Feeling a little upset :(

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by FinallyBFP, Jul 5, 2019.

  1. FinallyBFP

    FinallyBFP Well-Known Member

    Oct 30, 2018
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    Some may view this as a pity party but honestly feeling so upset. Bit of background story I TTC for 7years had 3 miscarriages 1 failed IVF then a successful one! Baby is now 1 month old after a traumatic birth and horrible midwife, a vagina that should of had stitches but the midwife didn't do it, mistitus in my breasts (1st round of anti biotics) then lots of painful lumps down there supposedly abscesses (2nd round of anti bitoics) which then gave me thrush and within that time a colicky and clingy baby. My partner is SO helpful running around cooking for me and him and helping me with the washing etc. Although I am grateful I would still like to find my feet and get back to doing these household chores too. I’ve constantly said how lucky I am to have him and shown so much appreciation.

    He decides to tell me yesterday all I’m doing is “breast feeding and holding the baby” and he’s doing everything else. Feel silly maybe but it broke my heart. I’m really trying my best and I do still cook do the washing and clean up etc when my hands are free. He told me for weeks after everything we have been through that he wants to just see me with the baby bonding with her and having her to myself. I thought it amazing that he was supportive and encouraging of that. So to my shock I was very hurt when he said what he said and felt like a bad mum/partner. I’ve constantly told him do you want me to do it or hold the baby whilst I do it (whatever he’s doing) and he insists that it’s fine and that he loves to cook and that he loves that I’m taking care of his baby. I’ve even introduced (expressed milk) the bottle in emergencies so he can take over and I can share the load.

    Am I being over the top? I’ve really tried my best with all of the aftermath of birth I feel like my body is letting me down and I’m constantly getting knocked back when trying to be this perfect partner/mum. It’s really hurt my feelings and when I confronted him with it the next day he just said you are doing a good job I was just hot and bothered yesterday.

    He’s very much an OCD person he will want something done there and then instead of doing the dishes in the next hour after I’ve finished feeding or whatever he will want it done there and then so will end up doing it himself so it’s not so much that I can’t do it he’s just not giving me the chance to do it. Any advise ladies I really feel down :(
  2. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Waiting on Bee

    Jul 13, 2010
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    He has unrealistic expectations after you have just given birth!!

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