for or against dodies/pacifiers? And why?

[babydevil1989]

I'm very offended by the comment that toddlers with dummies just have lazy parents! My daughter is 2 and still has her dummy. She has severe reflux and giving her a dummy after she's had something to eat or drink helps her keep it down because of the sucking motion. Her food and drink often goes into her lungs because of her reflux and the dummy helps to prevent this, I'd much rather have a 2 year old with a dummy than go back to the middle of the night trips to the hospital for oxygen and steroids because her lungs are struggling. Also I feel I should add her speech is very advanced for her age.

I presume it was my statement that offended you and I'm sorry for that. I do stand by it though - obviously there are exceptions where there is a medical reason behind it but IMO it seems to be far too common for all of these children with dummies to have severe reflux! I also notice a very strong correlation between older children who still use dummies and the child still being in a buggy despite running quite happily around the playground for the last hour. Again, some of these children might have mobility issues (not that they are apparent to me) but that will be a small percentage and the rest will be lazy parents who can't be bothered to encourage their child to walk home.

I remember when I started school (I would have been 5 or so) and there was a kid in my class whose Mum used to collect him with a buggy and give him a dummy to suck on the way home. There was nothing wrong with this lad, I still don't understand it! So that's probably why it bothers me to see it.

I think its all too easy to say you should encourage your child to walk home but try putting it into practice - the fact is toddlers get tired easily and if they have had a long day sometimes they just wont walk - some of the children you see may seem fine but maybe they have problems such as low iron or a medical problem you cant see - its easy to judge but id just try to think of why that child might be in a pushchair - you might eat your words once you have a toddler x

 

[girlinyork]

I've bought a few but I would rather avoid using them. I'm not one to judge another parent for doing so either. Each parent has their own individual battles to fight and if a dummy helps, then so be it. I'm yet to meet a dysfunctional adult who can pin their issues on being given a dummy so each to their own

 

[Mrsmac02]

I'm neither for nor against dummies. Im going to buy a few in case baby mac benefits from them and will make a decision when he/she arrives. And whatever DH and I decide, I won't judge anyone for their decisions about whether their child does or does not use them. Each to their own I say!

I was 4 when I gave up my dummy - my teeth are absolutely fine and I'm told that at 2 I could hold a full conversation with the adults around me, so dummies didn't affect my speech either.

Xx

 

[lynnikins]

my eldest son had one, was a godsend honestly i tried to limit the use and instead respond to his noises and I know he barely got it during the day when DH was taking care of him, he tossed it out of the pushchair at about 11 months old when crossing the road and i didnt go back for it lol, we tried ds2 with one but because of his tounge tie he wouldnt take it and ds1 kept swipping it off him all the time so it was pointless and in the end we gave up and ds3 never got one , this baby might or might not, Im not going to get one ahead of time caus we have 24hr stores local to us so can nip out and get one if we need it

 

[Sarahdisco]

I've bought some as a back up.

I plan to breastfeed and nurse on demand, however if baby is a serious comfort sucker at sleep times then I will use a dummy. I am a single mum and I really wont have the time to have her attached 24/7 if she needs a little comfort.

That being said, they will only be introduced at a minimum of 6 weeks old (beforehand she will use me/breast), only at sleep times (including day naps) and completely removed by 6-9months old.

I'm planning on this too. I've got 1 as a back up, but as I'm planning to breastfeed I dont want to use one until 6-8 weeks. I'd like the baby to be off her dummy by 1 if we do use it, a good friend of mine said she only lets LO use one at night so that the baby gets used to night time sleeps being "the big sleep" so if we do go down the dummy route then that will be the way we'll try to do it. And no dummy's past 1 if possible!

 

[Mum2BKW]

I'm very offended by the comment that toddlers with dummies just have lazy parents! My daughter is 2 and still has her dummy. She has severe reflux and giving her a dummy after she's had something to eat or drink helps her keep it down because of the sucking motion. Her food and drink often goes into her lungs because of her reflux and the dummy helps to prevent this, I'd much rather have a 2 year old with a dummy than go back to the middle of the night trips to the hospital for oxygen and steroids because her lungs are struggling. Also I feel I should add her speech is very advanced for her age.

I presume it was my statement that offended you and I'm sorry for that. I do stand by it though - obviously there are exceptions where there is a medical reason behind it but IMO it seems to be far too common for all of these children with dummies to have severe reflux! I also notice a very strong correlation between older children who still use dummies and the child still being in a buggy despite running quite happily around the playground for the last hour. Again, some of these children might have mobility issues (not that they are apparent to me) but that will be a small percentage and the rest will be lazy parents who can't be bothered to encourage their child to walk home.

I remember when I started school (I would have been 5 or so) and there was a kid in my class whose Mum used to collect him with a buggy and give him a dummy to suck on the way home. There was nothing wrong with this lad, I still don't understand it! So that's probably why it bothers me to see it.

I think its all too easy to say you should encourage your child to walk home but try putting it into practice - the fact is toddlers get tired easily and if they have had a long day sometimes they just wont walk - some of the children you see may seem fine but maybe they have problems such as low iron or a medical problem you cant see - its easy to judge but id just try to think of why that child might be in a pushchair - you might eat your words once you have a toddler x

This might be my first baby of my own but I have years of experience with babies, toddlers and young children. It's interesting that you assume that I don't just because I have a strong opinion... believe me I know all too well how they can run around like a mad thing for 15 minutes and then crash. So you know what I do? I let them run around like crazy for 10 minutes so they will still have the energy to walk home. Or we sit down for half an hour with a snack before we walk home so he/she has some time to recover. It's hardly rocket science.

So yes, some children do have medical issues and I absolutely appreciate that. What's the excuse for the rest?

 

[katnkayla]

I'm very offended by the comment that toddlers with dummies just have lazy parents! My daughter is 2 and still has her dummy. She has severe reflux and giving her a dummy after she's had something to eat or drink helps her keep it down because of the sucking motion. Her food and drink often goes into her lungs because of her reflux and the dummy helps to prevent this, I'd much rather have a 2 year old with a dummy than go back to the middle of the night trips to the hospital for oxygen and steroids because her lungs are struggling. Also I feel I should add her speech is very advanced for her age.

I presume it was my statement that offended you and I'm sorry for that. I do stand by it though - obviously there are exceptions where there is a medical reason behind it but IMO it seems to be far too common for all of these children with dummies to have severe reflux! I also notice a very strong correlation between older children who still use dummies and the child still being in a buggy despite running quite happily around the playground for the last hour. Again, some of these children might have mobility issues (not that they are apparent to me) but that will be a small percentage and the rest will be lazy parents who can't be bothered to encourage their child to walk home.

I remember when I started school (I would have been 5 or so) and there was a kid in my class whose Mum used to collect him with a buggy and give him a dummy to suck on the way home. There was nothing wrong with this lad, I still don't understand it! So that's probably why it bothers me to see it.

I think its all too easy to say you should encourage your child to walk home but try putting it into practice - the fact is toddlers get tired easily and if they have had a long day sometimes they just wont walk - some of the children you see may seem fine but maybe they have problems such as low iron or a medical problem you cant see - its easy to judge but id just try to think of why that child might be in a pushchair - you might eat your words once you have a toddler x

This might be my first baby of my own but I have years of experience with babies, toddlers and young children. It's interesting that you assume that I don't just because I have a strong opinion... believe me I know all too well how they can run around like a mad thing for 15 minutes and then crash. So you know what I do? I let them run around like crazy for 10 minutes so they will still have the energy to walk home. Or we sit down for half an hour with a snack before we walk home so he/she has some time to recover. It's hardly rocket science.

So yes, some children do have medical issues and I absolutely appreciate that. What's the excuse for the rest?

Couldn't agree more i hate when I pick dd up from nursery to see the amount of kids stuck in buggy dummies in and off! She has walked everywhere from 14 month (I have a bad back and she was simply to heavy for me to push anymore) it's nurture if there used to walking they will yeah takes a while at first lots of breaks etc but now she will quite happily walk 5 mile plus through th woods its one of her favourite things to do I do however also agree that some children have health issues that require both buggys and dodies however I think because you are in that position baby devil you give more ppl benefit of the doubt in my area I know that most of these kids have no medical reason but are simply easier to control fastened in n shut up sad but true xx oh and as for op I personally think there fine til 9-12 month I said no child of mine would have one after 48 hours of restless baby she did her teeth and speech are fine and I also read it reduces SIDs x

 

[babyhopes2010]

i was against them until 3 weeks pp. someone shoved one in her mouth and she was quiet i was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

however i did get rid by 6months
it was fairly easy BUT now shes a thumb sucker!!!!

 

[babydevil1989]

You can have all the experience in the world with children they are still different when they are your own - honestly my son hasnt used a pushchair since he was 2 but he still gets tired and asks to be carried alot - obviously I cant do that atm so we dont go for long walks - im not saying your opinion isnt valid im just saying your opinion could well change when u have your own 24/7 7 days a week sometimes its easy to judge for what things look like to strangers (iv done it before everyone does!)

 

[babyhopes2010]

You can have all the experience in the world with children they are still different when they are your own - honestly my son hasnt used a pushchair since he was 2 but he still gets tired and asks to be carried alot - obviously I cant do that atm so we dont go for long walks - im not saying your opinion isnt valid im just saying your opinion could well change when u have your own 24/7 7 days a week sometimes its easy to judge for what things look like to strangers (iv done it before everyone does!)

Its true!
My mums been childminder all my life so i grew up with ALOT of kids/babies around me.

What u can deal with as a childminder when u dont have them 24/7 is different as to when ur a parent. also the crys ect sound different. when ur a mum and ur childs crying it can be unbearable bcos of the parent child bond.

there are judgements i made before i was a mother that have now changed.

my daughter is 18months old and imo still a baby so ill treat her like a baby. kids are forced to grow up too fast these days

 

[felix555]

I'm very much against once baby gets to walking age and if they are used all the time during the day. I totally get it for helping a young baby to settle (but only if they need it, not by default). I hate seeing 'children' (too big to be called babies) running around with a dummy in their mouth in the playground.

My reasons are:
1. It looks ugly to have half your child's face obscured by a chunk of plastic
2. It does make me think the parent is lazy for stuffing a dummy in the child's mouth ALL the time (again I'm talking about older babies now)
3. How can baby learn to talk and communicate clearly with that in their mouth?
4. I understand in older children it can damage their teeth and cause them to grow at funny angles

When our baby is very small, if it wants to comfort suck I have no problem giving a dummy, but only when it's napping/sleeping.

You sound like me before I had my baby. He's done wonders for my cocksure attitude.

 

[Audraia]

I said I'd never use one, but it was the only way to get my daughter to fall asleep. That's the only time we use one, and not always. If she won't settle down in the normal ways then we use the binky to settle her to bed. I think it's better than setting her down with a bottle at night like I've seen some parents do. I know it's going to be a hard habit to break, and my DH gives her the binky way more than she needs it which drives me crazy, I'm trying to wean her from it and he just keeps giving it when she doesn't want/need it!

But really, have some on hand just in case, you don't have to make the choice now. Have a couple different kinds too, my DD would only take Nuk. Some babies don't want them at all!

 

[babyhopes2010]

Having ur first baby is a huge shock! things u felt so strongly about seem to change

baby sleeping 1/2 hr slots at night screaming with reflux & colic. not slept for days.
i put that dummy straight in her mouth!

 

[Jessica0907]

I think it's not my place to judge what other parents do with such a benign piece of plastic. I once thought it repulsive to see a toddler or 4 year old with one. But then I made an amazing friend who has a child with autism. Her daughter was 3 at the time, nonverbal, and would rock back and forth. The paci would calm her anxiety when they were in public. She wouldn't suck on it but rather chew on it. My friend would have total strangers come up to her at the grocery store and tell her to get that paci out of her daughters mouth. That to me is disgusting. How dare someone do that! I haven't judged someone sense then. I've learned that as a parent, we do what works best for our own children. Sometimes we make good choices and sometimes there are better choices to be made, but that is for each individual parent to assess. Try a paci, and if it works for you, go for it. My son had one until 11 months. My daughter had the most horrific colic ever but would never take a paci. She had a very low need to suck. She just loved to cry.

 

[sue_88]

I think some people need less of the "You've got no idea until you've had your first" attitude in this thread. FTM's get it enough from Joe Bloggs walking down the street, it is not needed here too.

It's insulting, unnecessary and nothing related to a PERSONAL opinion on using a dummy.

Everybody has their own ideas, plans and views on raising children and are fully entitled to believe those plans will be in place when the baby has arrived.

 

[aliss]

I think they can be very useful. Sometimes when we are pregnant, we worry so much about not having enough milk that some of us forget that there is such a thing as oversupply or overactive letdown (think of a faucet on full blast!). In this case, I found a pacifier (with my 2nd) to be fantastic, because when you have over supply/overactive letdown, your baby sometimes cannot comfort nurse without getting serious belly pain/choking.

I never used one with my 1st (he had no interest and I did not nurse him), the 2nd was a great nurser but needed it to enjoy some comfort nursing as I could not do that for him.

I think it's a wait and see approach. Every baby and every woman is different. Many babies won't want to use one, some babies love them, some women have nursing problems (overactive letdown, preemie without sucking reflex, acid reflux). They aren't horrible things, they can be useful in appropriate situations. Of COURSE I would prefer to not use one at all but I think there is a lesser of all evils.

 

[aliss]

I think maybe people just get insulted that it's called an ugly piece of plastic, lol. I think my avatar is cute and that is his way of 'comfort nursing' as unfortunately my boobs drown him. I think all babies are entitled to some comfort sucking, after all that is what they were designed to do. If I can't give it to him, then why not.

 

[sue_88]

I think they can be very useful. Sometimes when we are pregnant, we worry so much about not having enough milk that some of us forget that there is such a thing as oversupply or overactive letdown (think of a faucet on full blast!). In this case, I found a pacifier (with my 2nd) to be fantastic, because when you have over supply/overactive letdown, your baby sometimes cannot comfort nurse without getting serious belly pain/choking.

I never used one with my 1st (he had no interest and I did not nurse him), the 2nd was a great nurser but needed it to enjoy some comfort nursing as I could not do that for him.

I think it's a wait and see approach. Every baby and every woman is different. Many babies won't want to use one, some babies love them, some women have nursing problems (overactive letdown, preemie without sucking reflex, acid reflux). They aren't horrible things, they can be useful in appropriate situations. Of COURSE I would prefer to not use one at all but I think there is a lesser of all evils.

If you have oversupply is it good to pump that & keep it? Or would that just trigger the breast to keep making more?

My midwife was telling me to expect times like being in the shower where it is literally squirting out !!

 

[babydevil1989]

Its also a very personal thing to call parents who give their child a dummy lazy but thats my opinion!

 

[aliss]

I think they can be very useful. Sometimes when we are pregnant, we worry so much about not having enough milk that some of us forget that there is such a thing as oversupply or overactive letdown (think of a faucet on full blast!). In this case, I found a pacifier (with my 2nd) to be fantastic, because when you have over supply/overactive letdown, your baby sometimes cannot comfort nurse without getting serious belly pain/choking.

I never used one with my 1st (he had no interest and I did not nurse him), the 2nd was a great nurser but needed it to enjoy some comfort nursing as I could not do that for him.

I think it's a wait and see approach. Every baby and every woman is different. Many babies won't want to use one, some babies love them, some women have nursing problems (overactive letdown, preemie without sucking reflex, acid reflux). They aren't horrible things, they can be useful in appropriate situations. Of COURSE I would prefer to not use one at all but I think there is a lesser of all evils.

If you have oversupply is it good to pump that & keep it? Or would that just trigger the breast to keep making more?

My midwife was telling me to expect times like being in the shower where it is literally squirting out !!

Ooo pumping makes it so much worse!! lol! I tried that!! You will want to do a little hand expressing every so often (and esp. in the shower), put the baby to the boob frequently (as leaving it too long can make you really blow up like a porn star and get mastitis), and then pray for it to be over in 6-8 weeks

Yes, that's basically it. I actually had to sleep on towels the first few weeks. It was wonderful though - I didn't understand BF with my 1st and thought I had no supply. Turned out to be the opposite LOL.