Fireflies TCC a rainbow baby

[hope2bmother]

I'm miscarrying right now xx

I find it really hard looking at pregnant women. I loved being pregnant. I'm so glad for DS.[/QUOTE]

I am so sorry for your loss. I could literally feel my heart shattering as I was miscarrying.

I know what you mean about seeing pregnant women. I feel this way, but remind myself that I don't know what that woman went through to get pregnant. Still, it hurts. It hurts deeply. It seems like everyone I know is pregnant and pregnant photos/new baby photos are constantly blowing up my Facebook news feed.

Sending you many big hugs.

 

[CelticNiamh]

Thank you for the welcome. So grateful to have found this group. And thank you for reading my story. All our Little Beans will be remembered, loved, and cherished forever. I look forward to taking on this next adventure with all of you. May we all be holding our rainbows soon!

yes very soon before the end of 2015

I am thinking of taking Maca again kind of scared to take it now after MC it helped me in the past, also playing on my mind is my blood sugars they been a little above normal the last few months not much 6.4 to 6.9 worried that played a part some how I am going to mention it on Friday and see what the say

 

[CelticNiamh]

I should of added that would be my morning fasting levels they should be 5.8 or under I think!

 

[hope2bmother]

Celtic,

Are you referring to your hemoglobin a1c, which is like the average of your blood sugars over three months? According to my non-expert knowledge, people without diabetes should have an a1c between 4% and 5.6%. A range of 5.7% - 6.4% may indicate pre-diabetes and a range of 6.5% and higher may indicate diabetes. I think it is good plan to discuss this with your provider on Friday. Whether or not this played a part somehow may not be known, but I do think it's something to address so that you can maximize your chances of a healthy pregnancy.

And I am with you on the whole maca thing. I know that it's a super food and although does not have any hormone-mimicking properties, it can help to equilibrate your hormones. Since the MC, I start the morning off with a mug of hot lemon water (it's supposed to help balance the pH of the vagina and make it more sperm-friendly) and end the evening with a mug with one raspberry leaf tea bag and one red clover tea bag. These are supposed to help strengthen the uterine wall lining and encourage CM production.I add maca to smoothies. I've added extra zinc to my vitamin regimen along with my prenatal along with ubiquinol and L-arginine (supposedly good for helping egg health). Oh, and I was taking a Vitex elixir immediately post-MC to try to help my body regulate back to baseline. Just trying everything to help improve the odds of conceiving and having a healthy pregnancy!

Good luck, Celtic! Keep us posted! Here's to having our rainbow babies before 2015 ends! Hugs.

 

[CelticNiamh]

hope2bmother I think I need my A1C checked again, I am borderline diabetic so have a monitor which I use to check my blood sugars. I also develop Gestational diabetes and become insulin dependent very early on in pregnancy. I am going to also look in to zinc and Vitamin b complex, I think I will also get some raspberry leaf tea and drink it till OV it would not be recommended in pregnancy till 36 weeks if my memory serves me correctly.

I have found some information on Maca for anyone interested https://www.themacateam.com/maca-for-fertility and https://natural-fertility-info.com/maca

I think making a plan is helping me move forward stopping me from dwelling on what should of been. This MC seems so much more emotionally and physically harder, maybe it is because I am older and feel like my time is running out. or down to the fact I only lost my mum in September and she was the one who I go to she was there the last time I have questions I know she would have the answer to as she been there as well. I do feel very lucky for what I do have I am blessed with beautiful children.
I can only imagine how hard it is MC and TCC again and wanting your first baby

 

[wantingagirl]

I will post something tomorrow. At the moment I can only muster up the strength to read and not right too much. Sometimes I feel strong other times I feel completely dead. I feel like this is a bad dream xxxx

 

[hope2bmother]

Yes, an a1c would be a good thing to check as it will give you a picture of what your average daily blood sugar is running, though you probably already have some idea.

As for the raspberry leaf, I'm not sure about during pregnancy, though it seems most herbal teas advise to consult with your healthcare practitioner if pregnant! I just take it now while not pregnant in hopes that it will help later when I am pregnant. Having a plan and taking action on it has helped me immensely.

Thanks for the info on the maca.

And I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. I can't even imagine the heartbreak you must have suffered with both the loss of your little one and your mom. If there's a heaven, I'm sure that they are hanging out together, getting to know one another, and smiling down on you, Celtic.

By older, what do you mean? I know what you mean by feeling that time is running out, but I think that's just part of being a woman! Plus there's all that antiquated data that was collected from church birth records in rural France between 1670 and 1830 that are still used today to say that women starting at age 35 will have an extremely rough time with their fertility… It doesn't help our biological clocks! I'm 34 and know that this is old data, but it still makes me nervous!

You are blessed and I have a good feeling that you'll be blessed with your rainbow baby soon!

 

[hope2bmother]

I will post something tomorrow. At the moment I can only muster up the strength to read and not right too much. Sometimes I feel strong other times I feel completely dead. I feel like this is a bad dream xxxx

Many condolences on your loss, wantingagirl. The pain is indescribable. There will be good days and there will be bad days. Be gentle with yourself.

I am attaching a photo that I saw the other day in one of these forums. Maybe you've seen it before, but it touched me very deeply. Our little angels will live in our hearts and minds. Just because we never got to hold, express our love for them, and raise them doesn't make us any less of a mother. We will always be their mother and those little angels will ALWAYS be a part of the family even if with us in spirit instead of physically.

May you find some peace and may tomorrow be brighter. We are here for you.

 

[CelticNiamh]

hope2bmother thank you so much I am 40 in June

oh I think I now know why my cervix is strange, I kept thinking something might be stuck passing lots of clots again, felt a little pressure, just felt something strange come down and it looked like a placenta better out than in I guess quite shocked at the size as well. I hope bleeding does not become heavier now

 

[wantingagirl]

I will post something tomorrow. At the moment I can only muster up the strength to read and not right too much. Sometimes I feel strong other times I feel completely dead. I feel like this is a bad dream xxxx

Many condolences on your loss, wantingagirl. The pain is indescribable. There will be good days and there will be bad days. Be gentle with yourself.

I am attaching a photo that I saw the other day in one of these forums. Maybe you've seen it before, but it touched me very deeply. Our little angels will live in our hearts and minds. Just because we never got to hold, express our love for them, and raise them doesn't make us any less of a mother. We will always be their mother and those little angels will ALWAYS be a part of the family even if with us in spirit instead of physically.

May you find some peace and may tomorrow be brighter. We are here for you.

That just made me thank you that's beautiful I feel this one was a little boy and I can feel him all around me right now my beautiful angel watching over me with his other angel siblings xx

 

[wantingagirl]

hope2bmother thank you so much I am 40 in June

oh I think I now know why my cervix is strange, I kept thinking something might be stuck passing lots of clots again, felt a little pressure, just felt something strange come down and it looked like a placenta better out than in I guess quite shocked at the size as well. I hope bleeding does not become heavier now

I passed my placenta straight after the sac it was a fairly decent size xx

 

[hope2bmother]

hope2bmother thank you so much I am 40 in June

oh I think I now know why my cervix is strange, I kept thinking something might be stuck passing lots of clots again, felt a little pressure, just felt something strange come down and it looked like a placenta better out than in I guess quite shocked at the size as well. I hope bleeding does not become heavier now

Celtic,

40 is still young. Plenty of women have babies at 40… My aunt had her first at 40 and the baby was healthy! Then she had a miscarriage a few years later and then had a second healthy baby when she was around 43!And having done a rotation in OB-GYN, I saw plenty of "older" women giving birth! And the bright side is, even though you suffered an awful loss, you got pregnant not too long ago, so you're still supremely fertile! It's just that once we get pregnant and the cells of the embryo start rapidly dividing that we have no control over what happens (MC vs. healthy pregnancy) and this happens regardless of age.

As for your cervix being "strange", it is actually completely normal, if I had to guess. Trust me. I have felt mine at various times throughout my cycles, both out of curiosity, but also to gather data on my fertility! I know that at the end of my cycle, right before AF comes, my cervix is very easy to reach… as in, TMI WARNING, I can touch it with only half of my index finger inserted! And it's soft and open. Also, when I started spotting during my pregnancy, I am also guilty of checking my cervix daily for position. When I miscarried, it was quite low and open. I passed the sac (and saw my Little Bean in it) and about 20-30 minutes later passed the unmistakable placenta. It was so tragic and traumatic! Hope that helps and I hope that your bleeding stops soon! Sorry for all the TMI details.

 

[CelticNiamh]

wantingagirl on Sunday when it started I passed the sac first, then baby and I thought placenta as it was soo big guess it took a while for the rest wow this is just surreal I hope your ok

hope2bmother it does and thank you, I should remember my nana had her first at 36 and her last at 45 and she lived till she was 96

 

[wantingagirl]

hope2bmother thank you so much I am 40 in June

oh I think I now know why my cervix is strange, I kept thinking something might be stuck passing lots of clots again, felt a little pressure, just felt something strange come down and it looked like a placenta better out than in I guess quite shocked at the size as well. I hope bleeding does not become heavier now

Celtic,

40 is still young. Plenty of women have babies at 40… My aunt had her first at 40 and the baby was healthy! Then she had a miscarriage a few years later and then had a second healthy baby when she was around 43!And having done a rotation in OB-GYN, I saw plenty of "older" women giving birth! And the bright side is, even though you suffered an awful loss, you got pregnant not too long ago, so you're still supremely fertile! It's just that once we get pregnant and the cells of the embryo start rapidly dividing that we have no control over what happens (MC vs. healthy pregnancy) and this happens regardless of age.

As for your cervix being "strange", it is actually completely normal, if I had to guess. Trust me. I have felt mine at various times throughout my cycles, both out of curiosity, but also to gather data on my fertility! I know that at the end of my cycle, right before AF comes, my cervix is very easy to reach… as in, TMI WARNING, I can touch it with only half of my index finger inserted! And it's soft and open. Also, when I started spotting during my pregnancy, I am also guilty of checking my cervix daily for position. When I miscarried, it was quite low and open. I passed the sac (and saw my Little Bean in it) and about 20-30 minutes later passed the unmistakable placenta. It was so tragic and traumatic! Hope that helps and I hope that your bleeding stops soon! Sorry for all the TMI details.

That's exactly what happened to me

 

[hope2bmother]

I will post something tomorrow. At the moment I can only muster up the strength to read and not right too much. Sometimes I feel strong other times I feel completely dead. I feel like this is a bad dream xxxx

Many condolences on your loss, wantingagirl. The pain is indescribable. There will be good days and there will be bad days. Be gentle with yourself.

I am attaching a photo that I saw the other day in one of these forums. Maybe you've seen it before, but it touched me very deeply. Our little angels will live in our hearts and minds. Just because we never got to hold, express our love for them, and raise them doesn't make us any less of a mother. We will always be their mother and those little angels will ALWAYS be a part of the family even if with us in spirit instead of physically.

May you find some peace and may tomorrow be brighter. We are here for you.

That just made me thank you that's beautiful I feel this one was a little boy and I can feel him all around me right now my beautiful angel watching over me with his other angel siblings xx

Big, loving bear hugs! When I had my MC, I was able to hold a little funeral for Little Bean. My Mormon friend comforted me with saying that in their beliefs, some souls are just too good for this earth and that they come only briefly in order to obtain a body before parting for the heavens. She said that even though we never got to raise our babies on earth, one day we will all be together again and get a chance to raise our angel baby. Her words were so comforting and I hope they help you too. In the meantime, keep allowing yourself to feel the presence of your beautiful angel. I've shed a tear for your little one. I know he's there with you and that he loves you. You are one loving mama!

 

[sunshine2014]

Hi ladies. I'm here now too. Not sure how my cm will play out but I'm not feeling confident. I'm In limbo, no sign of cramps or bleeding yet. But with a previous MMC I'm a little hesitant to find comfort in that.

I can't imagine passing the baby, my heart breaks for you ladies. I plan on having a d&c. I've had one before and I felt comfortable with it. It's not easier, but I don't think I'm strong enough to attempt to mc naturally. We will see I guess.

 

[hope2bmother]

Hi ladies. I'm here now too. Not sure how my cm will play out but I'm not feeling confident. I'm In limbo, no sign of cramps or bleeding yet. But with a previous MMC I'm a little hesitant to find comfort in that.

I can't imagine passing the baby, my heart breaks for you ladies. I plan on having a d&c. I've had one before and I felt comfortable with it. It's not easier, but I don't think I'm strong enough to attempt to mc naturally. We will see I guess.

Sorry you are going through this, Sunshine! Wish I had some magical and comforting words for you, but I don't. As I have advised others, and I try to practice this with myself, be gentle with yourself. I won't welcome you to this group because it's an awful place to be, but the women on here are strong and fighters, so hopefully you can find some comfort with us. Sending you many hugs. We are here for you.

 

[CelticNiamh]

Hi Sunshine I still have hope for you but either way we are here for you x

 

[steph.]

Hi all can I join? Found out today I am waiting to miscarry ...for the 3rd time. I had a mc at 8 weeks before I had my girls, then a chem in november and now waiting to mc at 7 weeks. I am worried there is something wrong with me, but hoping it's just really bad luck. I have moments of feeling ok, then someone says something and I start crying and can't stop. I just hope this mc happens quickly and I can get on to ttc again.

 

[mummy2o]

Sunshine, I was bleeding and had clots with DD pregnancy and she was born fine. So unless you've had a scan and been told your miscarrying have faith. I had no symptoms with DS so even having no symptoms can be good. I really hope you don't end up here, but your more than welcome here.

Steph, I'm so sorry. I hope it happens quickly. I know how you feel. This was my 2nd one also and it was my fault this time, but it doesn't make it any easier. But we both have two beautiful children so we know we can carry to term, lets hold on to that and hope we get rainbows quickly.