first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[gina236]

temp went down again, it's .01 above the coverline. Test is a little lighter. I started taking my progesterone cream but I think it's too late. I told my mom last night and she is excited but understands my worries. Thankfully I didn't get my hopes too much up. I am 5 weeks today, just basically waiting to start bleeding. I am holding onto a tiny bit of hope that the progesterone will work magic and make it stay but idk. Done testing for awhile. If AF doesn't show in a week I'll do another test.

 

[wifeybby]

Praying for you!

 

[gina236]

Thank you

My temp did go up a tiny bit today which makes me feel good that it's away from the coverline. I had a girl on another thread basically tell me I'm making up these lines, that all the tests are negative and I already got AF. So kinda in an off mood from that. People don't realize that there are nicer ways to give constructive criticism. Hopefully Wednesday when I have a day off and can make it to the doctor I will get some answers.

 

[wifeybby]

What! That's so rude. -insert middle finger here- I'm sorry to hear that. Lines are hard to capture in a photo I'm sure, but I saw it, and you know what you see in person. You know how you feel, your gut instinct is probably right. Don't let it get to you for another minute.

I lost my positive attitude this weekend. I had that SHG done Tuesday, had the worst cramps of my life that night but thought it was because I didn't take a painkiller as instructed.. Had minimal spotting Tues, weds, Thurs and friday; Thought that might be normal, the amount really didn't concern me. Then sat/sun/this am its gotten heavier to like a light AF only more bright red than I typically see. No pad/tampon needed but its there when I wipe. So I figure that's a bad sign, not normal. Waiting to call the office around 8-8:15am to see what the nurse there says. I have the consult appt tomorrow at 3:15. My predicted o date is tomorrow too, but I haven't been using my OPKs as planned due to the bleeding. And just really feeling down and getting so freaking scared for the consult. I just want DH and I to have our own family. Maybe I'm over dramatic but I feel so low and worthless. I might try an opk later on and tomorrow am, but guessing they'll be stark white as always. Ugh. Don't see how I can O with the bleeding going on, whatever the hell it is, and I've missed half of my supposed fertile window already because the bleeding. I'm so sick of it. I felt so great about this cycle and now I'm just a mess.

To top it off, I'm off for the holiday and told my Gma I'd be over to clean her house. I love her more than anyone in the world, but I know she's going to get on my nerves. I'm just not in the mood for this today.

Please have a better day than I am! lol

 

[gina236]

Awe sorry you are having a bad time. I'm not sure what exactly that procedure is so I don't know what normal is. But I would think you are right you wouldn't O while bleeding. But that could be a good thing. That would just push back o, not skip over it. I hope you start to feel better hun. And thank you for flipping her off for me

 

[wifeybby]

Thank you so much Gina. I've
been driving myself crazy all day thinking about all the possibilities. I'll flip her off any day for you lol

The RE nurse *just* called back and said its probably because of the Provera. (I took it 12/20 for 10 days, had a 7 day AF, then the procedure CD 11.) She said my lining was probably thicker before the Provera and maybe didn't shed all the lining, so the saline ultrasound would've helped to flush out that old lining still. She said its not a bad sign, she said its not a major concern. She also said BD probably triggered it more too. She said she's 99.9% the RE will do another transvaginal ultrasound to make sure its all ok. So why don't I feel any better?! I still feel like I know it's bad news.

The test I had was a saline transvaginal ultrasound. From what I read its normal to spot the night of the test but not for days after. They guide a cath through your cervix, fill the uterus with saline to look for abnormalities. I guess ill know tomorrow, its not going to help me to keep stressing over it. I really hope you're right and I still O, just later than expected. Please God, let you be right.

Are you getting your blood work results tomorrow?! How've you been feeling today? No bleeding for you, right?

 

[gina236]

I'm sure everything is okay. Like you said stressing won't help anything. I hope you get good news tomorrow.

I have kinda spotted every day but no bleeding. Just some brown on my liner. Idk when it's even happening because I check my cervix and there is nothing at all on my cervix or walls so idk lol. I won't be getting to a doctor until Wednesday. They wouldn't take me Saturday and they close by the time I am out of work. I have Wednesday off from work anyways so I will head to a planned parenthood near me and be seen. They don't require any sort of doctor notes or anything so won't have to worry about that. To see my GP I'd have to wait quite awhile for an appointment even with high priority. I've been quite uncomfortable today. I feel like I have hunger pains all the time but I'm not hungry. It's that feeling right before your stomach growls but it never actually growls lol. Hoping it's my uterus stretching.

I've actually been researching all day about ectopics. I'm so scared that is why I got such a light line so late. I am hoping the doctor will do an ultrasound to make sure that's not the case when I go Wednesday. Last thing I want is to end up in the ER with a ruptured tube for not getting it checked. I'm afraid to take any more tests but the longer i go without bleeding the more hopeful I become.

 

[wifeybby]

Thanks Gina today's the day. I'm sure ill be running to BnB to tell you the results! I'm so scared and nervous. Luckily work will keep me busy until then. Still bleeding here, but it has gone down. Was tempted to bd this morning but didn't want to trigger more bleeding, and negative opk anyway. So O day is definitely postponed, but hopefully not nonexistent. Hoping my ultrasound today shows signs of pending O. I really am sick of the IC opks, I'm serious considering going digital despite cost. What do you use?

I would demand an ultrasound in your case. You're absolutely right, the last thing you need is a ruptured tube. I'm so hopeful for you too, I really really hope this is it! Is there any other sign of ectopic, other than the faint/late bfp? Honestly don't know much about them, other than its a nightmare. GL at PP, I've always had good experiences there.

 

[gina236]

I hope it goes good today. I'm sure it will! FX!

I use IC ovulation strips and clearblue advanced digital. 1 box of them has lasted me 3 months. Not sure if I'll repurchase them as my ovulation is pretty regular but it is nice to see the digital read out.

As far as the ectopic I have been having what feel like ovulation cramps on the side I O'd from and that's what really made me worry. Lots of women have it and it's just a cyst and no big deal but with my late bfp it makes me worry. It's just an achey pain not real bad but I just want to make sure since it is very one sided. Hopefully I find out tomorrow.

Good luck at your appointment. I'll be thinking of you all day!

 

[wifeybby]

Long day here! Can't believe its going on 9 already.. Forgive my laziness, I had to copy and paste this because its so long and I'm on my phone lol

The consult I was totally freaked out about today went pretty ok. My RE is very objective and realistic. He told me I'm Vitamin D3 deficient, so gave me a weekly supplement for seven weeks. Diagonsed me with PCOS and Insulin Resistance, but made it clear he doesn't see any cysts, but all the other signs/symptoms are there. He gave me Metformin for that. He said he thinks i ovulate just not every cycle, which explains why most are 30-35 days, some have gone 60+, once 100+.. Also diagnosed me with hypothyroidism, treating it with Synthroid. He said DH's SA looks just fine, no concerns there. Ovarian function and reserve is great. So, he thinks the fallopian tube are suspect. Scheduled me for a laparoscopy Feb. 12th to check the tubes and remove/treat any abnormalities. Nervous though, even though its minimally invasive, it's still surgery. DH is going with me for that for sure. RE said he doesn't see anything wrong with the tubes in ultrasound but wants to be 110% sure. And as long as all goes well with the laparoscopy, we're onto a monitored Clomid cycle! He said he doesn't want to just go for the Clomid without the laparoscopy. Genetic testing for Downs Syndrome, Spinal Muscular Atrophy and Cystic Fibrosis all negative, so we're clear on that. So I'm really glad I did all that we did, I have some answers, solutions and plans. I wasn't told anything too depressing, or that there's no hope. RE sounds optimistic and I really think he'd tell me if anything more concerning was at bay. I know it doesn't sound like great news, but I feel so much better just knowing some things are in my favor.

Picking back up on the OPKs, and the post-sonohysterogram bleeding is decreasing. RE wasn't concerned with that at all either, said its pretty common for patients after a Provera induced cycle. So, a warning would've been nice but I'm glad it's normal.

As for you, tomorrow is my turn to wonder about your appointment! I hope you leave there feeling better and more positive! I think there's probably a lot of explanations for the pain, even more explanations for faint late BFP. Keep calm if you can, I will definitely be praying for you and thinking of you!! FX for good news!!

 

[gina236]

I'm so glad things went well at your appointment. Answers are always what you want. Sounds like your RE has a plan!

AFM I'm not bothering with going in. I took a test this morning and it's totally negative. I'm just waiting to miscarry at this point hoping it happens on its own. Stopped taking my progesterone cream and just basically giving up altogether. If things turn around, great, but I'm not counting on it. Something isn't right and I've known that from the beginning...

 

[Velathria]

Hey there.. so just thought to check how you two were doing

Wifey: I'm glad you got some answers. And it sounds like your RE atleast knows he can help and that it all sounds positive although that laparoscopy sounds horrible. Good luck with that

Gina: damn it!!! First of all screw all those rude B**** on those other forums. And I'm sorry it didn't work again... here i was hoping so much for you that it sticks. Maybe you should still get it checked out though just in case. Not that you might still need medical attention.

I'm wishing you two lots of luck and for you two.. life isn't fair.


AFM I ovulated yesterday. Was the brightest and strongest line I've had since I ttc'd and the ovulation pain is horrible and also on both sides. Feeling super nauseous from the pain. Hopefully that Means that this cycle is more promising.

 

[wifeybby]

I'm so sorry, Gina. Even with the negative hpt, I would still go in if you can. It's better to be safe than sorry, see if they can see anything with a ultrasound or get some labs drawn. And like you said, check for ectopic and make sure your tubes are okay. I'd rather not dismiss it and let it play out, in case something bigger is happening. I would want as much information as possible.. Can you get into a RE around you? I bet if they heard you out with your situation they'd see you. Getting to the bottom of the RPL is going to be your key to a H&H 9 months.. Maybe it's something they can fix with medications or treatments, maybe you're deficient in something. I know you want answers.. And I pray you get them! You will be an amazing mother someday soon, I know it. Feel free to vent as much as you need to, I'm totally here for you. Absolutely no judgement.

If you haven't seen these, they are good resources.

https://www.acog.org/~/media/For Patients/faq100.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2709325/

So much love and your way, beautiful.

 

[gina236]

Thanks ladies. Even if this was viable they wouldn't see anything yet so that's why I am not bothering. I don't have the money for them to just confirm what I already know. If it was ectopic and still growing my hcg would still be increasing slowly. And any pain i had before has left so i dont think thats the case really. So the only worry is if I don't miscarry naturally which they would tell me to wait and see anyways as I'm only 5+3. So I think I will call my GP today and get an appointment but not make it a rush or anything. I am still on my dad's insurance for another month and his company just got bought out and switched all their insurance policy numbers so it makes that really difficult as I'd have to pay out of pocket until we get the new numbers. PP requires payment right away so I'd rather talk to my GP where she will bill me lol.

 

[Velathria]

Yeah that does sound reasonable... sucks in america with the insurance... it's really hard to get a decent medical insurance isn't it?

 

[gina236]

Ya insurance is very expensive. You basically get stuck with whatever your company offers. Next month I'll be switching to my DH medical which is actually worse than my dad's but my dad wants to get rid of his family plan and it is now a law that you have to have insurance or you get fined so I don't have a choice.

 

[Velathria]

In germany it is that all insurance have to be the same and they pretty much cover everything plus dental and your employer pays for it. And if your unemployed then you get the same insurances from the state for you. It's no problem. And here in ireland it's pretty much the same. Makes it alot easier.

 

[gina236]

I wish it was like that here. It really should be.

 

[Velathria]

Most Americans don't want that I think. Cause that would mean higher taxes for the working people. Although through all that our support system is amazing and our health and other insurances are good including the retirement pay. Don't understand why they don't want that

 

[wifeybby]

Insurance in America is a joke.

Gina, I think you know your body well enough to know to make that call. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, I can only imagine how hard it is. I really hope your GP will figure out what to do, or refer you to someone who can. I know it seems hard to get into an RE, but really if you tell them your situation they'll decide if they want to take you on. I was really only TTC 6 months when I made the first appt., but given all the other details I told them they saw me within a week or two. I hate to see you going through this praying and thinking of you, sweetie!