Feeling louzy:(

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by wantababybump, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. wantababybump

    wantababybump Well-Known Member

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    Im really just having one of those days. Broke down today crying today and just felt so cranky and upset. Looked in my closet to find something to wear tonight and I have nothing! Nothing that fits, nothing that looks good...just all crap! My self esteem isnt that great lately and I have been major hard on myself I just dont know why. I used to have fairly good self esteem, not great but I was okay with how I looked and I felt fine. When I got pregnant the first time I started to get really bad acne (my skin used to be really nice) so now Im always worried and paranoid about my face and I really just want it cleared up. I started to gain weight which in all honesty was really weird for me because I have always been thin and petite. I know some may think thats petty and that Im worrying about nothing but it really is playing on my mind especially since being pregnant twice and having the 2 miscarriages. I probbly wouldnt be that concerned with my weight if I had clothes that fit properly. I have stretch marks all over my legs and the backs of my knees which I hate but doesnt surprise me. I am 4ft 11in and can never find clothes to fit me and really dont have the money or time to get all my clothes tailored which I would love to do. If clothes fit me around the waist then they are wayyy too long as now my waist size is bigger than it used to be. If the clothes fit in the length then they are usually way too small around the waist. I just seem to never be able to win. Honestly if you were to ask my bestfriend she would even say for me to have this weight on me is weird to see (although she would also say I look fine the way I am-just is different for me)...I just feel fat, I hate my hair, I hate my clothes, I hate this acne and I just feel ugly. I dont have the money to make myself feel beautiful by getting my hair cut or getting new clothes etc so I guess I will just have to feel this way for a while. I honestly just feel down on myself right now. You really dont have to comment on this I just needed somewhere to vent how I feel as my husband tells me I am beautiful anyways but just doesnt understand how I really feel and no matter how much I really try to talk to him about it he always says "I think you are beautiful' but its different. I dunno...probably doesnt make sense and some may not understand but its just how I am feeling lately. If I was pregnant or have had a child I really dont think I would be this worried about all this as it would all be worth it but I have just feel like I have nothing to show for it. Sorry for the rambling and whatnot. :cry:
     
  2. acv_17

    acv_17 TTC @ 22

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  3. CHILLbilly

    CHILLbilly Well-Known Member

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    You poor sweety!!!!!
    I have days/ weeks like that as well.....been cutting my own hair...NOT a good idea..haha
    Only have one pair of jeans that fit....tops to small due to bigger boobs now....
    I know how you feel!!
    Its very easy to feel negative about oneself...and much harder to feel positive.
    Have you tried wearing skirts....I find an elastic type waist...A frame ..hides all my bumps and lumps...especially my waist and stomach area.
    Do you have any good second hand stores to look through???
    or maybe a trade with friends if you have any that are same height or size?


    Free things that make me feel good!!!!!!
    walk through the woods...
    taking nice pics of myself...( usually have to take 20 or so to find a few good ones )
    bubble baths
    back massage from OH
    or better yet foot massage
    pick some wildflowers
    if the sun ever comes out....sit out and catch a few rays
    I went for a canoe ride around a small lake and the exercise felt so good..I am incined to start walking/ running again.......the rush you feel while being active ( and I am so unactive) really make you feel good!!!!!!!!!

    i hope you start feeling better about yourself :hug:
     
  4. tmr1234

    tmr1234 Guest

    :hug::hug::hug: i feel the same every morning this week :hugs:
     
  5. wishingonastar

    wishingonastar Well-Known Member

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    you poor thing :( i know it's easier said than done, but you really gotta try stuff like suggested above, cos otherwise the way you're feeling will get worse not better. negative thoughts grow faster than positive ones unfortunately so don't let the thoughts and feelings get worse cos then it'll be much harder to feel better later on.

    can you see your doctor about the acne? i had it few years back and although doctor wanted to let them 'go on their own' i explained it was making my life a misery and then got prescribed a cream to apply which got rid of them (use it sparingly else it dries skin out too much!)

    my friend suffers from terrible acne which seems untreatable with many things, but has learnt to control it largely by not using moisturiser on her face that has oil in (nivea do great oil free moisturiser). always cleanse skin properly daily even when you really can't be arsed cos that makes big difference. she also uses a foundation base to cover it up during day else she said she wouldn't feel confident to go out some days and if you use a powder based one it won't be oily on your skin.

    she also gets herbal rememdy from internet which helps reduce outbreaks.

    you could do this stuff prior to seeing doc and to stop chances of it coming back once its gone.

    a few years back, i was in your position with weight. i always used to be someone who got compliments on how slim i was,but then my clothes didn't fit, my weight ballooned and i'm not overly sure why (think my metabolism changed) and suddenly i was in the 'curvy girls club' and i hated it because like you say it wasn't me and i no longer felt like me. i felt fat, frumpy and awful. i said to my new boyfriend at the time that i felt fat and wanted to lose weight and he said i couldn't change my shape cos i'm naturally big boned (naturally big fecking boned?????) i was already feeling crap and knew i wasn't big boned cos i used to be skinny but thought, god is this how i appear to people???

    i got rid of that weight by eating low fat foods and smaller portions wherever possible and when i snacked it was on healthier options with the odd nice treat and the weight came off i then moved to exercising when i got a little slimmer cos i then felt i could face people in an exercise capacity (up til then no way was i letting them laugh at my fat arse working out!).

    so...perhaps thats what's happened to you? your hormones seem to be playing up and perhaps your metabolic rate has changed so i think you need to see if doc can help with anything with acne (and possibly hormones) and then maybe a change of diet will make the difference you're looking for?
    x x x x x
     
  6. wishingonastar

    wishingonastar Well-Known Member

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    goodness i've written an essay! lol x
     
  7. SianMA

    SianMA Mum to Ryan TTC#2

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    Oh hunni it's awful when you're feeling so crappy! Big :hug: for your you.

    Whenever I feel really down I take a lovely long, hot bath and just pamper myself for a bit. I make time to do all the little things that I don't get time to do very often - give myself a manicure and pedicure, deep-condition my hair, moisturise my entire body then site around in my pyjamas watching old films. I try not to give in to the junk food temptation coz that only makes me feel worse so I make myself a nice healthy meal on just chill for a bit.
     
  8. leanne0166

    leanne0166 TTC #1 after m/c

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    Well you look very pretty in your avatar picture! Don't be blue. I too have down days, two weeks ago I wanted to literally throw myself under a bus. Felt ugly, fat, horrible hair, thought everyone hated me!!! Didn't want to leave the house as felt so vile, and these feelings were not like me at all. I realised it was probably due to stress, and even when we think we are not stressed, we are without realising.

    Chill out, be kind to yourself, have a bath, papmer yourself, and look in the mirror and tell yourself (and believe it) that you are actually 'alright'. That's what I do. Then I think about my husband and how much he loves me and think about those that have no one, and I realise I am not alone, there are people areound me who love me, and I could be worse looking!!! I realise I am no beauty queen, but I am also no freak... And nor are you. Love yourself, like others love you.

    Take care, chin up and be strong x
     
  9. NickyT75

    NickyT75 RIP Sophie my angel

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    Aw hun I know exactly where you are coming from :hugs:

    You are bound to be feeling low after 2 losses & I know the feeling of not having anything to wear coz nothing fits anymore :hugs:

    I think pregnancy must have an effect on our metabolism or something? or maybe its just that we were contented while we were pregnant so stopped worrying about every single mouthful we ate?
    the pounds seem to creep up on you and it doesnt seem to matter coz we are providing nourishment for our unborn child - then suddenly we find ourselves not pregnant and the sadness can trigger comfort eating which only ends up making us feel worse :hugs:

    I feel for you with regards to finding it hard to buy clothes to fit as I have the same problem finding trousers that are long enough & have to wear flat shoes to stop them flapping round my shins!!

    I dont really know what to say to make you feel better babe (I wish I did) coz I really feel the same way myself so it'd be a bit hypocritical of me to tell you to cheer up etc...

    Maybe we could start a diet/excersise thingy together & be diet buddies??

    It might help us to stay on track if we have someone to keep us motivated?

    Have a think about it & let me know if you are interested xx
     
  10. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    you are beautiful, and i know it is tough gaining weight and being depressed, and i really hope that this is your healthy baby making month because you deserve it. you have been through a lot this past year, you deserve a break. hope you feel better soon!
     
  11. Chris77

    Chris77 Mommy to PJ and Gavin

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  12. happy mum

    happy mum Well-Known Member

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    this advice prob won't make the slightest bit of differnce, but it feels good for a few mins.....
    i go out in my car... screem as loud and as long as i can(can't do this anywhere else!! )it then usually makes me laugh as i feel so stupid.
    like i said prob won't change anything, but its free!! and a good stress release!!
     
  13. wantababybump

    wantababybump Well-Known Member

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    I would love to actually. I have never dieted before so I really have no idea how to do all that, so you will have to guide me! xo
     
  14. MarieLou72

    MarieLou72 Mummy to 1, MC#2

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    I'm up for being a diet buddy too!!! I gained 9 pounds during 8 weeks pregnancy then mc. Have gained another pound since and don't want it to spiral out of control! Am trying to do weight watchers but need some motivation (and some competition!!!).

    :hug:
     
  15. wantababybump

    wantababybump Well-Known Member

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    Would love to! The more support the better. I looked in the mirror after my shower today and said to myself "I need to do something with myself, Im just not happy". I should be comfortable with how I look and at this point I am not. Thinking about getting proactiv (didnt know you could get it offline and they have paypal!!) when I can get some extra money but for now I will use clean and clear, will use my stretch mark cream from AVON and will try this whole diet and exercise thing. We will have to figure out details on all of this!
     
  16. Sparklebaby

    Sparklebaby Mummy to Jenny

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    :hug:sounds like someone needs a Sparklebaby hug! :hug::hugs::hug::hugs::hug::hugs:
    We all have our off days babes. including me. I feel so :hissy::cry:at the moment all I want is just answers as to am I or not. (gonna do another test tomrro, but Im not going there as this is your thread.

    There are people out there hon, that are far worse off than you....thats one way to look at it.
    Take a look in the mirror, pout ur lips, blow urself a kiss, a wink of the eye and say....."I am gorgeous and it dont matter what anyone else thinks!"

    :awww::kiss::hug:
     
  17. MarieLou72

    MarieLou72 Mummy to 1, MC#2

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    Definitely! I got my first :witch: this morning after TTC after mc so have eaten everything in site today! Feel like such a pig. Wasn't exactly good over the weekend either!
     
  18. wantababybump

    wantababybump Well-Known Member

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    You really made me smile :) thanks :hug:
     
  19. Sparklebaby

    Sparklebaby Mummy to Jenny

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    aw hun thats ok.....I try my best xxxxx keep that chin up girly! :hugs:
     
  20. JJF

    JJF Finished at 3

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    Wow, I can totally feel your pain on the no clothes around here. I've steadly gained weight over the years and I have had no budget for clothes for about 7 years now so I honestly have clothes that are about 5 yrs old and I was smaller then too. You know whats odd, sounds like you have the same issues, is no matter what weight I have been, I havn't found the PERFECT pair of jeans since I was 18 (13 yrs ago) no matter the size its like I'm in between sizes. I've tried MANY stores and MANY MANY styles and many sizes. I don't think I'm overly picky but I'd just one day LOVE a good pair of jeans that fit JUST RIGHT-maybe they don't exsist but other women seem to find them.

    There's my rant for the day. I need to join you ladies on the 'lose weight' campaign but just not ready and don't want to fail out! Good for you all for starting it, it takes courage!!!!

    Hang in there Wantababybump, been through 3 MC myself and this last one has been HARD, so keep your chin up, you'll get the baby you desire/deserve hopefully very soon!
     

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