first cycle actively trying (June 2015)

[gina236]

Well ladies looks like I won't be the next bfp.. temp plummeted today. More than my chart shows. I was up for awhile before I temped so I slept for another hour and used a temp adjuster to make myself feel a little better. Pretty upset and just feel like giving up. I've gotten faint positives and so many symptoms and now it's just going to be over. Going to make an appointment with a doctor soon. I can't keep going through this. I really thought this time was different

 

[Velathria]

I'm sorry gina... maybe the doctor can atleast help

Good luck gina let's hope next month is different.

 

[lesondemavie]

I'm so sorry Gina! I would tell you that you're not out until AF shows, but, while true, I know that for me that just made it harder when she did. So instead this...

You're such a beautiful, strong woman. I know you can pull through this. You will be a mother one day, and I hope that day is sooner rather than later for you. Have I shared this article here yet? It's a great reminder that just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it can't or won't. That sinking feeling that it just isn't going to happen is the worst...esp for those of us ttc#1. My SIL tried for a year or more before finally getting her BFP. She had gone in to the doctor and everything checked out ok. It must have been frustrating not knowing why, but they kept at it and now her little bean is past the 12 week mark and thriving. I hope that the doctor can help, but it is still possible you and DH are healthy and well.

If you all are interested, I really enjoyed The Imatient Women's Guide to Getting Pregnant. Chapter 7 is really great for the emotional aspect of everything. We all try to be so uplifting and optimistic on here, but the truth is each cycle that goes by is heartbreaking. The fear, worry, and anxiety can be (and still are) crushing at times. So much of this is just out of our hands. When you need to cry or take a break or scream on the top of your lungs from a mountaintop...when you feel like your hope is gone, know that the rest of us are hanging on to it for you in the meantime.

Big hugs for all and lots of your way!

 

[TrinityAlisha]

Sorry to hear that :-[

7 DPO:
Well I went to bed at 8PM last night-NEVER happens-and woke up with this crazy dream about having to sell my baby to a royal court felt really sick to my stomach and couldn't go back to sleep. I threw up bile around 3AM...I sure hope it wasn't just something I ate then again who throws up bile unless they're sick? I don't have any other symptoms of a stomach bug. Slept until noon, got up and ate just fine.

I don't know rather to be optimistic or not at this point.

 

[gina236]

Thank you for that message les. It means alot. You ladies are great. I did start to spot a little more and now it's red but not enough yet to consider it cd1. 95% sure this is the end again but still holding onto that 5% that says maybe it's just breakthrough bleed or something. I have never planned to be anything other than a mom so it's heartbreaking that this will be the 3rd or 4th loss in a year. Can't wait for my hubby to get home from his second job so I can just snuggle up with him and let it all out. If CD1 ends up being today or tomorrow I'll be calling my GP in the next few days. I need to know why my body is failing me

 

[RexMom2Be]

Aw gina... I'm so, so sorry. I hope a good doctor's appointment settles your worries. Cycle after cycle gets old, tiring, and emotionally draining. Do something nice for yourself with DH.

AF got me too. I was hopeful this cycle, had timing right and everything. "Felt" good about it, felt positive, let myself have some hope. And then AF hit a day early.

I've already ordered OPKs and pre-seed, and have started temping again. The relaxed approach didn't work for me, so I'm putting more effort into it.

 

[Velathria]

Gina you have our support. we know how you feel and one day your day will come when you will be a mother. For some it takes longer and for some shorter atleast you are fighting to have that baby and when it is here you will cherish it more then some other moms out there. Just don't give up hope i believe 2016 will be our year ladies it just has to be.

 

[Velathria]

@Trinity: I think your symptoms sound super promising I think nausea like that and vomiting isn't a common pms symptom to me.. think it's rare that women have that just from ovulation or anything let's hope there is a little bun in the oven that is making you feel that way

 

[gina236]

Rex sorry AF got you too it's good to have a plan of attack though

Thanks ladies. I am actually leaning towards thinking I have endometriosis. I used to think I did but never went to the doctor because they can't test for it. Basically a doctor just listens to your symptoms and says ya I think you have it. But i never had as bad of symptoms as i read about and the symptoms went away for awhile so I thought I guess I didn't have it but they are back now. My biggest symptom is extreme pain while going to the bathroom when on my period. Doesnt matter if its #1 or 2, it hurts either way and thats not normal. The only thing I can find that's linked to that is endo. I've heard diet can influence symptoms of endo and I have been eating terribly because for a month we had no oven. So lots of microwave meals and chips etc. So I am back to no dairy and trying to eat more veggies. Hoping the symptoms next month will be gone because they hurt so much. But that could be the reason I keep having chemicals. It's very common with endo. So as soon as I get the courage to call I'll make an appt with my doctor and make sure to ask about it.

How is everyone else doing? Where are you all in your cycles?

 

[Velathria]

AF ended yesterday so on the way to waiting for ovulation CD7 today. Thank god my period wasn't painful this time around

Taking maca root and Vitamin's and opks this cycle again... temping seemed to not work... probably my normal thermometer that I have.. don't know if it worse well with it.

 

[gina236]

To temp you gotta make sure you have a bbt thermometer. It should have 2 decimal places after the . The change in temp is so small that if it doesn't go out to decimal places you won't notice the change.

 

[Velathria]

Exactly and I can't find them anywhere here in ireland... apparently they don't sell them anywhere... when I ask they look at me like I have a second head. Lol

 

[gina236]

Haha I couldn't find them here either. Had to order one online from amazon.

 

[FertileFlower]

Les, thanks for asking! I've been hibernating for a while. I got really depressed when a/f started in Dec. I have been checking in here once in a while hoping for good news though, SO happy you are expecting and that things are progressing well.

I hope all of us ladies get your BFP this winter/spring.
Baby dust and miracles all around!

AFM, I'm cd12 today with two days to O. My cycle has been a clockwork 14/28 cycles last two months. I ovulate fine. My eggs are great. DH sperm is great.
Idk. Maybe I was someone really horrible in a past life.

We are trying less sex this month (once a day) and preseed. That's the only thing I can think of doing differently. I think we're pretty much nailing it each month with timing, diet, legs up, etc etc.

I told DH if we don't get a visit from a sticky one (or even a non sticky, just some sort of response) I give up. It just hurts too much. He asks to try during February too at least but not sure I can handle it.

Also, my opk's are usually negative until cd13 then positive for 2 days with me O'ing either first or second day. So today should be negative based on past 3 months. However, they have always been gradually getting darker the days leading up to. Now they are still super faint. I don't know what that means. I have the physical symptoms that my body is preparing to O. If I have a anovulatory month suddenly I'm not sure what I'll do.
Sorry, was hoping I would have more positive news to share by now.

 

[Velathria]

Fertileflower I'm so sorry... I don't know what's worse finding out that something is wrong at the doc or knowing nothing is wrong and it's still not working.

How long have you been trying now again fertile? Maybe you guys should take a breather for a few months. might clear up the air a bit. Habe you tried acupuncture? I've heard so many good things about that. I hope you will ovulate this month. Got my fingers crossed for you it will happen for all of us... it's just a matter of when.

Although hope is getting less and less by every AF...

But I'm telling myself that it will happen when the time is right

 

[gina236]

Fertile I'm so sorry your feeling so down. It's totally normal. And it's normal for it to take 6 months to a year with no fertility issues. Try just not making it priority. That's what I have done lately. Last month we dtd once during my fertile window just because we wanted to. And I did get pregnant. Try to just enjoy your DH and not think so much about when or how. Just relax and let nature take its course. It will happen when the time is right. I know easier said than done. I really hope you get your BFP this month so you don't even need to think about doing it another month. we are here when you need to vent. It doesn't have to be good news. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone who is going through what you are and we will be here for you.

 

[wifeybby]

Hey girls, I know I haven't posted on your thread in a long time but just wanted to say hi and let you know i'm stalking. I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been going through, Gina. I really hope you find some answers with your doctor or RE. Are you in the US? And I know this might sound crappy, which I totally don't mean for it to be -- but one positive aspect is that you know you CAN get a BFP. As insanely hard as i'm sure it is (I'm a BFP Virgin), I would definetly see that as a plus somehow.. It's hard enough to get the BFP, even harder to keep it.. You always sound like such a great girl, and I know motherhood will find you. When it does, you'll be amazing.

I found my BBT thermometer at WalMart, for about $8. Honestly, it looks exactly like the ones on EBay from HongKong for $2, but I had to have it right then and there lol

I've seen so many BFPs already this year on these boards. I LOVE IT! Cheers to staying positive and hoping to be the next!

 

[gina236]

Hey wifeybby! I am in the US. Thank you, I have had some other people say that to me but honestly I'd rather not get pregnant at all. At least for right now. It's normal for it to take up to a year so I wouldn't think something was wrong. It would be annoying but i would know its normal. At least that's what I think I'd feel. I can't know without experiencing it. But I just feel like my body is failing me. My mom has always said how we are a super fertile family so I didn't think I'd have any problems. But the longer it takes the more ready we will be so hopefully the universe is just trying to let me know it's not time yet. The longer it takes the more debt will be paid off and the farther along my business will be. And we will be in our second house by then at this point. So there are some positives for it taking awhile. Hope your doing good!

 

[wifeybby]

Either way, it completely sucks. I feel the same about my body is failing me. Dh and I have been together for 7 years now, and while we weren't TTC all that time my RE is concerned that there's been nothing - no cp, mc's, not even a "scare".. I feel like my body is doing NOTHING for me, other than cause problems of course... I have yet to even pinpoint ovulation.. I had Provera for 10 days, had a period a few days later and starting this cycle/year started BBT. Before this cycle they've all been long and I'm assuming annovulatory. I do feel good about this cycle, I'm hoping the progesterone will help to send some signals and be a normal cycle for once..

And you're right, there are benefits to the waiting. What kind of business are you starting?! That's awesome! We are trying to pay down debt/build up our credit to own a home rather than rent.

It's so hard to try to be patient and let God / fate take its course. Especially when you just don't understand it.

 

[gina236]

I hope you ovulate this month. That's gotta be the worst. If you don't ovulate you don't even stand a chance. I can understand how that would be hard. Hopefully the medication works. Usually it does!

I am starting a private label company. Basically buying things from China or if I can find a cheap supplier in the US, putting my own label on them and selling them for a profit. There is a lot to it but I am hoping that will allow me to be a SAHM like I have always planned. It is possible to make a million dollar income doing it if you are any good. I think that would be amazing but I'd be happy with my 30k a year that I make now working. Lol.

It's definitely a good idea to own instead of rent. I have always been against renting. It's throwing away money. I lived in an apartment for 3 months and will never do it again lol. Home ownership sucks sometimes but it's definitely worth it.

Hopefully everything works out this cycle and you will ovulate and get that bfp you are dreaming of!