feeling lost and pushed to formula

[kassiaethne]

since minute one of my son being born the whole hospital was just "oh we just supliment formula to all the babies until the mothers milk comes in" and they had already fed him formula without even asking me or me even seeing my baby since shoving him out of my hoohaa. Then I sit there and argue that I just want him breastfed I don't want him on formula and they look at me like I'm a bad mom and going to starve him if I don't feed him formula.

So this would be my first time breast feeding and I keep asking for help and I don't know what i"m doing, and the only thing the nurses and staff say is oh, you should give him formula so that he can eat because your milk isn't in. Or they would just say okay you can breast feed him only *walks away* no help, no direction, only "hold your breast away from his nose so you don't suffocate him"

So this whole time I was just struggling to feed him, was a whole mess of me thinking i'm starving him and them telling me "formula formula formula" My husband found a booklet on how to breastfeed and I took the directions out of it and I could get him to at least suckle every few seconds and that was about it. So I put my foot down and said breast feed only but then when I would feed him I would see milk spit up so I'm quite sure they kept giving him formula without saying -.-

Fast forward home, he's crying a ton, not pooping, not latching well, I'm at my wits end and tired of the formula pushers so I choose another pediatrician for him and decide to go with them, it's a group of pediatricians that are suppose to be wonderful. I tell the doctor that I want breastfeeding help and he sends in a nurse and she tells me that i need a nipple guard because I have flat nipples and it should help.

Now as of last night he still hasn't pooped since we took him home from the hospital, nada, nothing. And the doctor had given us suppositories to give him to make him poo with little instructions on how to use em except just "rub it on his butt" At this point I am beyond frustrated, even with the nipple guard it is tough to feed him with my lack of experience and frustrations and him being constipated and angry. So we call the doctor and he says "give him formula you're just not feeding him enough, if he hasn't pooped by 11am after that take him into his office for him to check up on and we would do more.

Well I am in tears at this point thinking I'm starving my child and not producing enough, and just crumbling under the lack of support this stupid country has towards breastfeeding. I am at my wits end I don't know how to do what I want, which is breastfeed, without some sort of help or direction and no one here is wanting to help. It's just all about formula and if you're breastfeeding and the baby is fussy you're just not feeding him enough and get him on formula right away.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I am frustrated, tired, and feeling beaten down.

 

[Katteh]

Gosh, you poor thing, that sounds horrendous. I'm so sorry you have been treated so badly.

Are you able to find a lactation consultant nearby? If so you would definitely benefit from seeing someone.

In the meantime, keep offering baby your breast every couple of hours, or whenever he asks for it. Check youtube for videos on how to get him to latch, the kellymom site is really good for info on breastfeeding too.

Has your milk come in yet?

It is a bit concerning that he hasn't pooed yet, it might be that you do end up needing to supplement,, but if you do then it's definitely not the end of breastfeeding, it will just take a little work to move him off the formula. Hopefully the doctor will be able to work with you to help making it work.

Welldone for persevering xxx

 

[Calif]

You need to keep putting him to your breast otherwise your milk may not come in as well. If you're supplementing, you need to pump to encourage your milk production. It will be hard to pump out colostrum. I only got drops. But feed these drops to your baby with a dropper.

Your clear milk now is colostrum and is very good for the baby. I'm so sorry or the bad hospital. How did women do it for centuries without formula? They did not supplement. The colostrum is enough for the baby's tiny stomach.

 

[Calif]

I saw your signature that your baby is one week old. Your milk should have come in by now, has it? Your baby still hasn't pooped? You need to see a lactation consultant. If you are supplementing, he may have constipation caused by formula because it's hard on their stomach. Keep pumping to keep up supply till you can breastfeed

 

[kassiaethne]

yes my milk came in on day four and after feeding him with the nipple shield I can still get about half an ounce to an ounce out of my breasts (combined) if I pump right after. which also makes me wonder if he's sucking enough on the nipple shield to get enough milk if I can pump so much afterwards.

We finally got him to poop with the suppository last night. We cut it in half and shoved it up his poor little bootie and he pooped like it was a scene out of a WW2 film and he was the mud supplier. After that he's already pooped on his own this morning as well. So I am happy about that.

Now that I got more sleep, and him to poop I am back to being determined to get this right. I read online that I could try to squeeze my nipple like a burger and get it in his mouth to try and get him to suck more. This seems to be working for a few sucks anyways then he keeps falling asleep on me. it's *suck suck....sleep....delatch.....start over because I wake him up* but at least he's sucking now without the nipple shield (he did the sucking the same way with it anyways)

I also asked my husband to find me a lactation consultant so we can go ourselves and get help. So far though there is a couple of consultants but they are in another state. Very frustrating but I will be willing to go if I have to. I just don't really want to take the baby in a taxi so far while he's so little.

am thinking if I get desperate because he isn't latching well, that I could do breast feeding just to get him to stimulate the milk production then pump and feed him that afterwards???

 

[xxxjessxxx]

keep trying hun, my milk didn't come in until 9 days after as I lost too much blood at birth etc. I had times and many nights where I considered formula because my daughter also lost a lot of weight. have faith in yourself and your boobies you can do it xx

 

[annio84]

If you're getting him to latch but he's falling asleep before taking much then try tickling his feet or gently blowing on his face to keep him awake, try to do this if he takes a short pause so it doesn't get to the point of coming off and starting over. Grace was like this for the first three days, very sleepy, and I was advised to do this and it would get her to feed for a bit longer. After that she started to get the message that she had to work a bit for the food, although it also coincided with my milk coming in so perhaps that helped. I was also advised to hand express a few drops so that when I put my nipple in her mouth she got a taste of it.

I hope you manage to find a suitable LC and as the other ladies have said, well done you for sticking with it, even with so much negativity. You're doing a great job.

 

[Katteh]

Great news about the poop!

Try stripping him down to just a nappy, and taking your top off when feeding him, it will keep him a bit more awake hopefully. Sadly, in the early days you do end needing to be a little mean, so tickling and prodding etc to keep him awake. I even ended up dipping my fingers in water and then stroking his head when I got really desperate! During the day, try not to let him go more than 3 hours without a feed (3 hours from start of last feed) and if he is only taking a few sucks then it will obviously need to be far more frequently.

It really angers me that you don't have access to the support you deserve from healthcare professionals in your area. Why they try to encourage something that is artificial when something so much better for you and baby is readily available is just beyond me. Xx

 

[CandyDay]

you could try seeing if there is a la leche league in your area and go to a meetup they are a huge help.

you could also take a look at Dr jack Newman website there are lots of videos that you can watch to see how your latch is. You could also email him and see what advice he can give you over email.
https://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/content.php?pagename=videos

You are doing a great job. Just keep up the breastfeeding and your supply will be just right for your LO. The first few weeks are the hardest but it does get better.

 

[kassiaethne]

That is the group I was talking about that is a state away. Am sad about that but I am excited because my husband found a lactation consultant and they are coming tomorrow at 3pm!!! Today I've just been sitting here torn that I may be starving my son. Just kills me that he's not latching well and just sucking a few times then giving up.

I've started pumping between feeds and then waiting for him to try and latch for 20 mins per breast to try and get my milk up, then feed him the milk I expressed. Am hoping after tomorrow I won't have to keep doing this because I can only seem to get about 20ml at a time ahead of him. So I know he's getting at least that each feed

 

[nzjade]

Sorry my post isn't very helpful but I am appalled by this!! Has the hospital not heard of colostrum?? It's all a baby needs until Mum's milk comes in! I find it shocking that they wouldn't help you. Good on you for sticking to your guns.

 

[Katteh]

Great news! Hope it goes well, let us know how you get on xx

 

[Kirstiedenman]

So sorry you haven't had any help and quite the opposite if it actual! I have flat/inverted nipples when my son was born and I had the same problem he would fall asleep from being exhausted from trying to get my nipple to come out. I used to shields and they are great! It helped me so much with the suction keeping my nipple stimulated enough for him to get the milk. If you think your supply is low maybe try something herbal like blessed thistle or fenugreek it is great for the supply I used the blessed thistle as my supply dried up because of the lack of latch and it increased dramatically. I use to also strip him off to feed that helped him stay awake I would also get completely naked on my top half as crazy as that sounds lol and the best latch position was the rugby or football hold my nipple was easily stimulated that way. Good on you for being so strong and persisting! You will find if you keep feeding your nipple will draw out completely and go to a moral nipple the longer you feed. I am super excited to have normal nipples this time round for an easier latch.
But it gets easier and can be done try to just stay calm as hard as that can be sometimes and know that it does get better. Good luck Hun and I will be stalking to see how you go.

 

[kassiaethne]

yeah the nipple shield really seemed to be helping alot in the beginning but then he started getting lazy on them and not wanting to suck much, just whatever poured out then would half heartedly suck till he fell asleep and I knew he wasn't getting much out of it.

yay the lactation consultant just called and said she will be here at 1:30 and is on her way already!! I wonder if I'm a wierdo for wanting to get up and dance around excitedly for a lactation consultant comming to see me???

 

[sherple]

From the way you have suffered with the lack of support so far, i would say you have every right to be excited that someone is actually coming to help you!!! I hope they give you all the support and encouragement that you deserve and it all goes well for you. I was really lucky with my last dd and had plenty of healthcare support and this time it would appear there will be even more in my area with groups and things. Hopefully your country will get its act into gear soon. Surely there must be other mothers wanting to breastfeed.

 

[kassiaethne]

So I am very happy with how it went. Well somewhat, downside is he is tongue tied and can't latch properly either till he's a little older OR till I get it snipped at the pediatricians office. Figures he got my bad genetics, couldn't get my eye color huh!!! We did keep trying for a while but she said he just can't extend his tongue far enough to latch well enough.

So I am going to start exorcising his tongue with my finger to slowly get the muscles built to extend outward and express every 2 hours to get my supply up and keep it up. She said not to force trying to bf because it will cause it to be a negative thing and experience so when we do get his tongue fixed he will see the breast in a negative rather then positive. What I am to do is to lay him on my chest and breasts and let him try as he wants but do as much skin to skin contact and just make sure that being at the breast is more positive for when we can breastfeed.

So....in the end...can't breastfeed quite yet but there is an easy fix to it and then we can try again. Not to keen on having to bottle feed him for a while but at least it's still breast milk and we will keep trying once his tongue tie is fixed

 

[Grateful365]

Just wanted to stop in and say congrats for sticking with it! What a wonderful and determined mother you are. I'm glad your meeting with the lactation consult went well and you got answers as to why baby was not latching well.

I have been through some different but also difficult issues with breastfeeding. When he wasn't gaining weight I breastfed and then pumped after and gave him what I pumped. Getting the extra he got stronger and his appetite increased. In turn he began to stay awake better and suck stronger. When he starts to dose I keep a cool washcloth to gently wipe his forehead to wake him up. ;-)

Keep us up to date on how it goes with the pumping!

 

[CandyDay]

I would get the tongue tie snipped as soon as you can. My LO had to have it done and it was an easy simple procedure. It is easier to get done the younger they are. They wrapped her up in a blanket so she couldn't squirm too much (she cried more about that then anything else) Then they froze the area under her tongue, snipped it and stopped the bleeding. And then they passed her to me so that she could feed.
It felt soo amazing when they passed her back to me and she could have a proper feed.
So I would recommend getting it snipped as soon as you can.

 

[Kirstiedenman]

That's so great you got some answers and something so easily fixed!!! Hopefully you can have his younger snipped ASAP and start enjoying this experience. It's so great that you are being so dedicated and putting in 110% your son is very lucky to have a mummy like you. I will be sticking to this thread for an update and I am sure we will hear good things

 

[sherple]

Im glad things went well with the consultant for you and that theres a simple solution. My first dd was tongue tied too but she was 1 before they would do anything about it, making it a traumatic experience for us. She doesnt remember it now of course but at the time i felt awful.