First Time Mom's - Due March/April 2013

[doggylover]

Oh whoa what is with here babies growing up and using bouncers and jumparoos?!?! Where have our tiny babies gone?! My little lady still isn't quite there with supporting her own head, but a bumbo is next on our list. No need for us to buy jumper as my SIL has one to loan us (like everything Isabelle has!!) It's from 6 months.

Brittany I'm so sorry about dtd we avent even tried again since our failed attempt two weeks ago.
How did your cat get on?

Lindsey how did Sarah go last night after her good start to her sleep? All turn out ok?

Lauren fingers crossed for the people coming to see the flat tomorrow!!! I didn't know the scum are related to the people who own the flats, that isn't good :/

Afm, a short one tonight as I have literally had a small mental breakdown. I still have the cold and am just exhausted. Isabelle is continuing her leap action (at least I fucking hope it's leap related!!!! Pardon the language) of screaming at bedtime. Tonight I started sobbing and yelled out the window to Simon, who was working in the garden, that he had to come and sort her, while I sat in our nursing chair and cried for half an hour. She was SCREAMING, and crying so hard her eyes were all puffy. She finally settled, and half an hour later she started again, so he went up again to her.
I'm just finding this bed time stuff so hard at the minute. She isn't doing well, and I'm getting more exhausted every day because I still feel unwell. Not a great few days it's my birthday this week and I know I will just be exhausted and unable to enjoy anything that Simon does on it.
But at the same time, my sister offered to babysit last weekend so we could go out but I said no because I don't want to leave her again after the last disaster. I don't know what's wrong with me, I need and want a break, but can't bear (bare?) to leave her.

 

[linzylou]

Sarah, I'm so sorry about your night. Could Isabelle have gas, or be overtired/overstimulated? Sometimes Sarah cries like that at night when she hasn't napped very well and is super tired. I have to hold her really close and tight, with a pacifier in her mouth, and rock her until she calms down enough to either feed her or put her down.

I wish I had more to offer in the way of advice but our nights are still hit and miss as it is. I really do think it's related to a phase or mental leap or something of that nature, rather than something you are or are not doing, and it will pass! I know it's hard to feel that way in the middle of it. Can Simon try putting her down after you nurse her, so that you can get a break and maybe get a head start on your sleep? Sometimes Seth has more success than me when I'm all worked up because I think Sarah can sense that. I hope you're able to get some rest soon so that you feel better for your birthday!

Our night was better than expected. She woke up at 11:30 and I popped the paci into her mouth and she was out until 3. Ate and went back to sleep for another 2.5 hours. Today, she hasn't napped for shit and Seth is going out tonight so I'm on my own. Not feeling very optimistic but we'll see.

 

[I Love Lucy]

Thanks for posting that bouncer, Lindsey. I know DH was wanting a door bouncer at one point like what Lauren bought but the one he was thinking about is the one I read bad reviews on. I'll have to keep looking to see what route we want to go because I'm not sure yet.

Sarah, I'm sorry you have been having a rough time. I don't blame you for not wanting to leave Izzy after what happened last time. I don't like to leave Aiden either and have only been out one time by myself since he's been born. I just don't think anyone can take care of Aiden as good as me. When I left Aiden with DH I had it in my head that he was just going to leave him laying on his playmat by himself so DH could play video games the entire time so I wasn't really able to enjoy being out.

Also Aiden will scream a lot in the evening because he's overtired. He rarely goes to sleep for the evening before 8:30 but I have to start trying at 7:00 to get him to sleep. He refuses to take any naps once DH is home.

AFM, my kitty is doing well post-surgery. She is still a bit skittish but way better than last night when she was running into walls and stuff.

 

[MrsHippo]

Sarah, sorry to hear your not feeling so great I don't really have any advice on bedtime either. But what we do when Beau has had her last feed is wait 10 minutes (change her nappy and put swaddle on) then put her to bed. She has her sheep on and has a dummy. On a normal night we have to go in to her about 5 times to keep putting the dummy back in. But after then she is fast off. If I put her to bed straight after her feed she doesn't settle well. Also, that half an hour/hour before bed we try and keep quiet. Not too quite...but like turn the volume down on the tv and chill. If we over-stimulate her, she doesn't settle either.

As for you not feeling great, you need a break!! I didn't like leaving Beau, like Brittany said, you feel as though no one else can look after them better than yourself. Start with short intervals, like ask someone to babysit for an hour or two while you pop to the shop. When you get back and see that she is fine, you'll feel more confident leaving her. Or even try and get out as often as you can when Simon is home and leave her with him. Those little breaks really do wonders. My mum is having Beau all day for us on Friday and if I am honest, it hasn't even crossed my mind being away from her for that long. I know that if she had problems she'd let me know but I am sure she will be fine. She is going away with the caravan...well I say going away, its just up the road. But they brought a caravan a while ago and like to go out on it all the time. Just to get away from home.

I know it is normally me moaning but today I am soooooo excited I cannot wait until we are gone!! I am meeting my mum tomorrow and I need to try and find more boxes. IKEA used to have a big metal crate in their carpark where they'd put empty boxes and you could just go and pick them up as and when you needed them. They got rid of that and started selling boxes instead!!! I bet if I went around to their bins, I'd find hundreds. So fustrating. I am NOT buying boxes!! But Thursday I will be packing everything, taking the wardrobe down ect then on Friday at 9:45 we are going to sign the contract and collect the keys!! Woop I have a bottle of Champagne in the fridge and I am so opening it on Friday evening in celebration of our long awaited move!!

Oh and yes. What has happened to our little newborn babies!!!?? Beau is currently lying on her playmat screaming. Not screaming as in crying but screaming. Lol eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhh - really loud!! Its her new thing.

 

[Cathleen]

Hello Brittanyy,

Thx for nice welcome, I've already checked the first site : )
How do you get on with cloth diapers? I wanted to do the same, but somehow I didn't manage.

 

[Cathleen]

Lindsey,

I had similar problems with Lily, the moment she was put down she started moving her head around and waking up. I'd feed her again then and it usually helped. But I also noticed that her sleeping position has a huge impact - she sleeps in her tummy most of the time, only at night when I feed her I put her on one side and she falls asleep while feeding in tis position. My mother-in-law insisted that a baby shouldn't be placed on her tummy. When we visited her and she was carrying Lily until she fell asleep and put her on her back - L. woke up straight away And it was every time she put her on her back She slept on her back only in the pram and at the beginning, now shen we stroll and she starts shouting I know I have to put her on her tummy, because she wants to sleep - and in few seconds her eyes are closed. Have you tried different sleeing position for Sarah?

I envy the sounds Sarah is making!

Lauren I'm 29, live in Poland, used to be a workoholic working 12 hours a day When I got pregnant I slowed down working 10 now I am a full-time mother I was supposed to go back to work in September but now I have doubts about it - I wanted to go back for a few hours a day, but still it seems so much!
And the time flies, so Friday will be sooner than you expect And a bottle of champagne mmmm...
Sarah So sorry about Isabelle's crying period. It may be related to wonder week, so it should pass very quickly. I know how you feel about leaving I. with sb else, but it might be a good thing actually - you'll "reset" and a new person might be really great for Isabelle. I saw that when Lily had a rough period - and my mother-in-law was visitng us then, she settled very quickly with her, I don't know why - a change of routine, someone else holding her? I agree with Lauren - try to get out even for an hour, then it'll get better

 

[doggylover]

Thanks for the support ladies I feel so much better today as I slept well last night. I think everything (being sick, being tired and then the screaming) just all got too much for me.

I definitely need to start leaving Isabelle, but before we do that we need to start getting her to take a bottle more regularly. But doing that, I feel so useless beause I am the only one who feeds her, it makes me feel so needed! How pathetic am I!?!?!

Brittany I also feel that nobody can take care of Izzy as well as I can. Then I feel awful for thinking that about Simon, and in fact all my family, as I know they are all more than capable - probably BETTER than me!!!

Lauren only a few days to go! I got excited then and thought you were going on a shopping trip to Ikea - I love it there!! It's great that Beau gets a chance to be with your mum, and I'm sure your mum loves it! Won't be so much of a break for you on Friday though as I'm sure you'll be crazy busy all day.

Afm a grumpy day. All she wanted to do again was suck (not even eat!) and sleep. Good news is she went down perfectly tonight. I let her suck herself into oblivion (although I do every night!) and then spent ages patting her back before I put her down. She was semi-awake, but dozed off very quickly. Hasn't woken yet and it's almost been an hour so fingers crossed!

Question: in another thread someone mentioned they are going to wean LO next month (so at 4 months). Have any of you ladies thought about weaning? I'm hoping to do baby-led weaning (I've yet to tell Simon this!) and would really hope not to start before 6 months.

 

[Cathleen]

Sarah, don't even think that anyone might actually be better at taking care of Isabelle than you!
I had a hard day as well, Lily wanted to be fed every 40 min (and she did that for 5 min), so I had problems doing the chores... Maybe that's the weather? She also had problems falling asleep, finally she fell asleep while eating...

As for weaning, I'm not going to do that in. When L. is 6 moths I'll start giving her solids and wait until she refuses to drink my milk. Hopefully, I'll feed her as long as I can, I believe that if you can breastfeed, you should do that as long as the baby wants it.

 

[MrsHippo]

Sarah, I had a letter come through from my HV about a week ago titled ''you may have thought about weaning, come to our weaning class'' - they aren't the exact words but was something along those lines but I personally won't be attempting it until around the 6 month mark, possibly late 5 month. Will see how it goes.

Glad you feel better today and yes, defo try the bottles more. You using a bottle won't make you any less mumsy, when you get in to the swing of it you will be passing the job to Simon lol. You will have to play the role of 'cow' though with all the milking you'll have to do Don't get me wrong, I love doing stuff for Beau but once in a while I like to be the one just chilling on the sofa watching telly while Adam feeds her. Makes me feel as though he is doing more.

I like IKEA too but when I was young I spent a lot of time in there. We lived about 10 minute walk away...it was a regular hanging ground for us teens
I can't wait to buy lots of new stuff for my house but unfortunately it will have to wait as we are skint!!

Cathleen, I have doubts about going back to work too. But will have to go back for a few weeks at least otherwise, I'll be paying back my maternity leave. What do you do for work? Have you always lived in Poland?

 

[Cathleen]

Lauren,
Why would you have to pay back your maternity leave if you didn't get back to work? In Poland you can always go on a parental leave - yoo are not paid then, but you have the health insurance. I'm wondering if such options are available in UK, but the idea of returning maternity leave money is absurd.
I'm a teacher, so it'd be possible to work for 2/3 days a week but I don't know who would take care of Lily then... Nursery is an absolute no-no (a good one costs more or less what I earn)
I've lived in Poland for my whole life, I'm Polish

 

[MrsHippo]

Durrr silly question to ask isn't it haha. I guess you could have moved to Poland at some point...

Paying back maternity leave is just something my company do. I guess its to stop women taking maternity pay then handing in their notices at the end. It wouldn't be all the pay, but a good chunk of it!! But we will see, if the new manager is still in the same position when I go back then I will definitely be leaving. She is a bitch!! If its someone else, then I might consider staying. Depends on what hours I'd have to work.

So I met my mum today and she has brought Beau some clothes which are really cute!! I can't be bothered to take photos and upload them so I will post the links instead

https://www.next.co.uk/g50104s4

Well I would....but the sleepsuits aren't online!!! I'll take photos later and upload them tonight - if I remember!!

 

[Cathleen]

Lauren, not a stupid question, it proves you have a good command of lateral thinking I loved those lateral quizes btw

It seems strange that a company has the right to take, even some part, of maternity pay! I was complaining that in my country the law is anti-family, but now I have to reconsider that. In general there is a law that after maternity leave you have the right to have "bringing up" leave which can take up to 3 years if I'm not mistaken. Of course it's not paid, but you kind of still work in your workplace, the country is paying health insurance. Of course, after this leave the company has the right to sack you...
And the good thing is that if you declare that you want to work part-time after maternity leave your employer has to agree and s/he can't fire you. You can have this part-time agreement for 3 yrs I guess.

The dress is great! I adore Next clothes for children, they are so beautiful and good quality as well.

 

[doggylover]

cathleen sounds to me like the rules in Poland about maternity and family leave from work are pretty great! As Lauren mentioned, most employers here require you to return to work for a period (with my job it's 13 weeks) or you have to pay some money back. I can request part time but it doesn't mean I'll get it.

lauren we only got ikea here a few years ago so it's still a big novelty!

Had a very quiet day today, did almost nothing. Isabelle was awake from 2pm until 6.30pm with just a 15 minute nap in the middle so she was grumpy all evening because of that. But she just wouldn't go to sleep this afternoon! I tried to feed her to sleep several times as that almost always works...but she fought it every time. She's just gone to bed, and was all quiet for 15 mins, and now Simon is up with her as she's shouting. But she sounds so tired, so I'm hoping it doesn't last long!

It's my birthday tomorrow (27...) so Simon is off, but don't know what we're doing. I feel like I won't be able to really enjoy myself though as I've been so tired and run down the last 2 weeks.
I got some cheques from his family for my birthday though which is nice, so have to work out what I want to spend those on!

 

[MrsHippo]

Awww I'm sure you'll have a lovely day Sarah and spend the money on something for yourself!!

Beau has started fighting sleep which is slightly annoying. She had a full on screaming fit in Costa earlier which was embarrasing. Had to take her outside and walk around until she fell asleep. So annoyed with this old couple though. Looking at me like I needed to 'control' my daughter. I felt like saying something!! End of the day, she is s little baby. I'd understand people being annoyed if she was a lot older. But a baby??!! You can't stop them from crying can you!! Grrr

 

[Cathleen]

Happy birthday Sarah
Hope you'll have a lot of fun and will manage to relax
Poor Isabelle, hope today it's better

Lauren, I'd be furious with this couple, Beau is so small, it's not like she's a kid throwing a tantrum, so I just don;t get it. I hate situations like that - oh and I also hate it when ppl know what my baby wants/needs/feels like. I don't understand total strangers who have the guts to tell me (not give advice, just tell) what I should do. Do you have the same or is it just Polish speciality? Once on a bus Lily started screaming - there was a crowd, she got scared and I coulnd;t take her in my arms. As I was leaving the bus two older ladies said to each other (but loud enough for me to hear) : oh, what a poor baby, it' so hot today, so it must be thirsty, it needs water etc. I exclusively breastfeed, Lily was just annoyed and sleepy, but of course they know better and made me feel like a lousy mother...
asf I had a very nice day today - my husband finished work earlier so we went to the park in the afternoon and lay on the blanket on the grass with Lily there It was great, especially that we didn;t take the pram, just a sling. I need to use it more often

 

[MrsHippo]

Sarah how was your birthday?

Moving went ok yesterday, Adam's aunty let us down which I'm really annoyed about. She agreed to help us, so thought great! But yesterday morning we rang her and she didn't pick up.... And we still haven't heard from her now!! How rude can you get?? If she didn't want to help, all she had to do was say. So me and Adam did it all by ourselves. It literally took us all day to move everything over. Today all I've done is clean (the house is so dirty!!! I'm actually pissed off that the landlord didn't clean it!). He re-carpeted and its all been decorated but I am having to clean it all before I put my stuff away. I started cleaning the kitchen at 10ish, popped to the shops for half an hour to pick up a load of cleaning products, carried on cleaning when I got back. I had finally finished the kitchen (this is only cupboards - inside and out) around 4:30. That's just how dirty they were!! The rest of the house isn't as bad so hopefully I'll get that all gone tomorrow morning.

Cleaning aside, I'm sooo happy we are here!!

On another note, my hayfever is so bad at the moment. I wake up during the night and first thing in the morning all stuffed up like I have a cold. My throat is killing from all the sneezing!! I think I'm going to have to go to the doctors to get something. Over the counter tablet ect are too expensive.

I hope everyone is ok? xx

 

[linzylou]

Sarah, I hope you're feeling better and were able to enjoy your birthday!

Lauren, congrats on the new place! Sorry about your hayfever and all the cleaning you've had to do, but it must feel so nice to be away from your old neighbors! I've gotten a few annoyed looks while out with the baby and it makes me so mad. We were out of town recently and had breakfast at this crappy, hole-in-the-wall diner. Sarah was fussy and refusing her pacifier. These two men next to us kept giving us dirty looks because apparently we were interrupting their business meeting or whatever. Who has a business meeting in a crappy diner, anyway? We hurried up and got out of there but I felt so self-conscious and irritated.

As for me, it's 110+ degrees here so we haven't been doing much. I go over to my mom's a few times a week to hang out with my sister but that's about it as I try to avoid putting Sarah in a hot car. Seth's been working 7 days a week (we recently bought a retail property and he's been working on that in addition to his normal job) and the other young mom that I've been hanging out with is back at work now so I'm feeling a little lonely these days. I can't wait until it cools down and we can get out some more.

Sarah's still waking 3-5 times a night. She has a good night (as in, only waking up 1-2x) a few times a week but that's about it. I'm really hoping this is the four month sleep regression people talk about because I really don't want to think that this is just the way she is and that I'm doomed to 3+ night wakings for who knows how long (and I hate hearing about toddlers that still wake up every night). I'm not expecting Sarah to STTN by any means but we had a good thing going for a few weeks (5-7 hour stretches, waking twice to eat) but as soon as she hit 14 weeks our nights went to hell. The only good thing is that she wakes up happy (wish I could say the same!) and that she's still really easy going most of the time.

I'm on another baby site and a lot of moms are starting to post about sleep regression. At least my baby never STTN so it's not as traumatic as going from 12 hours of sleep to waking every 2-3 hours like some moms. I do laugh at the ones that complain about having to get up once, though. I guess I'm just jealous!

 

[doggylover]

Lindsey I definitely feel your pain about sleep. Things are getting worse with us eg last two nights Isabelle went to bed earlier at 8pm and fell straight to sleep which was great as that was that issue solved! Then she was up at 11pm (when I went to bed anyway), 1, 3 and 6am. She is up at least 3 times a night, and then fussing in the morning too. I'm getting used to the lack of sleep again, but it sucks. And like Sarah, she had been doing the 5/6/7 hr stretches (I remember boasting she hadnt done anything less than 5hrs at one point!) so yeah, I feel your pain.
I can't believe how hot it is with you!!! Does it make Sarah cranky? It's only around 75 degrees here atm but that's a heat wave for us and both Isabelle and I are super cranky!!!
Sorry you are feeling lonely atm, but I totally understand not wanting to take Sarah out in that heat. Sometimes, even if I see people a lot, I still feel kind of lonely as I feel like nobody gets what I am going through, apart from my SIL. We've been hanging out a lot lately, and since my nephew is only 2 and she is pregnant again she totally gets it. I dread when she goes back to work after the summer tbh.

Lauren so excited you are finally out of your old place and in the new house!!! Sorry it was left in such a pigsty though, what is with that? I hate that people do that - when we bought our house they left it FILTHY. Can't believe Adams aunt totally ignored your calls, that's so out of order!!!
How is Beau enjoying the heat?

Afm I had a great birthday. I was cranky in the morning (as I am every morning now due to my interrupted sleep!) but we went out with my SIL, dad and nephew for the day so it was really lovely. Simon got me a necklace with Isabelle's fingerprint on it (from notonthehighstreet- I know Lauren and Hayley are fans!) which was lovely.
Other than that just been poddling about, spending lots of time with my family and doing a whole load of nothing! As I mentioned above to Lindsey, Isabelle is waking up 3/4 times a night, and seems to be getting worse. Se started about 2 weeks ago waking at 2, moved slowly to 1, then 12 and now 11-11.30. I'm worried though that because I feed her every time she wakes I am just perpetuating the waking. But when I do feed her she takes a proper big feed like she's always done, and it all stays down, so that makes me think she really is hungry. I dunno, it's a tough one.

Lastly, I'm sure you remember me saying how shitty my 'friends' have been lately with not making any effort with izzy and I at all. Well the final straw with one of them has come - she didn't text, Facebook or get in contact in any way to say happy birthday. I've known her for 13 years so I know she didn't forget my birthday or anything (plus because its July 4th it's a memorable date!) so she just...didnt bother. Even if she had forgotten and sent a text the next day would have been fine but NOTHING.
I didn't get any cards etc from the others either. So I have had enough. Unless they contact me, I'm not getting in contact with them again. Sounds harsh, and maybe a little childish, but I am sick of doing all the running and, tbh, we don't have that much in common anymore anyway. Even the girl who has just had the baby. We have very different ideas about what having a baby means I think.

Anyhoo, that's all with me!

 

[nuttynicnak]

Hi All,

I still read in here and see how everyone is doing, but never really get chance to post.

Seems like Charlotte is fitting in with all your gorgeous LOs which is great for me. She is teething at the minute and has gone back to being fussy in bed with sleeping and crying for no particular reason and difficult to settle with nothing I can do to soothe her. She's also recognising people and if someone new holds her then she will cry and want to go back to someone she does know. Sounds just like Isabelle, it might be her teeth too?

Bought her an amber anklet tonight to see if it will help.

Can't believe you were brave enough to move with a tiny baby and how rude of his aunty. That would have infuriated me more than anything. Like you said, she only had to say she couldn't help previously.

Hoping to do some more crochet tonight, but knackered!

 

[MrsHippo]

So nice to hear from you Nicola

Sarah, I am totally with you on the shitty friends. I am so angry with my ''closest'' friend. She has made 0 effort which infuriates me. I have given up chasing them. If they don't care, then I don't care. What is with them?? It is such a shame we don't all live close to each other - we could have met up then at least we all knmow we are here for one another.

Beau has been a little cranky in the heat. Its been 28 degrees celsuis today (not sure what that is in fahrenheit?) but its been very warm!! Lovely, wish I could have spent the day sunbathing instead, I've been doing housework lol. I've had Beau in the nude pretty much all day though, I hate to think she is overheated. Tried giving her a bit of water but she doesn't like it. So just sticking to regular feeds, I haven't made them as warm as I would usually.

Adam is away all week () but means I can get on with sorting this place out. I also have a roofer coming tomorrow then again on Wednesday. I can start on the garden too, we have a bigish garden which I know will take a lot of looking after. Coming from an apartment means we have no garden tools whatsoever so I will have to go out and buy them. The garden has no colour either apart from some purple flowers in one patch and some cream coloured roses. The rest is just green. I love colour so I defo need to go and buy some pretty flowers Got to be careful with money though, if we don't rent our apartment out soon then we'll be paying the mortgage on that still. Have a viewing tomorrow and the apartment looks so different empty....hopefully this person will want it!!

Oh talking of the apartment, not sure if I have already mentioned this. But in the whole building there are three sections. In our section there are 6 apartments, well, 4 of them are up for rent!! Everyone is moving out!!! Spoke to the neighbour who lives on the same level as the scumbags and he was telling us how fed up he is of them and is actually returning to his mums just to get out. How sad is that?? Soooo glad we aren't there anymore. But I really hope they still get moved on, or things improve as I'll be stuffed if we can't get a tenant in. I can only pay a mortgage and rent for so long.

OMG what is with flies and moths!!!??? I have never had a problem with them before moving here. I have to have my windows open to let in fresh air, but means I have a never ending swarm of flying insects intrude!! I brought a spray to kill them yesterday, feel bad doing it.... but I don't have any other choice. I hate the thought of them flying around Beau. Oh and I read about moths - ewww. They lay their eggs on your clothes and then the larvae (which are like tiny maggots) live in your clothes and gradually eat away at them. That has totally freaked me out so I have soaked cotton wool balls in lavender and popped them in all the wardrobes and stuff. The thought of maggot type things living on my clothes and in my bed ect really makes my skin crawl!!! I NEED to get rid of them!! Lavender plug-in air fresheners here I come!!