Hi... I am definitely a newbie and I haven't learned all the acronyms yet. I guess I am not really comfortable using acronyms anyway. I also am not using any specialized tests yet, just observing my symptoms and waiting impatiently to find out if my period starts.
I was with my boyfriend on Monday, September 19th. It's a long story, but he is moving away and won't be around - we are not together. So I won't get to try again with him if this baby doesn't live.
I actually wasn't planning to do this. I was making love with this person who I didn't know very well yet, and he decided to just go in without a condom. I'm 42, I've had a crazy life, and I decided to just go with it - it's time. A lot of factors were behind this decision. So I allowed this to happen, and I was so excited about it. The first time was in August, and I got my period, so I met with him again and tried a second time. The timing was better, with regard to ovulation.
I felt some strange sensations. On the 21st, my own birthday, I woke up in the night feeling a sharp stabbing pain like I had ovulated. I had been reading about this and learned that it's best to get the semen before you ovulate so it's already there.
Later on that night, I woke up again with the strangest sensation I ever felt - I think it was the conception. I had this hormone flood and some frightening sensations that were almost overwhelming, like I was going to throw up, but I didn't throw up, and I had a sensation of my own tongue suckling as though I was a baby again. This is totally new and bizarre and I definitely never got that merely from ovulating before.
I also had a sensation of 'attachment' and love and bonding and I saw this fleeting mental image of bright hot pink hearts and flowers. I don't like pink, I don't like hearts, and I'm not a huge fan of flowers as gifts, although I love wild growing flowers, so again, very bizarre. 'Hearts and flowers' are totally not like me at all.
So for the past few days I'm noticing what seems to be more sensitivity to low blood sugar, and I read that the baby is going to be secreting insulin-like growth factor 2, which can indeed cause hypoglycemia. I was noticing the blood sugar sensitivity because I just got a job where I am working a lot of hours, and I try to eat as much as I can, but yesterday I didn't eat enough and felt like I was dizzy and going to pass out and vomit by the end of the day. Normally, I don't feel that dizzy, nowhere near that much, so this was unusual.
I also started having an adrenaline rush and fear and my heart was pounding, again, during the time when I was extremely hungry. I have been painfully, intensely hungry, more than ever. I am still eating only a moderate amount of food, but the sensation of hunger is more demanding.
So I decided to come to this forum and see the symptoms to expect. I don't think it's implanted yet. I didn't know that you might bleed when it attaches. So I am looking for that to happen in the next couple days.
If it fails, I won't be with that particular guy again. I didn't even know he was going to leave the area. He said he was moving away. It's someone I didn't know very well and was only just beginning to learn about, and I was only with him a couple of times. It wasn't the best relationship, but I wished I could have at least had him stay around. I hope that if I do get pregnant I can at least show him the baby and have him meet it and hold it.
But all of this is in the future - I am so impatiently waiting for the days to pass. I'm not doing temperatures, I'm not doing tests, I have no clue what's going on other than the strange bizarre symptoms, mental experiences, hormone flushes, and hypoglycemia. Now all I can do is read about what other people experience and what symptoms to look for.
I wasn't taking any birth control pills. I took them briefly in my early 20s, when my parents got me a prescription for them, and they made me go crazy and become angry and violent, and I'm glad I stopped taking them. I was also horribly constipated because the pills contained mineral iron. Nobody warned me that taking mineral iron in a pill would make me horribly constipated. I didn't figure that out until later on. That made me angry.
But in recent years, no pills. I stopped all caffeine, cold turkey, as soon as I had the incident with this guy and decided that I could become pregnant. So I am also caffeine free right now, and I was drinking gallons of the stuff, Starbucks espressos, that stuff in the cans, and doubleshots and those other ones that I forget the name of, and I also used caffeine pills. I wanted to stop all this for a very long time, and finally I had a strong enough incentive that I was able to stop cold turkey and suddenly. I haven't fallen off the wagon. I'm not eating chocolate or drinking tea, either.
Other than quitting the caffeine, I have little control over my diet and I am nowhere near eating the diet I want to be eating. Ideally I would have a Weston Price-inspired diet, but my life situation is chaotic (long story) and I can't do that right now. I'm just trying to make sure I get lots of organic foods and enough animal fats and I'm doing the best I can. So quitting the caffeine is the one and only thing I can do to protect the baby, and I can't do enough, and I feel like I'm probably going to lose it.
I haven't married and haven't fallen in love. It's hard for me to find people to love - for some reason I don't get along with many people in this town and am not attracted to them (socionics is one of the reasons - it's hard for me to find my socionic duals, but that's a whole other topic - google it if you're curious). The guy I was with was a foreigner.
So I won't be writing here very often but could potentially put a blog on this forum because I blog anyway and all my posts are very lengthy. But I will be back occasionally just to see what I can learn and share my observations. I believe in observing the strange symptoms and sensations and mental experiences, and I take them seriously, because I know myself and I know what's normal or not normal for me.
That's it for now, thanks for reading.
I was with my boyfriend on Monday, September 19th. It's a long story, but he is moving away and won't be around - we are not together. So I won't get to try again with him if this baby doesn't live.
I actually wasn't planning to do this. I was making love with this person who I didn't know very well yet, and he decided to just go in without a condom. I'm 42, I've had a crazy life, and I decided to just go with it - it's time. A lot of factors were behind this decision. So I allowed this to happen, and I was so excited about it. The first time was in August, and I got my period, so I met with him again and tried a second time. The timing was better, with regard to ovulation.
I felt some strange sensations. On the 21st, my own birthday, I woke up in the night feeling a sharp stabbing pain like I had ovulated. I had been reading about this and learned that it's best to get the semen before you ovulate so it's already there.
Later on that night, I woke up again with the strangest sensation I ever felt - I think it was the conception. I had this hormone flood and some frightening sensations that were almost overwhelming, like I was going to throw up, but I didn't throw up, and I had a sensation of my own tongue suckling as though I was a baby again. This is totally new and bizarre and I definitely never got that merely from ovulating before.
I also had a sensation of 'attachment' and love and bonding and I saw this fleeting mental image of bright hot pink hearts and flowers. I don't like pink, I don't like hearts, and I'm not a huge fan of flowers as gifts, although I love wild growing flowers, so again, very bizarre. 'Hearts and flowers' are totally not like me at all.
So for the past few days I'm noticing what seems to be more sensitivity to low blood sugar, and I read that the baby is going to be secreting insulin-like growth factor 2, which can indeed cause hypoglycemia. I was noticing the blood sugar sensitivity because I just got a job where I am working a lot of hours, and I try to eat as much as I can, but yesterday I didn't eat enough and felt like I was dizzy and going to pass out and vomit by the end of the day. Normally, I don't feel that dizzy, nowhere near that much, so this was unusual.
I also started having an adrenaline rush and fear and my heart was pounding, again, during the time when I was extremely hungry. I have been painfully, intensely hungry, more than ever. I am still eating only a moderate amount of food, but the sensation of hunger is more demanding.
So I decided to come to this forum and see the symptoms to expect. I don't think it's implanted yet. I didn't know that you might bleed when it attaches. So I am looking for that to happen in the next couple days.
If it fails, I won't be with that particular guy again. I didn't even know he was going to leave the area. He said he was moving away. It's someone I didn't know very well and was only just beginning to learn about, and I was only with him a couple of times. It wasn't the best relationship, but I wished I could have at least had him stay around. I hope that if I do get pregnant I can at least show him the baby and have him meet it and hold it.
But all of this is in the future - I am so impatiently waiting for the days to pass. I'm not doing temperatures, I'm not doing tests, I have no clue what's going on other than the strange bizarre symptoms, mental experiences, hormone flushes, and hypoglycemia. Now all I can do is read about what other people experience and what symptoms to look for.
I wasn't taking any birth control pills. I took them briefly in my early 20s, when my parents got me a prescription for them, and they made me go crazy and become angry and violent, and I'm glad I stopped taking them. I was also horribly constipated because the pills contained mineral iron. Nobody warned me that taking mineral iron in a pill would make me horribly constipated. I didn't figure that out until later on. That made me angry.
But in recent years, no pills. I stopped all caffeine, cold turkey, as soon as I had the incident with this guy and decided that I could become pregnant. So I am also caffeine free right now, and I was drinking gallons of the stuff, Starbucks espressos, that stuff in the cans, and doubleshots and those other ones that I forget the name of, and I also used caffeine pills. I wanted to stop all this for a very long time, and finally I had a strong enough incentive that I was able to stop cold turkey and suddenly. I haven't fallen off the wagon. I'm not eating chocolate or drinking tea, either.
Other than quitting the caffeine, I have little control over my diet and I am nowhere near eating the diet I want to be eating. Ideally I would have a Weston Price-inspired diet, but my life situation is chaotic (long story) and I can't do that right now. I'm just trying to make sure I get lots of organic foods and enough animal fats and I'm doing the best I can. So quitting the caffeine is the one and only thing I can do to protect the baby, and I can't do enough, and I feel like I'm probably going to lose it.
I haven't married and haven't fallen in love. It's hard for me to find people to love - for some reason I don't get along with many people in this town and am not attracted to them (socionics is one of the reasons - it's hard for me to find my socionic duals, but that's a whole other topic - google it if you're curious). The guy I was with was a foreigner.
So I won't be writing here very often but could potentially put a blog on this forum because I blog anyway and all my posts are very lengthy. But I will be back occasionally just to see what I can learn and share my observations. I believe in observing the strange symptoms and sensations and mental experiences, and I take them seriously, because I know myself and I know what's normal or not normal for me.
That's it for now, thanks for reading.
