feeling like people think I didn't try hard enough

[hsollis]

I went through almost 2 days of heavy contractions and wasn't allowed to push because I couldn't dilate due to the position of the baby. She wasn't coming and apparently she was very big for me. Not big in general but for me yes.

I was so exhausted from trying not to push and dealing with the horrible pains and they couldn't get me more dilated that I went in for an emergency c-section.

To be frank, I'd ignore everyone else as you did what was best for the baby and that's what counts in my book as the most important thing.

 

[sonny]

I had a C-section too and you get feelings of being cheated out of the birth you wanted. I still feel that sometimes but i know it was best for Tabs. ( It took 5 midwives and for me to get to 6cm before they said she was breech! Then said she would be too big to push and by then her oxygen levels had gone down.)
Your LO is gorgeous and you are now both healthy etc keep your chin up hun as we have Tabs and Alasdairs wedding to organise now ;-)

 

[Samantha675]

I think those of us that had c-sections have a hard time dealing afterwards with feelings of failure. I sure do. I so wanted my natural homebirth, and ended up with a totally medical c-section birth. The complete opposite. I was and to this day devestated by my labor and birth. I still can't understand why my body failed me so. Unlike you I never even got the chance to push, after 3-4 hours of abnormal and very intense contractions, transfer to hopital with 8 hours of pitocin, I only dilated to a 3 when Bren started to stress. I laid there all night praying and begging my body to do what I wanted. I know I tried, and I know you did as well. Unless someone is in our body during our labor, they just don't know!

 

[JJF]

So sorry you feel that way, and poooeeeeyyyy on anyone who thinks or says that to you. No body gets prego and says, yippie, can't wait for that c section but we don't get to choose how these precious babies come out, only matters that they are here

 

[Heather.78]

awww hunnie it doesnt matter how baby arrived as long as you and baby got through it and are both happy and healthy well done. Im a earthmother type so therefore I wanted a waterbirth and all the hippy stuff to go along with it, but when the day came and it was an emergency I threw the earthmother out the window begged for the epidural and even though I couldnt feel a thing wouldnt let them take the gas and air away. see so dont beat yourself up about it

 

[poppy]

The baby being born safely is the most important thing, not how he or she came into the world. Ignore any judgemental people out there, even though it is hard. I didn't have a caesarean but I did have an epidural and most people have not been judgemental about it, however one lady did say to me, 'oh if you hadn't had the epidural you would not have needed to have a forceps delivery or a manual placenta delivery.' Now, being no medical expert I don't know why she felt she had the authority to say this, but it certainly made me feel like crap at the time. But, at the end of the day, Tristan was born safely and calmly (he maintained a normal heartbeat throughout and gained 9/10 in the Apgar scorings) and the doctors were great throughout my placenta procedure.

Ignore judgemental comments that is what I say - you did brilliantly! Childbirth is not a competition on who goes through the most pain, has the least pain relief etc etc.

xxx