First appointment at the fertility clinic - advice wanted from working women please!

[Millnsy]

Hello ladies (and gents if you are out there)

This is my first post so I'll give you a brief over view. Am 31 years old and have been TTC since last November 2006. Have a very understanding GP who started investigations after only 12 months so have had blood tests, hubbies sperm tests and initial scan. The good news is all looks normal so far but my cycle is anything from 28 to 40 days which is frustrating and often cruel as you the 2 week wait is more like 4 weeks and often dupes me into thinking we are finally there.

Any way, been prescribed Clomid today so actually now can't wait for Aunt flo so I can start taking it!

Question for you any working women out there, should I tell my work? I am a Manager in a recruitment firm which is notoriously unforgiving when it comes to time off, let alone for fertility treatment. So far I have had about 3 appointments and fobbed my (male) boss off with the gynae excuse. Looks like I'm going to need more time off for a scan on day 12 and blood tests after that. Its difficult to take random days off as holiday cos they always think you are going for interviews and I don't get much hols any way so why should I take leave? I think my boss would be understanding but I don't think he would take me seriously as a career woman any more and I can forget about promotion! What do you all think?

Thanks a lot....xx

 

[gemma24uk]

you should not be looked down on for promotions and things for wanting to be a mum, thats discrimination, i would tell your boss whats going on take the no secret approach and see what happens they might think it's odd for you to start taking time off if u dont say anything just go for it all the best xxx

 

[Millnsy]

Thanks. I think I'd almost decided that honesty is the best policy so am thanks for the encouragement

 

[chefamy1122]

I personally told my boss, just b/c she was going to have to take over a few of my duties if I had morning appts for bloodwork and ultrasound. I am lucky though b/c I have a very understanding boss....

 

[Loula]

I think it might be worth you contacting ACAS ( are you in UK??) for their advice - I think that you may be entitled to paid time off etc for this.

I am going to have to find out about for my hubby too when the time comes ( I am self employed so none of that rubbish for me! just no work = no pay booo!)

Just occurred to me that maybe you should put it in writing too, and keep copies then if anything of the discrimination type thing occurs, you have proof you told them and if action had to be taken etc etc...

 

[CareBear]

I told my boss pretty much was going on as I thought it would make things easier which it has. Under UK working time regulations you have to be allowed reasonable time off for appointments such as hospital and doctors, doesn't matter whats its for. How I do it is to try and get appointments before work or lunchtimes so that I won't be going too much into work time and they seem to appreciate this especially as it shows you're giving up some of your time to...give and take really!!! I had my first scan to check follicles this month and I was only in the appointment for about 10 minutes so it is pretty quick as well so you might be able to go before work or lunchtimes if you're not too far from the hospital.

 

[FJL]

I think you should tell your boss. And as someone said, record EVERYTHING, dates, times, conversations, appointments etc.

I told my boss but I had to as our fertility specialist is a 10 hour drive away (each way) and sometimes I need up to a week off. She was great, but she is very understanding.

 

[genkigemini]

I am a restaurant manager and all told all my managers what is going on so they understand why I am taking the time off. They have been really good about it and I think anyone with a freaking heart would be.

Good luck! *dust*

 

[maz]

I've been for numerous hospital appointments now and so far have been able to avoid telling my manager. I'm lucky though - I work for a large international company and my district manager is based in Scotland (I live in NI) so I rarely see him. Also, my job is quite flexible and I can control my own work appointments. Having said that, the day of my HSG I booked off as I thought I was going to be in agony - that didn't happen thankfully. And I've also been lucky enough to be able to organise most appointments for 8.15 am so it hasn't interfered with work yet.

Come the end of the year, when hopefully we'll be starting our IVF treatment, I'll definitely tell my manager, as I'll probably want to take a few days off just to relax and reduce stress levels if possible.

If you do decide to tell your manager, I'd definitely put it in writing and keep a copy - cover yourself should you find you need to refer back to it. Good luck hun.

xx

 

[Arcanegirl]

Ive been honest with my work and its paid off with alot of support. My appointments havent interfered with my work and im allowed paid time off for up to 5 days for my IUI

 

[Millnsy]

Thank you all for the messages. Told my boss yesterday and I feel relieved that I can be open with him about it. He'd pretty much worked something out anyway and I think he was just relieved that I wasn't going to interviews and handing my notice in!