first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[wifeybby]

Thanks, girls. Gina I should've known you'd cave with me lol It just sucks. Was having extreme bb/nip pain yesterday, lots of cramps.. I hope its not getting worse until AF. Just feeling so out and defeated. Then something in the back of my mind tells me to calm down and just stop testing until Saturday.

Had a very vivid BFP dream last night.. Was so sad to wake up and realize it was dream. So I got up, tested.. and BFN. Like, stark white BFN. No line eye, no maybe, no wondering, no feeling like something is there.. Just all white. I'm definitely not testing until Saturday. Now I'm at work and in a horrible mood and am being grumpy towards everyone and I hate it. Main reason why I caved was the dream, plus my symptoms were so strong yesterday.

Saturday is 14DPO so if still BFN then I'm done. There's no explanation for a BFN but I'll just have to keep trying.

 

[FertileFlower]

It will be a bit longer before I'm back.

My baby should be 8 weeks today, but died at 6w1d after being perfectly healthy with great HCG levels up until then. My body still thinks I'm pregnant. Missed miscarriage is the term.

Hope you ladies are doing better. Much love.

 

[gina236]

Oh no fertile!! I'm so so sorry take all the time you need hun. Sending healing thoughts and tons of hugs your way

 

[lesondemavie]

Oh fertile! My heart aches for you. Such a similar story to my own . I had zero spotting, and zero cramping. I had great line progression and pg symptoms on up to my 8 week scan...and then I saw those dreadful numbers as the us tech measured my baby...6+4. Missed miscarriage were the words written on my chart as well. It is confusing and crushing and devastating all at once. I still cry some days. I absolutely loved being pregnant, and already loved our gremlin so much. Moving back to TTC is a whole new minefield now. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions or if you just need someone who has been there to listen. It is sadly far more common than we'd like to think. You are not alone in this deep grief ❤️.

 

[kiki1234]

FertileFlower this breaks my heart. I am so sorry. I wish you the best over the next few weeks...

 

[wifeybby]

So very sorry, Fertile...

We are here if you need to talk, vent or anything. Wish I could bring you some comfort food and a movie. My heart just breaks for you right now..

 

[Jezika]

Fertile, I'm so, so sorry. I can only imagine what that's like and even thinking about it is devastating. I hope you have plenty of people around you for support, and of course there are plenty of ladies to lean on here too if you find that helpful. Thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs

 

[faye1019]

I am so sorry for your loss, Fertile. I can only imagine what you most be going through right now and I am so terribly sorry.

 

[Gagrlinpitt]

Fertile my heart goes out to you. My sister had three miscarriages before she did ivf with my nephews and it didn't get any easier any time. Please take care of yourself ABD know that we are here for support

 

[wifeybby]

Well, as noted - BFN this cycle. On CD2.. I have an appt tomorrow morning at 8:30 am (on a Sunday!? I'm impressed!) to do a CD3 appt; may include bloodwork and a baseline scan to see if I can do Clomid again this month. We'll probably do the TI again. Hoping we'll get there soon. The benefits to this cycle were 1. I know I respond well to 100mg Clomid, and O'd a healthy, large follie. 2. AF came on her own, which is great when you're as irregular as I am.

Cheers to a 2017 baby! Have to stay positive, as crummy as a failed medicated cycle is. If this next cycle works, it will be a new year, new baby kind of feeling to 2017. That's not so bad. And if cycle 2 doesn't work, and cycle 3 does, maybe we'll have our own little Valentine. (We got married on V-Day ) After cycle 3 I'll imagine we'll be on to "bigger and better" things.

Hope everyone is doing okay and having a good weekend. DH is helping me clean the house as we might hang out with some friends here tonight; then tomorrow is meal planning, grocery shopping and watching NASCAR.

 

[faye1019]

I SO admire your positive attitude, Wifey. And for those of us who are still learning all of the lingo, what is a TI?

Hope everyone had a nice weekend and is staying positive and hopeful!

 

[kiki1234]

Faye I think TI is something to do with the Trigger Injection.... I'm new to this also tho!

Quick update: I am currently 4 weeks 5 days. Feeling good still. I've still been tempting (I know I shouldn't!). They've all stayed nice and high, thank goodness. I've also been taking hpts every other day (again, I know I shouldn't!) Thank goodness that they've also been getting nice & dark. I am however still very nervous. I've been cramping off/on since I got my first positive hpt. I know this is very common, but still nervewracking.

DH & I have not told anyone yet.... I did schedule my appt with MD but they don't like to see pts until 8 weeks, so it will be mid-May... If everything turns out fine at that point then we will start telling people.

ON a side note: In regards to my pregnancy symptoms that I've had.... from about 7dpo on, I would notice that I was waking up sweating. I always sleep ice cold! I then noticed that I was warm t/o the day - when again, I am typically on the cold side.... Not a pregnancy symptom I expected and definitely not the one that I thought would make me want to test. My boobs hurt about the same amt as a normal AF until the day AF was due & then it got MUCH worse.

Sorry for the long spiel about me, but I guess I just didn't realize that we could actually "feel" the temperature shift that much.

FX for everyone on here!

 

[wifeybby]

Good morning ladies! Here goes another week of work and life. Hopefully the week will pass quickly!

TI is timed intercourse, as in doing it when your re/doctor says to when you do the trigger shot it releases the egg in 12-36 hours so they tell you for example, do it daily for 3 days, or today am/pm, tomorrow pm, next day am/pm. Generally I think rule of thumb is once a day to reload the tank haha! But it's just doctor ordered sex, if you will.

Good to hear all is going smooth so far Kiki. I wonder if all the progesterone made you hot? When I take progesterone I get some insane hot flashes; maybe your naturally high levels in early pregnancy did it too?

My next appt is weds May 4th at 8am, which of course interferes with work. Wish me luck telling my company I need to go. They've probably had it with me missing work for all these appts. And we have a big field trip that day, so they're going to be mad about getting a sub in there that day. Oh well, it is what it is and I refuse to put this on the back burner. We'll just have to figure something out.

 

[Velathria]

hey there ladies. yes i am still alive XD just been stalking mostly.

Wifey- Awww i'm so sorry that this cycle didn't work out.. I was so hoping it would. Hopefully its still your body getting used to all the clomid and everything and then it'll work this time or next time ^^ Got my fingers crossed for you

Kiki- hahah yeah i had that too in my pregnancy. didn't know at first that it was a symptom but i am usually an icicle so me being warm and hot was weird XD Sounds like your pregnancy is going normal. Try not to stress too much. I know being on here that it seems like Miscarriages are more common than we think but its not that common. So try to enjoy your pregnancy

Faye- Your chart is looking great ^^ looks like you ovulated hopefully you caught the egg

Gina- I saw your pics of the monster event on facebook you look happy and did you get to drink monster or did the test come out pos? Never saw an update

Fertile- If you are on this and see this. I am so sorry that it didn't work out for you I was so happy for you. Hopefully it will work out right away when you do decide to go back to ttc. But take your time and morn your baby properly.
Lots of hugs and kisses for you Wish you the best and a healthy baby in your future

And to who ever i haven't commented on. Sorry was so much to read so i seemed to have forgot half of it

Baby dust to all you ladies

AFM i had extreme ovulation cramps two days ago but i try not to think too much about it. Me and df have just been dtd whenever we feel like it. Besides that. It's been wonderful weather here and been spending most of our time outside or at a playground with the little one

Last night had sudden nausea and my DF actually says maybe you are pregnant
*har har har* very funny..

Anyway at the beginning of the cycle it was easy to not think about ttc and all of it but now midcycle its hard especially because i could feel ovulation coming. But trying to stay cool and relaxed about it

 

[gina236]

Vel that's how I was trying to ntnp. My body would give it away too easily for me to just ignore it. It was nice though. And I did drink a monster. Have one today too I slept like total shit so DH agreed to let me have one lol. The race was lots of fun and meeting my favorite rider was amazing! He's such a cutie and Australian so he's got such a nice accent :drool: lol. tests have faint lines but today will most likely be CD1. Bleeding a little more than spotting but it's still brown so I'm not calling it cd1 until it turns red. I'm just over everything. Done trying on my own, leaving it up to my doc now.

Wifey I know what you mean about getting time off. My doctor is only open when I work so I always have to take a half day and I know my supervisor was starting to get annoyed. I hope they don't give you a hard time.

 

[wifeybby]

Happy to hear from you, Vel! I miss you on here. I'm hoping this next cycle works. I mean, all I can do is look forward at this point it feels like. Going to do the same thing again with clomid, trigger shot, follicle scans and ti. FX! If this doesn't work, might investigate IUI next cycle; all depends on cost. When we were in yesterday morning I overheard someone paying $500 for a IUI, I don't think that's too bad. Now if it's $1,000-3,000, that's different. But hopefully we'll catch these follies this month and be done with TTC for the time being. Wishful thinking!

Enjoy that monster, Giner. At this point, enjoy whatever makes you happy. I feel the same, I'm done doing TTC on my own and am leaving it to the doctor. It feels better in way like that, and harder in a way like that, but in the end he knows what he's doing more than I do lol. We will have our babies someday soon I know it!

 

[faye1019]

Kiki- Glad everything is progressing nicely! And honestly, if it gives you piece of mind, I see no problem with the fact that you’re still temping and testing… especially until you go see the doctor. I could totally see myself doing the same thing!

Wifey- Thanks for the clarification. Once again, I just love your unrelenting positive attitude!

Vel- I can imagine that it’s very hard right now not to be charting and knowing exactly what’s going on with your body, but try to stick to your guns! Glad you are getting to enjoy some time with your family.

Gina- Glad you were able to enjoy your weekend, despite not getting your BFP. I so admire you for sharing your journey and I am so rooting for you. Hopefully you will start to get some answers (and some positive results) from your doctor soon. Channeling lots of positive and fertile vibes your way.

Think I finally may have ovulated this month. Still need two more days of high temps, but my OPKs (four days of high fertility readings and then a peak reading) aligned with my temps. However, my body is still producing almost NO CM which is discouraging. I have been reading about how BCP can lead to “cervical erosion” in some woman after they stop taking it. Obviously the more I read, the more nervous I get… I think I may try using evening primrose oil next cycle as I read it’s good for EWCM. Has anyone else had scant amounts of CM after BCP? Any insight from you wise ladies is always welcome!

Though my cycles seem to be getting more normal, I am keeping expectations very low. I know that it could be months before I see my Hoping now that my temps stay high to confirm O and my period comes in 10-16 days instead of way longer like I’ve been experiencing.

I am off work this week (spring break— I’m a teacher), so looking forward to getting stuff done around the house and taking good care of myself.

 

[kiki1234]

Faye: Thinking back to this cycle for me, I had hardly any CM t/o the entire cycle. I didn't actually start getting a significant amt of CM until I got my positive. Even while I ovulated - there was hardly nothing. Which is unusual. I usually have a good amt of CM - especially over ovulation & during TWW. So it was an odd cycle for me. It shows that every cycle can be different!

Thanks for the support with testing/tempting!... It's just my only way of staying sane right now

 

[faye1019]

I'm so glad to hear that Kiki! Did you use Preseed? I'm still hopeful that I'll produce more CM during my next cycle!

 

[kiki1234]

Faye: We didn't use anything!... Which was part of the reasons that I had little hope for this cycle. It was just an all around odd cycle that happened to work out. lol.

FX for you!