First time Pregnancy and Confused, is a paternity test the only answer?

[cynram31]

I made a mistake and slept with a guy who we share mutual friends with on July 13th, I have been on and off with my ex of two years, and we slept together July 23rd. I am now pregnant at 6 weeks as of 08/17/2016. My last period was the on July 5th - 8th. I have no idea what to do or what it takes to do a paternity test. I feel so confused, my family is so excited for my first baby, and I am as well but this situation is something I can not stop thinking about.

I know both men will take full responsibility, but I would feel forever guilty if one takes the responsibility and its not his, especially with the past and love I still have for my ex. I am really hoping its his. My doctor told me you ovulate 2 weeks after your period which would of fallen on or around the 23rd of July. Can anyone confirm this to be true? Although I should take the doctors word I feel like more reassurance would seriously make me feel better.

 

[Tropiclands]

That is accurate, assuming you slept with both guys on the dates you specified. Not that I'm calling you a liar.

 

[Isme]

If the first day of your last period was on July 5th, then you would have conceived at at odd (though not impossible) time for both of them. You are "supposed" to ovulate about 14 days after the *first* day of your menstrual cycle-- when you stopped bleeding doesn't matter. Are your cycles normally very regular? According to your dates, you would have ovulated on/around the 19th. It's very unlikely that you would get pregnant from sex 4 days after you ovulate (the egg only lasts for about 24 hours MAX) so that would have me leaning toward the guy who is not your ex. However, things don't always run like clockwork, and it's possible that you ovulated a few days late... So that would put your ex in the running as being more likely to be the father.

Is there any way you can get an early scan? That should give you a firmer idea of how far along you are. Knowing exactly how old the baby is might help, but I would still plan on getting a DNA test done at some point in the future. There are private companies that will run them for you. I think they're usually a couple hundred bucks.

 

[Scout]

The only way to know for sure is a paternity test. Textbook is a 28 day cycle with ovulation occurring on day 14 (14 days from the 1st day of your period), but women don't always have a 28 day cycle, nor do they always ovulate at 14 days past the start of their period. When I was tracking ovulation, I noticed I typically ovulated on day 12. Other women ovulate later in their cycle.

You may be able to narrow it down better once you have a dating scan, but that too can be off. At 12 weeks, my daughter was measuring ahead and I knew when I conceived bc I only had sex once the month I got pregnant.

Good luck and hope it turns out the way you want.

 

[2ducks]

Sorry to say this but the old wives tale that "women ovulate on day 14" is a myth, its hard to believe that some doctors are still using that as gospel. Some women will ovulate earlier, some on day 14 and some much later. I think you are going to have to wait this one out for a paternity test.

 

[noon_child]

Did you use any kind of contraception with either partner?

 

[MyFavSurprise]

Unfortunately the dates run very close, I also had this trouble with my first son (but there were 3 ) I had a paternity test done with my ex through an online company that was cheaper than going through a legal paternity test, and if you wont be using it in court than it doesnt need to be a legal test, it's just as accurate. But I did have to wait until after he was born, though you could order the test and have it ready to use as soon as your lo is born to speed things up for you.

I know how stressful it is and these things happen, I'm so happy for you that your family is excited and the men are supportive, it was just my son and I for the first 3 years before I met my now husband. The truth is, once your baby is born the most important thing will be that this is YOUR amazing and beautiful baby.. congrats

 

[Mrs_carpets]

Honestly I think it could be your ex's but you won't know 100% until you do a test when the baby is born.
I take it none of the men know about each other's possibility? Tough situation but I wish the best Hun xxxxxx

Hope you get the answer and result you want xxxxx

 

[Jessicahide]

Hello, congratulations on your lovely baby xxxx

The only way to really know is a dna test, i know it's stressful but try not to fret, just be honest with everyone and hopefully you will be supported by one or both until everyone knows the truth....

 

[MyFavSurprise]

When is the first time you took a pregnancy test? Did you have any spotting midcycle that may have been ovulation spotting? Looking more at your dates I think chances are good that your LO is your ex's baby, but with dates that close it is hard to say..

 

[DannaD]

Sounds like it could be either. You either ovulated a bit early or a bit late if you set the average at 14 days after the first day of your period. Sperm can live for some days in you, waiting for the egg... but the egg doesn't last for much more than 24 hours.

 

[floridamomma]

Unfortunately cycles aren't an exact science. My husband and I had sec 7 days before ovulation and still got pregnant so it can happen. If say tell them both the situation because you truly won't know until the baby is born.

 

[cynram31]

Thank you ladies so much for taking the time and responding to me! Although this is a stressful situation for me, at the end of the day God blessed me with a baby and I am beyond happy. Luckily both men are great people with great qualities so my baby will be just fine, I just dont want to lead any of them on because of how great they are. I feel like telling them both this situation will make them upset and leave me all alone the 9 months of my pregnancy. Im so confused. 😢

 

[cynram31]

No i didnt! Huge mistake.

 

[noon_child]

No i didnt! Huge mistake.

Don't beat yourself up about it. I only ask because it might make a difference to how likely conception was with either one.

 

[Jessicahide]

Thank you ladies so much for taking the time and responding to me! Although this is a stressful situation for me, at the end of the day God blessed me with a baby and I am beyond happy. Luckily both men are great people with great qualities so my baby will be just fine, I just dont want to lead any of them on because of how great they are. I feel like telling them both this situation will make them upset and leave me all alone the 9 months of my pregnancy. Im so confused. 😢

That might well happen, but you can't tell them both they are the father and break one's heart... Honesty is the best policy here. Or its going to cause massive trouble and heartache after and they might both sod off anyway xxx Please tell everyone so no grans and granddads get their hopes up and no dads lose a child x

 

[Isme]

Thank you ladies so much for taking the time and responding to me! Although this is a stressful situation for me, at the end of the day God blessed me with a baby and I am beyond happy. Luckily both men are great people with great qualities so my baby will be just fine, I just dont want to lead any of them on because of how great they are. I feel like telling them both this situation will make them upset and leave me all alone the 9 months of my pregnancy. Im so confused. 😢

That might well happen, but you can't tell them both they are the father and break one's heart... Honesty is the best policy here. Or its going to cause massive trouble and heartache after and they might both sod off anyway xxx Please tell everyone so no grans and granddads get their hopes up and no dads lose a child x

I agree. I would honestly plan to go the 9 months alone anyway, unless you're in an actual relationship with one of the guys (regardless of who the father is). I know it's a tough situation, but I wouldn't expect anyone to get invested and provide support for the pregnancy of a child that may or may not be his. I would just be honest and tell them that you would like whomever the father is to be involved once the baby arrives and has been tested. I'm not sure what you were hoping for from them during your pregnancy, but it is often hard enough for men to bond and connect with babies in the womb even when they know the child is theirs. I would keep each of them as involved and/or updated as *they want to be throughout-- with them having a full understanding of how it could go either way once the child arrives.

This isn't easy for anyone involved, and I'm sorry you're stressing over it. I would just be honest with everyone and take each day as it comes. You don't owe either man anything anyway. No need to feel bad or embarrassed. They both made the choice to have unprotected sex with you outside of the boundaries of a stable relationship. Just explain things plainly and let them process. Things will all work out in the end. Best of luck to you!

 

[Jessicahide]

Thank you ladies so much for taking the time and responding to me! Although this is a stressful situation for me, at the end of the day God blessed me with a baby and I am beyond happy. Luckily both men are great people with great qualities so my baby will be just fine, I just dont want to lead any of them on because of how great they are. I feel like telling them both this situation will make them upset and leave me all alone the 9 months of my pregnancy. Im so confused. 😢

That might well happen, but you can't tell them both they are the father and break one's heart... Honesty is the best policy here. Or its going to cause massive trouble and heartache after and they might both sod off anyway xxx Please tell everyone so no grans and granddads get their hopes up and no dads lose a child x

I agree. I would honestly plan to go the 9 months alone anyway, unless you're in an actual relationship with one of the guys (regardless of who the father is). I know it's a tough situation, but I wouldn't expect anyone to get invested and provide support for the pregnancy of a child that may or may not be his. I would just be honest and tell them that you would like whomever the father is to be involved once the baby arrives and has been tested. I'm not sure what you were hoping for from them during your pregnancy, but it is often hard enough for men to bond and connect with babies in the womb even when they know the child is theirs. I would keep each of them as involved and/or updated as *they want to be throughout-- with them having a full understanding of how it could go either way once the child arrives.

This isn't easy for anyone involved, and I'm sorry you're stressing over it. I would just be honest with everyone and take each day as it comes. You don't owe either man anything anyway. No need to feel bad or embarrassed. They both made the choice to have unprotected sex with you outside of the boundaries of a stable relationship. Just explain things plainly and let them process. Things will all work out in the end. Best of luck to you!

100% agree, she may get lucky and be given support by one or both guys but that would make them really special people, and you can't expect everyone to be remarkable. xx

 

[Ellivort]

Ovulation isn't always clockwork, would be nice tho! Based on my current gestation i ovulated on Day 9 of my cycle, which was just 2 days after my period ended, which is really early!

To be 100% you'd have to have a paternity test unless your cycles were very regular.

A paternity test i just s simple swab after birth, but is a little more complicated in utero.

I made a mistake and slept with a guy who we share mutual friends with on July 13th, I have been on and off with my ex of two years, and we slept together July 23rd. I am now pregnant at 6 weeks as of 08/17/2016. My last period was the on July 5th - 8th. I have no idea what to do or what it takes to do a paternity test. I feel so confused, my family is so excited for my first baby, and I am as well but this situation is something I can not stop thinking about.

I know both men will take full responsibility, but I would feel forever guilty if one takes the responsibility and its not his, especially with the past and love I still have for my ex. I am really hoping its his. My doctor told me you ovulate 2 weeks after your period which would of fallen on or around the 23rd of July. Can anyone confirm this to be true? Although I should take the doctors word I feel like more reassurance would seriously make me feel better.