FOB is a pedophile. I feel so gross.

[etcetera]

oh wow...it's amazing how everyone has such strong feelings about this...

I think that if you feel that he is a danger to your daughter, then do whatever you have to do. None of us know all the details of what is going on, but I trust your judgement

 

[daniellelk]

A woman would be just as wrong as a man in doing what he did. In the end, who cares whether you think its classed as rape, statuory rape, peadophilia. The fact is, there is a 25 year old man who thinks its perfectly ok to chat up underage girls and sleep with them. Its not as if he just has a thing for younger girls, he is purposely choosing vulnerable UNDERAGE girls. Whether you believe its right or wrong, i think this man needs serious help, and whether he biologically is the father or not, i know i wouldn't feel safe having a man near my daughter who has a thing for young girls. In the end it doesn't matter if the girl agreed to it or not, if that girl was vulnerable and was naive then she's not the one in the wrong, he is. Anyway, i think this thread needs closing, its getting out of hand.

I'm not saying weather I feel it's right/wrong.

I know plenty of girls who have had sex 14/15 with 18+ and i'm sure you do too. Hell my mate who was 15 slept with the 30+ year old and it was reported to the police (by a school friend of hers) yes it was illegal, but it was cleared by the police in the end, he's not being classed as a Peado or on any sex offenders list or anything.
vulnerable or not a 15 year old knows what they are getting them self's into when there sleeping with someone much older then them.

Im not judging the OP, i'd just like to say, I never even judged my friend! In fact if anything I stood by her while the rest slagged her off, she was mature enough at 15 to make her own choice.

 

[lily123]

Actually, in the eyes of the law he is a statuory rapist because Ally was a minor at the time. x

In the eyes of Ally, she was more than happy to sleep with him. Statutory rape isn't rape in the way that we know it, it's just legal jargon.

be that as it may... it's still Illegal no matter what they call it.

She agreed happily... it's morally abhorrent to change your mind and decide to press charges further down the line.

That was when she didn't know he had been doing it to other girls before and after her...
But i'm not in here to argue with anyone, all i'm doing is stating that it's ILLEGAL and in England it's called Statutory Rape. Morally wrong or right, he comitted a crime. The whole reason Ally posted in the first place was because she felt so bad about it, and she knows she was in the wrong by sleeping with him, so there is no reason for this thread to turn angry.

There's plenty reason when there's talk of ruining a man's life and taking his child away and raising them without a father over "Ally feeling bad". It's not right.

Sleeping with other underage girls still isn't paedophilia, unless they were prepubescent. I can't stress that enough. Plenty of things are illegal... I drank underage, should I be punished? It was up to Ally to consent when she knew it was illegal and she did and is only now unhappy because he's slept with other girls who were the same age as her. Well, let's assume they were all like Ally... happy to consent? It's up to them to come forward if that's not the case as Ally herself was fine.

I don't think i've even mentioned the word 'Paedophilia'... i'm certainly not saying he is a paedophile, i'm saying that what went on between them is called STATUTORY RAPE, wether you agree with the naming of it or not, it's still a crime!

I haven't given you my personal opinion on this, all i've stated is the Law.

This thread is getting absolutely ridiculous.

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

Actually, in the eyes of the law he is a statuory rapist because Ally was a minor at the time. x

In the eyes of Ally, she was more than happy to sleep with him. Statutory rape isn't rape in the way that we know it, it's just legal jargon.

be that as it may... it's still Illegal no matter what they call it.

She agreed happily... it's morally abhorrent to change your mind and decide to press charges further down the line.

That was when she didn't know he had been doing it to other girls before and after her...
But i'm not in here to argue with anyone, all i'm doing is stating that it's ILLEGAL and in England it's called Statutory Rape. Morally wrong or right, he comitted a crime. The whole reason Ally posted in the first place was because she felt so bad about it, and she knows she was in the wrong by sleeping with him, so there is no reason for this thread to turn angry.

There's plenty reason when there's talk of ruining a man's life and taking his child away and raising them without a father over "Ally feeling bad". It's not right.

Sleeping with other underage girls still isn't paedophilia, unless they were prepubescent. I can't stress that enough. Plenty of things are illegal... I drank underage, should I be punished? It was up to Ally to consent when she knew it was illegal and she did and is only now unhappy because he's slept with other girls who were the same age as her. Well, let's assume they were all like Ally... happy to consent? It's up to them to come forward if that's not the case as Ally herself was fine.

I don't think i've even mentioned the word 'Paedophilia'... i'm certainly not saying he is a paedophile, i'm saying that what went on between them is called STATUTORY RAPE, wether you agree with the naming of it or not, it's still a crime!

I haven't given you my personal opinion on this, all i've stated is the Law.

This thread is getting absolutely ridiculous.

So is underage drinking, even though I loved it at the time... will I go and sue the bars who served me?

 

[shocker]

So you think that since the age of consent a boy of 17 who sleeps with a consenting 15 year old girl should be punished and have his life ruined? The statutory rape laws protect young girls but theres no fairness in it

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

Maybe the OP should just get advice in her own state because everyone on BnB clearly can't help her! Infact I'm not quite sure what advice she is looking for from us?

Anyway its probably best if we all leave it and she gets advice from a professional and discuss it with them

 

[~RedLily~]

Maybe the OP should just get advice in her own state because everyone on BnB clearly can't help her! Infact I'm not quite sure what advice she is looking for?

Anyway its probably best if we all leave it and she gets advice from a professional and discuss it with them

i agree i think getting legal advice is the best idea. that way you know exactly where you stand. i think discussing it on here you will just get everyones opinions which will be more confusing and wont actually get you any nearer to knowing what the right path to take would be.

 

[lily123]

Oh my goodness... I give up.
I originally posted to give OP my support because it must be extremely hard for her.
I have not said my opinion on statutory rape, i have NOT stated that i think it's right, or wrong, all i did was say what the law clearly states and holds as a crime, a technicality.

So please, don't turn this into an argument.

 

[aliss]

UK law about this topic really has nothing to do with the OP, it's about as applicable as Iraqi or Mexican law. The OP needs to stick to the facts about New Jersey state law and seek the advice of a NJ family attorney ~ no matter what any of our own personal opinions are on the subject.

 

[andreeuhxoxo]

The OP is totally RIGHT! I think the OP is totally justified in her act to diminish legal rights.. especially since he didn't want her to have the baby in the first place. I think it'd be very strong and brave of her to do so.

And It doesn't matter if she consented or not.. because she was not of age to consent! That's why there IS an age of consent.. anyone under that age isn't compentent enough to make that decision -- to understand the physical and mental consequences of having sex (well not all minors, some are more mature than others). The laws presume coercion, because a minor is legally incapable of giving consent to the act. That's why it's illegal! I'm 21 and I could never see myself with a 15-year-old.. because I know its WRONG. A 24-year-old should know the difference between right and wrong.. a 15-year-old wouldn't. That's whats messed up about this. Especially since he lied about his age, used different names, didn't say the age difference in public .. all those facts point to him knowing it was wrong AND illegal.

If I had a 15-year-old daughter OR son I wouldn't want them sleeping with a 24-year-old! Heck no.

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

At 15, I knew what was right and wrong and I was more than capable of making a decision like this. The law presumes to speak for everyone and not everyone is the same.

Furthermore, the type of man/partner he is has nothing to do with the type of father he will be. Nor does the fact that he didn't want the baby at first. The reality of having a child and the idea are two different things, many men who wanted nothing to do with babies have changed their minds... it's not your right to punish them as you have no right to play god in your child's life. You can guide them, but they should decide for themselves if they want their father in their lives.

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

At 15, I knew what was right and wrong and I was more than capable of making a decision like this. The law presumes to speak for everyone and not everyone is the same.

Furthermore, the type of man/partner he is has nothing to do with the type of father he will be. Nor does the fact that he didn't want the baby at first. The reality of having a child and the idea are two different things, many men who wanted nothing to do with babies have changed their minds... it's not your right to punish them as you have no right to play god in your child's life. You can guide them, but they should decide for themselves if they want their father in their lives.

Thats the point I made earlier about my OH. He didnt want his child at first because he was scared to become a dad.....now he's not allowed to see her it kills him and upsets him more than you could ever imagine! Alot of blokes are like my OH.

Thanks for pointing that out

 

[andreeuhxoxo]

At 15, I knew what was right and wrong and I was more than capable of making a decision like this. The law presumes to speak for everyone and not everyone is the same.

Furthermore, the type of man/partner he is has nothing to do with the type of father he will be. Nor does the fact that he didn't want the baby at first. The reality of having a child and the idea are two different things, many men who wanted nothing to do with babies have changed their minds... it's not your right to punish them as you have no right to play god in your child's life. You can guide them, but they should decide for themselves if they want their father in their lives.

Until the child is able to make that decision, the OP has to - and I'm sure she knows what's best for her child. She's also the only one who knows this man. IMO she shouldn't have to fear her daughter being around her own father. That right there is a red flag.

I don't think Croc-o-dile was looking for any legal advice. Just support! I hope everything works out for the best hun!

 

[jovigirl93]

Didnt wanna read and run
Thats terrible though! Im so sorry you had to go through all this!

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

Maybe the OP should just get advice in her own state because everyone on BnB clearly can't help her! Infact I'm not quite sure what advice she is looking for from us?

Anyway its probably best if we all leave it and she gets advice from a professional and discuss it with them

In all honesty, I really wasn't looking for advice. I was extreamly hurt and disgusted and just needed to get it all out. I can't stress enough that the UK and US are HIGHLY different in the way they think about and treat underage/overage relationships. I hadn't thought about this when I posted this thread, as I really wasn't aware of the difference in the culture. Not saying one is right or one is wrong, I'm just saying I wasn't aware there was such an huge difference.
I am going to seek legal advice and find the best option for ALL of us.

Anyway, I'm going to ask that this thread be locked, as I find it to just be pointless now. It's turned into an argument, which is not what I intended. I just really needed to get that off my chest.

 

[vermeil]

please think of your health and baby first! Get that BP down! What you`re going through is absolutely awful. I think he`s a total sleezebag for doing this over and over to young girls.

What some are missing here is intent. He purposefully plans meeting underage girls, from broken homes, using different names etc. He plans to earn their trust, intently tells them not to tell anyone else of their relationship. This is all PLANNED and on PURPOSE. Use the term you will, he`s a PREDATOR and knows all too well what he`s doing. He probably tells each one how they`re the first, how special and precious their relationship is etc. I'm just really worried for other young girls out there.

Seek legal advice, read up on the subject, talk to you close friends if you can to let some steam out. And take care of yourself!! *huugs*

 

[MyFirstNoodle]

Maybe the OP should just get advice in her own state because everyone on BnB clearly can't help her! Infact I'm not quite sure what advice she is looking for from us?

Anyway its probably best if we all leave it and she gets advice from a professional and discuss it with them

In all honesty, I really wasn't looking for advice. I was extreamly hurt and disgusted and just needed to get it all out. I can't stress enough that the UK and US are HIGHLY different in the way they think about and treat underage/overage relationships. I hadn't thought about this when I posted this thread, as I really wasn't aware of the difference in the culture. Not saying one is right or one is wrong, I'm just saying I wasn't aware there was such an huge difference.
I am going to seek legal advice and find the best option for ALL of us.

Anyway, I'm going to ask that this thread be locked, as I find it to just be pointless now. It's turned into an argument, which is not what I intended. I just really needed to get that off my chest.

Oh no thats fine. I was just confused because you weren't asking for advice yet everyone seemed to give it then everyone was disagreeing with the advice eachother was giving you......does that even make sense? it does in my head

Sorry came out a little wrong! Yeah I guess US and UK are different! Anyway good luck with whatever you do x

 

[AriannasMama]

My question is what the hell can a 25 year old and a 15 year old have in common anyways? I dont want to call him a pedophile, but perhaps immature and manipulative, most men like this date younger girls for the thrill and because they know girls their age wouldn't put up with their shitt. Not sure about taking away FOB's rights because I feel like if he wants to be involved he should, but you should just do this all legally so that the Judge can make a decision and make sure to tell your lawyer everything so that they can help you decide what is right and safe for your baby girl.