five year old missing!!

[porkypig]

I leave everyone to carry on with this discussion as clearly I'm in the 'wrong' for thinking a 5 year old should be indoors at 7pm on an darkening school night and should not be left unsupervised.

 

[xprincessx]

If that happened to your baby and someone said to you it was all your fault I bet you would think a little differently!

 

[indy and lara]

I have wondered previously about how dark it was at the time April was out playing. I am a lot further North so we are darker a lot earlier and was never sure.

Personally I cannot fathom letting a child out to play at 5 years old at that time of night on a school night. While you cannot remove risk of harm completely I do believe in trying to minimise it as much as possible while allowing children the opportunity to be children. For me, 5 is too little to be out playing on a school night after 6pm at night.

 

[porkypig]

Ok, let me re-phrase you can and should watch them 24/7 when theres any slither of a chance that they could run off or be snatched. I don't know about anyone but I don't leave my doors open so any tom, dick and Harry can wander in.

But there is a slither of a chance no matter what unless you are with your child holding their hand twenty-four hours a day seven days a week.

When I was younger my older brother and sister use to go out to play, my parents would leave the door on the latch meaning they could just run in and out, now if someone had come in and taken me would that of been my parents creating an oppourtunity?

And what age do we not let them go out until? I mean most of the children I remember being abducted were around nine or ten (Sarah Payne, Holly Wells, Jessica Chapman), do we not let our ten year olds out either because that would be an oppurtunity? What about the child who was snatched walking to school on her own about twelve or thirteen, should they not of been allowed to? Yes they are older children and so probably considered okay to be left alone or play out, but unless we stay with our children every minute of every day for eighteen years, then we cant be 100% sure it wont be ours.

I agree with you, but in this sick world we live in, we just can't think it won't ever happen, and at 5 years old, they don't yet have they emotional intelligence or the fear in them to think that person will do me harm, this is where us as parents need to protect them as much as we can, especially at that age.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

No one would wish this on anyone. I don't think it's worth getting angry at each other.

ETA: I've said this before, child abduction rates are no higher than they were 50 years ago. The media just tends to cover them a lot because it is "interesting" news

 

[porkypig]

I have wondered previously about how dark it was at the time April was out playing. I am a lot further North so we are darker a lot earlier and was never sure.

Personally I cannot fathom letting a child out to play at 5 years old at that time of night on a school night. While you cannot remove risk of harm completely I do believe in trying to minimise it as much as possible while allowing children the opportunity to be children. For me, 5 is too little to be out playing on a school night after 6pm at night.

Hallelujah, someone who is on my wave length.

 

[porkypig]

If that happened to your baby and someone said to you it was all your fault I bet you would think a little differently!

I would agree with them

 

[Tasha]

I agree with you, but in this sick world we live in, we just can't think it won't ever happen, and at 5 years old, they don't yet have they emotional intelligence or the fear in them to think that person will do me harm, this is where us as parents need to protect them as much as we can, especially at that age.

The thing with that though is it would make sense if this were a stranger, as a ten year old would know not to go with a stranger whereas a five year old might not (incidently ALL my children have known stranger danger well before five) but in a case like this it wouldnt of matter if she was five, six, ten, twelve, if it was indeed Mark because she would of gone with him any way. He was a family friend, her half-sister uncles, a man that she had day trips to the beach with. Why would she not get in a car of a man that she trusted if he said something like your mum told me to get you?

 

[porkypig]

I agree with you, but in this sick world we live in, we just can't think it won't ever happen, and at 5 years old, they don't yet have they emotional intelligence or the fear in them to think that person will do me harm, this is where us as parents need to protect them as much as we can, especially at that age.

The thing with that though is it would make sense if this were a stranger, as a ten year old would know not to go with a stranger whereas a five year old might not (incidently ALL my children have known stranger danger well before five) but in a case like this it wouldnt of matter if she was five, six, ten, twelve, if it was indeed Mark because she would of gone with him any way. He was a family friend, her half-sister uncles, a man that she had day trips to the beach with. Why would she not get in a car of a man that she trusted if he said something like your mum told me to get you?

She wouldn't hesitate at all, why should she? She's innocent and she trusts him, but again, if her parents had been there, it wouldn't have happened.

Kids that age trust anyone, whether they know them or not, lure them in someway, and they won't think anything of it

 

[Tasha]

I have wondered previously about how dark it was at the time April was out playing. I am a lot further North so we are darker a lot earlier and was never sure.

Personally I cannot fathom letting a child out to play at 5 years old at that time of night on a school night. While you cannot remove risk of harm completely I do believe in trying to minimise it as much as possible while allowing children the opportunity to be children. For me, 5 is too little to be out playing on a school night after 6pm at night.

Hallelujah, someone who is on my wave length.

I think most of us have said we wouldnt let our five year old at all, so I think most of us are on the same wave length with that but it seems very callous to be saying they gave him the oppurtunity and it seemed blaming them. When again he is the one to blame, not them.

 

[Tasha]

She wouldn't hesitate at all, why should she? She's innocent and she trusts him, but again, if her parents had been there, it wouldn't have happened.

My point was that you talked about her not having the emotional intelligence at her age, but if she was ten she still would of got in the car with him, if she twelve, thirteen, again she still would of. Do we go out to play with our ten, eleven, twelve year olds? Because they would make the exact same choice April did with a man they trust.

 

[Jem_x3]

I leave everyone to carry on with this discussion as clearly I'm in the 'wrong' for thinking a 5 year old should be indoors at 7pm on an darkening school night and should not be left unsupervised.

Noone is saying you're wrong for your opinion, we are all entitled to one. The difference is, is most people have articulated it in a way as not to offend everyone on the thread. Most of us agree with what's been said but the way you have put across your argument is defensive and reads quite rudely to be honest with you. Of course you can read things out of context, but I think you should have been more considerate considering the sensitive nature of the thread and how we have been feeling about what's happened.

 

[porkypig]

She wouldn't hesitate at all, why should she? She's innocent and she trusts him, but again, if her parents had been there, it wouldn't have happened.

My point was that you talked about her not having the emotional intelligence at her age, but if she was ten she still would of got in the car with him, if she twelve, thirteen, again she still would of. Do we go out to play with our ten, eleven, twelve year olds? Because they would make the exact same choice April did with a man they trust.

To be honest I wouldn't let my kids just hang about on the streets at any age, but that's just me, I'd rather their friends come to us, or they go to their friends houses.

 

[chell5544]

I have wondered previously about how dark it was at the time April was out playing. I am a lot further North so we are darker a lot earlier and was never sure.

Personally I cannot fathom letting a child out to play at 5 years old at that time of night on a school night. While you cannot remove risk of harm completely I do believe in trying to minimise it as much as possible while allowing children the opportunity to be children. For me, 5 is too little to be out playing on a school night after 6pm at night.

Hallelujah, someone who is on my wave length.

So your saying a child is safer playing out before 6?

If this man wanted to snatch april he would of done it no matter what the time
Or if he just wanted a child he would of taken anyone of those kids playing outside be they 5,6,7,8,9 etc

I wouldn't let my 5,6,7 or 8 yr old out to play because we don't live in a very nice area however if I lived where I grew up I prob would

Just because I wouldn't do it it doesn give me or anyone else the right to question why Aprils parents did

 

[porkypig]

I leave everyone to carry on with this discussion as clearly I'm in the 'wrong' for thinking a 5 year old should be indoors at 7pm on an darkening school night and should not be left unsupervised.

Noone is saying you're wrong for your opinion, we are all entitled to one. The difference is, is most people have articulated it in a way as not to offend everyone on the thread. Most of us agree with what's been said but the way you have put across your argument is defensive and reads quite rudely to be honest with you. Of course you can read things out of context, but I think you should have been more considerate considering the sensitive nature of the thread and how we have been feeling about what's happened.

Yes we're all entitled to an opinion and I'm not about to apologise for saying what I feel, maybe it hasn't been articulated in a more subtle way, but hell, I'm not condoning what that animal has done. I don't see why people have to pussy foot around things all the time. That ******* should be hung, drawn and quartered, but I still think a 5 year old should not be left unsupervised, I don't care what anyone says.

 

[amandad192]

I grew up in a quiet little cul-de-sac and all the kids [me my sisters, neighbours 4 kids] used to play out almost everyday after school. there was a little girl who lived opposite and when she was about 5 her mum started letting her play in her front garden and talk to us, eventually she let her come up to the grass and play, she knew she was not to head down to the bottom of the cul-de-sac and must answer straight away when her mum called her and must go home straight away if we all go indoors. She was a smart little girl and I see no problem with her having been allowed to play with us.

So, no, I don't think April's mum was wrong to allow her to play out with the other local kids. I wouldn't allow my kids to play out where I live now, because we're on a busy road, but living where I lived before I would have considered it.

 

[Jem_x3]

I leave everyone to carry on with this discussion as clearly I'm in the 'wrong' for thinking a 5 year old should be indoors at 7pm on an darkening school night and should not be left unsupervised.

Noone is saying you're wrong for your opinion, we are all entitled to one. The difference is, is most people have articulated it in a way as not to offend everyone on the thread. Most of us agree with what's been said but the way you have put across your argument is defensive and reads quite rudely to be honest with you. Of course you can read things out of context, but I think you should have been more considerate considering the sensitive nature of the thread and how we have been feeling about what's happened.

Yes we're all entitled to an opinion and I'm not about to apologise for saying what I feel, maybe it hasn't been articulated in a more subtle way, but hell, I'm not condoning what that animal has done. I don't see why people have to pussy foot around things all the time. That ******* should be hung, drawn and quartered, but I still think a 5 year old should not be left unsupervised, I don't care what anyone says.

You agree we're all entitled to an opinion yet, again, you're being rude by saying "I don't care what anyone says". Ok, that's fine, but you've now been going on about it for 3 pages of the thread and offending several people along the way. It is entirely unnecessary. This is a discussion thread, not a place to play judge

 

[Wobbles]

For all those that have an opinion on the time she was playing outside have any of you lived in the Mach? Curious...

It wasn't the normal for her to be out at 7 ...that has been made clear but how dark it was doesn't seem to have any relevance on why she was taken. The man stood accused KNOWS Mach is felt one of the safest villages in the UK (it has won awards for just that), knows the child and her parents. It wasn't the norm for April to be out but they did think she was safe for that extra few minutes. Can't help but think April was targeted.

Either way have some sympathy... I can't imagine how much Mum and Dad are punishing themselves, they don't need the public thinking it's their right to have a say and question their parenting. I bet most would have something completely different to say if it was someone close to them. If you can't have sympathy have some respect.

Not sure about anyone else but I do not live thinking bad things won't happen to me. Just wonder what position you would want to be in if it did. Could you innocently make the biggest mistake of your life?

I said this on my Facebook, it caused a little debate but I stand by my thinking:
Why is it when sad news hits parents go into the mode of how they would have done it differently. Not one of us know what will happen to us and our families in the future.

I know if my family should ever be a tragic situation the last place I would get any empathy from is other parents more like picked apart until the fingers pointed at me.

 

[xprincessx]

Hoorah some sense has been spoken!

 

[admiral765]

No one can possibly comment on the situation because not one of us knows what really happened. How do you know the children weren't supervised. In the paper locals were quoted as saying that the children always played out and the neighbours all watched out for them. Because Mark was known to them, maybe they turned a blind eye if someone was watching.
Whilst we all could say what we would and wouldn't do, it's wrong to judge especially when all the facts are unclear. I also feel its completely unnecessary to comment on this aspect and feel that in doing so is insensitive to the situation and the poor poor family that have to live with what's happened for the rest of their lives. If anyone is to blame, it is the person that took her IMO and I will always stand by that xx