation and experiences have been different. Like you, I have never really been as comfortable around girls or girly things, so I think that has a lot to do with it.

I feel like I could have written this post...thank you so much...it really means alot...

 

[Steph32]

No problem I was actually relieved to come across your post because I wasn't sure if these feelings were weird or what. So thank YOU

 

[Tacey]

I'm not in the same position, as Alice was my first and nothing seemed more natural than breastfeeding her. From the girly girl perspective though, I think it's worth thinking about the range of personalities girls have. You say you aren't a girly girl, so why should she be? Especially in the early days, they are dependent on you. Alice has never worn anything flouncy or 'girly'. It's not my style. If she starts showing signs that she prefers that, then that's fine. Equally, if I have a boy who wants to wear dressees or play princes and princesses, that will be fine. The sex your baby is obviously a big part of their personality, but isn't the be all and end all.

I'm rambling, but what I'm trying to say is that if you have a daughter, she'll grow into her personality just like your son does. All you need to do is watch and be amazed at the wonderful person they are becoming!

 

[lauren10]

i feel the opposite...I have a girl already, and I'm wondering.......what the heck do I do with a boy!?! I think it's just the unknown, and I can only picture myself having a girl, because that's all I know. Be confident that once you see your baby it will all fall into place!